For Better or for Worse
My Torn Out Heart
DIE’S POV:
“I’m the one who fucking loves you Aie!”
“…You have an interesting way of showing it.”
“Ouch. She said that?” Kyo responds after, hardly, paying attention to my predicament.
“Yeah. Why else would I be here?” I grumble, slouching further into his comfortable leather sofa.
“True. Well what happened after that?” He inquires, picking at his short fingernails.
“That was it. I just stormed out. And here I am.” I huff, palms kneading through my mess of hair.
“Oh.”
“Yeah.” I knew I should’ve gone to Shinya. Or Kaoru. But of course they weren’t home. And Toshiya would be my last choice. He just tell me to go fuck her and all will be well.
“Nonononono!!!” I hear a female voice pleading as something small and furry hops out from Kyo’s bedroom, followed by a hunched and flustered Ari.
“What the hell is that?” Kyo exclaims, glaring at the woman who scoops the creature up to her chest, trying her hardest to hide the tiny thing.
“Nothing!” She lies, turning to find me, a questionable look on my face. “Oh hey Die. What’s up?!” She beams, obviously trying to switch the subject when the animal tries leaping from her grasp.
“Ari, what the fuck?!” Kyo repeats, obviously angered.
“But Kyoooo!!! It’s so cute! And just sitting out there in the cold, no mommy or brothers and sisters!!!” She whines, petting the…bunny?
“No means no woman! Now go put it back out there before your damn cat eats it!”
“Tobi is not a damn cat! You take that back!” She tuts. Well this is a first.
“Yes he is. Now go put the rabbit back. It’s probably infested with fleas and worms.” Kyo grumbles.
“No he’s not! I gave him a bath!”
“Dammit woman!”
“Come on Toohru…Kyo just doesn’t understand.” She whimpers to the bunny.
“What the hell did you call it?!” But before he can get the final word in, she disappears back into the bedroom.
“Ah young love.” I tease.
“Fuck you and your parents Die.” He snarls.
“What do my parents have to do with anything?”
“They made you.” He grumbles, falling back into the couch. This guy is totally whipped.
XOXOXOX
AIE’S POV:
So is that it? Do I need to start packing? It’s not as if he’s even here for me to ask…maybe I got carried away. Still, Die said some hurtful things. Kanon cares about me, I know it. We’ve been together for months…almost a year. And yet…choking back tears, I stumble into the bathroom, ridding myself of whatever I managed to eat. Lately, I’ve had no appetite. I know it’s no good for the baby…but neither am I. I’m not fit to raise her. Kanon was right, and now it’s too late. Why didn’t I just listen to him then? I wouldn’t be in this mess. I wouldn’t be alone in the bathroom right now, puking my guts out and bawling my eyes out. I wouldn’t even be here, I wouldn’t know Die…and I wouldn’t be in love with him. And I wouldn’t have lost him.
“I feel like shit.” I mutter to myself, backing away from the toilet to brush my teeth. “Ugh…I look it too…and smell it.” Mechanically, I move to fill the tub, stripping myself of clothing before stepping into the warm bathwater, tears still staining my face. I just need to lose myself for now. Sighing, I close my eyes, focusing on absolutely nothing, numbness and a heavy feeling taking over my body, dark finally enclosing. The heat engulfs me entirely, but I’m too relaxed to care. I’ve never felt so stress free. I could get used to this.
DIE’S POV:
Of course I forgot my godamn phone. Could my life suck anymore than it does right now? Reluctantly, I turn the key in the lock letting the door swing open and trudging inside. It’s cold out there, not that it’s any better in here. Sighing, I shuffle throughout the livingroom hunting down the hellish device before turning to the bedroom. I haven’t run into her yet, but I know she’s here. She always locks the door when she’s home and pissed.
“Aie? Are you in here?” No answer, not that she would anyway. It’s funny, asking permission to enter my own home, my own bedroom. She’s become a part of my life so easily. And now I feel like I’ve been kicked from that. It’s not my life anymore…it’s hers. Grunting, I find my phone on the bedside table, exactly where I knew I would’ve left it. Now I can get the hell out of here. Turning to leave, light seeping under the bathroom door catches my eye. So that’s where she is…but there’s no sound. No running water, no splashing, no muttering, no singing. She always sings in the shower. So of course, curiosity gets the best of me. “Aie? You in there? I’m worried.” I mutter. Again, no answer. Now I’m worried. Where else would she be? She doesn’t use the guest rooms. “Aie? Aie! I’m coming in!” I exclaim, stumbling through the doorway to an empty bathroom.
“What the hell are you doing? You’re so noisy.” Her cranky voice mutters from behind. I whip around, taking in her appearance. Messy blond hair, blood shot and itchy eyes, short polka dot shorts displaying her long and delicate legs, and one of my tanks barely holding in her enormous…stomach. That’s what I meant to say. She rubs her eye, waiting for my response. Yet, all I can do is gawk. I thought she’d hurt herself, slipped in the tub and was bleeding out. I don’t know what I thought, all I know is that she’s here, and I was this close to losing her.
“Aie.” I choke, quickly wrapping her chilling body in my embrace. “I’m sorry…I just…I thought I’d lost you. I-I…”
“Die, calm down. You’re not making any sense.” She smiles to herself, her fingers dancing along my back. I hold her tighter, thinking absolutely nothing. Eventually, her arms move to hold me tight as well.
XOXOXOX
AIE’S POV:
So that’s it. All is well? I still feel guilty…and I don’t know what to do. He smiles at me with that gentle one, his eyes full of generosity and warmth. I always want him to smile like this. I want to show him that I do care, even though I can’t. I can’t involve myself with him. I have Kanon, this baby’s father. He wants to be with me…they both do. And I, unfortunately, want to be with both of them. But you can’t always have what you want. You have to lose in order to gain.
“I’ll be back Aie. I left something in my car.” He states, quickly moving to the door, leaving my side at the couch. We’ve been watching infomercials on tv. Why? Well why not?
“Kay. I’ll be here.” I nod, and he rolls his eyes, disappearing outside. Turning my attention back to the television, I make myself more comfortable on the couch. That’s when I hear it, a sickening screech and dull thud, the crunching of precious parts and my heart being torn in half. “Die?” I whimper, not that he can hear me.
“I’m the one who fucking loves you Aie!”
“…You have an interesting way of showing it.”
“Ouch. She said that?” Kyo responds after, hardly, paying attention to my predicament.
“Yeah. Why else would I be here?” I grumble, slouching further into his comfortable leather sofa.
“True. Well what happened after that?” He inquires, picking at his short fingernails.
“That was it. I just stormed out. And here I am.” I huff, palms kneading through my mess of hair.
“Oh.”
“Yeah.” I knew I should’ve gone to Shinya. Or Kaoru. But of course they weren’t home. And Toshiya would be my last choice. He just tell me to go fuck her and all will be well.
“Nonononono!!!” I hear a female voice pleading as something small and furry hops out from Kyo’s bedroom, followed by a hunched and flustered Ari.
“What the hell is that?” Kyo exclaims, glaring at the woman who scoops the creature up to her chest, trying her hardest to hide the tiny thing.
“Nothing!” She lies, turning to find me, a questionable look on my face. “Oh hey Die. What’s up?!” She beams, obviously trying to switch the subject when the animal tries leaping from her grasp.
“Ari, what the fuck?!” Kyo repeats, obviously angered.
“But Kyoooo!!! It’s so cute! And just sitting out there in the cold, no mommy or brothers and sisters!!!” She whines, petting the…bunny?
“No means no woman! Now go put it back out there before your damn cat eats it!”
“Tobi is not a damn cat! You take that back!” She tuts. Well this is a first.
“Yes he is. Now go put the rabbit back. It’s probably infested with fleas and worms.” Kyo grumbles.
“No he’s not! I gave him a bath!”
“Dammit woman!”
“Come on Toohru…Kyo just doesn’t understand.” She whimpers to the bunny.
“What the hell did you call it?!” But before he can get the final word in, she disappears back into the bedroom.
“Ah young love.” I tease.
“Fuck you and your parents Die.” He snarls.
“What do my parents have to do with anything?”
“They made you.” He grumbles, falling back into the couch. This guy is totally whipped.
XOXOXOX
AIE’S POV:
So is that it? Do I need to start packing? It’s not as if he’s even here for me to ask…maybe I got carried away. Still, Die said some hurtful things. Kanon cares about me, I know it. We’ve been together for months…almost a year. And yet…choking back tears, I stumble into the bathroom, ridding myself of whatever I managed to eat. Lately, I’ve had no appetite. I know it’s no good for the baby…but neither am I. I’m not fit to raise her. Kanon was right, and now it’s too late. Why didn’t I just listen to him then? I wouldn’t be in this mess. I wouldn’t be alone in the bathroom right now, puking my guts out and bawling my eyes out. I wouldn’t even be here, I wouldn’t know Die…and I wouldn’t be in love with him. And I wouldn’t have lost him.
“I feel like shit.” I mutter to myself, backing away from the toilet to brush my teeth. “Ugh…I look it too…and smell it.” Mechanically, I move to fill the tub, stripping myself of clothing before stepping into the warm bathwater, tears still staining my face. I just need to lose myself for now. Sighing, I close my eyes, focusing on absolutely nothing, numbness and a heavy feeling taking over my body, dark finally enclosing. The heat engulfs me entirely, but I’m too relaxed to care. I’ve never felt so stress free. I could get used to this.
DIE’S POV:
Of course I forgot my godamn phone. Could my life suck anymore than it does right now? Reluctantly, I turn the key in the lock letting the door swing open and trudging inside. It’s cold out there, not that it’s any better in here. Sighing, I shuffle throughout the livingroom hunting down the hellish device before turning to the bedroom. I haven’t run into her yet, but I know she’s here. She always locks the door when she’s home and pissed.
“Aie? Are you in here?” No answer, not that she would anyway. It’s funny, asking permission to enter my own home, my own bedroom. She’s become a part of my life so easily. And now I feel like I’ve been kicked from that. It’s not my life anymore…it’s hers. Grunting, I find my phone on the bedside table, exactly where I knew I would’ve left it. Now I can get the hell out of here. Turning to leave, light seeping under the bathroom door catches my eye. So that’s where she is…but there’s no sound. No running water, no splashing, no muttering, no singing. She always sings in the shower. So of course, curiosity gets the best of me. “Aie? You in there? I’m worried.” I mutter. Again, no answer. Now I’m worried. Where else would she be? She doesn’t use the guest rooms. “Aie? Aie! I’m coming in!” I exclaim, stumbling through the doorway to an empty bathroom.
“What the hell are you doing? You’re so noisy.” Her cranky voice mutters from behind. I whip around, taking in her appearance. Messy blond hair, blood shot and itchy eyes, short polka dot shorts displaying her long and delicate legs, and one of my tanks barely holding in her enormous…stomach. That’s what I meant to say. She rubs her eye, waiting for my response. Yet, all I can do is gawk. I thought she’d hurt herself, slipped in the tub and was bleeding out. I don’t know what I thought, all I know is that she’s here, and I was this close to losing her.
“Aie.” I choke, quickly wrapping her chilling body in my embrace. “I’m sorry…I just…I thought I’d lost you. I-I…”
“Die, calm down. You’re not making any sense.” She smiles to herself, her fingers dancing along my back. I hold her tighter, thinking absolutely nothing. Eventually, her arms move to hold me tight as well.
XOXOXOX
AIE’S POV:
So that’s it. All is well? I still feel guilty…and I don’t know what to do. He smiles at me with that gentle one, his eyes full of generosity and warmth. I always want him to smile like this. I want to show him that I do care, even though I can’t. I can’t involve myself with him. I have Kanon, this baby’s father. He wants to be with me…they both do. And I, unfortunately, want to be with both of them. But you can’t always have what you want. You have to lose in order to gain.
“I’ll be back Aie. I left something in my car.” He states, quickly moving to the door, leaving my side at the couch. We’ve been watching infomercials on tv. Why? Well why not?
“Kay. I’ll be here.” I nod, and he rolls his eyes, disappearing outside. Turning my attention back to the television, I make myself more comfortable on the couch. That’s when I hear it, a sickening screech and dull thud, the crunching of precious parts and my heart being torn in half. “Die?” I whimper, not that he can hear me.