Will You Catch Me If I Fall?

Addison POV

I walked slowly through the night city, meandering across the dazzling bright street lights, making my way to no-one in particular.

I stopped and watched a bird feather drift lazily across the pavement, the subtle wind blowing it gently like a lovers caress.

I sighed, looking up to the dark sky. The stars, unable to be seen by the smog and lights from the city.

I looked at the building in front of me, the shop beside it dark and desolate, its owner long gone, home to bed. To her family.

I had no family.

No-one.

And this was why I was here.

I pressed one hand to the grimy wall, not caring to think about the germs that probably lay on its grey surface and balance carelessly, raising one foot to slip off my shoe and then the other.

I stumbled up the stairs, my heels hanging from my hand and I yawned widely. God, I was tired.

I knocked on the door on the third floor, the second door to the right. The small corridor was lit with a dim, dirty lamp and its lino floor was peeling in various places.

I knocked again, pressing my ear against the door. There was no sound from inside, not even the familiar snores that had become so comforting to me on painful nights that they were my own personal lullaby.

I sighed, Frank-E was, quite obviously, not home.

I gazed around, biting my lip thoughtfully, making sure that the other two doors of the apartments either side was closed before I crept over to the very corner of the floor.

I sneaked a glance up, ignoring the spider that scuttled across my hand as I disturbed his cobweb home as I peeled back the lino at the very corner of the hall.

I removed it easily, having done it many times before, after all, this key was put here for me. I grasped the dirty, silver key and unlocked the thin wooden door of Frank-E’s apartment and quickly replaced it, stamping down on the lino so it looked like it had never been tampered with.

I entered the apartment, closing the door behind me and didn’t even bother to turn on the light.

I dropped my shoes with a thud on the floor and collapsed onto the sofa, that had been my bed on countless nights. I sat for what seemed an age, staring around at the quiet place.

The feeling of loneliness hit me like a cannon ball. I had been on my own for so long. I didn’t have any friends, my sole companion Frank-E who was just as messed up and suicidal like me…and now here I was, back from pushing Trace away from…yet again.

“What’s wrong with you” I whispered to myself, the shadow of my words rebounding off the walls to hit me full force again, to dance around my frail, fading body and mock me with an evil distaste.

What was wrong with me?

Everything.

I looked at the clock, ticking on the wall in front of me, half hanging on its nail. The sound of time passing seemed loud and vibrated through the air.

I touched my hand to my cheek as I realised I was crying. Hot, salty tears rushed down my face and I dropped my hands again, they fell with a slap to my knees and I sobbed.

An hour later, I lay in Frank-E’s bed. I couldn’t sleep alone on that couch, with that stupid clock teasing me, laughing at me. Telling me to end it and not bother with one more day of my tasteless, good for nothing life.

The sound of the door opening and closing, told me Frank-E was finally home. I curled into a ball under his covers, pressing my wet cheeks into his pillow.

His bedroom door opened and I knew without looking, he was standing, framed, in the doorway.

He gave a soft laugh “I thought they were your shoes”

I said nothing, just blinked and Frank turned away, tossing his jacket and top to the floor, his bare chest rippling with the muscles I had so often run my hands down. I heard the sound of him pulling his jeans off his legs and he pushed back the sheets of his bed and breathed softly

“Addison…what did you do?” he asked me gently
I shook my head, curling my thin frame into an even tighter ball, trying to ignore the stinging from my skin, and the blood that was streaked across the white sheets.

I whimpered as Frank-E crawled over to me, and pulled me onto his lap. I shut my eyes, shutting away the tears I wanted to cry and tried not to flinch as Frank-E raised my left wrist to his mouth, kissing it tenderly.

He ran his thumb over my swollen, red skin, caked with dry blood. Deep enough to hurt, to bleed and to cause a scream of agony, shallow enough not to die.

Frank-E rocked me gently back and forth, knowing the procedure, not asking, knowing I wouldn’t answer any questions.

He pushed be back onto my pillow and rushed the hair back from my face as I gazed at him. He stared at me

“I just want to…stop the hurting…I want to stop it all” I whispered, choking back a sob.

Frank-E lay back, and allowed me to cradle my head on his chest. He shushed me softly

“I know sunshine…I know…but someday will be the time when we’ll leave…and then the hurting will stop…”

I nodded. I wanted it to stop now, the pain, the hurt, the ache of the hole in my heart that used to be filled by my laughing, beautiful sister….but I guess I could wait a little bit longer.