Moving On Up

Charlene POV

“Sweetie its time to wake up. Charlene sweetheart.”

My eyes slowly opened, only to sharply shut once more as the bright sun from outside made them burn. It may have been winter but the sun was still an absolute blinder. Peeking out from under my duvet, I looked around my room and felt a smile rise as I realised I really was back home. My eyes averted back to my mother who sat on my bed, softly brushing my hair from my face and looking down at me with mothers eyes, wanting nothing more than for her child to be happy.
“What time is it?”

“Just gone 1 in the afternoon.”

“Jesus.” I muttered. “Why didn’t you wake me?”

“A mother knows when her child needs rest.”

I smiled softly up at her, thankful to be home. The only place I wanted to be was back here in Chicago with my parents; away from all of the drama of England. As soon as I had left Mark and Nick I had driven straight to the airport, praying there was a flight out in the treacherous weather. The snow and ice had meant most flights were cancelled so my hopes were next to none. No european companies were flying out but it was only as I was on the verge of tears that I had spotted an open American Airlines that was like a blessing from heaven. Sure enough, forty minutes later I was in the air and heading back to Chicago and my mum and dad.

Within moments of being back in the house I had broken down and told them everything for pretty much the entire evening. It certainly changed their plans for a quiet night in.

“Your father has just made some pancakes so hurry on down before he eats them all himself.” She chuckled and rubbed my leg over the cover. The love of a mother for her daughter was something that could not be compared. It was all I needed.

“I’m not hungry but thank you.”

“Charlene, you need to eat something. You look so gaunt and thin; I’m surprised neither Mark nor Nick said anything.”

“Well they’ve had other stuff on their minds.” I said meekly, not knowing my appearance had changed so dramatically.

“I don’t care what you say, you are going to come downstairs and eat with us. Your father actually volunteered to cook which is a miracle in itself.” She smiled as I laughed at her lame joke, slowly pushing myself out of bed and facing the cold.

“I forget how cold it gets here during winter.” I muttered, shoving my arms into my huge dressing gown and following my mum down the stairs. Sure enough my dad was already tucking into the pancakes which looked absolutely delicious. Man had I missed home.

“Dad; these are amazing.” I said mid mouthful, not remembering his cooking being this good.

“Unlike your table manners missy, finish your mouthful.” He smirked, pointing his fork at me. I rolled my eyes and laughed, taking a sip of milk.

“I’m sorry for just dumping myself on you guys like this. I just didn’t know where else to go.”

“Princess, don’t ever apologise about coming back home. This is your safety blanket and we love knowing that we were your first port of call. We want you to feel like you can come here whenever you wish because we miss you Charlene. Ever since all of this ‘love’ drama started we’ve lost you.”

“No you haven’t.” I said softly, wondering what my dad was going on about since clearly, like my appearance, they had noticed a change.

“Charlene, you are so withdrawn from everything. Let’s be honest; you’re hardly known for being a shy creature are you?” He smiled, but there was sadness also present. “We just want you to be able to be yourself again and not get so bogged down with all of this drama that seems to have popped up from no where.”

“Nick. Nick popped up from no where.”

“Well to be fair Charlene, he’s always caused drama for you.” My mother said, placing her hand on mine on the table, gently running her thumb over my knuckles and smiling comfortingly though I could see right through it.

“I know.” I whispered, looking down at my lap. “And I know you guys probably hate him.”

“Yes.” “No.” My parents glared at each other, and I knew where this was going again.

“What do you mean ‘no’?” My dad scoffed. “He broke Charlene’s heart and showed a clear lack of disrespect for her by cheating. Then when he decides he wants to mess with my daughter once more he reappears.”

“And you think he hasn’t paid for his mistakes? He was a good kid and you know that. He made Charlene the happiest she has ever been and you hate him for it? As her father you should simply want her to be happy, and it is not her fault that that was and possibly still is Nick. You watch the news; you too have seen the change in that boy. In interviews his eyes are all dead and lifeless, his speech void of emotion. He’s absolutely lost without Charlene and you think that shows a lack of respect? He loves our daughter to no end and he should not be punished for that.” My mum said, continuing to glare at my father.

They were the team representatives. My father was all for Mark; a respectable, genuine and loving englishman. Although my mother did like Mark; her heart had always been with Nick; the funny and charming man that had stolen her daughters young heart. She’d never said her bias before now; but I always knew she was a true Narlene supporter.

“He cheated on Charlene and smashed her heart and soul. She has only recently recovered thanks to Mark and surprise surprise she breaks as soon as Nicholas reappears. Am I the only one not oblivious to this little pattern?” My dad snarled.

“No; but you are clearly oblivious to the love and-”

“Stop.” I whispered. “Please...just stop.”

“Sorry.” They said simultaneously like naughty school children.

The rest of the meal was silent but all of the bitter words exchanged between the two were playing heavily on my heart; knowing both wanted me with different people.

I spent the next few days simply chilling around the house; trying to relax for the first time in months. Four days into my stay I decided to rummage around the attic for my old ‘memory’ box from senior year; laughing at all of the random items I found, like one of Sara’s old socks with her initials sewn onto them. Why I ever held possession; I do not know.

My heart sank when I slowly pulled out a book I remembered so clearly. It was the book I had created when I was a little girl, full of ideas for my wedding. The last time I had this out was when I was with Nick, hoping it wouldn’t be long until this book could become a reality. How wrong I had been.

I frowned when I came across a bunch of dvds, none of which gave away what they contained. I carefully climbed down from the attic, shaking my head to get rid of dust before walking into my bedroom and popping one of the dvds in.

“Oh my gosh.” I smiled to myself, settling onto my bed and remembering the exact time the video was taken. It was shortly after Nick and I’s engagement and both of our family’s had a huge get together at the Jonas household to celebrate. It seemed like only yesterday; not almost 5 years ago.

I heard my mums voice from behind the camera and remembered her pestering everyone at the party along with Denise who was also determined to film us all. Like always, we were playing a game...pictionary perhaps...

5 years ago

Games in the Jonas household were never normal. They always involved a lot of yelling from getting to in to the game and tonight was no different. I was cuddled into Nicks side on the love seat, my legs sprawled across his, wanting to always be as close as possible to him.

“Donkey!” Kevin screamed at Joe who was standing and getting impatient that no one could understand his ‘masterpiece’.

“Kevin, how is that a donkey?” Joe scoffed, though to be honest, I couldn’t even take a guess his drawing was so bad.

“A 2 years olds first time at holding a pen!” Nick called out.

“Don’t be mean.” I laughed and nestled my face into his neck. I felt him smile, his fingers combing through my hair.

“Nick, unless you think you can do a better job, pipe down.” Joe snapped, getting impatient which everyone was finding hilarious considering how seriously he was taking the game.

“Yeah Nick; geez.” I muttered into his neck, smiling to myself at how good he always smelt. He turned and lay on his side so his nose was brushing mine and his back was to everyone else.

“You’re such a gobby little cow sometimes.” He chuckled as I scoffed and rolled my eyes at him.

“What a charmer you are!” I laughed. With my hand placed softly on his cheek, I slowly leant forward and brushed my lips over his, still treasuring the feel of his soft lips under mine.

“I love you.” He said quietly, smiling when I said it back before taking my lips with his again.

“Now now you two, keep it PG.”

We both jumped and pulled back, looking up to see both of our mothers hovering there with cameras pointing down on us.

“Guys, seriously, a little privacy wouldn’t go a miss!” Nick laughed, covering my body with his, sending me into fits of laughter.

“Well its your own fault; making out during a family game!” Denise laughed, hitting Nicks head and walking back to her seat with my own mum, both of them laughing.

“She has a point.” I grinned up at Nick whose body was still on mine.

“Nick, you can get off Charlene now.” Paul smiled from the other side of the room.

“Nah Dad, Nick likes being on top.” Joe smirked before being hit around the head once more by Denise.

“Joseph we have guests!” Denise exclaimed despite both of my parents laughing at Joe’s comment.

“I like any position with you.” Nick murmured into my ear. I grinned and placed my hand on the back of his neck, bringing his ear close to my lips.

“How about you show me your favourites later?” I smirked and pressed a kiss to his ear. Nick chuckled and kissed my cheek, holding a huge smile on his beautiful face, a look in his eyes telling me we would most certainly be doing that later on.

I settled into Nicks lap once more, laying my head on his shoulder as Joe continued with his pictionary attempt.

“Joe seriously, no one will ever get what that is.” Nick sighed as Joe grew desperate.

“Oh, I know. It’s a water hose.”

“Yes!” Joe screamed. “See, me and Charlene understand each other!” Joe walked over and fist pumped me, raising his hands in triumph like he had just won a million dollars. The unamused looks on everyones faces said it all.

“Ok, new game.” Kevin said awkwardly as everyone’s eyes were still on Joe who was beaming like a cheshire cat. His birth certificate may have claimed him 21, his mental age said differently.

I felt Nicks eyes on me and slowly tilted my head upwards to meet his warm gaze.

“What?” My voice was quiet and soft, bringing a loving and gentle smile to his lips. My eyes caught a glimpse of Kevin rolling his eyes before Nicks shoulder covered my vision on him as his lips slowly came down to mine. Softly I took Nick’s bottom lip with my own, bringing my hand up to caress his freshly shaved cheek. Regrettably I pulled back, wary of the presence of others.

“I love you.” He nudged his nose against mine, bringing on a full on grin of my own. My husband. He was going to be my husband and I doubted that amazing reality would ever hit me. I was too busy living in the clouds with Nick for it to click and I never felt like letting my feet touch the ground again.

“I love you too Nicky.”

The tape kept running, but at the same time so did my tears. My eyes had been so full of happiness and love, whereas now there were just dead. Sniffling, I stood up and turned off the television, unable to take much more. My feet shuffled towards the same box and I leant down to retrieve a shirt. Turning it around I discovered it was one of Nick’s high school football shirts. Regardless of how musty it would have been, I held it tightly to my chest, whimpering softly.

I walked downstairs and threw the shirt into the washing machine before propping myself up on one of the counters and staring out of the window. My parents had had to go back to work and decided it was good for me to be alone with my thoughts for the first time since all of this drama began. Whether or not this was a good idea was debatable.

The washing machine came to an end and I pushed myself off the counter, retrieved the shirt and placed it in the tumble dryer. Even after all of these years my parents still used the same washing up liquid and the smell had always reminded me of high school...of Nick.

I practically flew towards the machine once it had finished and slipped into the shirt. Sure, I had grown since high school but Nicks shirt had always been big on me. It was one of the reasons I loved it so much. I still couldn’t understand my sudden urge to wear the shirt again but it smelt and felt good so I left it be.

For the following couple of hours I just sat and looked through all of the photo albums from high school. One in particular caught my eye. It was a picture of my last day in America and though I was smiling; my eyes weren’t. Tyra Banks would have been ashamed. My eyes looked lifeless and empty which was how I had felt and as much as I hated to admit it; that feeling had been resurrected. Tears once more began to trickle down my face regardless of my attempt to stop them. I hated showing weakness.


“Babe, can you fetch that box from my car and bring it up here please?” Nick asked whilst surrounded by his junk. It was the day after Kevin had moved out and rather than ‘cherishing his memory’ as he put it, Nick was already moving into his room which was by far the bigger of the two. We had almost moved him in completely apart from this box of trophies that Nick had recently gotten cleaned to put on display. Such a modest young man...

I trudged out to the car, hiking the heavy box up and slowly and carefully walking back inside. As I walked the stairs my hands began to sweat and I prayed I’d reach the top in time. I smiled to myself as I reached the top step and made my way down to Nick’s new room. Turning my back to the door, I tried to push down on the handle with my elbow to open it and suddenly the box dropped from my grip and smashed down onto the floor.

“What the fuck was that?!” Nick yelled from inside, clearly thinking something had happened to me. He flung open the door and stood next to me, both of us staring down at the box that held all of his pride and joy. Slowly bending down and opening the box, I sobbed as I saw his most prized trophy broken in two. I was an idiot.

“Fuck.” Nick said under his breath. Moving the trophy aside I thanked the lord none of the others had felt the same damaging effect. Nick bent down beside me and picked up the two pieces of the trophy, not saying a word.

“State championships.” He said quietly, rubbing the metal with his thumbs.

“I’m sorry.” I whispered.

“I know you are.” He said back and stood, walking back into his room. I heard him place broken pieces on his table and walk back out to collect the box. His eyes caught mine as he lifted it and he frowned in confusion, nodding his head towards his bedroom, instructing me to follow. I sniffled and went after him, crossing my arms over my chest and standing by the door.

“Baby...” He said softly, approaching me with a concerned look on his face.

“I’m sorry.” I sobbed, tightening my crossed arms, noticing a tear fall off my chin.

“It wasn’t your-”

“Yes it was Nick. I’m so sorry. I know how much that trophy means to you.”

“Come ‘ere.” He held me tightly, swaying from side to side and holding his lips to my forehead, pressing soft kisses there. “You didn’t mean to.”

“But I still did. I’m such an idiot. I can’t do anything right.”

“You know that’s not true.” He held me by my shoulders, his intense gaze making me unable to look away. Even if I’d wanted to I wouldn’t have been able to tear my eyes away from his. “Sure, you’re a clumsy little thing,” he grinned, making me chuckle softly, “but that’s you. I love everything about you Charlene and I don’t want you getting so worked up over it. It’s fine, I have superglue.”

“Nick, superglue won’t do the job.” I hated that he could always make me laugh, even when I felt like shit and just wanted to sit and cry all day. He shrugged his shoulders and grinned that adorable boyish smirk that made all girls swoon.

“I’m sorry.” I said again as my eyes focused in on the broken trophy. “God, I’m so bloody pathetic. All I do is cry and moan these days!”

“Charlene, crying is not a weakness. Not by a long shot. I’d rather you be open with me then bottle up all of your feelings and sit like a ticking time bomb, ready for all of your problems and emotions to explode. It shows you trust me enough to be so vulnerable and open. So don’t you ever think that crying is one of your weaknesses ok?”

“But I’m no pansy.” I pouted which made him laugh. His lips met mine in a brief kiss and he laughed, smoothing down my hair.

“I think you’ve made that pretty clear since I met you, my dear. But you don’t have to put up a front with me. I mean, you’re the only person that’s ever seen me cry apart from my family. We’re both very guarded people but the fact that we can be so open with each other; it means the world to me Charlene; it really does.”

“Really?” I whispered. “Aren’t you mad about the trophy?”

“Yeah, it sucks but I’m not mad. I’ll just get it fixed somehow. Besides, I’ll just ensure I get some bigger and better ones.” He smiled, once more pressing his lips to mine. I held on tightly to his hair, knotting my fingers around his dark curls and feeling like I never wanted to let go.

“Now go fetch some superglue.” Nick said against my lips.

“Nick seriously it won’t-”

“Woman, are you questioning my wisdom?” He raised an intrigued eyebrow and I simply rolled my eyes and smirked at his dorkiness. “That’s what I thought. Now off you run fair maiden.”

I scoffed and spun on my heel, opening the door and heading out of his new room. “Loser.” I muttered to myself, smiling as I heard Nick yell from his room; “What was that Miss Howard?”

Laughter escaped my lips and it was a welcomed sound as I grinned and responded; “I said I love you Jonas!”

Once again I found myself crying and not knowing how to control myself. My hands were shaking, my shoulders on a continuous jolt and my chest was aching and becoming extremely painful. I was foolish but I did the only thing I had ever known to do when I got this upset.

I scrambled to my bed and picked up my phone, calling his number and groaning at the international dials. Just as I was about to give up all hope of him picking up; he finally did.

“Hello?” His voice instantly relaxed me and I clung to the shirt I was wearing like he was there in the flesh, like I needed him to be.

“Nick-” Before I could get any further I let out a loud sob and covered my mouth, not knowing how to stop this shaking.

“Charlene what’s wrong? Are you ok?” His tone was panicked and frantic and my heart ached knowing how much he still loved me.

“Nick,”

“Baby please tell me what’s wrong. You’re scaring me. Where are you?”

Baby. He’d called me baby. This let out another sob and I could hear his heavy breathing through the line, making me ache for him.

“Nick...” I let out a deep breath, admitting to something I hated. “I miss you.”

And the worst part is; the thought of calling Mark hadn’t even crossed my mind.