For Better or for Worse
Numb
Ugh, one week down, one to go, and yet, not a single idea. I’m screwed.
“Aie?!” His gentle voice whines. Normally, him whining would throw me over the edge, but this damn baby likes to mess with my emotions.
“Yes?” I coo winding through piles of folded clothes to his side under the sheets. I really need to clean…
“Come spend time with me.” He pouts. “I’m leaving in a week.” His adorable lips quiver as he reaches for me. How could you say no to that?
“You’re so clingy lately.” I giggle, lacing my fingers with his and settling myself in his lap.
“And you’re not.” He huffs wrapping his arms around my waist tightly, making me cringe in pain. “Are you okay?” He utters nervously, noticing my discomfort.
“Yeah, I’m fine!” I lie, quickly inhaling air in attempts to hold back my pained tears.
“Honestly, I don’t think you are. Come on, we’re taking you to the doctor’s. I don’t want anything happening to you.” He pleads.
“No! I’m fine! I don’t need to go!” I shriek all too quickly.
“Aie! I don’t want to hear it! We’re going, and that’s final!” He shouts making me recoil in fear. Instantly, he regrets his tone and softens his gaze. “Please Aie? I could never forgive myself if something happened while I was gone…I love you too much. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” His thumb runs over my engagement ring, and I bite my lip harshly, reminding myself why I can’t. But then again…I have to tell him eventually. Maybe this is the chance? But right before a tour? That’s the perfect chance for him to leave me…
“…You have to promise you won’t leave.” He eyes me suspiciously, but agrees.
XOXOXOX
ARI’S POV:
“Ari, can you do me a favor?” Aie’s voice requests over the phone timidly. It’s not like her to be shy.
“Hm?” I mutter flipping through a magazine, waiting for Miku to drop by, as promised.
“Can you come to the doctor’s with me so Kanon doesn’t murder me…Please?”
“Oh my god!!! Are you going to tell him!!!” I squeal flinging the suddenly uninteresting information across the room and bolting to the door, only to be face to face with Miku.
‘You seem happy.’ He mouths, a smirk to his face. I quickly blush, not realizing I’d missed Aie’s complete answer.
“Sorry babe, could you repeat that? I got distracted.” I giggle when the sound of her sigh is overly evident. “You love me!” I beam.
“Far too much. Anyway, he’s making me go to the doctor’s. He thinks I’m sick and won’t forgive himself if something happens to me. Will you come along? Please?!” She pleads. I can imagine the look on her face.
“Awe, of course Aie Bear. I wouldn’t miss it for the world! If he lays a single hair on you I’ll make sure he can never impregnate another woman again!”
“…Thanks.” She mutters. I can hear ruffling on her end of the line and Kanon’s distinct voice. Show time.
XOXOXOX
AIE’S POV:
“Well I’m pleased to say you’re about two and a half months along!” The tiny female doctor announces. I keep my attention focused solely on her, afraid of the expression Kanon has…that is certainly one I don’t want to see.
“…What do you mean two and a half months along? What’s she got and why are you pleased?!” His distant voice stutters. I let my head drop, hiding it in my quivering hands.
This is it…the end of everything. Why now? Now that I’m happy and can smile without caring what my teeth look like? Laugh at even the stupidest jokes, just loving the shrill sound for the first time. Dance down the streets knowing someone’s right behind me, following me every step of the way. Go to bed without tears in my eyes…without hugging myself to sleep.
Why now? That I feel full for the first time…
“No, let her tell him.” Ari mutters. Everything seems to move in slow motion. I hear the faint sounds of my doctor leaving the room, the door clicking shut, Kanon’s harsh breathing, my irregular heartbeat, Ari’s occasional sniffle. These are the moments I’ll remember. The sounds I heard once the ‘Good News’ of our addition to the world was announced. I don’t remember a single smile, laugh, hug, kiss, not a word from the man who was meant to build this new life together with me. And I never did.
XOXOXOX
“Aie?” His cold voice sounds, waking me from my dreamless slumber. Looking around the chilling gray room, I suddenly remember curling up onto the couch as Kanon retreated into the bedroom. I guess he’s done thinking now…his icy eyes stare at me, making my all ready numb self shatter. I don’t even have tears anymore…I’m all dried up. “Aie, we need to talk.” He straightens himself, towering over me, a repulsed look on his face. It’s enough to make me vomit. Unfortunately, I haven’t eaten anything in days.
“I’m sorry.” I crack, falling to the floor, collapsing on myself, dry sobs filling the stale air. I fight the urge to touch him one last time, but before I know it, he has me scooped up to his warm chest, his chin resting on my head.
“Don’t Aie…we can figure this out.” He mutters holding me closer. His footsteps sound in my ears and I quickly find myself engulfed in his silky sheets, shivers running down my spine at their iciness.
“I’m sorry.” I repeat, still choking back my cries. His body instantly presses to mine, and I’m fearful of this man for the first time in my life… “Don’t hurt me.”
“Aie?!” His gentle voice whines. Normally, him whining would throw me over the edge, but this damn baby likes to mess with my emotions.
“Yes?” I coo winding through piles of folded clothes to his side under the sheets. I really need to clean…
“Come spend time with me.” He pouts. “I’m leaving in a week.” His adorable lips quiver as he reaches for me. How could you say no to that?
“You’re so clingy lately.” I giggle, lacing my fingers with his and settling myself in his lap.
“And you’re not.” He huffs wrapping his arms around my waist tightly, making me cringe in pain. “Are you okay?” He utters nervously, noticing my discomfort.
“Yeah, I’m fine!” I lie, quickly inhaling air in attempts to hold back my pained tears.
“Honestly, I don’t think you are. Come on, we’re taking you to the doctor’s. I don’t want anything happening to you.” He pleads.
“No! I’m fine! I don’t need to go!” I shriek all too quickly.
“Aie! I don’t want to hear it! We’re going, and that’s final!” He shouts making me recoil in fear. Instantly, he regrets his tone and softens his gaze. “Please Aie? I could never forgive myself if something happened while I was gone…I love you too much. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” His thumb runs over my engagement ring, and I bite my lip harshly, reminding myself why I can’t. But then again…I have to tell him eventually. Maybe this is the chance? But right before a tour? That’s the perfect chance for him to leave me…
“…You have to promise you won’t leave.” He eyes me suspiciously, but agrees.
XOXOXOX
ARI’S POV:
“Ari, can you do me a favor?” Aie’s voice requests over the phone timidly. It’s not like her to be shy.
“Hm?” I mutter flipping through a magazine, waiting for Miku to drop by, as promised.
“Can you come to the doctor’s with me so Kanon doesn’t murder me…Please?”
“Oh my god!!! Are you going to tell him!!!” I squeal flinging the suddenly uninteresting information across the room and bolting to the door, only to be face to face with Miku.
‘You seem happy.’ He mouths, a smirk to his face. I quickly blush, not realizing I’d missed Aie’s complete answer.
“Sorry babe, could you repeat that? I got distracted.” I giggle when the sound of her sigh is overly evident. “You love me!” I beam.
“Far too much. Anyway, he’s making me go to the doctor’s. He thinks I’m sick and won’t forgive himself if something happens to me. Will you come along? Please?!” She pleads. I can imagine the look on her face.
“Awe, of course Aie Bear. I wouldn’t miss it for the world! If he lays a single hair on you I’ll make sure he can never impregnate another woman again!”
“…Thanks.” She mutters. I can hear ruffling on her end of the line and Kanon’s distinct voice. Show time.
XOXOXOX
AIE’S POV:
“Well I’m pleased to say you’re about two and a half months along!” The tiny female doctor announces. I keep my attention focused solely on her, afraid of the expression Kanon has…that is certainly one I don’t want to see.
“…What do you mean two and a half months along? What’s she got and why are you pleased?!” His distant voice stutters. I let my head drop, hiding it in my quivering hands.
This is it…the end of everything. Why now? Now that I’m happy and can smile without caring what my teeth look like? Laugh at even the stupidest jokes, just loving the shrill sound for the first time. Dance down the streets knowing someone’s right behind me, following me every step of the way. Go to bed without tears in my eyes…without hugging myself to sleep.
Why now? That I feel full for the first time…
“No, let her tell him.” Ari mutters. Everything seems to move in slow motion. I hear the faint sounds of my doctor leaving the room, the door clicking shut, Kanon’s harsh breathing, my irregular heartbeat, Ari’s occasional sniffle. These are the moments I’ll remember. The sounds I heard once the ‘Good News’ of our addition to the world was announced. I don’t remember a single smile, laugh, hug, kiss, not a word from the man who was meant to build this new life together with me. And I never did.
XOXOXOX
“Aie?” His cold voice sounds, waking me from my dreamless slumber. Looking around the chilling gray room, I suddenly remember curling up onto the couch as Kanon retreated into the bedroom. I guess he’s done thinking now…his icy eyes stare at me, making my all ready numb self shatter. I don’t even have tears anymore…I’m all dried up. “Aie, we need to talk.” He straightens himself, towering over me, a repulsed look on his face. It’s enough to make me vomit. Unfortunately, I haven’t eaten anything in days.
“I’m sorry.” I crack, falling to the floor, collapsing on myself, dry sobs filling the stale air. I fight the urge to touch him one last time, but before I know it, he has me scooped up to his warm chest, his chin resting on my head.
“Don’t Aie…we can figure this out.” He mutters holding me closer. His footsteps sound in my ears and I quickly find myself engulfed in his silky sheets, shivers running down my spine at their iciness.
“I’m sorry.” I repeat, still choking back my cries. His body instantly presses to mine, and I’m fearful of this man for the first time in my life… “Don’t hurt me.”