It's Not A Love Song

“Can we go on a slow ride that wont make my head hurt?” I pleaded Joe.

He’d forced me to go on every ride that sped or crashed, everything that was a thriller basically. I wanted to sit down but Joe wouldn’t, so this was my way of reasoning with him; go on a ride that stays still almost. The ferris wheel was the ideal thing.

Joe gave in and we climbed into a ‘balloon’ that began to take us up into the fading night sky. He sat opposite me with his feet up beside my legs, mine were beside his too. He gazed out of the iron bars around us and sighed, something was on his mind and he wasn’t telling me.

“What’s wrong?” I asked him, tapping his thigh with my foot to get his attention.

Joe turned to look at me, slightly nervous and on edge. “I need to tell you something. I met a girl.”

I grinned at him, “When?”

“Three months ago… she’s my girlfriend.” I stared at him in shock, my mouth open and eyes squinted. “Surprise?” He smiled and laughed nervously.

“You’re unbelievable.” He frowned at me as I stood up and leaned out of the cart. “Can you bring me down? I’m going to be sick!” I lied to the operator who immediately started up the wheel.

I pulled out my phone and dialled in Kevin’s number. “Why are you mad at me?” Joe shouted, trying to get me to notice him.

“Kev, can you come and pick me up please?” Kevin immediately said yes and put down the phone. I shoved it back into my pocket and jumped out of the balloon and stormed away.

“Jools, why are you mad at me?” Joe shouted after me, speed walking behind me to keep up. “Because I kept a secret from you?”

“Joe we have never, ever kept anything from each other.” I growled still storming towards the parking lot.

Joe laughed, “Come on, you’re just over reacting as usual.”

I ground to a halt and spun around to glare at him. “As usual?” I shouted, “You have the ordacity to come on my dates with me like I’m a thirteen year old girl, scare off all the boys I like, shout at me for going out with boys without asking you but you…” I paused and let out a laugh, “You can keep the fact you have a girlfriend from me for three months!”

Joe’s face was tense, so were the muscles in his arms. “Okay!” He exclaimed, “So about the past you wanna keep bringing that up?” I folded my arms over my chest and glared at him. “What about that time you got drunk and called Nick to pick you up?”

My eyes widened, Nick swore he’d never tell anyone.

“Oh yeah…” Joe smirked, “Looks like I’m not the only one who keeps secrets.” He was insanely smug about his discovery, it was infuriating.

I turned away from him when a set of headlights beamed behind me onto my back and Joe’s angry face. Kevin was faintly visible in the driver’s seat with Nick in the passengers, I scurried over to the car and climbed into the back of Kevin’s Hybrid leaving Joe in the parking lot.

Nick and Kevin sensed I didn’t want to talk about it so we drove home in a silent and deadly atmosphere. Once we pulled up to the house I climbed out the car and stormed inside.

“Kids, dinner will be ready in five!” Denise called upon hearing my entrance.

“Thanks Denise!” I called back, she at least deserved an answer from me. She’d let me into her home, looked after me and helped my mother through the loss of my dad.

Losing him was not something I talked about often. Though, like many people, I tried to push it to the back of my mind he was always there. Every time that I did something I thought of him, back to the times we’d sit in the garden and he’d joke about Joe and I falling in love and how he was my Prince Charming… my dad wanted the best for me and he was sure Joe was it. Well guess who’s laughing now daddy?

I had a sudden idea come to mind for a song.

I wrote songs a lot, I wasn’t an amazing singer; I could carry a tune but nothing special. I just wrote because I’m too lazy to keep a diary.

Daddy’s Song (Oh my, my, my)

She said, I was seven and you were nine,
I looked at you like the stars that shined in the sky, the pretty lights.
And our daddy’s used to joke about the two of us, growing up and falling in love,
And our mama’s smiled, and rolled their eyes and said;
“Oh my, my , my….”

“Juliana, dinner!” My mom called through the house.

I placed my pen in the middle of the page and closed the book; I’d return to it later. I ventured downstairs, checking to make sure I didn’t run into Joe on the way. I finally got to the grand dining room where I took a seat between Nick and Frankie with Joe opposite me, one seat to the left.

We all joined hands and said grace then tucked into the steak and veg meal that Denise and my mom had made. I put some potatoes and carrots on my plate then settled down to eat where as Frankie and Nick piled their plates to toppling proportions.

“Are you really going to eat all that?” I asked Nick, astonished at the amount on his plate.

He smiled, “Yup.”

I rolled my eyes and shoved some carrot into my mouth. Frankie ended up elbowing me in his attempt to cut up his steak, I smiled at his efforts. “Here Frank let me help you.”

“He can cut his own meat.” Joe mumbled loudly from across the table.

I clenched my teeth and replied, “Obviously not Joseph.”

“I’m sure he would have told you if he wanted you to know he couldn’t cut his meat.” Joe retorted with narrow eyes.

He was hinting to our earlier argument. I dropped my fork and glared at him, “But I could see he was struggling to cut his meat. Frank is always one to let someone know when something is up, he can’t keep secrets.”

Joe dropped his fork in return. I barely noticed the whole family had stopped to observe us. Joe had a smug look on his face as he leaned across the table to reply to me. “Much like your most trusted Nicholas.”

“Joseph!” Denise screeched, setting Paul into Dad mode.

Paul hit his hand off the table, rattling the cutlery and grabbing everyone’s attention, even mine and Joe’s. “What is going on with you two?” He exclaimed.

Joe and I both set off into loud explanations of our stories, both our words so jumbled up nothing could be made out. We were constantly trying to be louder than one another, it kept going like this until Paul interrupted again.

“That’s it!” He shouted making Frankie and Nick both jump beside me. “You two have been friends since you were in diapers; now get your acts together! This is ridiculous.”

All was quiet, my mother had her elbows up on the table with her head resting on her hands as she rubbed her temples. Denise’s motherly voice finally spoke up, “Joseph, you need to realise that Juliana isn’t the little girl you used to see. She doesn’t need you to protect her anymore, it’s all up to her not you.”

Joe rolled his eyes and looked at the wall to his right. “And Juliana…” my mother started with a stern look on her face, but I wasn’t paying attention as I had a melody in my head for this new song so I focused on it, not willing to let it slip my mind. “You need to give yourself an attitude check young lady.”

“Can I be excused?” I asked hopefully. Paul nodded at me and I raced away from the table and down to the music room.

I grabbed an acoustic guitar and played the first verse then improvised some lyrics for the chorus.

“Take me back to the house in the backyard tree,
Said you’d beat me up, you were bigger than me,
You never did, you never did.
Take me back when our world was one block wide.
I dare you to kiss me and ran when you tried,
Just two kids, you and I.
Oh my, my, my ,my…”

I scribbled that down onto a notebook that was lying around the cream coloured room then did a rough draft of a second verse. It was still sketchy but it could be altered if needs be. I picked up my plectrum and sung the second verse to my self.

“I was sixteen when suddenly
I wasn't that little girl you used to see
But your eyes still shined like pretty lights
And our daddies used to joke about the two of us
They never believed we'd really fall in love
And our mamas smiled and rolled their eyes
And said oh my my my...”

I put down the guitar and left the room, switching off the lights as I went.