Will You Catch Me If I Fall?

Addison POV

I watched with a strange disinterest as the smoke from my cigarette drifted in a lazy manner above my head. I watched as it curled, creating thin distorted shapes with its vapour body. I believe, the smoke was reflected in my green eyes as I watched, staring, unblinking. I wondered for a wild, fantastical moment if our lives, as humans were like these weak gently wisps of smoke that flew from our mouths, our nostrils, curling delightfully in the air, until...with a brush of wind, we disappeared.

Could our lives be described like that? We are born, and then like the smoke drifting from my open mouth we start our lazy travel towards the end of our lives. Our whole life is a journey and we decide how short or long our particular journey will be.

I chuckled to myself. I was delusional, I was high...I stretched, my hip bones poking into the sheets and I looked across at the man next to me in the familiar bed. He was smoking as well, and reading one of those motor magazines...I watched him for a moment, my eyes trailing from the side of his thigh that wasn’t covered by sheets, to the tight abs I had traced with my finger so often. I sighed; the familiar aching in my chest was still there. It wouldn’t go away.

Frank-E stopped reading and looked across at me, noting with his superior intellect the hollow sound my sigh had made. The droopiness at the corner of my mouth that indicated, as I so often was, that I was unhappy. I dropped my eyes from his then, and began to pick at a lone thread sticking from the pillow I was leaning upon. Was that what I was? A lone thread...

A strong finger touched the bottom of my chin, gripping it between itself and the thumb of that hand. Frank-E tilted my head up so I had no choice but to look at him. He searched my face, and stroked the side of my cheek thoughtfully, reassuringly.

“What is it Sunshine?” he murmured.

I turned away from his hand, and flopped my head back onto the pillow behind me. Fuck this, fuck everybody. My red hair spilled around my shoulders, tickling my sensitive skin.
I said nothing for a moment but I could feel Frank-E’s stare still on me, burning into the side of my head “I slept with Trace” I whispered, the words barely making a sound as they left my lips, curling upwards into the air just as my cigarette smoke had a moment before. But they didn’t disappear, they lingered, haunting me.

Frank-E moved closer to me, and I felt his foot rub against mine “And...it’s a good thing? I thought you liked him...”

I sighed, moving my head slightly to look at Frank-E “I do, I did...it was amazing...but...”

Frank-E trailed his finger down my face, wrapping a tendril of my hair around it “But what...? He doesn’t satisfy my Sunshine?”

I smiled “Fuck off...he...he left, and then...he hasn’t called me. Seen me...I didn’t think he’d do that.” I rolled over with a huff “Besides...that’s....”

Frank-E chuckled “That’s what you always do. You leave, without notes and never come back...”

“I thought this would be different” I whispered almost to myself “I didn’t think...he’d hurt me like that...”

Frank-E’s hand ran up my bare leg, stopping near the rim of my panties, he turned me over, his whole hand able to move my body towards him, and he leaned over me, his eyes boring into mine “You really liked him Addison...”

“Yeah I did...”

Frank-E nuzzled into my neck, the side of his body beginning to mould into mine. But he didn’t fit as well as Trace did. I don’t think anyone would. I closed my eyes against the burning promise of tears. I wasn’t going to cry over Trace Cyrus.

Frank-E began to kiss my neck and I moaned, not with longing but with a burning memory of Trace doing the same thing. He kissed me everywhere, sucking and biting. I still had a hickey on the inside of my thigh. I burned delightfully down below at that memory.

Frank-E kept kissing me, trying to make me feel better and I began to relax into his touch. I would do the same for him. We were now so strongly connected; he could almost feel my pain, as I would be able to feel his. As we said so many times before “If you go, I go with you. You jump, I jump”.

Frank-E moved down to my bare breasts, sucking and nibbling and this time I moaned with longing, rising up on the bed, my legs parting with lust. I could feel him smile against my skin. Asshole...but i wasn’t going to stop him...

~

I walked down the road quickly, my bag bumping against my leg with each stride. Fuck, it was annoying. I eventually stopped, ripping out my phone and purse from the fucker and dumped it in a bin with such ferocity; I could feel some car drivers eyes stare at me curiously, wondering if I was all right.

“Addison, what are you doing?”

My heart pretty much stopped as his liquid voice reached my ears. As his mouth moved with my name. Oh, I could remember that mouth, how it moved on me, in me, with me.

I turned around slowly, and as I turned I could feel my eyes freezing over, adopting the hard stare I had perfected so well. I felt myself put back up that wall that Trace had broken down without realising it.

I stared straight into his ocean blue eyes, and I searched his face for any reason he wouldn’t want to be near me, after he had given himself to me.
There was nothing but that kindness that had always been in his face and maybe a hint of worry. I sighed, the sound seeming heavy on the air “What do you want Trace?”