Essential Hope

“I think I tasted a bit of sprout skin on the last bite,” Fred said, frowning down at his plate. “You’re peeling needs some work, Ron.”

“Oh shut it,” Ron snapped, glaring at Fred; Ron attacked his mashed sprouts with his spoon as Mrs. Weasley asked me,

“Kelsey, dear, what are your brothers doing for Christmas tomorrow?”

I swallowed down a bite of ham and said,

“Pretty sure they’ll be with my mom and step-dad, though I’m not sure.”

“An’ yoo are not satying weeth your brothers? ‘Owcome?” Fleur asked, flipping her long, blonde hair over her shoulders.

“I don’t like my step dad,” I told Fleur, taking a bite of the cooked carrots.

“Like those? Picked ‘em myself,” Fred boasted, smirking over at me.

“Oh, is that when you got bit by the garden gnome?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. George, Ron and Harry burst out laughing, while Fred glared up to the top of the Christmas tree.

Only Fred, George, Ron, Harry and I knew that the ‘angel’ on the tree was really the gnome that bit Fred; petrified, painted gold, shoved into a tutu and topped with wings, it was hideous.

Dinner ended, and now the lot of us were crowded in the living room, listening to Mrs. Weasley’s favorite singer, Celestia Worbuck.

Fleur was making several loud complaints about how horrible the music was, while Mrs. Weasley just sang louder.

I was seated beside Fred, watching an intense game of Wizards’ Chess being played by Hermione and Ginny.

“Yes, I know Snape could be lying to Draco, but why would he? He’s not that good of an actor.”

“Yes, Harry, but it comes down to trusting Dumbledore, and because of that, I trust Severus.” I heard my Remus say.
He caught my eye and smiled at me; I knew the past few months had been hard on him.
As Harry delved deeper into the conversation with my Uncle and Mr. Weasley, I heard Fleur say,

“Oh good, eet ees over? I really cannot stand that ‘orrible-“

“Who wants eggnog?” Mr. Weasley asked, leaping up from the couch and preventing the fight between Fleur and Mrs. Weasley.

I sat, staring into the fire. Could it have already been a year? Tomorrow it would be. I sighed, and Fred seemed to notice my sudden mood swing.

“Kels?” He asked, looking down at me.

I gave him a sad smile.

“I’m fine,” I assured him; he stared at me with doubt, so I elaborated. “I’m just... well… tomorrow will be one year since my dad was killed.”

Fred was quiet, pulling you closer.

“Dolohav killed him,” I continued. “He was an Auror; one of the best… He was just on patrol down at one of the many Auror training bases. He had taken me with him for a little extra training. Things were fine, until one of my dad’s friends, another Auror, came up to him and began telling him how important it was that my dad leave right away. My dad became suspicious, and realized that his friend was under the Imperious curse. When my dad tried to break it, Dolohav showed up. “

Fred gave my arm a comforting squeeze, and urged me to continue. I had just noticed Harry and Lupin were listening too.

“My dad fought like no other. He shot curse after curse at Dolohav, but Dolohav didn’t fight fair. He had more Death Eaters with him, and they all swarmed on my dad. I tried to fight back. I couldn’t sit there and let them kill my dad. I saw one Death Eater, a girl with wild, black hair, shooting the killing curse at my dad over and over.”

“Bellatrix?” Harry asked, his eyes wide. I nodded.

“Yeah. I went after her. Other Auror’s started showing up, but by then there were at least twenty Death Eaters, and only ten or eleven Auror’s. But I attacked Bellatrix as best as I could. I knew a lot of spells, but I had never used them before. I almost hit Bellatrix with the Incarcerous spell, but I missed. Bellatrix was angry, and she hit me with Crucio… after that, all I can remember is pain…”

Hermione, Ginny, Ron and George were listening now.

“I was alerted to the attack,” Remus said. “I knew immediately it had something to do with my brother Michael, who was Kelsey’s dad. I got there as fast as I could, but by the time I arrived, Michael’s body had been destroyed; it was so mangled we couldn’t even tell it was him. Only a few Death Eaters remained, one of which being Bellatrix. I saw her attacking Kelsey, and that’s who I went for.”

“Dolohav killed your dad on Christmas?” George asked.

“Yeah… this will be my first Christmas without him.”

“That ees so ‘orrible!” Fleur exclaimed covering her mouth.

“I’m so sorry, Kels…” Harry said; the others murmured their condolences. I gave a weak smile.

“Don’t be sorry. At least my dad died honorably. I’m proud of that.”

Remus gave me a proud smile, and as another Celestia Worbuck song began, and Fleur’s complaining started up, we took it as a cue to head off to bed.

I hugged Remus as I stood up, and followed the others up to our beds.

I was running.

I didn’t know why, but I knew I had to get out of Hogwarts.

My legs were pumping as fast as they could go; my heart was racing a million miles an hour.

I needed to get away. Something was after me.

As I rounded the corner of the hallway, a low, threatening voice sounded in my head.

“Kill him, Kelsey. You know the curse.”

I came to a screeching halt, my heart still racing on.

“Wh-what?”

“Kill them all, Kelsey. Kill them. Make your father proud.”

I opened my mouth to reply just as several people came around the corner at the other end of the hall.

Fred, George, Harry, Ron and Hermione. The five people I was closest to at Hogwarts.

They all spotted me, and began to walk towards me. Fred was smiling at me. He said happily,

“You’re alive! I’m so glad you’re okay Kelsey!”

George was laughing, an arm around Fred’s shoulder.

“Good to see you, Kelso!”

“Kelsey, we missed you!” Harry said excitedly.

“Oh Kelsey! We’re so happy you’re okay!” Hermione said, beaming at me.

“Hey, Kels,” Ron said. He was smiling. I noticed his hand linked securely with Hermione’s.

I felt my arm begin to rise, but I couldn’t look down. I could just see my friends.

And then Fred stopped walking.

His face fell, and his eyes began to tear up.

“Kelsey?” he asked, taking a step towards me.

One by one, the rest of my friends halted, and stared at me with horror and confusion on their faces.

“Why? We’re you’re friends, Kelso!” George begged, a tear falling down his cheek.

“How could you do this?” Hermione asked, stepping back into Ron’s protective hold.

Ron just shook his head, holding Hermione tight.

“How could you join the Death Eaters? Don’t you care about us?” Harry asked, his voice hollow.

“Do it, Kelsey. Make me proud. Kill them all. Kill your boyfriend and his brother; kill your best friend and her soul mate; kill the Chosen One. Kill your first friend. Kill Harry Potter.”

My father… that was my father talking! I turned towards the sound of his voice, and my heart stopped. No. This wasn’t my father. My father would never wear a Death Eater’s robes; he would never have the dark mark printed on his arm; he would never be holding my dead brother in his arms.

“L-lakey?” I whimpered, reaching out for my brother. My hand jerked to a stop, inches from my brother.

“You killed your family,” my dad hissed, looking down towards his feet; I followed his gaze.

My mom was lying, spread-eagled, on the ground, with my step father beside her. Carson was draped across both their bodies. As I stared in horror at them, my father threw Lakey onto the pile, laughing darkly.

“You will kill your friends, just like you killed your family. Just like I killed my friends. Just like I killed my mother, my father, my sisters… you will kill everyone you love, and then you will finally become a servant to the Dark Lord.”

My head turned involuntarily back towards Fred and the others.

My hand tightened involuntarily around my wand.

My mouth opened involuntarily; the words were ready.

And then, with my eyes locked on Fred, I shouted,

“AVADA KEDAVRA!”

I jerked awake so fiercely I nearly tumbled out of my bed; I was panting so hard I sounded like I’d just run a marathon.

I glanced around the room; I wasn’t at Hogwarts. I was in Ginny’s room. I wasn’t holding my wand, I was clutching my blankets. I wasn’t shouting out the killing curse, I was gasping.

Slowly, I laid back down, my heart racing.

Why did I keep having these dreams about my father? What did they mean?

No, this wasn’t a sign. I was just upset; as I looked at the clock, I was it was 3:55. Christmas morning.

I let my breathing slow.

I blinked a few times, and then felt hot tears rolling down my cheeks.

I bit my lip, rolling onto my side.

“Merry Christmas, dad,” I whispered, closing my eyes. “I love you.”