I Know What You're Going Through

Rose

Pete has been perfect for the last week.

He’s been missing school and staying here, bringing coffee for all my nurses, and just keeping me company.

But I feel like he’s just doing it because he feels guilty.

I know he feels like me getting beaten is his fault. But I know that it’s really mine. And it’s eating me up. I need to tell him. And I don’t want him to get hurt next.

But I’m afraid he’ll never listen to me and never leave me. And I love how that sounds, but I don’t want what happened to me to happen to him. I love him too much.

Pete was just walking in with my parents. Today is the day I finally get to leave this hell whole. I was more than happy.

Pete sat on my bed while my parents continued to talk to the doctors.

“So you ready to bust out of here?”

“Most definitely, but not in this beautiful gown” I said looking down at my stained, wrinkled hospital gown.

“Well, I think you look beautiful, but I am biased. But I did put some clothes in the bathroom if you wanna change.”

“Have I ever told you how much I love?” I said sarcastically.

“I think you can after you let me help you to the bathroom”

I groaned “Fine.”

I stood up and my legs shook a little. Pete rushed over and placed his hand on the small of my back, which didn’t necessarily make my legs stop feeling like jello, but I felt safer.

I stumbled towards the bathroom and changed into the pajama pants, tank top, and sweatshirt left there. I walked out and sat down on the bed, slipped on my mocs and turned to see Pete staring out the window.

I got up and stood behind him, resting my head on his back. I could almost feel him smile.

He moved so that his arm was wrapped around my waist. He kissed the top of my head and whispered in my ear “Now we finally get to be together.”

I smiled and tried the hold back the joyful tears in my eyes and mumbled out “finally.”

-----

As we pulled up in the driveway of the house, I noticed that Will’s car was in the drive way; that made me happy. He had only come to see once while I was in the hospital. The hospital scared him, so I understood.

My parents got of the car and nearly ran into the house, with my bag in tow. Pete slowly helped me out of the car, with his arm wrapped around my waist.

As we walked in, I noticed Will and all his friends sitting in the den with Joe and Patrick, Joe’s new friend who’s just as crazy about music as he is. It warmed my heart as I saw the “Welcome Home” sign hung over the door way. I just turned to Pete and smirked, he turned the gesture.

I went down and sat with the guys and everything felt right. I had Pete, I had my friends.

But I knew I couldn’t keep Pete, for his safety. And possibly mine. And not that the girls might beat him up, but what’s to say their boyfriends won’t. I needed someone who was no one like me.

-----

I had headed upstairs to grab myself a sweatshirt, it was so warm in that hospital that this Chicago fall weather was freezing.

I was searching through my closet for a hoodie when I heard my door creak open, I turned to see Chrys standing there and my whole body shook.

“What are you doing here?” I whispered

“I live here loser.”

“Excuse me?”

“I’ve only been living here for 18 years…”

“No, I mean here, talking to me, like…like…like nothing happened.”

“Nothing did happen.”

“Mom and Dad have a pretty big hospital bill and police report that says otherwise.” I said pulling a sweatshirt over my head. When I popped my head out, she was standing in front of me.

I could almost see the panic rush through her “You told?”

“Of course, I did. How else was I supposed to explain the five broken ribs, being comatose, and a fractured skull?” I said walking over to my bed sitting down.

“We’ll all say we didn’t do it.” She then sat down across from me.

“It doesn’t matter what you say, they have it on tape.”

I could see the blood drain from her face.

“I’m just glad you understand know. It was worth it.”

“Understand what?”

“That you and him can’t be together. He’s too good for you. You’re just that little piece of shit we left you as in the parking lot.” She whispered in my ear and then left with a huge smile. I just sat there for a minute and let her words sink in.

They were all words I had said to myself over the past week. But they meant more from her.

Just as I was on the brink of an attack when I heard footsteps. I heard a sigh and the bed move and someone spooning me. I turned to see my big brother’s face right in mine.

I put my face in his chest. We looked like a couple.

“I hate her. She does this to me and she feels no remorse. Just fear that she might get in trouble and that I didn’t get the message.”

“I know she’s a horrible person.”

“But she’s right.”

“Excuse me?”

“I can’t be with him. I don’t want him to get hurt and for this to happen to him or worse. I love him too much to see that happen.”

“You love him? You’re not even dating; let’s not get ahead of yourself.”

“It’s not I just love him in that way. And I’ve loved him like his since we were young. Since he was nice to me and let me sit with him on the bus. And if I can’t be with him to keep him safe, then it’s worth it.”

“But you know how much this will crush him? He looks at you the same way I look at Christine or Dad looks at Mom. I think he might die without you.”

“I highly doubt he’ll die. And he’ll be happier in the long run, even if he’s sad now. Even if I’m sad now.” I mumbled out the last part.

“You’re not going to let him even enjoy today?”

“No, I will. And I’ll make sure he’s happy, really happy. Not the happy he’s been pretending for the past couple of years. And then I’ll make it easy to let me go, make it almost his decision.”

“You really love him?”

“Yeah and maybe after we’ve left high school and Chicago we can make it work.”

“For both of your sakes, I hope you can.” He said slowly getting up and kissed my head.

I reached out his hand to help me up.

I jumped up and took my big brothers hand.

It was nice to have him home for once and finally talk to someone.