Will You Catch Me If I Fall?

I stared out the window, down onto the street so far below us. The cars that looked liked bugs, the specks of people walking to meet their friends, or to work. I closed my eyes, thinking about how I used to fantasize about flying from windows like these, flying through the air so gracefully before I’d meet my end and all the pain I felt would abruptly stop. But not anymore. I was no longer that scared little girl that couldn’t deal with her problems. Life went on. It would always go on...and this time I was moving with it.

Trace hadn’t got rid of our apartment, he’d stayed in it and watched when I’d packed up my things and moved back with my parents. He’d waited whilst I built back up the relations I had torn down with my family, the only family I had left. He was there always, on the outskirts, looking on proudly as I began to realise who I was again.

Trace had promised to wait for me.

And when six months later, I had come back to him, asking did he still want me, he had smiled and answered, ‘yes’ as if it were the simplest question in the world.

I was building back up my life; I was making something of myself and not just for me. I thought of the lives that had been lost. Stephanie and Frank-E...they weren’t around to do all those things they’d wanted to do, to be the people they could have been. I would now live my life remembering them and I would have a reason to always want to succeed. To prove the type of person I could be, the type of person I had almost selfishly given away to Death.

I enrolled in adult night classes to finish up my high school education, and my old knowledge didn’t fail me. I passed everything with flying colours and I easily got into a local college course. I was going to help young people like me, I would become a guidance counsellor...reach out to those who felt there was no hope left. I knew now, there was always hope left. Always.

I looked towards the bedroom as Trace came out of it, pulling a t-shirt over his head and ruffling his silky black hair back from his tattooed face. He was still as beautiful to me as the first night I’d spotted him across the nightclub dance floor. He could still make me shiver in pleasure the way he did when we danced for the first time. And now our hearts beat in sync, and they always would.

That thought had my eyes flick down towards the diamond ring on my finger. Yes, Trace had proposed two weeks ago...and I had said yes. There wouldn’t be a whirlwind wedding, we’re going to take it slow, plan it out perfectly and eventually those wedding bells will ring.

I watched him as he took a slice of toast, and ate it quickly, rushing out to a meeting with his record company. He walked over towards me, kissing me sweetly on the lips and I could taste the rough breadcrumbs still dusting his mouth.

“I’ll be back later, I love you,” he murmured, turning to go.

“I love you too.”

And then just before he closed the door, I called out again, “Trace!”

He looked at me, “Yeah Addie?”

“Would you catch me,” I whispered, “If I fall?”

And Trace smiled, walked back over to me and kissed me deeply on the lips before resting his forehead against mine, catching my gaze with his, “Always.”