It's Not A Love Song

“We’ll wait outside.” I said to Denise who smiled at me appreciatively.

Something was definitely wrong. Denise’s eyes were blood shot and Frankie was no where to be seen, neither were Danielle or Kevin which was strange for a ‘family’ meeting. I knew I sensed something was wrong at the game, deep in the pit of my stomach nerves tickled my inside as Emma and I waited in the hall outside of the living room.

We could hear hardly anything and we weren’t trying to, they wanted privacy for sure. Usually I’m involved with all Jonas family things, so for Denise to allow me to leave was a major give away that something was wrong.

What was only a minute but felt like an hour later, Joe burst through the door so fast I didn’t even catch his expression. He ran up the stairs at lightening speed, taking three steps at a time. I jumped as his bedroom door slammed.

“Oh my god.” Emma whispered, completely baffled.

I stood on the first step of the staircase just listening to what he was doing. He let out an almighty roar and suddenly we could hear objects smashing and hitting the floor, he was breaking things. Racing up the stairs as fast as I could, my hands shook from fear. I swung the door open and gasped as I watched him throw photo frames and ornaments against the wall.

“Joe!” I screamed in despair.

He didn’t even acknowledge me. I ran up to him and wrapped my arms around him from behind, attempting to restrain him. “No!” He wailed, thrashing around.

“Joe, stop!” I screeched as he picked up his lamp and tossed it with ease, my restraint was no match for his strength.

I had to think fast. I released him from my grasp and ducked under his arm, but not quick enough to stop him from swiping his CD collection and racks off his desk and onto the floor along with the rest of the broken pieces of once objects.

I placed both my hands on his face that was streaked with angry tears, “She’s gone.” Joe croaked out, “Grandma Jonas is gone.”

My heart broke as he pushed my hands from his face and walked through the smashed debris and sat on his bed. I sat down next to him and placed a finger under his chin, making him face me.

“It’s going to be okay.” I told him, wiping the tears from his cheeks and from my own.

“No it’s not.” He wailed, replacing the tears I had just wiped away with some new ones that trailed down his cheeks quickly.

We both swivelled around so that we were lying down on his bed. He laced his fingers through mine and laid his head on my chest, soaking my shirt with tears. I ran my fingers through his hair in an attempt to comfort him, although I could never relax knowing he was upset and that we were surrounded by broken things.

My main objective was to get Joe to sleep, then I could deal with myself and everything around us. It took a long time. I hummed quietly and rubbed his temples, usually it sent him to sleep straight away but it took a bit longer than usual understandably. But once he was asleep, I took off his shoes and pants while still keeping him asleep. I felt like a ninja. Then I placed the duvet cover over him and soon he was in a deep slumber.

With a sigh I switched on the light and examined the wreckage around me. I somehow must have thought if I stared at it long enough it would suddenly go back together in a Mary Poppins fashion. It didn’t.

I trudged down the hall way, peaking into everyone’s bedrooms to find Kevin and Nick asleep, snuggling with their other halves with Denise, Paul and Frankie gone. I was pretty tired and envied everyone who was sleeping peacefully while I had to sweep up the mess Joe had made and put everything back into order once again.

It took me a long time to sweep up all the shards of broken picture frames, ornaments, glasses… you name it he’d broken it. Then I spent ages putting all his CD’s in their respective racks and in the order Joe had placed them in, he was pretty OCD about those things, just as I was too.

By the time the clock had struck 2.47am I was finished and Joe’s room looked practically the same minus the things he had broken beyond repair. I was really tired so I put on one of Joe’s grey scoop neck shirts and a pair of his boxers then tip toed to the right hand side of the bed and crawled inside.

I wiggled my toes around as I got used to the warmth then sighed happily, closing my eyes and drifting off to sleep next to my broke, but not broken, boyfriend.

The next morning I woke up before Joe did, so I quickly slid out of bed to begin my morning. I noticed it was fast approaching noon so I decided it would be nice to make Joe some breakfast and wake him up, I didn’t want him to sleep so much he wouldn’t sleep on the night.

I made him some oatmeal and put a lot of sugar in it, just how he liked, then made him up a glass of orange juice. I carried it upstairs wearily then made my way over to the bed. I placed the tray beside me and sat beside him.

“Joe…” I whispered, shaking him slightly. He slowly opened his eyes, they were a bit swollen from all the crying he did. I smiled at him sweetly. “Hey, it’s almost noon. I made you some breakfast.”

“I’m not hungry.” He mumbled rubbing his eyes.

“Oatmeal, with lots of sugar.” I held the bowl under his nose and moved it about. I groaned when he didn’t give in. “Come on, sit up.”

With a frustrated grunt he sat himself upright against his backboard. I smiled, scooped some oatmeal onto the spoon then jokingly flew it like a plane towards his mouth; sound effects and all. He couldn’t help but smile and open his mouth for the ‘plane’, he swallowed the food then sighed.

“Thanks for cleaning up.” I shuddered involuntarily at the husky sound of his voice, it truly was sexy. “I shouldn’t have done that.”

I smiled at him, I touched the side of his cheek feeling the stubble there. “It’s fine, you were upset.” He frowned, “Now, eat this oatmeal.”

He chuckled at me as I rolled off the bed and onto my feet. “You’re wearing my clothes again.” I rolled my eyes, “I like it.”

“Good.” I grinned cheekily at him then left him alone to eat.

I checked on everyone else who were still sleeping shockingly enough. I gathered up the laundry into a basket silently through all the bedrooms then headed to the laundry room. I placed the basket on the work top and began to separate all the clothing into darks and whites.

I jumped as someone rasped on the door with their knuckles, Joe stepped into my eye line and I smiled. “I don’t like being alone.”

He jumped up on top of the dryer and watched me as I set the whites away then tidied everything up. I walked over to Joe and stood between his legs, “Let’s go to the lake today.”

Joe patted his thighs and shuffled back on the dryer, he hoisted me up onto his lap. I chuckled girlishly as I began to slide down his jean clad thighs.

“Come on thunder thighs!” He grinned at my teasing, he’d read online once that the fans call his muscular thighs ‘thunder thighs’ so ever since I have annoyed him about it. He grabbed my ass and pulled me further up his lap, I locked my legs around his waist with a cheesy grin. “You seem happier.”

Joe pushed my fringe back behind my ear making my shudder as his fingers touched my cheek. He pressed a coy kiss to my deprived lips and kept them there, idle. “Well,” I closed my eyes at the feeling of his lips grazing mine, “I thought about it and, God must need her more. God never does things to spite people, she’ll be up in heaven with him looking down on me.”

I pressed my lips against his. I pulled away and looked deeply into his stunning eyes, “I’m proud of you.”

Joe smiled at me and pecked my lips. “How about you and I go test out those Jet Ski’s I got for my birthday?”

“We have to ask everyone else Joe, we can’t just head off to the lake with the boat and the Jet Ski’s.” I smirked, ruffling his hair.

He pulled a face, “Sure we can! They’re my Jet Ski’s and that boat is one third mine.”

I rolled my eyes at him, “You ask your brothers and their bit stuff’s whilst I go and get ready.”

I slid off of his lap and made my way towards my bedroom where all of my clothes were. I picked out a white bikini then put it on, tying the halter neck myself, and then I pulled a strapless white beach dress over it. I sat down at my vanity table and put on some foundation for safe measure. I pinned my fringe back then tied the rest of my hair back into a messy bun at the nape of my neck.

I noticed Emma was stood in the door way. “Hello Em.” I smiled, looking at her in the mirror. “Sup?”

“Nothing, the boys are all talking and Danielle is on the phone.” She sighed and sat down on the bed behind me. “How’s Joe?”

I carried on pinning some of my hair back, “He’s doing well, he’s accepted it now. Nick?”

“He’s sad but he’s bound to be.” She shrugged sadly, “But the lake should cheer everyone up.” She smiled at me.

I saw Joe wave at the door way from the corner of my eye. “Hey peach.”

Joe grinned at me then continued on his way to his bedroom. Emma stood up, saluted me then skipped out of my bedroom like a rabbit. I rolled my eyes at her then began to pack a bag for the lake, making sure to leave space for Joe’s things. Where ever we went he always depends on me to have space in my purse for his things, he hated carrying things in his pockets.

We all gathered together into Joe’s car after everyone was changed and ready to go. I sat shot gun with Joe while the other two couples sat in the back of his car. While he drove he rested one hand on my knee and the other on the wheel, only ever taking his hand off to change gear.

I snapped a picture of his hand on my knee and posted it to twitter.

Juliharrr I was ridin’ shot gun with my hair undone in the front seat of his car, he’s got a one hand feel on the steering wheel…