Love Yourself So No One Has To

He loved her more than anything. He loved the way her long, ebony hair cascaded down her shoulders, framing a slender, oval face. He loved the way her big brown eyes sparkled like chocolate stars and the smoothness of her olive skin. He loved the baggy, flamboyant clothes that she wore and the way they hid every curve of her body, leaving him anxious to rediscover each contour. There was no doubt about it; Alex Gaskarth was in love.

Lately, he had been having trouble concentrating on things because of it. During practise, he played all the wrong chords, at parties, his charismatic charm was nowhere to be found and when playing video games, he always seemed to wander towards a bomb planted by the enemy force. The TV screen he and Jack were sprawled out in front of dripped with blood and Alex was, once again, oblivious to everything around him. The feeling of plastic and gears hitting him in the head brought him back to reality.

"Hey, what the fuck, man?!" he yelled, rubbing his temple. He could feel the beginning of a large, painful bump starting to sprout. Alex reached for the controller Jack had thrown at him and flung it at his knee. Satisfied when he screeched in pain, he lay back down with his arms crossed behind his throbbing head and stared at the ceiling. As his eyes traced along the flawless white paint, Alex felt heat beside him. He looked over at Jack who was crouched over him, watching him intently.

He gave his friend a questioning look, which Jack interpreted as his cue to speak.

"I have no idea what's wrong with you, but whatever it is, you've got it bad."

Alex rolled his eyes and looked back up at the ceiling. "I'm just having a really good day. Wouldn't kill you to get out of your mood."

"I'm not in a mood." He grinned. "I only have one."

"Yeah, horny."

He stood up proudly, his hands on his hips. "Exactly," he replied. They soon dropped to his sides as he stared down at the lanky brunette. Jack scratched the back of his head. "Really, though. What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing's wrong. You're looking at it from a different perspective."

Jack's brow furrowed. "Okay... what's up?"

Alex chuckled. "Better." He looked over at Jack and grinned goofily. "And not much."

He burst out laughing as the guitarist's arms waved in the air frantically. He was infuriated by his best friend's insolence. He wouldn't tolerate it any longer. "You're so goddamn impossible!" he whined. "Party pooper. You're ruining my day."

"I thought you only had one mood."

"Well, you've sure nipped that little problem in the bud. Thanks-a-whole-fuckin'-lot." He sighed, disappointed. "I was happy being horny," he muttered as he stomped up the stairs.

The adolescent remark was too much for Alex; he flipped onto his stomach and cackled loudly, not even attempting to deafen the noise.

"Shut the fuck up, cocksuck!" Jack yelled from the main floor.

"Nah, brah!" he roared out, the laughter dying down. "Shit, you kill me."

"Don't tempt me."

He listened to the footsteps above him walk through the kitchen, past the living room and out the house. The heavy oak door was swung shut and the large brass knocker clanged against it with a rattling thud. It wasn't unlike Jack to leave abruptly and ditch his friends at his house. If you were welcome into the Barakat home, you were eligible for desertion. It was the house rule; simple as that.

As summer air seeped in through the basement window, Alex lost himself in his thoughts. Sometimes when he did this, he could envision the future. Whenever things got tough, he stopped to wander in his own imagination and saw happiness just over the horizon. It brought him a great deal of comfort and he enjoyed those few moments that he rarely seemed to get to himself. It was like everything had frozen around him and he got to be in control of what happened. It was practically euphoria. Lost in a world nobody understood but him, Alex remained absentminded to the world he didn't understand. So when the house echoed with descending footsteps, he wasn't mindful of the creaking they made.

"Alex?"

He looked up at the sound of his name and smiled when he saw who it was. It was her; his dream girl, his angel, his life. He got to his feet swiftly and dug his hands into his pockets as he walked over to her, taking in her essence.

Her beautiful raven hair lay straight, rolling over the curves of her shoulders. A loose, long-sleeved jersey shirt hung off of her body like a soft blanket. She wore straight leg black pants, bare, tan feet protruding from beneath the pants' flare. Her arms hung limply at her sides, as if she was letting him analyze her with the utmost care, as if she was on display for the world to see. Alex stared at her as she stood in front of him, the gentility of her naked face calming him. He wanted to hold her in his arms again. And he wanted to kiss her. He wanted to remember what it felt like to have it all and to feel so safe; they way she made him feel.

"Hey."

She smiled at him and Alex hated how she could kill him just by doing so. He returned the gesture. "Is Jack here?"

"He ran out about ten minutes ago. Probably went to the mall." Alex chuckled. "He's such a girl."

Her airy laughter filled the room as she nodded. "Yeah, sounds like Jack." She crossed her arms and sighed. "Well, that leaves me with some time on my hands." Her gaze met Alex's and he could feel his stomach knotting with excitement and curiosity.

His imagination went into full gear. He pictured her on her bed, waiting for him, her shirt hung over one shoulder, exposing the other temptingly. His hands would caress her skin as if it were almond butter; smooth, rich and dark. He wanted to ravage her neck hungrily, feel her curves against his body, around it. There was so much that she could do to him and there was so much he wanted to do to her. She was so fascinating, so undeniably attractive that Alex's mind couldn't help but wander to the thought of her whenever it got the chance.

Smiling, he walked towards her and grazed a warm, rough hand against her cheek. Coy and playful, she tilted her face into his palm and gently pressed her lips to it, letting the heat of his skin seep into her mouth. Her dark eyes gave him the look he loved to see, the look he anticipated from her whenever they were alone.

Refusing to waste another second, she took his hand from her cheek and guided him up to the second floor, their bodies hitting against walls as they kissed on the stairs, down the corridor and against the bedroom door. He attacked her mouth with a fiery passion and she pushed away for a moment. Alex stared at her, his brown eyes glazed with lust.

"Did you hear that? Someone's outside. What if they come in?"

Alex walked to the window and looked out, watching as a neighbour closed the door to their home down the block. He shut it quickly and drew the blinds before locking the door and walking back over to the hesitant woman. He slipped his hand through her hair and stroked her flushed cheek lovingly.

"Don't worry, Mrs. Barakat. No one's going to bother us." He smiled as he leaned in to kiss her. "I promise."