Status: Taking a break, but I am going to finish this! <3
Trusting Me
The Talking Is Done.
I was crying. I was crying and they were thick heavy tears, why hadn't I noticed that when I was yelling at him. Did he notice that, was that why he said the things he said, about how I liked him? This was so weird and I felt numb just watching the damn video over and over and over again on the news and on you tube. It was everywhere. And it hasn't even been an hour yet.
After I watched it for the last time, I decided it was time to go to bed. Mandy and Catherine followed me upstairs, comforting me. When I was underneath my warm blankets with my two best girls beside me Catherine started to talk.
"You know, I do look up to you. And I'm not afraid to admit either, it's just I really like this guy, and I want to live my life the way I choose to. And you should do the same thing." She said this sincerely.
"What do you mean?" I asked confused.
"C'mon Elles." My nickname for my nickname. Weird I know. "You try to make everyone happy all the time. And you stand up for what you believe in, that's all explainable. But maybe you should listen to Decklyn and live your life. Go out and party. Go out and have fun. Be a teenager, because no matter how much of romodel you are to me, I'm going to be doing that when I'm older regardless." I started to laugh a bit; my little sister was very smart. And I forgot at how much of a good talker she can be when she wants to be.
We talked for a bit and then we fell asleep. And in the morning when I woke up, there was a note beside me.
Ellie, I had to leave, I'm sorry, but my grandpa is in the hospital. I'll tell you everything later, but I really want to go and see him. He's always been there for me you know, just like you have. Catherine went to her boyfriends house, and listen, I know you don't approve of him, but she really likes him, if things don't work it out, it'll be a lesson learned, let her make her own mistakes. All my love, Mandy.
I got up and decided to go for a walk down to the bookstore. I had a lot of reading to do, but the bookstore is always comforting to me when I have a lot on my mind. And who knows I might end up at the library.
I didn't take my car, I decided to walk and I brought my ipod with me for some music to drown everything out. I walked down all the streets I needed to until I reached the library. I walked in and the first thing I saw was "Just Listen" I picked it up and then dropped it and walked out.
I was going to go get some candy, for comforting food, when I saw it. The magazine with Decklyn and I about to kiss. Eyes closed lips ready and we both looked so eager and ready for it. I picked it up and read the cover. "Kiss and Fight"
"Um I would like to buy this." I said to the guy who was selling them. He looked at me knowingly, like he understood how I must be feeling. He nodded.
"For you 50 cents." He said. "You are a nice girl, I can tell by the way your eyes light up." I smiled and paid him. He sold it to me out of pity, but I guess I could live with that.
I opened up the magazine and skimmed everything until I got to the part about Decklyn and I. I read it once and then twice and then again and again. I sat on the curb of the street and I never looked up.
CAN YOU REALLY PRETEND THAT YOU DIDN'T HAVE FEELINGS FOR HIM?
Yesterday night Mystery Girl and Decklyn Macavoy were caught by paparazzi just as they were about to kiss. After running from the paparazzi, Mystery Girl started yelling at Decklyn for being famous. Words were exchanged and the conversation was ended with Decklyn telling her to forget about everything. Will Mystery Girl really forget about everything they had between them? It's heartbreaking seeing how perfect they were, and then seeing how disastrous they had gotten later on. Poor Decklyn, Poor Mystery Girl. Those tears seemed to tell us that he meant a lot to you, for someone you don't know.
That was the end. And they twisted things, but they made it sound like the truth to me. Was what they said the truth. Maybe it would be best if I just forgot about Decklyn and everything else, just like he told me to.
And then I saw him on the street, it looked like he was walking towards me, but he was walking towards the store behind me. He was with somebody, a guy. And I knew that I should at least try and apologize or something. So I stood up.
And when he was close enough to hear me, I spoke. "Decklyn, Can I talk to you?"
"The talking is done." And he continued to walk. I guess that was really it. I guess that there really wasn't anything I could do. And when the picture snapped I knew that, that too would be posted in the news papers and magazines as well.
After I watched it for the last time, I decided it was time to go to bed. Mandy and Catherine followed me upstairs, comforting me. When I was underneath my warm blankets with my two best girls beside me Catherine started to talk.
"You know, I do look up to you. And I'm not afraid to admit either, it's just I really like this guy, and I want to live my life the way I choose to. And you should do the same thing." She said this sincerely.
"What do you mean?" I asked confused.
"C'mon Elles." My nickname for my nickname. Weird I know. "You try to make everyone happy all the time. And you stand up for what you believe in, that's all explainable. But maybe you should listen to Decklyn and live your life. Go out and party. Go out and have fun. Be a teenager, because no matter how much of romodel you are to me, I'm going to be doing that when I'm older regardless." I started to laugh a bit; my little sister was very smart. And I forgot at how much of a good talker she can be when she wants to be.
We talked for a bit and then we fell asleep. And in the morning when I woke up, there was a note beside me.
Ellie, I had to leave, I'm sorry, but my grandpa is in the hospital. I'll tell you everything later, but I really want to go and see him. He's always been there for me you know, just like you have. Catherine went to her boyfriends house, and listen, I know you don't approve of him, but she really likes him, if things don't work it out, it'll be a lesson learned, let her make her own mistakes. All my love, Mandy.
I got up and decided to go for a walk down to the bookstore. I had a lot of reading to do, but the bookstore is always comforting to me when I have a lot on my mind. And who knows I might end up at the library.
I didn't take my car, I decided to walk and I brought my ipod with me for some music to drown everything out. I walked down all the streets I needed to until I reached the library. I walked in and the first thing I saw was "Just Listen" I picked it up and then dropped it and walked out.
I was going to go get some candy, for comforting food, when I saw it. The magazine with Decklyn and I about to kiss. Eyes closed lips ready and we both looked so eager and ready for it. I picked it up and read the cover. "Kiss and Fight"
"Um I would like to buy this." I said to the guy who was selling them. He looked at me knowingly, like he understood how I must be feeling. He nodded.
"For you 50 cents." He said. "You are a nice girl, I can tell by the way your eyes light up." I smiled and paid him. He sold it to me out of pity, but I guess I could live with that.
I opened up the magazine and skimmed everything until I got to the part about Decklyn and I. I read it once and then twice and then again and again. I sat on the curb of the street and I never looked up.
CAN YOU REALLY PRETEND THAT YOU DIDN'T HAVE FEELINGS FOR HIM?
Yesterday night Mystery Girl and Decklyn Macavoy were caught by paparazzi just as they were about to kiss. After running from the paparazzi, Mystery Girl started yelling at Decklyn for being famous. Words were exchanged and the conversation was ended with Decklyn telling her to forget about everything. Will Mystery Girl really forget about everything they had between them? It's heartbreaking seeing how perfect they were, and then seeing how disastrous they had gotten later on. Poor Decklyn, Poor Mystery Girl. Those tears seemed to tell us that he meant a lot to you, for someone you don't know.
That was the end. And they twisted things, but they made it sound like the truth to me. Was what they said the truth. Maybe it would be best if I just forgot about Decklyn and everything else, just like he told me to.
And then I saw him on the street, it looked like he was walking towards me, but he was walking towards the store behind me. He was with somebody, a guy. And I knew that I should at least try and apologize or something. So I stood up.
And when he was close enough to hear me, I spoke. "Decklyn, Can I talk to you?"
"The talking is done." And he continued to walk. I guess that was really it. I guess that there really wasn't anything I could do. And when the picture snapped I knew that, that too would be posted in the news papers and magazines as well.