Yelling Obscenities at You!

~Regular Point Of View.~

I had spent the last four days of my life packing for my trip to Germany to save my friends, and I had come to the conclusion that I wanted to give Tom and me another shot. I was willing to forgive him if he was willing to forgive me. Bill never did call me back from that one night of complete distress. I had brushed it off as he was busy. As for modeling and my manager I told him that I had a family member die and I was going to the funeral, He agreed with complete sorrow in his eyes towards my sob story. I heard some one clear their throat and looked away from the mirror to see my dad standing there. A strange look on his face and a pain in his eyes. I smiled at him to reassure him everything was okay and he came in and wrapped me in a tight hug.

"Celia when you left to Germany two years ago I didn't know if you were coming back, I was scared of losing my only daughter, Every night you would call and a wave of relief would wash over me. Now you're going back and I'm not so afraid that you wont come back, I know you will, I'm afraid that you're going to get hurt. An I wont see this beautiful smile, no matter how fake or real, play across your gorgeous face. I only want the best for you, Because you are the only thing aside from your mother who keeps me pushing on. " My dad's voice quivered, and I knew he was crying. His words hit a very strange part of me and put me in a deep state of depression.

"Daddy I'm a strong girl. I have learned so much from you and I wont let my heart break because of some guy. I am going to stand strong no matter what and I will be just fine. I'm only going to Germany to help Jess and Tokio Hotel. I can't let my friend's lose each other, More importantly I can't let my self lose my friends. Everything will be alright, I promise." He squeezed me tighter and let me go, When I looked in to his face I saw an old man, weak and worn from all the years of hard work, I saw a father letting go of his daughter for the second time, and A man who inside had the heart and compassion of a real man. He bent down an kissed my forehead and in that split second that his lips hit my skin I knew his pain. After a few minutes he left and I grabbed my bags and headed for the limo out front. Once inside I looked through the window and saw my dad standing on the front step, My mother was once again absent from my life. I wondered if I was ever more to my mom than just her barbie. I smiled to my dad even though he couldn't see it an mumbled under my breath a quick I love you as we pulled away. When we reached the small private airport I let the driver open my door, watching as camera's went off and a Tall muscular man head towards me. I realized there were four other guys just as big with him and two of them were grabbing my bags. The other three guided me through the crowd of camera's and questions.

"Celia are you going back to Tom?" I stopped and turned to the man. He looked slightly scared.

"No." I walked off with the security and headed across the tarmac to the same Jet that took me away from Germany. I didn't want any one to know about my decision on Tom until he knew.

***

I had called Joe and asked him to pick me up. He responded happily and agreed to be there at the correct time. When I got off the plane he was holding the door open to the limo. I watched as some one loaded my bags in to the trunk and then slid in with a smile. It was a strange feeling to be back in Germany, The place that I had left some time ago.
Joe drove back in silence and dropped me off at the front of Georg's building. I asked him to take my things to my hotel and drop them off, He was happy to do just that and drove away, leaving me with a sudden rush of fear. Last time I had talked to Jess I had heard the guys fighting in the background and she was practically in hysterics. I stood there for a good ten minutes before forcing myself to Georg's Condo door. As I raised my hand to knock the door flung open and a very pissed off Tom stepped out, Completely ignoring me standing there, and called out over his shoulder a nice Fuck you before slamming the door and storming off. I stood there not sure of what to do and turned on my heal but before I could take a step I heard a very weak and strained voice.

"Celia." It was only a whisper of Jess' voice and I turned around to see her with tears down her face and in all honesty I gasped in shock at how horrible she looked. With out hesitation I wrapped her in a hug and she erupted in to a ball of sobs.

"It's okay Jess' we'll fix this I promise. It'll be alright babe." I rubbed her back and stroked her hair trying to comfort her. Moments later she pulled away and I wiped her cheeks, a small smile on her lips.

"I never thought you would come. I can't believe I let them get this way." I laughed softly and rolled my eyes.

"They're a bunch of guys, To much testosterone." She laughed and pulled me inside.

"Georg is at the studio, No one knows you're here except me." I realized Tom was yelling at her.

"Let's get you fixed up and then we're going to the studio and I'm probably going to hit one of them." Tom. She smiled and jumped in to the shower, Talking to me as I sat on the toilet. She told me all about the recent drama and hostility and I nodded and developed a plan to fix this. She told me about Rosaline and Bill and all the things that made Tom an ass. My name coming up quiet a few times. After the shower she got dressed and I did her hair and make up. We walked down to my baby and she let me drive to the studio where the guys were located. Jess smiled at the receptionist as we passed to the elevator.

"Jess to tell you the truth I'm a little scared." She nodded and smiled at me, Looking like her old self again.

"Don't worry Celia we can do this. You're not alone remember that." I nodded with determination and we stepped out an started towards the studio. The door was unlocked and she stepped in first. No one glanced to notice me at all. Georg locked Jess in a hug and kissed her passionately. I smiled to see it was okay between them as far as affections. They stood wrapped in each other for a few more moments before Georg returned to the booth and picked up his guitar. I stood next to Jess taking in the way everyone looked.
Tom's eyes were closed and he was playing with all the passion as he would in a live show, Bill was simply listening with his eyes closed, Gustav was beating the hell out of his drums eyes starring at one point, and Georg was turned towards the wall. Bill opened his mouth to sing and his eyes but no words came out, His eyes connected with mine. In the few moments it took him to realize it was me, I could hear my heart beat and my breathing. The look on his face was one of sadness and shock. Before I could blink he was ripping off the headphones and running out of the booth to squeeze the life out of me.

"Oh Mein Gott!" Was the first words out of his mouth, I wrapped my arms around his waist and breathed in his scent.

"Bill What The Hell!" Tom's voice was full of rage. "You can't keep doing this." I released Bill and smiled at him, I was scared to move. Bill was pretty much the only comfort I had in this short minute, an then he turned towards Tom. His movement left me out in the open and Tom's eyes instantly met mine. A rush of that strange feeling ran through me.

"C-elia."He managed and I nodded. Suddenly I was engulfed in the arms of Georg and Gustav. I pushed them back after a few moments and looked at them individually.

"So any one want to tell me why so much hostility between you guys started after I left?" Everyone began to look away and step back.

"Well." They all mumbled.

"I don't want a Well, I want an answer. There is no excuse for this you guys. If you don't pull it together I may have to start kicking ass and we really don't want that now do we?" They shook their heads slowly and Gustav stepped forward.

"It's just that everyone is trying to get over the pain of you leaving, and it's just..." He trailed off and Georg picked up.

"It's just that we can't. I mean come on Celia you were always around us, we all love you. An then you leave and Rosaline gets in an accident. We're all super stressed with this tour coming up." Bill looked at the ground but spoke up.

"I mean we're down one member to our crew, Rosaline, and we have no one to fill in for her.This tour is one of the most stressful because we're introducing one of our new songs and we still haven't laid down most of the parts." Tom rubbed his brothers back and I nodded.

"Look you guys have been doing this for so long. Bill you're an amazing writer and singer, you have two amazing guitarist and a phenomenal drummer. Laying down parts should be like cutting cake, Nice and smooth. This whole hostility thing has to come to an end, I mean look at you guys, When I first got here I was greeted by Tom yelling fuck you to Jess and then not even noticing my existence, Thank you Tom really." I said sarcastically as he rubbed the back of his neck and turned nervously.

"Yeah like cutting frozen cake." Gustav mumbled.

"You Yelled At Jess!" Georg turned to Tom in fury.

"Look man she was being really irritating." He defended. Bill sighed and rested his head on my shoulder shaking slightly. Gustav was trying to hold them away from each other and yelling.

"Stop it! Come on guys just drop it." Georg turned to him.

"I can't just drop it, I'm sick of him being an Ass to everyone just because Celia went back to the states. He's been on this streak of ruining everybodies day since his life turned to shit 'cause he doesn't know how to treat a girl properly." Georg jabbed his finger towards Tom and he reacted by shoving Georg back. Gustav stepped between them and Bill broke out in tears.

"Fuck You Georg! I'm sick of your know it all attitude." Georg swung at Tom but Gustav stepped in again and instantly fell away with the force of Georg's fist. Tom swung back and before I knew it they were swinging at each other violently.

"Stop It! Both Of You Just Fucking Stop!" I screamed at the top of my lungs and they only paused for a minute. I pushed Bill in to Jess' arms and shoved my self between Tom and Georg. Shoving them back with all my force I managed to get Georg to stop swinging but when I turned around Tom's fist met the side of my head and I stumbled back. Anger getting the best of me I stepped to Tom and swung at him. The feeling of his skin and my fist meeting caused an automatic jab of my left fist and Tom stumbled and tripped over Gustav's leg. I came to a quick realization of what just occurred and tried to calm my breathing.

"If you want to hit somebody then lets go. You guys are best friends, you have been together since the age of four, Stop acting like Testosterone filled teenagers and start acting like adults. I did not fly out here to beat the hell out of some one but if that's what it takes to get you guys to stop with the hostility I Will Not Hesitate To Beat You To Death!" I looked around waiting for some one to say something, when no one did I continued.

"First off Georg you can't say anything about Tom not knowing how to treat a girl. Have you told Jess lately that you love her, or that she's beautiful? Have you spent more than two minutes alone with her awake? Have you even taken her on a date lately?" I watched him shake his head. " I didn't think so. Jess loves you more than any thing and you're treating her like she doesn't even exist. If you really loved her you would always make time for her, and never take your frustration out on her. If you really wanted to be with her you wouldn't let your friends talk shit to her. An if you're really her friend, Tom, you wont yell obscenities at her because she becomes irritating. Second off Rosaline maybe in the hospital but she's still alive, I know how it feels trust me, I love her just as much. But for you guys to think for a moment that filling in her spot is hard you obviously don't know Jess. She is an amazing person and has talent you know. Rosaline will pull through it will just take time, Bill the whole dispute thing will blow over because you guys love each other and I know she wont let you go." He nodded at me slowly and smiled.

"Celia you're bleeding." Gustav mumbled. I looked down to my hand and shrugged it off.

"This hostility has to end, I can't fly out here every time you guys have issues. I understand the stress believe me. I crumble under it all the time but I manage which means you guys can to. You are all my best friends and I don't want to have to see you guys like this. Please don't make me hit any one else, don't make me yell. Just relax and take it all one step at a time." They all nodded.

"Thank you Celia. For the first time in my life I'm scared of you, but I believe it's for the best." Georg smiled slightly, I sighed at his comment and smiled back.

"Now promise me you guys will pull it together and never let this happen again." They all mumbled their promises. I glanced at Tom, He was starring away from me with his arms folded and his eyes closed. I starred at him wanting him to notice my gaze but he didn't, I heard the door click and looked around to see an empty room. I chewed on the inside of my lip nervously and tried to find the words I wanted to say.

"Tom." I mumbled and he opened his eyes and looked at me. There were tears in his eyes, This was the weaker side of him.

"What do you want from me Celia?" He whispered closing his eyes again and dropping his head. I had to clench my fist to keep from reaching out to him.

"I want you to understand. I like you a lot, A lot more than I had thought. I didn't leave on good terms with you and I thought that maybe we could be friends but it's harder to be your friend than to not talk to you at all." I watched a single tear run down his face and it was then that I noticed he was shaking slightly.

"Then don't talk to me at all." He stood up and paused, I was in his path to the only exit besides the window. He walked towards me and when he brushed against me I looked in to his eyes to see a deep pain and many tears he hadn't cried. He walked to the door and paused with his hand above the knob.

"Please Tom." I mumbled trying my hardest not to let my voice shake to much.

"Please what?" He didn't even turn his head towards me.

"Don't walk away." I whispered and turned my entire body to him. He rested his head on the door and punched it once.

"Celia you don't get it do you?" There was a long silence before I answered him.

"I want to." He sniffled.

"You left me, You didn't want to understand that day. I tried to tell you it wasn't on purpose. That I had made a mistake, Not just once but so many times. I was trying to tell you the story and you didn't want to hear it. Now you want me to understand, I can't." He paused and turned to me. "Celia I don't want to hear it. I'm so tired of waking up at three in the morning because you haunt my dreams. I am so sick of smelling you, of hearing your voice when your not even really there. I don't want to go through any more pain over you." I hadn't noticed until now that he was barely standing. I slowly walked over to him, wanting to help. He raised his hand when I was a foot in front of him and I flinched away. His eyes widened just a bit and he shook his head.

~Tom's Point Of View.~

When Bill moved and I saw Celia there I froze instantly. I didn't know if I was dreaming or if it was real. I didn't want her to be there because it was wrong. Now I sat on the couch sorry for accidentally hitting her, trying not to cry, and listening to the silence. I could feel her eyes on me, I knew we were alone.

"Tom." She was barely above a whisper when she spoke my name, My eyes opened and I looked to her. She had a pained look upon her face and I wanted more than any thing to hold her, but I restrained my self to the couch.

"What do you want from me Celia?" I whispered remembering she was the one that had done this to me, She was the one that made me feel so fucking stupid for ever trusting her. I closed my eyes and dropped my head so I wouldn't be able to see her even if I did open my eyes.

"I want you to understand. I like you a lot, A lot more than I had thought. I didn't leave on good terms with you and I thought that maybe we could be friends but it's harder to be your friend than to not talk to you at all." The words she spoke hurt me more than when my father had left, She had caused such an unbearable pain in my body and I never wanted to feel it again. I locked down and braced my self for the worst pain in the world, Walking away.

"Then don't talk to me at all." I stood up and paused, ignoring the urge to kiss her. I walked past her and looked down in to her eyes. She had tears building up and I knew they were from me. I walked to the door and paused once again. I didn't know if I could actually walk out this door and leave her here hurt.

"Please Tom." her voice quivered as she mumbled those two words.

"Please what?" Damn Tears. They continued to fall from my face and I held my breath.

"Don't walk away." She whispered and my head hit the door, instead of agreeing like I wanted to I punched the door to remind myself I couldn't.

"Celia you don't get it do you?" I waited for her response.

"I want to." I almost broke down there.

"You left me, You didn't want to understand that day. I tried to tell you it wasn't on purpose. That I had made a mistake, Not just once but so many times. I was trying to tell you the story and you didn't want to hear it. Now you want me to understand, I can't." I braced myself and turned around. "Celia I don't want to hear it. I'm so tired of waking up at three in the morning because you haunt my dreams. I am so sick of smelling you, of hearing your voice when your not even really there. I don't want to go through any more pain over you." I was having issues standing there and not running to her. She looked completely miserable and she was moving towards me. I raised my hand when she stopped a little bit away from me. To my surprise she flinched away, I had scared her. My eyes widened slightly, I couldn't believe she thought I would hit her. I shook my head and turned towards the door leaving her there. Outside I wiped my face and went to the bathroom down the hall. Once I was safely locked inside I dropped down next to the door and let the tears free.

~Regular Point Of View.~

After Tom left I sat down on the couch and buried my head in my hands. It was my turn to feel completely miserable. Tom had been right about everything, All of it. My phone rang and I neglected the screen. Pressing it to my ear I mumbled hello my mom's cheery voice came from the other end.

"Hey sweetie I'm on my way home, I wanted to know if you would like to go to the spa with me. Get a mani pedi and facials." That had confirmed that to my mom I wasn't anything but her barbie. Anger filled me and I suppressed it.

"I can't." I sniffled.

"Why not? I haven't spent any time with you since you got back...are you with Mike? I should call later." She was rambling and I snapped.

"No Mom! I'm not with Mike, I'm not even in California. If you would spend more than ten minutes at home and actually paid attention to my personal life you would know that. But you would rather spend your time being a selfish bitch! If you didn't have pictures of me all over the house you'd Forget me!" I hung up on her and threw my phone to the floor. Tears streaming down my face uncontrollably.

"That's not true Celia." In my anger I hadn't noticed Jess at the door. She looked extremely hurt.

"Yes it is Jess." I sat back and wiped my face dry.

"I know it's not. Your mom always talks about you, Your mom pays more attention to you than any one I know. She cares about you because you're her Daughter...Her only daughter." She knelt down in front of me and I shook my head rubbing my eyes.

"I don't know. I'm just upset. I need to go for a walk." I stood up and left.