Yelling Obscenities at You!

After a few long moments with my dad I had explained to him that I would wait for the call from Jess before doing anything irrational and he left me to get ready for my date, Which was in forty minutes. I was having issues choosing between the black strapless I had worn to Franklin's with Tom or a red halter I bought for a red carpet event. I was sitting in front of my mirror in my bra and underwear upset and irritated.

"Mom!" I yelled at the top of my lungs and waited for her to come to my rescue, Five minutes later.

"What?" She opened the door like some one was holding her at gun point.

"I need help, black or red?" I held them up to her as she examined the dresses closely.

"Black." I nodded and quickly slipped it on, she zipped up the back and helped me remove the straps on my bra. I turned to her and she adjusted it, Fixing my bust and hem. I stood still, use to this process, and sat on the bed when she finished. My head fell in to my hands and a sigh escaped my lips.

"What's wrong honey?" Her voice was concerned as she stroked my back.

"I just feel really stressed, I've got a lot of stuff to deal with right now, I don't want another relationship." She sat down next to me and I looked at her once before glancing to my mirror. The girl sitting slumped over on the bed was not me, She looked so exhausted and sad.

"Why, What happened?" I shrugged and played with the ring Tom had secretly given to me.

"I'm not over Tom, I need to be but I can't help but feel like I'm doing the wrong thing. I feel like I should be there and not here going on a date with a man I barely like." My mom sighed and shook her head at me.

"Honey I want you to be happy, I know that if you gave Mike even the slightest chance you would see what's there." I could feel the tears in my eyes, I glanced over to the window tried to hold them back.

"Mom, I want to be happy, I know you think Mike will make me happy but I just can't see him as anything more than a friend. I was happy with Tom, I was ecstatic, He's sweet, smart, caring, funny. Tom's got so much to him, I see sides of him I'm not even sure his brother has seen, He makes me feel so good. " The tears were rolling down my cheeks and I hadn't even realized what I was saying, I didn't hear the words spilling from my mouth. My heart was ripping in to millions of little pieces as I realized just how bad him cheating hurt.

"But..." She pushed me to go on, and I did.

"But he cheated on me with his ex-girlfriend, The girl who used him for money and fame. " I wiped my away my tears and she grabbed my face, pulling it so I had to look at her.

"If he cheated, He doesn't care and you have to move on." I nodded once and looked down.

"Tell me when Mike gets here." With that statement she left the room and I slid off the edge of my bed and to the floor, My knee's resting against my chest and my head falling on them. I cried till it hurt, I cried till it felt like I was dying, until I couldn't breathe. This is the last time I will ever cry over Tom, The last time I will ever let him hurt me, After I walk out the door with Mike I will let Tom go. He's not a part of me or my life, He's just friend. Nothing more. I dried my face and stood up. It was like my legs didn't want to move from this spot, Like they refused to walk away from my feelings. I forced myself in to the bathroom and washed my face, My eyes were red from crying and I looked absolutely hideous. Slowly and completely gone in thought I worked on my hair and make up. If worst comes to worst and Rosaline is hurt to badly I will fly to Germany to be there for her, I will try to stay at a distance from Tom an I Will Not be alone with him no matter what. But if Rosaline is fine then I will stay here and I will give Mike the chance I should have given him four years ago. When Tokio Hotel comes to California I will show them my support and I will attend any thing they want me to, I will spend time with them when I can, What's the worst that can happen if I go to a few shows and some clubs? It's not like I'm going on dates with the band. Besides they are all Just friends.

"Celia, Honey, Mike's here." I shook my head coming back to reality and looked at my self in the mirror. It was like looking in to the face of a model, Fake. I smiled at my self and went to strap on my heals, stuffing my phone and ID in to my purse. I flicked off my lights and went down stairs like nothing had ever been wrong with me. As I caught sight of Mike and his smile I could only think of seeing Tom the moment before we left the hotel to go on the first date. My smile faltered but quickly corrected itself and I walked to his side.

"You look amazing, Are you ready to go?" He took my hand in his and kissed it, I felt like I was going to the prom with the quarter back on the varsity team, and the head cheerleader wanted to kill me for it. I nodded once and continued to smile.

"As long as you're ready." He looked like he wanted to say something but decided against it and turned to my parents.

"I wont keep her out late." He gave a half smile and they laughed.

"Take your time and have fun." My mom was rushing us out the door, My dad was probably holding her in place by her pants so she wasn't shoving us out. I smiled even bigger at the mental picture and shut the door behind me. Mike opened my side of the car and shut it once I was in, I took the time it took him to get in to take a few deep breaths and leave Tom behind me. Once he was in the car he was smiling at me in one of the most amazing way, Of course it was nothing up against...I stopped that thought before it went any farther and I smiled a bit and turned away when he started the car. Mike's driving was slow and careful, I wasn't completely bothered by this but I was at the same time.

"Celia, you look amazing." I almost didn't hear him, But at the last moment I caught my mind from wandering and pulled it back just in time. I glanced at him, He was looking at me as well.

"Thank you. You look good to." I didn't know if that was the right thing to say, I was so used to always joking around, Always making fun of the person I was with. He looked back at the road and continued driving. Sitting in an awkward silence, at least for me it was awkward, we pulled in to a parking lot. Mike got out first and then came around to help me out. I smiled and let him take my hand in his, his cold fingers lacing with mine. I wonder if my hands had ever felt cold to...Damn It Stop!We walked inside and were seated by a short french looking man, who was undoubtedly starring at my chest. I rolled my eyes and followed closely to Mike, I had been to this restaurant over a million times, I hated the food, and the music always sucked. It seems like every date I had ever been on, except with Cody, we'd come here and I would pretend to enjoy myself. It seemed like this would be another round of pretending to be something I'm not. We were seated near the back, I tried to ignore the short man starring so obviously at me, Eye balling my boobs and making me feel uncomfortable. Before I could say anything he walked off and I sighed quietly, Mike quickly filled the silence with conversation, Well it wasn't really conversation more of questions.

"So Germany huh?" He laid his napkin across his lap and leaned back looking at me.

"Yep, Germany." I tried to sound enthusiastic but I'm not sure it came out much more than strange.

"Why Germany, What's there?" I immediately thought of Bill, that was an okay thing, and then quickly I thought of Tom and that was not okay.

"Nothing." I muttered even though I wanted to yell out Everything important to me.

"Well obviously something, You stayed there for quiet sometime." I remembered exactly why I tried to avoid dates with him, He always pried for answers and his jokes weren't that funny.

"No one knew me there, I was just trying to get away." He chuckled at me.

"Away from what?" I shook my head.

"From stuff." I glanced at the menu pretending to be interested in the food.

"Well whatever it is you were running from, you obviously didn't run very fast from, because it found you." He laughed at his own joke and I managed a chuckle.

"Well I have Jess to blame for that." I felt his eyes on me and I knew where this conversation was going.

"Ah Jess, She's got a way with making things public doesn't she?" I glanced at him, Shooting him a warning look with my eyes to back off of Jess, He didn't see it.

"No she doesn't." I said sternly "She has a way with people." I added at the end trying to make my voice sound friendlier.

"No that's all you." I didn't quiet understand that remark.

"What do you mean?" I set the menu down and folded my hands in my lap.

"I mean that you always seem to sweep people off their feet, You're so gorgeous." I put on my smile and picked up my menu, He mumbled something unintelligible and I ignored it for the sake of his life.

"So what made you come back?" I shrugged.

"What do you mean?" I didn't want to tell him about Tom.

"I mean it seems like you were pretty content with Tom, Why did you come back?" I bit my tongue and drew in a breath.

"I don't want to talk about it." even hearing his name in Mike's mouth made me wish I was there, I could hear the quiet hatred in his voice as well.

"Okay." The waitress finally arrived and Mike started to stare at her like I had expected Tom to, I rolled my eyes as he ordered and with much hatred in my voice I told her my order. She left with a flip of her hair to the back. Mike started laughing, I looked at him questioningly.

"You sounded a bit jealous." My foot started to shake under the table and I placed my hand on my knee to stop it. I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs and run away.

~Bill's Point Of View.~

After Rosaline had broken up with me I had crawled in to my closet to hide for a while and cry. Tom had come in and being the ass hole I tend to be I accidentally punched him, I wanted to apologize but I couldn't make the words come out, so I cried in to his chest. The next thing I know I'm waking up in my bed with the worst headache I've had since I got completely shit faced after finding out about Tom and Rosaline. It seems like Rosaline always makes me feel the worst type of pain there is to feel. I climbed out of bed after laying there for what seemed like forever and followed the noise in the living room. It sounded like Gustav was here, Maybe Vanessa to. I stood in the entry way of my hallway and rubbed my face. Vanessa turned to me and stopped talking, Instantly I knew something was going on.

"Bill. You're up." Gustav turned to me after Vanessa had said those few words, The look on his face was filled with regret. I knew they were keeping something from me, An then his phone started to ring. He answered it before it could continue. He didn't say hi, or anything along those lines, but apparently what ever the other person said had made him turn away from me. I caught a look of absolute anguish in his eyes, I began to think the worst.

"Where's Tom?" My breathing was erratic, I had only ever seen Gustav show that much anguish when Tom was severely injured in a fatal car accident a long time ago. No one answered me, My mind automatically jumping to conclusions, not just about Tom but every one not in this room, Mostly Rosaline.

"He's with Georg and Jess." Vanessa finally stuttered. Gustav hung up his phone and hunched over, His back shaking.

"What's Wrong?!" I blurted out at the top of my lungs. Vanessa flinched away and reached for Gustav's hand, Looking at his face with questioning eyes and Gustav nodded.

"Rosaline's in the hospital." She spoke quietly and My jaw fell open. Gustav turned around slowly and I could see the tears in his eyes.

"She was hit on her way home, She's at the hospital now. Tom, Georg, and Jess are there." His voice was wavering and I walked over to him quickly and wrapped him in a hug. For a man that shows little emotion most of the time it was hard to see him cry. I realized after a while that I was crying as well, It was my turn to be the strong one, I had to be strong for Gustav like Tom was strong for me. Even though she was the love of my life, She was like a sister to Gustav, they had been friends since middle school and I knew how bad he was hurting.

~Tom's Point Of View.~

After I was off the phone with Gustav I turned around to find Jess out cold on the floor. Georg holding her head in his lap trying to get her to come through. He looked up at me and shook his head, a pale tint to him.

"What else is going to go wrong today?" It was a rhetorical question but I couldn't stop my self for responding.

"As long as Bill stays in the dark not much. " Just as I said that My phone vibrated and I pulled it back out to see Vanessa's number.

"Hello." I could hear something in the background but I wasn't sure what it was.

"Bill knows." She stated quietly. I pinched the bridge of my nose and shook my head.

"Okay, I don't know anything right now, Make sure he's okay." She kinda laughed but stopped.

"Bill's not crying, Well he was but he's not any more. Gustav is the one in tears. " I understood her laughter and watched Jess open her eyes and rub her head.

"Okay well make sure Gustav is okay and we'll be there in a couple hours, I want to find out what I can." I sighed.

"Alright, Just do what you can."

"Bye." Once again I hung up before she could respond and held out my hand to Jess, a smile spreading over my face. She smiled back and took it, I slowly pulled her up and she stumbled in to my chest from the light headedness.

"Careful, We don't need another injured person." She huffed a laugh and stayed against my chest. Georg once again looked at me with the same look as before. I felt a tap on my arm and I slightly turned around to see a teenage girl who looked like she was going to faint.

"Excuse me, Tom. I know this is random but I'm a huge fan of your's and I was wondering if I could get you to sign my notebook for me." Even though I didn't want to I put on a smile and nodded.

"Anything for a fan." I stated letting go of Jess and taking the marker from the girl. I quickly signed the open page and handed it to her. She smiled and ran off to what I assumed to be her dad, I turned back to Jess an Georg and nodded to the counter. Jess shook her head and went to Georg who leaned against a pole nonchalantly. I turned to the receptionist desk and walked towards it, I tapped the counter and the young women looked up at me and smiled.

"Rosaline Brown was just brought in, I was wondering if you had any idea what was happening or when I could find out what's happened to her?" She glanced down at the computer screen and back to me.

"I'm sorry all I know is that she was taken to the Emergency room, It's going to be a while." I said thank you and went to sit next to Georg, Jess on the other side of him.

"She's going to be in the ER for a while, Should we wait here or go back to Bill's?" Georg looked at Jess, and to me.

"I think I should take her home." He had a subtle harshness in his voice and I nodded.

"Take my car, I'm going to wait here." I dug out my keys and handed them to him, He stood up with her and turned to me.

"Call me if you know anything." I nodded and watched them walk away, Then quickly dropped my head in to my hands to rub my face. This day was is not going well, Did Jess call Celia?Well I guess I should call her and be the barer of bad news, Mine as well considering she probably hates me any way.I stood up and walked out side with my phone in hand, Celia's number on the screen and my finger hovering over the call button. I took a deep breath and called. I waited as it rang, two, Three, Four times and she answered.

"Tom Hi." I let out a breath I didn't know I had and drew another one in.

"Hey, I didn't know if Jess called you back so I decided since I've been an ass hole all day I mine as well tell you this." She sorta laughed and excused her self from some thing.

"Sorry, What are you talking about what's up with Rosaline?" I leaned against a pole kicking air.

"Are you in the middle of something?" I tried to think of what time it was over in California and came up blank.

"No just a really boring date." she huffed a laugh and I suddenly felt a twinge of pain.

"Oh, Well Rosaline was just admitted to the hospital, Everyone knows, and all I know so far is she has head trauma, Possible concussion and internal bleeding. Not much more than that, I'm waiting at the hospital alone." I finished with a sigh.

"Why are you there alone?" She sounded like she was going to jump through the phone and kill me.

"Jess fainted when she saw Rosaline on the stretcher so Georg took her home. And Gustav an Vanessa and trying to keep Bill from hysterics...Actually Bill and Vanessa are keeping Gustav from hysterics. " I started laughing at that with her.

"How is Bill?" She immediately stopped laughing.

"Last I knew he was asleep. He punched me in the mouth on accident, So I'm sure he's feeling a little better." I heard her gasp. My heart felt completely ruined, I still couldn't believe she was on a date.

~Regular Point Of View.~

I was in the middle of trying not to vomit my food up on the floor when my phone started to ring. I pulled it out apologizing to Mike and answered it.

"Tom Hi." Even though I promised not to think of him or anything like that I was very much relieved when he called and I could excuse myself from the table. Mike seemed utterly disappointed in me and I shrugged it off as I opened the door and let the cold air of the night hit my skin. It was December so it was going to snow with in the next few weeks. However the phone conversation ended shortly by an abrupt hang up on Tom's end. I growled angrily and went back inside to continue my headache.

"Sorry about that." I smiled tucking my napkin back on my left leg.

"It's fine." His voice was harsh, I furrowed my eyebrows.

"Are you okay?" I cocked my head to the side and he speared a mushroom and stuck it in his mouth.

"Fine, Listen I think we should go." I set my napkin on the table.

"What is your problem?" My voice was a little louder than it should have been and he snapped his head up to glare at me.

"I don't have a problem I just think that maybe we should go somewhere different, Maybe my place where we can talk and people wont stare at you." I glanced around noticing the eyes that were glancing away, I stood up and rolled my eyes.

"I'll be out front." I walked off as he called for the check and ignored the man at the front trying to tell me goodnight. It was a good five minute wait for him to reach me, We walked to the car in silence. In fact the whole drive to his house was silent. I really just wanted to go home and curl up under my covers, Tom's voice had sounded really distressed and there was nothing I could do for him, I couldn't be there to hold his head in my lap and softly kiss his lips. I couldn't lay down next to him and smile, I didn't know if he was hurting on the outside, Just as bad as on the inside. I love Tom. I love him more than I could have ever thought I was possible of loving him, I hurt when he does, I'm happy when he's happy. I don't care if he cheated, I don't care about the truth of what happened, I care that I'm not there in his arms, Instead I'm with Mike trying to pretend like every thing's okay. Trying to pretend that I don't love a man a million miles away, Trying to act like this life I'm living is the one I'm supposed to. I'm only trying to make my mom happy, And make my dad proud of me, I'm trying to redeem myself as the perfect child, Even though I know I am far from perfection.

"Celia, Are you okay you haven't said a word since we got here?" I shook my head free of those thoughts and nodded.

"Yeah." My voice was really weak, sand full of pain. I could even hear, I could feel it the worst.

"You look like you're going to cry are you sure?" I glanced away from him to stare at the clock on the way it was only nine thirty seven, I could barely see through the tears. I couldn't be around him when I was upset, I tend to do things I don't want to do when I can't control my emotions.

"F-Fine." I stuttered and slowly sat down on the couch, He left the room and came back with two glasses and a bottle of champaign. I watched him pour the bubbly liquid in to both cups and hand me one. I held it up to him in cheers and then slowly took a sip, It'd been a while since I had any type of alcohol. The last time I did I ended up in the hospital, I drew in a semi ragged breath and looked at Mike.

"So how's the modeling career going?" I shrugged and took off my heels, They clattered to the floor with two soft thumps and I smoothed my hair back.

"Fine. I guess." I scanned the room slowly, Looking anywhere but at him. Oddly his house seemed very comfortable, It might of been the cup of champaign I just downed and the second one he was pouring me, or just the fact that it was small and cozy unlike my big house that even when it's so full of stuff it still seemed empty. His hand rested lightly on my bare leg for a moment, I glanced down at it then towards his eyes.

"Mike I-" He shushed me and smiled.

"I know what you're thinking, But if you don't want anything to happen I wont try anything. I care about you Celia." For some strange reason I stopped listening to my heart, The one thing that no matter what will always direct you in the right direction, and listened to my body, The one thing that no matter what paid no attention to my heart and the right things I should be doing. The nearly empty glass slipped from my fingers and I pulled him by the neck towards me. His glass splashed on the couch, Soaking the front of my dress. I crashed my body into his, My lips working fiercely against his to get them open. Why am I doing this, It's not right. I know I love Tom but I can't stop. I want to feel some one touching me, Some one who pretends to care as much as me, I want to feel like a superficial person again. Why? because that's how easy it is for me to get by with all the pain I feel. Superficially living to make everyone happy. He pulled away and looked at me, A fire burning in my eyes for that Superficial feeling of love, One that only I could make my self feel.

"Celia..." I cut him off by shoving my tongue down his throat. He moaned slightly when I pushed him back and climbed on top of him. My hands working on the suit jacket he had on, Managing some how to get it off I began working on his button up shirt and tie. It wasn't that I couldn't do it, I just wanted some thing to pull him by. I slowly moved my hips on his, Grinding them. He held my thighs tightly, Begging me not to stop. I leaned back, Pulling him forward with his tie. Eagerly he came forward searching for my lips, and out of nowhere he pushed me back and climbed on top, His hand running up the inside of my thigh, hungrily searching for my untouchables. He removed my underwear so eagerly I thought he was going to rip them off, and not figuratively speaking. I shoved him back and climbed off the couch, Waving my underwear around my index finger and curling my finger at him, He followed slowly and then caught me in the hallway.

"Where are you going?" He pinned me against the wall, His pelvic area pressing against mine, He was ready, so very ready and I suddenly felt guilty. His lips came down on mine, not giving me a chance to reply to his question. As he worked his way to my neck, biting and sucking on the skin, making it hard to resist him My thoughts became louder and louder and they surprised me. Fuck him, Fuck him over. He deserves to be ruined. He knows you can't think straight, You know he doesn't give two shits. An even if he did he wouldn't fuck you on the first date. I lost my train of thought when a soft moan escaped my lips due to his fingers teasing me, and his mouth hungrily munching on my neck. His hand curled around my knee and brought it around his waist, Suddenly in my head I was with Tom. I let go of everything I had ever tried to hold back, the tears I felt in my throat, and the pain in my body and heart. I jumped up around his waist and wrapped my arms around his neck.

***

I woke up and my eyes were stinging, I wiped my face and realized I had tears leaking down my face. I sat up and stretched my arms, Last night was a complete blur to me, until a pair of arms wrapped around my stomach and some one kissed my bare shoulder. A soft moan filled the room, My heart pounding in my ears.

"Good morning beautiful." His soft voice was at my ear softly kissing down my neck. I froze for a moment not sure of what to say.

"Morning." My mouth automatically responded with out my permission, My voice was soft and hoarse.

"Did you have fun last night?" All I could think about was the horrible feeling in my heart, The feeling that I had some how betrayed my self and Tom. I put on my superficial smile and turned halfway towards him.

"Yes." With that small three letter word I knew I was leading him on and that I was turning in to more of a monster than my manager. His lips met mine and he began to speak between every kiss.

"Do you know what my favorite part was?" I faked a laugh.

"No what?" He winked at me and held my face between his hands.

"Hearing you scream my name." And just like a semi the guilt hit me all together and would of knocked me off my feet if I was standing up, I swallowed the lump in my throat and laid back down.

"Really?" I forced out.

"That and seeing you make that adorable face of yours when I hit your spot." Tom had said something to me about that same face, I closed my eyes and nodded, trying to get rid of Tom's face.

"I don't have a favorite part, I enjoyed every part of last night equally." No matter how hard I tried I couldn't stop my self from leading him on. My phone began to ring in the living room and I thanked god, I slipped out of his bed and put on his boxers and his button up shirt. I made my way to the living room and dug in my purse for my phone, Jess.

"Hey Jess." I sat down on the couch.

"Celia, It's bad." I stood up quickly and began to pace, I knew exactly what she was talking about.

"Explain to me." I thought she was only talking about Rosaline, I was very wrong.

"Everyone is fighting. Georg is mad at Tom, Tom's mad at himself, Bill and Rosaline broke up and she's in the hospital nearly in coma, Gustav is hiding from everyone, even Vanessa. No one is talking to any one with out arguing and I'm so lost. I need my best friend, Celia me and Georg haven't talked in six hours. I'm going insane. " I rubbed my face.

"Okay I'm going to try and attempt something here, I don't know how well it will work but I'm going to need your help." I devised my ultimate plan in less than five seconds.

"Tell me what you need." I nodded more to my self than any one.

"I'm going to get my dad to do me a favor, We're going to fix all of this. Don't do anything, Don't let any one say anything they don't mean until I get there, Do you understand me?" My heart was pounding in my chest and I wanted to scream with excitement.

"Yes." She said urgently.

"Good, I'll talk to you later, Just stay clam. I love you, goodbye."

"Bye." I hung up and gathered my cloths, Returning to Mike with a soft smile.

"I need a ride home." he flopped down with a sigh.