Dance to This Beat

"Claire! Wake up!"

I rolled over in my small bed and glared at my mom. "What?" I asked flatly. Then I glanced at my clock and realized that the only reason that momma would wake me up at three o'clock on a Saturday morning would be because her water broke.

"Oh crap!" I exclaimed, throwing the blanket off of me.

I led her out to her "mom-mobile"--aka her new mini-van--after we both slipped on shoes.

Thankfully, I remembered to grab her duffel bag out of the closet and the keys off the table.

I slammed the car door and looked over at mom. "How ya doin'?"

She opened her mouth to answer, but started doing lamaze breathing instead.

I pulled out of the driveway and headed in the direction of the hospital.
We were about halfway there when Jon called. I knew it was him because my ringtone for him was the chorus to Hellogoodbye's "Here (In Your Arms)".

"Hello?"

"Is it happening?"

"Yeah. We're on the way to the hospital right now. How'd you know?"

"Brendon just called. He said you and your mom were in the van driving towards the hospital."

"Why is Brendon awake and stairin' out his window at three in the mornin'?"

"Inspiration? Him and Ryan have been working on a new song since seven."

"No luck?"

"Actually, they've written three songs and an instrumental piece."

"Wow."

"Yeah."

A sudden thought came to mnd. "Does Spencer know yet?"

"Brendon three-wayed us," he laughed.

"Okay, I'm about to park so I'll talk to you later."

"Alright. Tell Jen good luck."

"Will do. Love ya."

"I love you."

"Bye," we said at the same time.

Still clutching my phone, I pulled into the parking lot. We ran--at least I did--into the large building and to the maternity desk.
"My mom's water just broke!" I exclaimed in a blur of country.

The lady looked surprised. "I'm sorry hon, could you please repeat that?"

I rolled my eyes and was about to repeat myself when momma stepped up to the desk. "My water just broke. Can I please go to my delivery room?"

"Oh god, I'm so sorry! What's your name?"

"Jenna Jameson."

Crazy desk attendant called a big man with a wheelchair over. "Room two o'seven please, James."

------

Thirty two hours later Shayne Conner Williams was born. He was nine pounds, eight ounces and twenty one inches long. Even better, he was my little brother.

Spencer was the one to wake me up when it happened. I was asleep on Jon's shoulder in the hard, plastic hospital waiting room chairs.

Why was I asleep at eleven AM?

It was the first time I had gotten any real sleep in a week.

I walked in the room sleepy and make up-less, but too excited to care. Actually, to be honest, I probably wouldn't have cared any other time.

"Hey."

Momma looked up--she was holding Conner. "Hi."

I sat down and watched him sleep. He looked warm cuddeled up to momma like that.

"He's cute." I looked up at mom and waited for her to reply.

When she finally did, it wasn't what I had been hoping for.

"You're going to Africa in four months."

I felt myself frown. "Uh-huh."

"What am I gonna do?"
I knew what she was getting at now. "Mom, you'll have da--" I stopped suddenly. "Shit. Dad doesn't know yet."

He didn't know Conner had been born yet. I honestly didn't want to be the one to tell him either. That involved too much talking.

"Mo-o-omma."

She gave me a Look.

"But I don't wanna."

"Claire."

Suddenly I had a thought. "I'll be back."

I found the guys in the waiting room. "Hey bestest friends," I said with a huge grin on my face.

"What do you want?" Brendon asked, seeing through me.

I sighed. "Will one of you call my dad?"

"Claire!"

"Ple-e-ease. I don't wanna."

Ryan grabbed the phone out of my hand and walked towards the elavators.

"That was easier than I thought it'd be."

"Ryan's a sucker for your baby face."

I looked over at Spencer. "I have a baby face?"

"More like a doll face," Brendon supplied.

"Either way you're adorable," Jon smiled.

I sat down next to him. "You guys, Conner is seriously the cutest baby ever."

"Are we allowed in yet?" Brendon asked.

"Accordin' to hospital standards, just not mine."

"Huh?"

"Momma's about to feed him."

"Oh.... O-o-o-oh!"

"There we go."I laughed, picking up his water and taking a drink.

"He said he's coming up to see the baby," Ryan said, returning to the mostly-empty room.

Before I could swallow, I spit Brendon's water out. "What?!"

"He ... he want's to see his kid."

"Dammit," I muttered. If he was coming up then he would want to meet Jon and all my friends. And other than Hanna and Kaity, they were all guys.

I stood back up and ran to momma's room. "He's comin'!"

"What?!" she hissed, as to not wake Conner up. "When?"

"I dunno.... I didn't--"

"Did he not say or--"

"I dunno. Ryan talked to him, not--"

"Why did Ryan talk to your father?"

I bowed my head. "Csn we please continue our other conversation?"

"Right. Well, I just remembered that you'll be closer if you get into any of the schools you want to go to."

"You mean you're ... you're actually gonna do this? You're gonna let dad help raise Conner?"

"He has the right, baby."

"He's just gonna ignore him like he did Jason, Charlie, David, and me!"

"No, he really want's this. We've been talking and he sounds genuinly happy."

I could feel the tears running down my face. "He's a liar! He cheated on you, in case you don't remember. Multiple times, not just once!"

And with that I stormed out of the room with tears pouring down my face.

"What's wrong?" Jon asked as I ran into him.

I tried to puch past him, but he grabbed me so I couldn't leave.

I threw my arms around his waist and sobbed into his chest.

Spencer came over in search of Jon after what felt like hours later, but in fact, was really only ten minutes.

"Hey," he said quietly.

I swallowed, but couldn't speak.

"What happened?"

"I don't know," Jon replied.

"We should probably get her home."

"Yeah."

------

Jon pulled his blanket up around my shoulders and kissed my forehead. I kept my eyes closed. Not wanting to be alone, I was sleeping over at Jon's house. At the moment it was only two in the afternoon, but I was exausted and desperatly needed sleep. So there I was--laying in my boyfriend's bed, trying to sleep at two o'clock. God, I have problems. If it hadn't been for me being so mad at my dad, no one ever could've guessed thst I have ADHD. Or insomnia. But I do. And I'm extremely angry. With my dad. For getting my mom pregnant. Again.