Yelling Obscenities at You!

I sat down slowly on the couch and continued through my texts. Just then a new one came in, From Bill. I opened it and read 'Don't hurt him again, If you're gonna be with him then be with him but if you're not then don't.' I knew exactly what he meant, I put my head down and acted as if I never got it. When I looked up Bill was whispering in Tom's ear. When Bill pulled away Tom had this fear and sadness to him that scared me, I knew instantly I was about to be hurt. I stood up and looked at Tom, bracing myself to say what I wanted to say.

"Tom..." I began my voice a little shaky. "I ne-." I was cut off by a female voice.

"Oh Tomi! I'm so glad you're here baby. Listen I made dinner reservations for us tonight at Franklin's." Everyone stopped and starred back at us, Tom hesitated, Bill gasped, Jess clutched on to Georg for support, Gustav... well for the first time I saw anger on his face. I starred at Tom in disbelief. Shaking my head slowly I let it settle in. I chewed on my lip to keep the tear's from falling but they did any way and I headed for the door. I felt like I had let my father down, Tom's voice came from behind me. I watched the elevator door's close him out, I composed myself enough to call Joe and ask him to come pick me up. I had done my job here, Everything was back to normal between them, I should go see Rosaline but I just wanted to go home. Joe told me he was on his way and I hung up as soon as the doors opened, The elevator next to mine dinged, I hurried outside and waited.

"Celia please listen to me." Tom's voice was right behind me, I just stood there until he spun me around. " It's not what you think, Nona's just a girl. She's not my girlfriend. Please believe me, You're the only girl I want to be with." I shook my head as a few tears escaped my eyes.

"Tom just leave me alone, You've done enough damage to me. Please don't talk to me." I backed away from him and got in the car, once again the door closing him out. The look on his face said I should of stayed and talked to him but how could I when he'd hurt me once again, The same way.

"Take me to the liquor store please." I wiped my face and rested my head on the seat.

"Having your own party?" Joe questioned, with out looking I shrugged.

"Yeah a pity party." Silence fell around us, and I watched the buildings pass by. At the liquor store I bought a couple bottles of vodka and climbed back in the limo. I had never been much of a drinker but tonight would be an exception. Joe sat there idling for a moment, and then drove away.

"Tom doesn't mean to hurt you. He's just never been one for relationships, at least not since his father left. The boy is really a nice guy, You just have to be patient with him." I drew in a ragged breath.

"I've tried twice now with him, and both times he's hurt me. I can't do it any more, There is no possible way to be with him when he just does the same thing."After a few moments of silence I asked another favor of Joe. "Stop at a corner store please." When he did I went in and bought a two liter of soda and a pack of Newport 100's. Then continued on my way, when we arrived I got out of the limo on my own and took my bags up stairs. I didn't even glance at the receptionist, but she stopped me at the elevator.

"Ms.Andrews your father called, He wants you to call him back." I jumped in the elevator and patiently went to my room. Inside it smelled like sex and Tom, Mostly Tom. I set down my bags and turned my phone off, There was no way I wanted to hear from any one. I turned the TV on a music channel and turned it up, Then grabbed a bottle of vodka and took a drink from it. It burned my throat on the way down, But rested easily in my stomach. I took the cigarettes, an old lighter from my purse and my alcohol to the balcony and began a few bad habits. The first hit off the cigarette made me cough, The second was better, By the third it was like I had been smoking all along. When I tuned the music in I heard a voice I didn't want to, their words very distinctive to me.

"I'm Tom Kaulitz and you're listening to our band..." At the same time they all said "Tokio hotel." I took a big gulp of alcohol and then a hit off my cigarette.

"Asshole. I hate you, I really do. You think you're so fucking amazing because thousands of girls throw them selves at you, but you're not You're A Player!"

~Tom's Point Of View.~

"Pick up Celia. come on pick up!" For the millionth time it went straight to voice mail. I pulled myself off the ground and started pacing as I left the tenth message. "Come one Celia, answer your phone. I know I screwed up again and I'm sorry okay, I'm Sorry what more do you want from me. I can't be perfect, just answer your phone. I need to hear your voice." I hung up and went inside. I faced the guys and Nona, Who shouldn't of come here in the first place.

"Where'd she go?" Jess asked, her voice hinting anger towards me.

"I don't know she's not answering her phone. She's with Joe so she should be okay." I mumbled in response.

"Tomi you keep hurting her like this and it's not fair. She's the best thing in our lives and we hate seeing her this way. It seems like every time you even let her close, or come near her she ends up in tears..." Bill trailed off, Nona forgotten.

"You know Tom, for the first time I'm starting to believe that you are a heartless man. You're completely oblivious to her, To what matters." Gustav spoke loudly, almost yelling. Surprisingly his words hit me the hardest. "A career is fine, We do good at making music, But Money, and Fame it's nothing if you don't have that person who loves you in a way that only she can to go home to at night. It's Nothing! I Can't Believe You!"

"Tomi baby, What are they talking about?" Nona surfaced through the voices and I starred at her.

"What are you doing here, Why are you even in my life? I Don't Want You Here! Get Out!" Her breath caught and she ran from the room crying. I heard the door click shut and their silence said enough for me, I had to fix this. I turned and left with out a word and got in my car. I drove around for a few hours until I had worked up the nerve to show up at her hotel, and when I had calmed down I walked to the elevator. The ride was long and quiet, The ding of the doors scared me half to death and with every step I took I got closer to wanting to turn around and walk away, but I forced my self to knock on her door. Inside I heard loud music but no sign of the door opening, I turned the knob and it opened.

"Celia." I spoke softly. The room was dark, the only light from the TV which was playing a sad song. I scanned the room for her. There was an empty bottle of vodka on the floor and it smelled of cigarettes, I searched for her but came up empty handed. I turned off the TV and sat down on the couch with my head in my hands. There was a very quiet sob from the balcony. I glanced over and in the darkness I couldn't see any thing, I stood up and moved the curtains. The sob grew louder as I took that first step out on the platform.

"Go away." Her voice was raspy, and she was slurring. I looked to the corner where the voice came from and saw a sight that no one should of seen. Celia was curled up with her knee's to her chest, A cigarette in one hand and a nearly empty bottle in the other. Her hair was wind blown and she had makeup streaked down her cheeks.

"Celia honey..." I knelt down in front of her and reached for the bottle she'd recently taken a large drink from.

"Don't, Just go away." She cried, and fought me for the bottle. I managed to pry in from her fingers, in the process I was burned by her cigarette.

"Stop this, All of it. You're better than this." I coaxed her lightly as I set the bottle down on the ground.

"No I'm not, I'm not good enough for you, or any one else. I'm just some pretty face in the world." She dropped her cigarette as I brought her to her feet. She fought me through every second, Pushing and punching.

"That's not true Celia. You and I both know that." Finally she stopped fighting me, though she also slightly fell limp against me. She was freezing cold, So I supported her light frame and tried to go inside but she started slipping through my arms. "Come on Celia, Help me out just a bit." She tried to stand and we stumbled in through the door. Pushing me away once she felt the carpet beneath her feet, I held her arms tightly.

"You're Hurting Me!" she shoved me again and fell towards the floor, Her arm clipping the edge of the couch and she let out a cry of pain.

"Come On Celia!" I yelled trying to bring her to her feet but she stopped trying and fell backwards. This time her head catching the couch. By the way she fell with a low thump to the floor and didn't cry I started to panic that she was going to have a concussion. I dropped next to her and started to shake her lightly.

"Just leave me alone Tomi." The way she used my nickname in that quiet voice, The one of a child who was lost in a large crowd, Tugged at my heart. "You don't want me, We all know it. So just leave." She curled up in to a ball of sobs and moans. I smoothed her hair back and watched her face fall in to a sleepy state.

"Celia, come on just wake up. Come on." I shook her again and got no response, Panic rising again I tired to sit her up. "Celia!" My voice rang through the room.

"Mm." She managed and swatted me away, A small smile formed on my lips as her eyes opened slowly. "Was?!" She slurred.

"Stay awake for me, I need you to do that." She shook her head and rested it lightly against my stomach.

"Let me slip away, Please." She managed through her heartbroken tears. "Just let me slip off and forget today." My smile faded.

"Celia listen to me, I wasn't with Nona. She was just a one night stand after I found out you'd gone on a date with Mike. It hurt me and I had to try and get over you but I see now that it's impossible. I love you." The words felt right as they fell from my lips in to her ears.

"No!" She yelled and started to crawl away. "You can't say that to me, It's not true. You're Lying!" She wobbled on her feet and I hurried to catch her.

"No I'm not. I love you Celia Andrews." She slumped against the wall and kept me at an arms length.

"No, No, No!" She shoved me away and slammed herself back in to the wall. She pressed her hand to her forehead. "I'm gonna be sick." She stumbled towards the bathroom, I held her elbow and led her there. She dropped to her knees and began to vomit I held her hair back and rubbed her back comfortingly. Then as if she hadn't slept in years she slipped backwards in to sleep. I caught her before her head smacked off the tile and lifted her up to carry her in to the room.

"Ich liebe dich." I kissed her forehead and left, knowing that when she woke up she wouldn't want me there.

~Regular Point Of View.~

I woke up feeling rather sick. Last night a complete blur to me. I could remember someone touching me, talking but I didn't remember who or even what they said. I wiped my face and the sudden movement hurt, but I could bare through it. I stood up and wobbled my way to the living room. Picking up my phone and a cigarette on the way to the balcony. When I turned on my phone I had twenty four missed calls, Like fifty text messages and twelve voice mails. Most of the calls were from Tom, and Bill, I played my voice mails as I smoked.

"Come one Celia please pick up..." Tom...I deleted it and continued on. "Celia stop being a bitch and just fucking listen to me!" Tom...I deleted it as well. "I'm sorry about my last outburst. Just please pick up." I went through an deleted all of Tom's messages. There was one from Gustav...

"Celia Tom's on his way over, You're not picking up for any one so I know your phones off and you probably wont get this till tomorrow. But he feels really bad, none of us knew about Nona I guess Tom had a few secrets, any way we've all bitched at him so please just try and hear him out. Love you." I started to remember parts of yesterday, The text from Bill, The sex in Tom's car...Their bet, That girl. I remembered Joe taking me to the store and then here...But nothing after that. I listened to my last message from Jess.

"Celia I know you're having a bad day, and you're probably going to be drinking excessively but I just got a call from Dad, I hate to bring you anymore bad news but Mom's in the hospital. She was admitted this morning when she had a massive heart attack, Apparently the doctors don't think she's gonna make it. Please, Please call me back ASAP!" Shock hit me all at once. An then the tears came, I curled my knees to my chest in the small chair . I view my missed calls, Most were from Bill and The G's and Tom, A few from Jess and Then like two from my dad.