For What It's Worth

Chapter 9

When I woke the next morning, I was in Brooks’ bed again, only this time, it was under slightly different circumstances. At first, I snuggled deeper into his chest, reveling in the way that I fit perfectly into his arms. However, as the memories from the previous night came flooding back, those warm, fuzzy feelings were instantly replaced by ones that made me feel like a dirty whore.

The last thing I concretely remember was the sound of Krista’s voice as she left breakfast plans for her and Brooks on the voice mail. Or at least she had started to before Brooks picked me up, pulling out the telephone cord out from the wall as he passed it on the way to his bedroom. He kicked the door closed behind us, and I’m sure you can figure out what happened after that.

I looked around the room, attempting to locate my belongings so that I could leave as soon as possible. I know what you’re thinking, and the answer is yes. I was trying to make a getaway in my own home. Well, not so much a getaway as a stealthy escape from the hands of my captor, which at present, were gripping my sides so tightly you’d think I was going to disappear. Well, in his defense, that’s exactly what I was trying to do, but how could he know that even in his sleep?

As I wiggled around, Brooks’ began to stir and a wave of panic set in as I realized he was starting to wake. Not only was I a filthy one-night stand, but one he would surely regret. I didn’t want to be around when he put two and two together and the look of confusion on his face turned to one of regret.

I finally broke free of his grip, sitting upright, but I was so busy trying to avoid waking him that I didn’t notice I was rolled up in the sheets tighter than a hot tamale about to hit the deep fryer. I stumbled, tripping over a loose end, which in turn, resulted in me falling to the ground, and hard. I mean the whole damn house rattled. So maybe, stealthy wasn’t the appropriate word to describe my escape. Inept would be more accurate.

As I laid face down on the hardwood floor, I started to laugh uncontrollably, but probably because the only other option was crying. My head hurt, I was wrapped in a sheet on the floor of my best friend’s room, I had made the windows rattle, and he had only coughed a little before rolling over, still asleep. I picked myself up, stifling a laugh and made my way to the bathroom…you know, the one on the other side of the house, as far away as possible from Brooks.

I let the hot water run over me, hoping that it would somehow ease the uncertainly I felt in the pit of my stomach and in the back of my mind. Not only was Brooks my best friend, but he was taken. And by someone I had never even met. What if she was completely lovely and I had just helped Brooks break her heart. I was a bit preoccupied when she was leaving her message, but she had sounded nice enough. Come to think of it, why hadn’t I met her? I’d been living with Brooks for a few weeks now and I’d only ever heard him talk about her a handful of times. Maybe he wasn’t in love with her, but he and I had done an awful thing. An amazingly awful thing that I wasn’t sure I could forgive myself for. I’ve been cheated on before, and it’s the most painfully heartbreaking thing in the world to realize that you’re not good enough for someone. And here I was, playing the mistress. Not only that, but I have to admit, this was something I didn’t think Brooks was capable of either. It frightened me a little to know how easy it was for the two of us to lose control, to give in to the moment, forsaking the bigger picture.

I scrubbed as hard as I could at my skin, hoping to remove the guilt. I never in my wildest dreams imagined I’d be capable of something like this. I had imagined only too often, the moment when Brooks would realize I was entirely his, but this wasn’t how I wanted it to happen.

As I turned the water off, I could have sworn I heard someone, other than Brooks, in the house, well not unless he liked dressing in drag after sex and strutting around in high heels. I laughed at the thought, but stopped quickly when I heard a female voice coming from the kitchen. I threw on my robe and walked calmly to my room, trying to concentrate on what I was going to wear to work that day. I don’t know why I thought it would help, but I threw on a conservative white blouse, grey trousers, a black cardigan and black flats. Minimal makeup and a loose bun completed my look, and to be honest, I looked a bit like a nerdy grad student. I didn’t care though. She was here, in the kitchen with Brooks, and I had no idea what sort of story he was spinning for her, or if she even suspected anything to begin with.

Cowardly, I wanted to leave for work though the garage door so that I could avoid them both, but my laptop and notes were in the kitchen and I couldn’t go to work without them. I decided that meeting Krista would be less damaging to my ego than showing up for work unprepared. As I descended the stairs, I tried to steady my breathing, but as I rounded the corner and caught my first glimpse of her, I thought I was going to be sick.

Krista reminded me of, well, me, just like Mike and Alex had told me. The dark curls tied up in a loose bun at the base of her neck, the glasses, the cardigan, and her little circle skirt. She had the whole nerdy grad student thing going on even though it didn’t particularly suit her. She had a sweet face too... at least I was fairly certain she did. It was a little tough to see it through the look of awe she was giving Brooks. Geez. You’d think he’d just been canonized and was radiating a heavenly glow that could only be explained by the purity of his heart. If she only knew.

“Baby, I didn’t hear from you last night. I called and started to leave a message but then something cut me off.” Oh No. “So I tried calling five or six more times but you didn’t answer,” she cooed, pretending to pout.

Stupidly, I had hoped that he wouldn’t remember our evening’s extracurricular activities, but as several seconds passed, I knew that he was desperately trying to come up with a plausible answer as to why he had not answered the stalker’s calls. The look on her face was hopeful, so patient and so loving that I couldn’t stand the silence anymore.

“Um, we were playing checkers in the basement last night and we must have forgotten to bring the phone down with us,” I said as I rounded the corner. That was the best I could come up with? Apparently… not unless checkers was actually code for mind blowing, adulterous sex. Oh. My. God.

“Uh yeah, you know how I need a phone down there,” he trailed off awkwardly.

“It’s ok, you have a lot on your mind with training camp and all,” she said sweetly as she nuzzled his nose. Hey! That’s the Julianna and Brooks thing, bitch.

I turned to walk away, trying to tell myself that I had no right to react with so much hostility. Especially after what I had let happen. Brooks must have caught on because he spoke up.

“Uh. Krista, this is my best friend Julianna. Remember I told you she’s living with me?”

“Oh yeah!” she said a little too enthusiastically. “Brooks has told me all about you. He says your super smart and , like, work at the National Gallery and everything. That’s so awesome. I want to be a conservator too. I just started grad school myself and I’m really interested in foundations of Renaissance art…I’d totally love to pick your brain sometime!”

When she finished, she was completely out of breathe, staring at me hopefully as she adjusted her glasses.

“Sure,” I replied, swiping my bangs out of my eyes. I smiled because I was afraid I’d blurt out the entire truth if I tried to say anything further.

“Great! We can make it a lunch date…it’s so nice to have a fellow academic to discuss art with,” Krista replied eagerly as she began to rummage through the fridge for breakfast fixings.

“Well, I should get going,” I said, trying to sound as casual as possible given the situation. This girl was on cloud nine with no clue as to what was going on in the real world.

“You’re not going to stay for breakfast?” she asked, sounding a little hurt.

“I'd love to but we have a big day going on at work…I just want to make sure everything’s ready for when the director of the Met arrives.” That got her attention. Not that I was trying to grab it, it’s just that when I say things like that, people usually have no idea why it’s a big deal, nor do they care to ask.

“As in the Metropolitan Museum of Art,” she asked, nearly cracking her head of the freezer door.

“Yup.”

“Oh my god, I’m so excited for you!” Oh MY God, she’s hugging me now.

I only nodded, careful to avoid eye contact with Brooks who must have been beside himself. When Krista finally let go after what seemed like an extraordinary amount of time, I grabbed my belongings and turned to exit the kitchen when Brooks took my wrist. I was afraid to look at him because I knew he wouldn’t be able to say anything aloud, not unless he wanted to get us caught. He gave me a pleading look that said “we’ll talk later” and I nodded in response before turning to leave.

“Good Luck Julianna!” Krista yelled as I hit the front steps.

“Thanks,” I yelled back, watching as Brooks ran a hand through his auburn hair. Distressed did not even begin to describe the look on his face.

I managed to make it to the subway without falling into any sewers or tripping over any pot holes. I say this because my mind was reeling a million miles a minute and the last thing I cared about was where I was about to step.

I sat down with a sigh wondering what the hell I was going to do. Krista seemed eager, but kind hearted. She was so overtly in love with Brooks that even my infatuation looked like a silly little crush. I couldn’t stand that fact that she would be broken hearted when and if she found out, but then selfishly, I couldn’t stand the idea of Brooks regretting everything that had happened either. I was prepared for the worst, I always had been, but a small part of me undeniably hoped that if Krista was good enough for Brooks, that I might be too. Hell, even I could see that we were more or less the same person. Only I hoped I wasn’t so damn annoying.
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So i think's there's about 5 people reading this story, but if you're enjoying it, i'm happy to continue it =) Hope you like the new chapter and don't forget to comment!