Yelling Obscenities at You!

Jess and I were sitting on the couch at Rosaline's. I had surprised her with checking out as soon as we got to the hotel and packing my bags. Rosaline had slipped me her address and directions via text message. Jess and I had driven to her house, which turned out to be quite beautiful and comfortably sized. I was very much amazed when Jess began to assume I was still going to stay here forever with her, I hadn't made that decision yet.

"So I was thinking when the guys get their house, Me and you could live with them." I drew in a long breath and shook my head at her.

"Jess I'm not sure if I'm staying here forever. I did this so the charges on my credit card wouldn't be massive." She gave me a saddened look and nodded.

"We should get ready for the party." She got up quietly and went to her room, I sat still for a minute to take in her hurt expression. I hated hurting her but I had to be honest with her. I walked to the end of the hall and entered the room I was staying in. I slowly got dressed and since I didn't know what exactly to wear I had decided on a tee Jess let me borrow a couple months ago, I just never got around to giving it back and a pair of dark blue jeans. I pulled out my van's and my Jewelry bag that I had brought with me, I gazed at the chains and decided on the small silver heart Cody had gotten me and the engagement ring from him. I went to the bathroom and stood with Jess as I did my hair and make up after brushing my teeth.

"Your wearing the ring." She stated in a shocked tone, I glanced at her and then at the ring and shrugged.

"Yeah." She shook her head.

"Whats wrong?" I gave her a questioning look and continued with my eyeliner.

"You only wear that ring when somethings wrong." I shook my head and brushed out my hair.I need a hair cut my hair is almost past my ass, But I don't like anything short. I whimpered and looked at Jess.

"I think I need a hair cut." She reached out and finger combed a section of my hair.

"No I think it's beautiful." The entire ring issue forgotten, she returned to tying her hair back. Unlike my long wavy hair Jess had hair that came to her waist line when straightened and was more curly than wavy but still a mixture of both. Some thing about long hair attracted us. I turned and grabbed my make up bag, Tooth brush, and hair brush and returned to my room to put them on the night stand. I went to the living room after spraying my self with body spray and putting the ring on my chain. Jess joined me and we sat down to watch television, I was slightly impressed by her scent.

"Oh My God!" Rosaline came bursting through the door and stood in front of the television.

"Have you seen today's issue of Starz magazine?" I shook my head as she dug through her bag and then presented me with said magazine. Throwing it at me I flinched and caught it, I did a double take on the cover. There on the Cover was a picture of Tom carrying me out of the night club bridal style. The caption there was in bright yellow and all capital letters read

"Tom Kaulitz Has A Thing For Lost Super Models!" I gasped with Jess. In smaller print read 'read article on pages 35-41.' I quickly flipped to the page numbered thirty five to see a picture of Tom with his guitar and then an old picture of me Modeling a bikini. I read the caption below out loud so Jess could hear it to.

"Famous German Guitarist, Tom Kaulitz, from Tokio Hotel was spotted Saturday night getting out of the limo at their last concert of the European Tour with Celia Andrews, A famous super model from America who left for vacation two years ago and never came back. They walked hand in hand through a roaring crowd of fans and press smiling, They refused to answer any questions. Later Celia Andrews was invited on stage where the band preformed happy birthday and one of their hit songs, Sacred, for her twenty first birthday." There was a big picture of me sitting on stage with Bill in my lap and the story continued.

"After the concert they were seen leaving the Venue together. This time Super model Celia Andrews seemed distant and angry as she walked with a distance between her and Tom. " I looked at the picture, It showed Georg and Jess holding hands and then me and Tom walking with what seemed like a million miles between us. Tom's face was faking a smile and I had an angry scowl as I glared at him, Tom's body guard behind us. I shook my head trying to believe this.

"What's it say Celia." Jess urged and I nodded.

"Super model Celia Andrews was then pulled in to the crowd of screaming girls and press when she was blinded by a flash. Tom and his body guard instantly reacted and began to retrieve the Lost Model." I gasped as I saw the picture of Tom and his body guard running towards where I had been standing perfectly.

"Lost Model. How dare they, You left with warning." I glanced at Jess and then Rosaline.

"I knew you looked Familiar I saw you in Model's America with your Mom. Your both gorgeous." I nodded and looked at the magazine to continue.

"Tom became very defensive after Celia was under his arm, He lashed out at the press." I flipped the page after looking at the picture of him screaming in my defense. The next picture was of us arriving at the club.

"The group seemed to carry on the night Celebrating both another successful tour and a Birthday by going to Joe's night club. Georg seemed delighted with the reappearance of his long time girlfriend Jesmy Michaels, who is best friends with the lost model Celia Andrews. Bill Kaulitz was also seemingly delighted by his girlfriend Rosaline Brown's appearance. Tom and Celia had still seemed so distant entering the club, And Gustav was alone as his Girlfriend Vanessa was not in attendance. The reporter was not answered when he asked if they had broken up." I looked over the picture noting how Jess and Rosaline looked gorgeous, They nodded and nearly killed me to continue.

"After partying until the early hours of the morning the band left. This time Celia Andrews was locked in Guitarist's arms seeming extremely intoxicated. The last time the Model had been seen being carried out of a night club in a man's arms she was engaged to a man named Cody, as seen above." I glanced up to see the picture of me and Tom and then a picture of me and Cody. Both pictures looking extremely similar. Rosaline awed the picture and I could feel the tears in my eyes.

"Cody had passed away shortly after the picture seen was taken and not long after Celia had left for a very long vacation. Seems this vacation included finding a new mate. The next day Tom and Celia were spotted leaving the Guitarist's Condo and getting in to his escalade." I looked at the picture of us, I looked like shit, But Tom looked delicious. I flipped the page and the first picture to catch my attention was Tom and I getting out of the limo at Franklin's. I knew how this was going to end.

"Later that evening the couple had a romantic dinner at Franklin's. Celia seemingly taking a toll on the guitarist wardrobe, as he showed up in a very casual outfit looking ready to propose to the Lost Model. " I was ready to kill the Magazine publisher for that title. I was not a Lost Model, I was just a Model on a very Long vacation that I didn't intend on ending. I rolled my eyes and spotted the next picture of Tom and I dancing, the sneaky bastards.

"They shared a few dances and ate. Afterwords Tom was rewarded with a kiss." I quickly shut the magazine holding my place after seeing the pictures of us kissing.

"Oh My God! You Kissed Tom!" Both Rosaline and Jess screamed at me. I put my head in my lap over the magazine cursing the photographer.

"You liar!" I looked at Jess.

"How?" I opened the magazine again and looked at it.

"You said nothing happened!" I shook my head.

"No! I said I didn't sleep with him, Not that I didn't kiss or randomly have a very hot Make out session with him." She scowled.

"You will tell me when we get home, For now Continue!" I sighed looking back at the magazine and reading on.

"After returning home late, Tom was seen leaving his Home in his pajamas early in the morning. Very confused the paparazzi followed him to find him Picking up Celia Andrews at the Hampton Hotel and leaving again to a cafe' for breakfast. The couple were seen enjoying a nice meal in disguise." I laughed with Jess and Rosaline at the picture of Tom looking like a fool at the counter.

"Later they went shopping down town where Tom was seen in a woman's store with Celia shopping for bra's." I laughed at the picture and so did Jess.

"Awesome job." We high fived and I returned to the magazine.

"After twenty minutes Celia was dragged by an anxious looking Tom to his car. The Photographer followed him to see Celia dropping her bags off and returning to Tom as they left back to his place for an afternoon. Later the band was seen leaving with Celia, Jesmy and Rosaline." I looked at the picture and turned the page to see a big picture of Tom and I at Franklin's Kissing and the Picture of us with a million miles between us. The last box read.

"Although it's nice to see the Lost super model Return to the press we still have many mysteries to uncover over her. Society wants to know the real story on why she disappeared, What happened with Cody, Why she's in Finland? and is she secretly dating the famous guitarist Tom Kaulitz? Check out next months edition for more information." I closed the magazine and threw my head back. A low whimper escaping my lips, I wondered if Tom had seen this.

"Rosaline where'd you get this?" She shrugged.

"I snatched it from Tom's coffee table." I shifted my eyes and glanced at her.

"Why were you at Tom's?" My curiosity was burning through my words.

"He wanted to talk to me about Bill." I nodded and glanced at the clock.'

"We should leave." I tossed the magazine on the table and we walked out the door. Rosaline climbed in Bills Mercedes and Jess and I jumped in my corvette and we drove. My mind swirling around the magazine. There was no privacy, Camera's everywhere, And Tom and I were very much public even if they didn't know the whole thing yet.

~

We arrived at Gustav's with Rosaline behind us and I was still very annoyed with the magazine issue. This was one of the many reasons I left Modeling. Before I went in to the Condo I took in a large breath and exhaled pretending I wasn't feeling watched. I followed Jess to Gustav's door and was very thankful to be inside. There was a massive amount of people already here, a lot of them looked really familiar. I went to the kitchen and grabbed a beer from the fridge, If I was going to be here I was going to be at least buzzed. I felt like people were watching me now, I was extremely paranoid. But after three beer's I was very happy with the setting. I talked with a man who was in a band with two girls and his cousin and they were heavy metal, His accent was very thick and with the alcohol I was having issues understanding him. I had decided to just ramble on what I thought he was talking about, We shared a few laughs before I was suddenly annoyed with the conversation turn and the fact that he kept hugging me and putting his hands over mine and my beer. I took a few drinks and tried to ignore him now.

"So I saw jou in Starz. Tom Kaulitz man, He's cool. I Can't Believez Jour a Model!" I smiled understanding only that much of his entire sentence and excused myself to jump off a cliff. He laughed as I took one large drink and walked off, but I didn't make it to far because I was bumped in to. My drink almost slipping from my fingers and my temper getting the best of me.

"Hey Jack Ass! Watch Where You're Walking!" The man turned around and he raised his eyebrow at me, I was apparently drunker than I thought because he looked a lot like Tom.

"Whoa Celia." He took my arm and through my protesting led me to the bathroom to what I noticed. I sat on the counter and smiled completely out of it.

"Hey I know you." I smiled like a little kid, He laughed at me and smoothed my hair back.

"I hope you know me." He watched me take another sip of my beer before setting it down again.

"Your that guy from the Magazine, You were with that Lost Model." I suddenly realized it was really Tom and that I had officially lost all Sanity I had ever claimed to have, which wasn't much. Tom laughed at me and shook his head.

"Yeah well She's beautiful. I can't help it." I felt an intense feeling in my body and I had to resist ripping his cloths off.

"Tom." I mumbled feeling oddly sober again, He cupped my face and nodded.

"Celia." I laughed slightly.

"Your beautiful, and I really like you. I might even Love you, you treat me good. I've come to the conclusion though that as soon as I admit it you'll die. So I'm not going to love you, I'm just going to like you and then leave to go home in Belgium where you aren't going to be and I'll move on with my horrible ways and maybe continue modeling, if they ever kill me first." I knew I should have stopped as soon as I opened my mouth but I just couldn't stop, it was the alcohol in my system. Tom's face seemed humored and I hoped he was taking this as a joke.

"Celia I think you've had to much to dri-." I grabbed him by the shirt and smashed his lips against mine. The feeling of sobriety came flooding back and all drunkenness remained in my stomach. Tom's hands rested innocently on my thighs till I wrapped my legs around his waist and pulled him even closer, then his hands moved to my hips and he was pulling me even closer to him. I felt like I was standing on the edge of a roof, and I could suddenly see a memory behind my closed lids. I tried to push it away and enjoy the kiss but it was there and very vivid. I was watching the sky next to Jess on the roof of my parents house. My mom and I had just finished discussing tomorrow's schedule and The plan's for canceling the wedding due to Cody's death. I knew I had four interviews, Six photo shoots, one runway show, and Seven go see's, A dinner with my dad and Then a million calls to make. I could feel all the pressure on top of me. I felt like I was under water with a ten ton weight on my chest, Every thing was another hundred pounds added. Jess was rambling on about her phone conversation with Georg, I couldn't really breathe, But I listened any way. I stood up and paced back and forth on the roof listening and commenting and then I stopped and looked at the edge with a sudden interest in it. Jess was still talking as I slowly neared the edge. I drew in a cold breath and I contemplated on dropping over. I had officially tuned Jess out, I could hear only my heart beat and the sudden wind in my ears. I could see the water of the pool and I had an Idea. I walked backwards a few feet, Glanced at Jess and smiled.

"See you." I mumbled sounding a bit deranged and ran, Springing off the edge and hearing Jess scream. I watched as the pool grew closer and closer, The wind felt great whirling past me. I realized I wasn't going to completely make it and a quiet scream escaped my lips. My feet broke the surface of the water but my back skinned the wall and then my head, Suddenly I couldn't see any thing but I could feel the unearthly cold and a sinking feeling.

~Tom's Point Of View.~

I was standing with Bill and Gustav talking about the magazine Rosaline had been waving about. Not really in the conversation simply nodding, as they were stoked about her being the Model that was on the news for two weeks straight. I stepped back as I excused my self to get another drink when I bumped in to some one.

"Hey Jack Ass! Watch Where You're Walking!" I turned to see Celia, rather drunk, Rather pissed off, and looking like she was going to cry.

"Whoa Celia." I grabbed her arm and pulled her to the bathroom, Ignoring her protesting though it was rather amusing. She Jumped up on the counter after settling in a relaxed mood, I had seen her drunk but never like this I was very worried.

"Hey I know you." I watched her smile, not the usual beautiful smile, but a lost, hurt childish smile. I smoothed her hair back and it seemed to calm her a bit.

"I hope you know me." I watched her take another drink, wanting to take the bottle from her and throw it.

"Your that guy from the Magazine, You were with that Lost Model." She looked very aware suddenly and I shook my head, She was wasted.

"Yeah well She's beautiful. I can't help it." I could tell she wasn't just drunk, She was on something else. But Celia didn't do any drugs that I knew of, This wasn't just the effects of alcohol though.

"Tom." She mumbled my name and I reached out cupping her face, I was going to find out who drugged her.

"Celia." She laughed a little bit, Her eyes rolling and then focusing.

"Your beautiful, and I really like you. I might even Love you, you treat me good. I've come to the conclusion though that as soon as I admit it you'll die. So I'm not going to love you, I'm just going to like you and then leave to go home in Belgium where you aren't going to be and I'll move on with my horrible ways and maybe continue modeling, if they ever kill me first." I couldn't take any of that seriously knowing she was drugged, I did how ever find her face humorous as it was crossed between thought and amusement.

"Celia I think you've had to much to dri-." She grabbed my shirt and pulled me in to her, kissing me deeply. I felt a rush of pain and happiness, her legs wrapped around my waist and I held her hips pulling her closer in fear of letting go. She was reacting weirdly though, at first it was normal and then she start to shake and breath weirdly. I knew I should call for help but she wouldn't let me go, her hold on my shirt was strong. I reached in to my pocket and grabbed my cell phone dialing the number and pressing it to my ear, as soon as I did Celia fell limp in to my chest and I almost screamed in horror I hung up and picked Celia up in my arms. As I opened the door Bill turned around, He could see the panic in my face and started to react immediately.

"What happened?" I shook my head.

"I don't Know Open the front door and come with me." He opened the door and shut it behind me, following me to the elevator.

"Is she breathing?" I nodded.

"Yeah I think some one spiked her drink, She was out of it when I pulled her in to the bathroom." Bill opened the front door for me and I stepped out to the curb. Bill stepped out with me taking Celia's face in his hands. I was looking for Bill's car or my car, But I kept seeing her's.

"Shes as cold as ice." He smoothed her hair back.

"I know." I shifted slightly.

"And she's sweating." He wiped his hands on his jeans.

"I know." I shifted again. My heart instantly tightened, If she didn't make it I would always feel like it was my fault.

"Bill Find her key's I think they're in her pocket." Bill looked at me as if I'd asked him to commit murder. "Do It!" He started patting her pockets searching for the keys and all I could think about was how strangly peaceful she looked in my arms.

~Regular Point Of View.~

I could hear a distant beeping. I felt like the world around me had become a room with no windows and the lights were off. I was blindly trying to find the light switch and managing to come up empty handed. I could feel the fear rising in my throat, I was panicing. My body was numb from being cold, my cloths were soaking wet, and I was shaking. Finally my fingers stumbled over a switch and it clicked as I flipped it, It was a few moments before the room exploded in light. I covered my eyes till they adjusted to the change and then I looked around me. The room was so familiar, it was a hospital room. One the bed laid a girl, she was soaking wet. Her lips were a light purple and her nose was red like she was playing in the snow for to long. Slowly I walked over to her, This girl was so familiar. Her long brown hair was wet and sticking to her face, She had a single bruise over her right eye but there was also a deep cut across her cheek. I reached my hand out and lightly touched her face to move her hair but pulled my hand back as soon as I had made contact. She was as cold as ice and it sort of burned to touch her. Stunned I stood there starring down at her, the room was quiet with the exception of the distant beeping from the heart monitor.

"Celia." I jumped at the sound of a familiar voice and turned to see Jess coming towards the bed.

"Jess what are you doing here?" Even though I had clearly spoken to her she didn't seem to notice me, instead she leaned over the bed and pushed the hair away from her face. I reached out and grabbed Jess' arm to get her attention, She still didn't notice.

"I can still feel your touch. It hurts to see you like this, I wish I could of stopped you." She wiped away a stray tear and bent over to kiss the girls cheek. Suddenly the door opened again and Tom stepped through.

"Any thing?" He looked worried and hurt. His face was bruised and cut, His white shirt was covered in blood and soaked with water.

"She's still cold. The doctors said her body temperature keep's dropping, They say if it drops any more she'll go in to cardiac arrest and freeze to death." Tom took Jess in his arms as she began to cry. I wanted to hold her, To kiss him. I wanted to make it better, But I didn't know this girl.

"Tom." I reached out for him and he looked towards the girl on the bed. Suddenly Jess pushed away lightly and left the room in tears, Tom stepped up to the edge of the bed and took her hand in his. I could feel it, I felt his hand in mine and it hit me like a speeding bus. The girl on the bed was me, I was the one dying. I was the reason for the pain. My heart started to ache and I began to cry uncontrollably, Breathing became nearly impossible, And the beeping became annoyingly loud, speeding up and Tom started to panic.

"Celia! Come on, Celia!" The room filled with people and I could see Tom crying.

"Tom!" The doctors started to work, Poking and prodding. I could feel everything and it hurt, Them touching my body in such ways.

"We have to move her to the ER! I Need 50 CC's, Oxygen Over here! On Three Switch To Stabilizers, Two, Three, Go!" Everything became so loud, I covered my ears but I could still hear it. Suddenly they started moving me in to the hallway rushing my bed and even though I longed to stay with Tom I wanted to follow my body. I glanced at him, He was standing there reaching towards the door. With out thinking I ran to him and threw my arms around his waist, even if he didn't know I was here I still wanted to be with him.

"I love you Celia." He whispered to the emptiness and suddenly I felt weak. "Please don't die on me." I backed away from him and headed to the door. Following the tugging sensation I had in my heart, As soon as I pushed through the ER doors the Monitor flat lined.

"We're Losing Her!"

"No!" I shouted my throat suddenly very dry.

"Time Of Death." The doctor stated and one of the nurses glanced at the clock.

"Ten thirty Seven Am." They cleared the room and I walked over to my body. The image before me was beautiful in a tragic way, I looked peaceful and beautiful in a strange way. I reached out but stopped a few inches away.

"It's not supposed to end this way Celia." I looked over to the doors to see Cody standing there. His hands stuffed in to the pockets of his blue jeans and his tee shirt thrown over his shoulder. He looked as beautiful as ever standing in the door way.

"What do you mean?" He slowly walked over and stood in front of me.

"Your not supposed to die yet." He reached out and touched my cheek, It was the first real feeling I've felt in a while.

"You weren't either." I leaned in to his hand and he smiled.

"No one was there to tell me that." I shook my head, all of this was ridiculous.

"I told you! Every day I told you that it wasn't time for you to die, But you did it any way!" He wiped away the tears that dripped down my face.

"I know, and I tried." I shook my head and looked down at my body.

"It doesn't matter any more. I have nothing to live for any way."

"Yes you do. You have Tom, And Jess, Your Parents, Bill. There's so many reasons you need to live." I couldn't look at him.

"They are nothing with out you. I love you Cody." He turned my chin towards him and gave me a half smile.

"I love you to, But You have to live. If not for you or Tom, For Jess and your Parents. They need you, you are an important part of their lives." I scoffed at that.

"If I'm so important to Jess why is she staying in Finland while I go to Belgium?"

"Did you ever think about staying with her? Or are you to afraid of moving to a new place?" He laughed and I shoved his hand away.

"You don't understand." I was beginning to feel very angry with him.

"Yes I do, I understand that because you see me standing here you think that we've been reunited or some thing and that's not what it is. Me and you were not meant to be together in the end. Yes I loved you and you loved me but we were never meant for each other Think about it Celia. I died and it was over for me, You died and you have a chance to continue living." I bit my tongue and starred down at my body.

"That's a lie, It's All Lies!" I shoved him back and stood up. "If We're Not Meant For Each Other Then Who Am I Meant To Be With?" He shook his head.

"Who do you think. Tom! "I laughed turning from him.

"Bullshit! Just go away you've hurt me enough." I sat back down on the bed and stroked my hair, Smoothing it back and combing it.

"Stop being so stubborn." I turned to yell at him but he was gone. Silently I let the tears roll down my cheeks when I turned back to my body.

"I can't help but be stubborn. You broke my heart and now your hurting me even more. I'm tired of the pain, but you don't get it." I continued to finger comb my hair and brush my cheek. With every touch the cut seemed to slowly fade away, I stroked the bruise and it to faded. Even though this was completely creepy I couldn't help it. Maybe Cody was right, this isn't supposed to be the end of me. Still though, Tom and I were not meant to be together we were simply a momentary couple. Jess belonged in Finland with Georg, I belonged in Belgium... No I belonged in California. I took in a deep breath and leaned towards my body, I had no idea what I was doing. I grabbed both arms and even though the cold burned I stayed where I was.

"This doesn't mean you won Cody." I whispered and focused on warming my body, On breathing, and on surfacing from my mind. I focused and forced my self through in an almost painful way.

I slowly opened my eyes, The two faces I saw surprised me. Bill and Tom were to my left Passed out in the chairs leaning on each other. It was the cutest thing I've ever seen and frankly I was glad they were the first faces I saw. I slowly pulled my self to sit up and watched them, They didn't stir or snore but I knew they were dead asleep. I'd be happy with him till I left, which will be when I'm ready to face California.