Have You Ever Felt Alone In A Crowded Room?

“And it kills me not to know this but I’ve all just forgotten what the colors of her eyes were and the scars and how she them,” The opening lines to “Savior” by Rise Against rang out as I turned on my car, ready to start my drive to New Jersey. It was going to be a long drive.

Music as my companion and barely half a tank of gas, I drove away from my home and everything that I’d ever known for an adventure that had to have some kind of something in store for me.

I thought a lot on the long drive there. Mostly I thought about how Dahlia and I met and everything that we’d been through.

We met at a party that a friend of mine was throwing. She was there to get away from her parents. I went because I needed to get out of my house. My mom had brought home another guy. Drowning her sorrows with liquor and random sex. It was hard knowing that she was suffering like she was, but it was harder to know that she was slowly destroying what life she had left. I also hurt me that she felt so distant from me and didn’t even seem to care.

The night I met Dahlia, though, I felt like I finally had someone to talk to again. A true friend that I knew was always going to be there. And that’s not to say that Danny wasn’t an amazing friend as well. It’s just that Dahlia was something that clicked and it was one of those clicks like an industrial strength magnet that needed acid or something to break the bond.

That night, things it had taken years for me to tell Danny just came spilling out of my mouth that it was the most natural thing in the world. There were things that I didn’t think most people would understand and I was afraid to tell anyone that I told her and she understood them perfectly. What pinky promises really meant and the meaning of life. It was our chance of a lifetime with a friendship that would last a lifetime.

We talked about all the music that we were into. Everything from The Used to Abba. It was really quite entertaining to talk to someone like her. I was glad that I’d met her. She was my reason to smile. My reason to live. If it was one thing that I hated it was hypocrites and people who broke their promises.

It was that night that I told her that hope was there and it was meant for her. It was there for the taking and all she had to do was reach out and take it. I may have been down in the dumps depressed and wanted to die. But I wasn’t going to be the one to tell her to grab onto the hope in front of her and just drop all the hope that was in front of me.

I was awaken from my thoughts when I looked down at how much gas I had left and realized it was almost none. I immediately started looking for the nearest gas station. It ended up being a little run down Mom and Pop type shop. They even had someone that pumped your gas for you. It was the Pop in Mom and Pop. He was a very sweet old man, and if it wasn’t for the fact that I had to get to Jersey I probably would have stayed there and talked to him all day.

Before I drove off he told me something: “Don’t let the world get you down. You’ve got so much to live for.” I’d never had someone tell me something so obvious yet so profound at the same time. It’s one of those things that you know but it takes someone telling you that you finally realize it.

By the time I got to New Jersey, it had been far too long of a drive and I just wanted to crash. Thankfully Dahlia’s apartment complex was easy to find. As was her apartment.

I gently knocked on her door and waited for her to answer.

“Jacoby?” She said it like she didn’t believe it.

“Hey, Dali. It’s been forever.” I said quietly.

“Too long of an eternity.” She said right before hugging me tightly

“God, I missed you,” I sighed as I let go of her.

“I missed you too,” She sighed as well.

I heard someone clear their throat from across the room. I looked up and saw the one and only Frank Iero with the World’s most adorable grey fluff ball ever.

“HOLY POOP!!” I squealed. He braced himself for a bone crushing hug. “PUPPY!” Dahlia laughed as I picked the puppy up off of Frank’s lap.

“And I thought you said that she was a huge MCR fan… I’m not feeling the love…” He said jokingly.

“Eh, you aren’t as cute as this little guy!” I said scratching the puppy behind the ears.

He scoffed. Dahlia and I laughed.

“Have you ever wondered why laugh is spelled like it is?” I asked out of nowhere one we were finished laughing.

“Um… No?” Frank said.

“Jake… you’re half crazy…” Dahlia said taking the puppy away from me.

“But I want the puppy… Wait… what’s her name?”

“Snowball.” Frank said proudly.

“That’s such a creative name…” I laughed.

“Hey! What’s wrong with that name?”

“Nothin’…”

“You don’t like it… Why don’t you try to come up with something better then?”

“Quillan. It means cub. And she looks like a little bear cub. Or Pixie… like The Pixies or just the little fairy.”

“Why not Pixie? The kitten’s name is Mage,” Dahlia said pointing to a little kitten curled up in a ball next to her bed.

“Okay,” both Frank and I shrugged.

“Soo… when do I get to meet everyone else?” I asked after a moment of silence.

“Well, not tonight because you’re getting ready to pass out as it is…” Dahlia said pointing me towards the couch.

“Yes ma’am… Tomorrow though!” I said lying down and closing my eyes.

“Tomorrow,” Dahlia said back.