Status: Complete
Will You Catch Me If I Fall?
Dancing at the Disco
Strobe lights pulsed making my eyes swim with little white dots of energy, excitement and expectation.
The music pumped out of the speakers dotted around the walls, filling my body with the energetic beat and my fingers tapped rhythmically against my sides as my hips started to sway automatically in time to the tunes.
My friend of the month Annie appeared by my side, her ridiculous blonde curls bouncing on her shoulders. I gritted my teeth in an attempt to stop myself ripping them off her head. God dammit those curls annoyed me. I’ll be glad when she realises what a waste of space I am and leaves me, like the others.
“I dropped our coats in the cloak room” she said
I barely glanced at her, my eyes too busy scanning the crowd of grinding bodies. I already knew I’d be too wasted to remember collecting my jacket late. I remember where it would be tomorrow and have to come down here to pick it up. Like always.
I was a regular here. I knew each staff member by name and they knew me, seeing me at least once a week either pressed against the grimy wall with my lips on some random guy or slumped stylishly over the bar countertop, trashed out of my mind and unable to string a sentence together.
I’m not an alcoholic. I just like to mix things. Drinks with other lethal drinks, and drink with drugs.
Sometimes ecstasy.
Other times coke.
It depends.
Tanya, the bartender, raised a hand in greeting and I nodded back to what I could see of her, silhouetted by the neon blue lights that surrounded the bar.
I could already see at least three guys in the crowd I’d already fucked. I needed some new meat…I was hungry.
As well as lonely and miserable…but who cares?
“Go find someone to dance with” I ordered Annie who looked at me startled and hurt. I don’t why was she was surprised. That was me, blunt and often unkind.
That was me.
Addison Grey.
Well at least that was me now, I didn’t used to be like this, but things change. People change.
I watched with disinterest as Annie swiftly found a cute, simple guy to dance with. She was a nice kid…just irritating.
God, I sounded like an elder. But I’m only eighteen. Somehow with my life experience, it doesn’t seem right.
I wandered over to the bar; slipping in between the people and found Tanya had already lined up my usual vodka shots at my regular seat. I called out a thank you and quickly let the sharp liquor run down my throat. I stayed at the bar allowing the alcohol to take effect, accepting drinks off different men and soon fell into a beautiful kaleidoscope of the river between drunkenness and a sober mind.
I allowed myself to be led onto the dance floor, shaking my hips and loving how the man behind me pressed his body against my own.
I soon grew bored and slipped away, leaving the intoxicated man to prey on some other young girl. I danced alone for a while, hoping to catch someone’s eyes. Ready to draw a man to my alluring female form. I yearned to have someone run their hands down my body, to hear them breathe my name while I gave myself to them. Addison.
I noticed with satisfaction, a man leaning against the couches that lined the far wall, staring at me. His tall body was hugged by the tight skinny jeans and I found my eyes wandering up his tattooed arms.
A shiver ran through me as his eyes met mine and I knew I wanted him. I allowed my body to shimmer in time with the music that was still pumping, keeping eye contact; I ran my hands through my red hair, and made my body sway down to the floor and back up again, so the light caught my thin form, showing it off to perfection.
I smirked to myself as the guy got up and accepting my invitation, strolled over to me.
I turned so as he reached me our bodies collided. He wrapped his arms around me and our bodies melted into each other…as if it was what they were made for.
I gasped as his hot breath hit my neck, as we got even closer and I pressed myself into him, feeling his arousal against me. I wanted him now…
I turned and looked up at him, not realising how tall he actually was and stared at his perfect face, his piercings gleaming in the flashing lights.
I knew what to do, having gone through it a thousand different times with a thousand different guys. All I wanted was for someone to hold me tonight. For someone to want me.
I simply looked at him and he looked at me, a slight wonderment in his eyes. I traced my finger around his lips, feeling the cold metal of his snake bites against my skin. His blue eyes were illuminated by the flickering lights and the electric pulse in the nightclub seemed to mirror that of the electric pull of our bodies to each other.
It almost startled me when he was the one to collide his lips to mine, but I instantly relaxed allowing myself to surrender to his touch. Our lips parted and his tongue roamed my mouth and then coming back to lick my bottom lip. I moaned as his large hand rubbed my thigh, barely covered in the short skirt I had on.
It seemed an age; we stood there, melting into each other. He was with me, I was with him.
And then he pulled away.
I opened my eyes, confused, as his familiar touch now left me. He looked at me and after briefly touching my lips with his finger; he turned and walked out of the door with a group of guys who were hollering at him.
I stood, utterly devastated. Had I just been…rejected? Or was I not enough…
I refused to let the tears that swam in my eyes fall, refused to let myself crumble in this place. Here was where I reigned. In this club, I was Queen…without a King.
I sighed to myself, suddenly yearning for the familiar comfort of my own bed. For a mug of hot chocolate, for a good book…
I turned, stumbling slightly with the alcohol I had forgotten I had presumed. Kevin, the staff member in charge of the cloak room raised an eyebrow at me as I ordered my coat.
“This is…unusual” he stated
I scowled at him, not bothering to grace him with a reply, just concentrated on getting home.
I stumbled into the hallway, trying not to trip over the telephone table and poked my head into the front room. My mother was watching some late night television programme, my father reading the evening paper.
“I’m home” I said softly, trying not to disturb the perfect stillness in the house, but which I always seemed to ruin.
There was no reply except my mother glancing at me once and then sniffed uninterested and turned back to the TV. My father turned a page in the paper.
I tried not to whimper as I crawled upstairs, not hiding my drunkenness and stripped myself of my clothes, crawling naked under the bed.
I hugged my bare body to myself and then I cried into my pillow, the noise stifled by the smooth sheets and I fell asleep, my tears still making their way down my face…to disappear into nothing..
The music pumped out of the speakers dotted around the walls, filling my body with the energetic beat and my fingers tapped rhythmically against my sides as my hips started to sway automatically in time to the tunes.
My friend of the month Annie appeared by my side, her ridiculous blonde curls bouncing on her shoulders. I gritted my teeth in an attempt to stop myself ripping them off her head. God dammit those curls annoyed me. I’ll be glad when she realises what a waste of space I am and leaves me, like the others.
“I dropped our coats in the cloak room” she said
I barely glanced at her, my eyes too busy scanning the crowd of grinding bodies. I already knew I’d be too wasted to remember collecting my jacket late. I remember where it would be tomorrow and have to come down here to pick it up. Like always.
I was a regular here. I knew each staff member by name and they knew me, seeing me at least once a week either pressed against the grimy wall with my lips on some random guy or slumped stylishly over the bar countertop, trashed out of my mind and unable to string a sentence together.
I’m not an alcoholic. I just like to mix things. Drinks with other lethal drinks, and drink with drugs.
Sometimes ecstasy.
Other times coke.
It depends.
Tanya, the bartender, raised a hand in greeting and I nodded back to what I could see of her, silhouetted by the neon blue lights that surrounded the bar.
I could already see at least three guys in the crowd I’d already fucked. I needed some new meat…I was hungry.
As well as lonely and miserable…but who cares?
“Go find someone to dance with” I ordered Annie who looked at me startled and hurt. I don’t why was she was surprised. That was me, blunt and often unkind.
That was me.
Addison Grey.
Well at least that was me now, I didn’t used to be like this, but things change. People change.
I watched with disinterest as Annie swiftly found a cute, simple guy to dance with. She was a nice kid…just irritating.
God, I sounded like an elder. But I’m only eighteen. Somehow with my life experience, it doesn’t seem right.
I wandered over to the bar; slipping in between the people and found Tanya had already lined up my usual vodka shots at my regular seat. I called out a thank you and quickly let the sharp liquor run down my throat. I stayed at the bar allowing the alcohol to take effect, accepting drinks off different men and soon fell into a beautiful kaleidoscope of the river between drunkenness and a sober mind.
I allowed myself to be led onto the dance floor, shaking my hips and loving how the man behind me pressed his body against my own.
I soon grew bored and slipped away, leaving the intoxicated man to prey on some other young girl. I danced alone for a while, hoping to catch someone’s eyes. Ready to draw a man to my alluring female form. I yearned to have someone run their hands down my body, to hear them breathe my name while I gave myself to them. Addison.
I noticed with satisfaction, a man leaning against the couches that lined the far wall, staring at me. His tall body was hugged by the tight skinny jeans and I found my eyes wandering up his tattooed arms.
A shiver ran through me as his eyes met mine and I knew I wanted him. I allowed my body to shimmer in time with the music that was still pumping, keeping eye contact; I ran my hands through my red hair, and made my body sway down to the floor and back up again, so the light caught my thin form, showing it off to perfection.
I smirked to myself as the guy got up and accepting my invitation, strolled over to me.
I turned so as he reached me our bodies collided. He wrapped his arms around me and our bodies melted into each other…as if it was what they were made for.
I gasped as his hot breath hit my neck, as we got even closer and I pressed myself into him, feeling his arousal against me. I wanted him now…
I turned and looked up at him, not realising how tall he actually was and stared at his perfect face, his piercings gleaming in the flashing lights.
I knew what to do, having gone through it a thousand different times with a thousand different guys. All I wanted was for someone to hold me tonight. For someone to want me.
I simply looked at him and he looked at me, a slight wonderment in his eyes. I traced my finger around his lips, feeling the cold metal of his snake bites against my skin. His blue eyes were illuminated by the flickering lights and the electric pulse in the nightclub seemed to mirror that of the electric pull of our bodies to each other.
It almost startled me when he was the one to collide his lips to mine, but I instantly relaxed allowing myself to surrender to his touch. Our lips parted and his tongue roamed my mouth and then coming back to lick my bottom lip. I moaned as his large hand rubbed my thigh, barely covered in the short skirt I had on.
It seemed an age; we stood there, melting into each other. He was with me, I was with him.
And then he pulled away.
I opened my eyes, confused, as his familiar touch now left me. He looked at me and after briefly touching my lips with his finger; he turned and walked out of the door with a group of guys who were hollering at him.
I stood, utterly devastated. Had I just been…rejected? Or was I not enough…
I refused to let the tears that swam in my eyes fall, refused to let myself crumble in this place. Here was where I reigned. In this club, I was Queen…without a King.
I sighed to myself, suddenly yearning for the familiar comfort of my own bed. For a mug of hot chocolate, for a good book…
I turned, stumbling slightly with the alcohol I had forgotten I had presumed. Kevin, the staff member in charge of the cloak room raised an eyebrow at me as I ordered my coat.
“This is…unusual” he stated
I scowled at him, not bothering to grace him with a reply, just concentrated on getting home.
I stumbled into the hallway, trying not to trip over the telephone table and poked my head into the front room. My mother was watching some late night television programme, my father reading the evening paper.
“I’m home” I said softly, trying not to disturb the perfect stillness in the house, but which I always seemed to ruin.
There was no reply except my mother glancing at me once and then sniffed uninterested and turned back to the TV. My father turned a page in the paper.
I tried not to whimper as I crawled upstairs, not hiding my drunkenness and stripped myself of my clothes, crawling naked under the bed.
I hugged my bare body to myself and then I cried into my pillow, the noise stifled by the smooth sheets and I fell asleep, my tears still making their way down my face…to disappear into nothing..