You Don't Know A Thing About My Sins

-TheNextDay-

-Gerard'sPOV-

I was sitting on the stool next to mywindow, watching birds pecking at the ground in search of food. It seemed so peaceful. Their lives are so simple, they don't have to cope with love, heartache, depression, and death. All those feelings were going through my mind when I heard a knock on the door. I muttered for whoever it was to come in. Of course, it was Mikey.

“Hey, Gee." He said, seeming to be happy yet still cautious.

“Hi...” I muttered, glancing out of the window again. Mikey closed the door and sat down on the bed. He sighed quickly and folded his hands.

“Well, Alicia and I are having a date tonight...I’m excited...it’s our first date, and I don’t know how it’s going to go.” Mikey said, sounding nervous.

“I’m sure you’ll be fine. So, where are you guys going?” I asked, actually dying inside after each word that I was saying.

“Actually, we’re going to the beach. Going to take a walk on the boardwalk and stuff...nothing too much...”

“Which beach?”

“Cape May...we know better than to go to Wildwood...talk about crowded...” He said while laughing. I smiled slightly, but I didn’t really find it funny. Nothing seemed funny to me anymore.

“Well, I hope you guys have fun! I think you should better go get ready though...what time is the date, anyway?” I asked, just trying to get him away as a lump began to form in my throat from the conversation itself. Mikey’s smile faded a little bit.

“You mean, you want me to leave?” he asked, seeming depressed.

“No, it’s just...I don’t want you to mess up a chance with a girl you really like...” I said, trying to sound convincing. Mikey’s smile reappeared and he sighed happily.

“Well, I guess you’re right, the date’s in a few hours anyway...might as well get psyched up for it!” he said, shooting up from the bed. I felt a little relieved, but inside I just wanted to pull him close and tell him to forget Alicia and be with me...that would’ve been perfect...instead I reached over to pull him into a loving embrace.

“I hope you end up happy...” I said simply. I meant it though. I wanted him to be happy...I really did. I felt him smile against my cheek, and it made my heart race.

“Thanks, Gee...you’re an awesome brother, you know that?”

“Yeah, yeah I know...now go on and let your testosterone take over.” I joked, actually feeling weird by saying that. Mikey burst out in laughter and kissed my forehead. That was a nice gesture on his behalf, I’ll admit. Of course, I liked it for the wrong reasons...Mikey parted from me and said his goodbyes, and after a while I sat around, not wanting to do anything. I looked around the room, wondering if there was something I could possibly live for besides Mikey.

Eh, I guess not...

-Mikey'sPOV-

Wow...Gerard’s really changed! He seems happier now, and he doesn’t seem to want me to leave his sight! I’m almost certain that he’s getting better, and it couldn’t have happened at a better time! I have a new girlfriend, my brother’s getting better...this is bound to be one of the best days of my life so far.

-Gerard'sPOV-

He was in love with someone else...a girl...I might’ve been less disappointed if it was a guy, so that maybe my chances were better, but he had a girlfriend, so no chance there. There’s just no way around it all...Mikey was never going to feel for me the way that I feel for him, that’s it...if Mikey’s never going to be with me, then...well...then...

There’s no use for living in this world...

...and I’ll probably want it painless too, it’s gotta be soon...maybe...two weeks from today...yeah, that’s probably the best time...it’ll give me enough time to say goodbye.

If you think about it, I’m doing all of this for Mikey...Mikey, my brother, my long lost lover, my friend, my best friend...

Mikey, I’m doing this all for you...

-Later-

-Mikey'sPOV-

I was standing at the boardwalk waiting for Alicia. I'd arranged to meet up with her for a bit, like a date. Well, I dunno if it's a date but I think it is.

God, I'm so nervous.

I felt happier though knowing that Gerard was happy for me, he seemed pretty happy anyway. I waited for another 10 minutes and looked down at my watch. She was 15 minutes late...maybe she didn't want to come meet me anymore. She's probably realised that I'm not her type of guy and she doesn't want to go out with me. I sighed and looked up. In the distance, walking down the beach I noticed a familiar figure running towards me.

"Hey Mikey! Sorry I'm late!" Alicia said to me as she ran over to where I was.

"It's okay...you're here now!" I replied with a smile. She smiled back.

She was so beautiful.

Stupid Mikey for thinking she was having second thoughts.

"Soo...what do ya wanna do?" she asked me.

"I just thought we'd take a walk around here, have an ice cream or something..." I told her.

"Okay!" she replied.

We walked around for a minute in silence until suddenly she took my hand in hers. I blushed.

"Aww! That's so sweet...you're blushing!" she pointed out, leading me over to an ice cream stand.

Thanks Alicia, that's really gonna make me blush even less. I smiled back at her and chose an ice cream and paid for both mine and hers. We sat down at a free table near the side of the boardwalk and started talking about different things.

"So Mikey...what kinda stuff do you like? Like food...or movies..." she asked me, licking at her ice cream.

"Um...I love sushi...my favourite movies are any kind of horror films...you?"

"I eat anything really...I love horror films too. And I adore cats haha!" she replied, moving away strands of hair that had blown into her face.

We sat talking a little more and eating our ice creams. I couldn't help but think to myself how lucky I was to be with someone like Alicia. She's a fantastic person who likes almost everything I do, she's polite and just completely incredible...who knows why she wants to go out with someone like me.

There must've been a weird look on my face because suddenly she said,"Y'know Mikey, I'm not a girl who's out for fame. I care about you...and I don't care if you sell five million records or five hundred, I'd still feel the way I feel for you now..."

Or maybe she can just read minds. I smiled at her. She took out a photograph from her wallet and handed it me. I had no idea why, but I took it and examined it. She looked pretty in the picture, I will admit. Her hair up in a messy updo and strands of hair falling into her face. She was smiling in the picture, which made her glow in the sunlight around her. It was a beautiful picture, and I smiled widely.

"This is a very lovely picture of you, you know." I told her, giving the picture back. She giggled and pointed to it.

"Would you believe me if I said that that was my sister?" she said, wind blowing in her hair as she brushed it away. I felt my jaw tighten and I bit my lip in embarassment. I had just told my girlfriend that her sister was hot....nice going, MIKEY! You idiot.

"Sorry...I - "

"It's okay...you didn't know...we're twins...hahaa, so I guess in a way you were complimenting me too..." she told me with a smile.

I laughed.

Suddenly a seagull swooped down over our table and attacked the ice cream cone that I had almost finished. I screamed and jumped up, Alicia sat there laughing her head off.

"That wasn't funny...it could've pecked my hand off!" I exclaimed, actually laughing a little myself.

"I'm laughing at the way you screamed!" she told me whilst standing up.

I blushed again.

"Awww...I keep making you blush...come on, let's go over here where it's safer..." she said as she took my hand once again and led me over to the railing at the side of the boardwalk.

I looked away from her for a split second and looked to see the ocean. It was growing dark, but I could still see the waves crashing against the sandy surface. The wind blew in our faces, and the moon was out and glowing above the water. Its reflection on the water made it glow a dark blue and white, it seemed so beautiful. I looked back at Alicia and saw her face. I was taken away at that very moment, her eyes twinkling from the moon’s light, looking at the stars above and smiling. Her face was lightly illuminated to a dark blue from the night, and she turned her attention to the ship that was far off in the distance. It was a cruise ship, but it’s dark shadow made it look haunted, and the clouds surrounding it were purple, blue, black and white from the various light sources, and the whole scene just looked breathtaking. The sand glittered and the seashells shone on the beach, little pieces sticking out all over. It looked like diamonds on grains of sugar...it was just that beautiful.

I looked back at Alicia, she too was staring out into the ocean and admiring how beautiful it was but noticing that I had looked back at her she turned her head and looked me in the eyes. We both started leaning forwards and I only realised what was happening when her soft lips pressed against my own. We kissed sweetly for what seemed like a while, until suddenly I felt a really weird lump in my throat. Like I shouldn't be doing it. I pulled away sharply and Alicia looked at me worryingly.

"I'm sorry..." she whispsered, obviously thinking I was mad at her for kissing me.

"Don't be, it was amazing...I just...I dunno..." I replied.

She smiled back but averted her eyes to somewhere other than me.

"I mean it...it wasn't because of the kiss." I told her again and pressed my lips gently against hers again.

I felt the weird nagging feeling in the back of my head again but set it aside and ignored it, taking in this wonderful moment.

This was the woman I wanted to be with for the rest of my life.