For Better or for Worse

“He’s really gone?” I ask the receptionist. She nods solemnly, making me bite my lip in irritation. It’s not that I hadn’t expected it…

“Aie? Are you okay?” Die’s tender voice asks, raising me from my pit of misery. I shouldn’t be feeling this way. No. It was my choice. This is my decision.

“Mmhmm.” I nod. He only frowns, taking my hand and pulling me closer.

“Aie…I can tell that you’re lying.” He states. I only bite my lip.

“No…I’m just…confused? I don’t know.” I sigh, moving to say more when a shrill scream cuts me off.

“She doesn’t like you acting this way either.” He teases, eyes softening as he glances toward her makeshift hospital crib.

“…What do I do?” I ask, nervousness kicking in. Do I pick her up? Will I get in trouble?
Should I just let her alone? Maybe she’ll stop. I twitter to and from the crib nervously, earning a chuckle from Die.

“Aie, calm down. Just go pick her up.” He shakes his head, sitting up in his bed ever so slightly.

“…I won’t get in trouble?”

“That’s your kid. Not theirs.” He reminds, laughter to his eyes. Mine hold only uncertainty. Hesitantly, I move to the tiny thing, wrapped in layers of frilly pink. My god I’d choke or kill myself…hesitantly, I lift her, cradling her small, fragile body. Her face scrunches up in distaste, much like his would. Oh god… “Aie.” His voice calls. “Aie, don’t cry.”

“…He’s gone.” I whisper. “And it’s my fault…”

“Aie…”

XOXOXOX

DIE’S POV:

It’s been a week. Finally, I’m out of that hell hole, and with that, so is she. She practically lives at the hospital. I don’t like it. It’s not a pleasant place. And I’m not sure, but she doesn’t seem to be herself…well, what I can make of her anyway. I know this isn’t how she acts: staring off into space, distancing herself from others, ignoring calls, ignoring her baby, crying herself to sleep…I don’t like it one bit. Is it me? Ellie? Or is it him? That guy with the lip rings and funny hair. The boy that stormed off. Ellie’s father.

“Aie? Aie, I have some lunch…will you come eat with me?” I plead.

“I’m not hungry.” She exhales dryly, body hidden under the covers.

“…Please Aie?”

“No.” She snarls. I only bite my lip, irritated with her behavior.

“Dammit Aie, won’t you just eat something for your daughter? She needs to eat, and if you’re not, she’s not.” I bark, “If she dies, then what would you do?” Immediately, the covers still. Shit, I went too far again. “Aie…Aie I didn’t mean that. I’ll bring something up to you. Just, please eat. Please?” I whimper, moving from the room and back into the kitchen, preparing a meal for her. What I don’t expect to hear is the sound of footsteps. Tiny ones. Only Aie’s are that small. Looking up, I find her small frame in the doorway, her arms holding herself together as she shivers.

“I’m sorry.” She whispers, so quietly I almost can’t hear it. Setting down her plate, I move beside her, instantly holding her quivering body close to me.

“Shh…it’s okay.” I coo, sobs raking her body.

“I’m terrible!” She cries, voice cracking. “Ellie deserves better than me!” She bawls, fists clenching my shirt tightly.

“But you’re all she’s got Aie. It’s never too late. You’re not terrible. This is all new to you.” And that bastard isn’t here. Good. I don’t want him to be. No matter how much she loves or needs him, I don’t want to see his sorry face again. Aie continues sobbing in my arms until I take her to a chair, setting her down and looking into her pale eyes. “Aie, you’re a strong girl. You can do this.” I smile, cradling her cheek in my palm, watching her eyes glisten. She bites her lip nodding, and what I do next, well, neither of us were expecting it. Maybe it was just the opportunity and timing. Perhaps the situation? Or even just hormones. But at that moment, I kissed her, and she kissed me, her lips molding to mine perfectly, like we belonged together. I pull away, studying her closely, her cheeks a shade of pink and softness to her eyes. “Aie? …Are you waiting for him?” I whisper, my fingers still on her cheek, caressing her pale skin and wild bedroom hair. Honestly, she looks like death, but she’s my death. Slowly she shakes her head. Side to side. What does that mean again? Yes or no?

“No.” She states. It’s as if she can read my mind.

“Then…why didn’t you tell me sooner?” I smile, teasing. In response, that smile finally worms its way back on to her face.

“Cause I’m a wimp.” She shrugs. Now it’s my turn to smile.

“Well…you’re my wimp now.” I beam, immediately pulling her into another kiss, hugging her body tightly. “And you always will be.”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.” She smiles. I think that smile was all I ever needed. I remember everything. Well Aie at least. And she’s my everything.

XOXOXOX

AIE’S POV:

There she goes, crying again. I’m beginning to see why some mothers leave their kids in cars. But I wouldn’t do that. Groaning, I roll over in bed, falling out to crawl to her cradle. “Elliiiiiiiie!!!!” I whine picking her up. “You’re so noisy. Pleeeeease let mommy sleep?!” I plead, holding her tiny body close and rocking her gently. Her cries instantly cease as her lids fall shut again. Shaking my head, I place her back into her bed, returning to my own, only to hear her wailing again in the next hour. Parenthood is great.

“I see Aie-chan’s boobie!” Die sings walking past me nursing Ellie, wearing only his boxers. Damn he’s got a nice body. I almost don’t even notice the scars from the accident.

“That’s the last time you’ll see it too.” I grumble. He peeks out from the kitchen, a cute pout on his face. I only look away.

“You say that now.” He teases. Just as I’m about to snap back, he interrupts. “You hungry? I’m gonna make oatmeal or something.” He offers.

“Sure. Only because you’ll yell at me again if I say no.” I shake my head, smiling as I remember how that turned out.

“I don’t yell. I scold. Stern love Aie-chan, stern love.” He chuckles.

“What’s with the sudden chan business?” I ask, noticing he tacked that on the end.
“It’s my nickname for you.” He grins, moving from the kitchen to plop beside me on the couch. “Every girlfriend needs a nickname.” He winks, and I can’t help blushing. “You’re too cute.”

“And you’re staring at my boob.”

“Am not…well now I am thanks to you reminding me.” I only roll my eyes, shaking my head. He beams, then quickl6 returns to making breakfast, eventually settling beside me and the now sleeping Ellie, my shirt fixed and her small body relaxed on the cushioning.

“Thank you.” I smile genuinely taking the bowl out of his shaky hands. He nods back, a smile playing on his lips. I want nothing more than to taste them again.

“Now you’re staring.” He teases, noticing my eyes on him. I bite my lip, holding back a blush, then tear into my breakfast.

“I was only making an observation.” I lie. I just want him to kiss me again. More than yesterday. I want more of him.

“Whatever you say Aie-chan.” He chuckles, shaking his head.

XOXOXOX

“Die!!!!” An overly familiar, obnoxious voice squeals from downstairs. I only know one person who could sound like that.

“Hey Toshiya.” Die sounds out. Am I good or what? Laying Ellie down in her cradle, I quickly head downstairs, still wearing one of Die’s long button-up shirts and a pair of short shorts. Most likely my hair is a mess too, but what else is new?

“Hi Toshi.” I grin, waving slightly. He nods his head toward me.

“Lookin good Aie.” He winks, and then turns back to Die who has a scowl on his face. I can’t help giggling at Toshiya’s confused expression. “Anyway…we have practice tonight. Are you feeling up to it? I know your memory is shot and your motor skills aren’t what they were…”
You have such a gentle way of putting it Toshi.

“My memory is fine, thank you very much, and I know I’m having trouble, but it can’t hurt to try.” He shrugs. “I’ll be there. Who’s place?”

“Kaoru’s. You remember where…”

“Yes I remember where he lives.” Die rolls his eyes, shaking his head. “I’ll be there.” He nods.

“Okay. Well, in the meantime I’m bored.” Toshiya whines, clinging to Die tightly. I can’t help laughing.

“Well, you can hang out here if you want to? Go rent a movie or something. We’re not going anywhere with a one week old.” Die shakes his head.

“I wanna see Ellie!!!!!!” Toshi immediately sounds out, bouncing on the balls of his feet, all attention toward me.

“No way in hell! I finally got her to sleep! You know what a pain in the ass she is?!” I whine, moving to the couch.

“Pleeeeease?! Just one little peek won’t hurt!” Toshiya begs.

“No. N.O. NO. You can wait for her to wake up in an hour, don’t worry, she will.” I sigh, laying down on my stomach, closing my eyes for a brief moment. Oh, sleep would be wonderful right about now. Sighing, I can feel fingers in my hair, stroking the mangled mess. Die’s fingers.

“You two seem close.” Toshiya mutters above me. I can’t help smiling at this.

“I know.” Die whispers. I can hear the grin in his voice. I love this man.

XOXOXOX

I woke to him pulling my body from the couch gently. “Aie, Aie I did it.” He smiles proudly, ushering me up the stairs. Rubbing my eyes, I no doubt look confused. He can’t help chuckling. “It took a while, but I played through an entire song.” He beams, and immediately I mirror his expression.

“Really?!” I grin hearing a door open in the dark.

“Mhm!” he nods quickly, pulling my body close. I can feel myself being pressed into the cool sheets, engulfed in their welcoming scent. It’s not mine…I’m in his room. The next thing I feel are his warm lips against mine, whispering something incoherent.

“What was that?” I ask, lost in his touch. He pulls away slightly so that I can just make out his silhouette.

“I said…I love you.”