Have You Ever Felt Alone In A Crowded Room?

I hate it here.

That's generally what runs through my head everyday. It's the only thing I've thought about for the last three and a half years I've been living here. The only person that makes it worthwhile is my best friend, Jacoby.

Jacoby's into being outdoors and riding horses. I've never seen anyone with as much physical and mental strength as that little girl. She never stops smiling, and can always get a laugh out of the most miserable person.

That miserable person is me, Dahlia, and the complete opposite of Jacoby. I hate the sun as much as any vampire, and I write stories and poetry in the great indoors. I'm not strong at all, and I don't know a night when I don't cry myself to sleep. But Jacoby's been the one constant person that's stuck by me through everything, from when I wanted to kill myself to helping me cover up and heal the scars on my arms.

Okay, sorry for being so depressing. I can't help it. Today I'm actually kind of happy. I'm 18 now, and I've decided to move out of my parent's house and drop out of high school. I just don't really give a fuck about school anymore, and my parents are hoping I become a doctor or something useful.

My parents freaked when I told them I wanted to be a singer in a band. That was when I was 15, and when I decided I'd take the chance to move out. We argued, there was a lot of yelling and cussing, but they gave up once they realized they couldn't stop me. I just had to get past Jacoby...
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"So you're leaving tomorrow?"

"Yeah. I just want to hurry up and get the hell out of here."

Jacoby was there with me in my room helping me pack. I felt bad that I was leaving her behind, but I couldn't stand being here anymore.

"I'm gonna miss you, Dahlia."

I dropped whatever was in my hands and hugged her tightly.

"I'll miss you too...Jackie. But it's not like you'll never see me again."

It's not often I'm that optimistic...

"I know you hate it here, and you hate your parents, but why else are you leaving?"

"Because...way too much shit's happened here that I can't forget. You remember...the bullying, the suicide attempt...I just want to start over."

"You won't kill yourself when you leave, right?"

"No. I'm not suicidal anymore. Just...depressed. Maybe once I'm out of here, I'll feel better."

"I'll come see you once I'm done with school. Better yet, I'll move in with you."

"Why not? Would your parents be cool with it?"

"Yeah, and they know how tight we are."

"So it's a promise?"

"It's a promise. When I'm done with school, I'll come see you. Where are you going, anyway?"

"Belleville, New Jersey."

"Why there?"

"I've always wanted to go to Jersey. Don't know why."

She smiled a little when she said "Is it because our favorite band's from there?"

"Sort of."

"Say hi to them for me, if you meet them."

"I'll be sure to do that."

After Jacoby went quiet for a bit, I said to her "Don't be miserable cause of me. Keep smiling."

"I always do. You're the one that needs to smile more."

"I know, and I'm trying."

Jacoby joked "And you need to get out in the sun more. I think you have a vitamin-D deficiency problem."

"I get plenty of vitamins, thank you. You should stay out of the sun to avoid cancer."

The rest of the night we talked and kept each other awake. I was going to miss this a lot...