Status: Taking a break, but I am going to finish this! <3
Trusting Me
I'm Not In Denial, Am I?
I walked home, slowly and on the side streets, so that nobody could see me, unless they looked outside of their houses. I thought a lot about what was just said, and everything that had happened. The things between us didn't mean anything, we didn't know each other. He was lying, he didn't mean any of what he said, he couldn't have.
I ended up on the busy street somehow and there were a few times when the paparazzi would come up to me and ask me questions. Word got around fast. I told them that it wasn't any of their business, and that they needed to go get a life. I was already hated by the paparazzi, but a few of them knew what I meant.
I felt bad when one of the guys replied with. "It's all I have to give to my family, without this job my daughters and I would be on the street." It shocked me, and I started to understand a little of some of the paparazzi, it seemed easy to tell which ones were enjoying it, while others hated it but needed the job.
It was clear that I wasn't going to be hearing from Decklyn anytime soon, and that should have thrilled me, right? Well it didn't, not even the slightest bit. I guess part of me enjoyed the attention for once in my life. But then again, what if it was Mandy who he had bumped into on the street, he would have probably liked her too. I made a mental note for whenever I got the chance to speak to him again I would ask him that question.
I reached my house and Mandy came out to meet me. I then realized that I hadn't given her my car keys, but that she probably stole them out of my bag. She didn't say anything to me; she just hugged me when she finally got close enough to me.
"You heard?" She nodded. Still not saying a word. "Well it was my fault; I guess I deserve this hate from the tabloids and Decklyn." She shook her head.
"You don't deserve it, I know how you are and how you feel about this stuff, and that conversation basically said he thought he knew you, which he obviously didn't because that would have been so obvious." She was making me feel a little bit better, but I still wondered if Decklyn actually had feelings for me. He was so confusing, but I guess to him, I was too.
I didn't like Decklyn, did I? No, I couldn't have, but then why am I so upset about this. Maybe he was right. I am in denial, but maybe I was right and I'm not, I just feel bad because of the looks on his face. The hurt on his face.
It didn't matter anymore though, it was done and gone. Our fight might be all over the news, our conversation might be playing over and over on you tube, but it was done and over with. We had said all we wanted to say, done all we wanted - or at least thought we wanted - to do, and now he could leave me alone and everything could go back to the way it was.
I went inside to take a look at what was getting spread around. On you tube, on any other web page, or on TV. It was all the same, I just wanted to replay the conversation and find out how mean I really was.
I ended up on the busy street somehow and there were a few times when the paparazzi would come up to me and ask me questions. Word got around fast. I told them that it wasn't any of their business, and that they needed to go get a life. I was already hated by the paparazzi, but a few of them knew what I meant.
I felt bad when one of the guys replied with. "It's all I have to give to my family, without this job my daughters and I would be on the street." It shocked me, and I started to understand a little of some of the paparazzi, it seemed easy to tell which ones were enjoying it, while others hated it but needed the job.
It was clear that I wasn't going to be hearing from Decklyn anytime soon, and that should have thrilled me, right? Well it didn't, not even the slightest bit. I guess part of me enjoyed the attention for once in my life. But then again, what if it was Mandy who he had bumped into on the street, he would have probably liked her too. I made a mental note for whenever I got the chance to speak to him again I would ask him that question.
I reached my house and Mandy came out to meet me. I then realized that I hadn't given her my car keys, but that she probably stole them out of my bag. She didn't say anything to me; she just hugged me when she finally got close enough to me.
"You heard?" She nodded. Still not saying a word. "Well it was my fault; I guess I deserve this hate from the tabloids and Decklyn." She shook her head.
"You don't deserve it, I know how you are and how you feel about this stuff, and that conversation basically said he thought he knew you, which he obviously didn't because that would have been so obvious." She was making me feel a little bit better, but I still wondered if Decklyn actually had feelings for me. He was so confusing, but I guess to him, I was too.
I didn't like Decklyn, did I? No, I couldn't have, but then why am I so upset about this. Maybe he was right. I am in denial, but maybe I was right and I'm not, I just feel bad because of the looks on his face. The hurt on his face.
It didn't matter anymore though, it was done and gone. Our fight might be all over the news, our conversation might be playing over and over on you tube, but it was done and over with. We had said all we wanted to say, done all we wanted - or at least thought we wanted - to do, and now he could leave me alone and everything could go back to the way it was.
I went inside to take a look at what was getting spread around. On you tube, on any other web page, or on TV. It was all the same, I just wanted to replay the conversation and find out how mean I really was.