Moving On Up

Gazing down at all of the clouds below, I tried to ignore the knot that had formed in my stomach that threatened to bring up my breakfast. Through excitement or fear, I did not know.

Nick and I had both agreed we wanted to tell our families about ‘us’ in person and had booked the next available flight where both of our schedules fitted. Neither family knew.

I feared what his family would say to it all but most of all I feared my parents. After Nick’s past betrayal there would always be some resistance, I just hoped it would subside once they saw how happy I was. My father was as stubborn as they got.

A squeeze of my thigh brought my attention back to my boyfriend who had been amazing earlier in the flight when a patch of rough turbulence frightened the life out of me. He had held me tight and whispered comforting words into my ear, ensuring I was taking deep and steady breaths. It was the first time that I had managed to stay relatively calm during turbulence when usually I was mentally planning my escape and itching to fling open the cabin doors and jump.

“Hey.” I said softly, chuckling at how messy his curls were. “Sleep well?” I ran my hand through his hair before softly caressing his cheek.

He nodded and stretched, leaning forward in his seat and stretching his big arms out in front of him. “How much sleep have you gotten?” His voice was rough and so ridiculously hot.

“A couple of hours. I wanted to watch the sunrise.”

He peered out of the window and noticed it was now bright out, causing him to squint. “How long was I out for?”

“About 4 hours.”

He pulled a strange face, seemingly impressed he had slept at all on a flight. “I’m sorry for leaving you for that long.” He chuckled, smoothing his hand down my arm.

I smiled and bent my head to press a kiss to his hand. He lifted the rest between us and brought me into his lap, letting out a deep breath. I glanced down at his large physique and wondered how a man this big would cope in economy class. Lack of legroom would definitely have been a problem. Looking into his beautiful face, I smiled at the fact that he was all mine and it was then that I realised it would never fully hit that we were together again. It felt too good to be true.

“Are you ready for all of the paparazzi when we land?”

The smile fell from my face immediately. It would take a while to adjust to the fact that he was now an international star who I would have to share with the world. No longer was my Nicky just the high school charmer; he was a global icon.

“No.” I answered honestly and a sad smile graced his lips as he stroked my cheeks.

“When we land we’re going to be escorted out a private way to try to avoid the onslaught ok? It was the best I could do. I know it’s going to take a while to adjust, but I-”

Pressing my lips to his, I slowly eased him into the kiss in an attempt to calm him and his tense shoulders. I pulled back slightly but Nick followed me, refusing to end the kiss so soon. I smiled into the kiss and wrapped my arms around his neck, feeling so thankful we were in first class with ultimate privacy. The second time I tried to pull away he finally allowed me to, a gentle smile on his face.

“Nick, it is what it is. You don’t need to justify all of the publicity that will no doubt follow. All I care about is the fact that not only are you in my life again, but that I can also call you mine. That’s all that matters to me.”

He smiled and tilted his head to the side in thought. His mouth opened to speak but just as he was about to, the pilots voice interrupted us, informing us that we would soon be landing.

“What were you going to say?” I whispered, seeing the dazed look in his eyes.

“I cant remember.” He stared at me as if it would bring it back but then he shook his head, realising that train had left the station. “But one thing I do know;” He lowered his head and pressed a long kiss to my lips, butterflies forming in the pits of my belly. I loved but hated that he still had that effect on me, “is that I love you a whole lot.”

Smiling I brushed his lips with mine, whispering my love back to him.

As expected, the first class passengers were off the plane promptly and far ahead of the rest of the aircraft, giving Nick an opportunity to avoid mass attention he would no doubt receive otherwise.

Nick put on a New York Yankees baseball hat as we entered baggage claim but regardless of whether or not he was famous, there was no way he could not draw attention. He just oozed testosterone.

Our bags came out surprisingly quickly and we were soon approached by a small and slightly round man who escorted us out of the terminal through a back way. Nick had left his car at his friends house who lived not too far from the airport and had dropped the car off a few hours prior. It beat having to take a cab all of the way out of the city to where our families lived.

Nick loaded the bags and insisted that I go and get comfortable in the car, but considering this car was a Porsche Cayenne, I doubted getting comfortable would be that hard.

“I’ve missed this car.” Nick commented as he climbed in next to me, slipping on some sunglasses.

“So, you pay loads of money for a car you rarely see?”

“Well no, because I use this car when I’m back home with the family, like during off season. I work hard for my money and cars are my weakness so why not?”

I chuckled and settled back into my seat, making the most of the leg room. I couldn’t help but recall a conversation I had had with Denise when she’d said that she believed Nick spent money on all of these expensive things to fill the void in his life. To try to block out his loneliness. With that thought in mind I reached over and took his free hand, bringing it up to my lips.

Opening my eyes I saw him watching him, his hand curling under my chin as he moved towards me and pressed his soft lips to mine.

“You taste like coconut.” He mumbled against my lips. “I love coconut.” We both smiled into the kiss, realising how easy it was for us to fall into each other and forget about our surroundings. Nick pressed a gentle kiss to my lips once more, placing his hand in mine on my lap and putting the car into drive, his hat and sunglasses still firmly on.

The ironic thing was that we actually ended up driving past the main entrance and were able to see the mass crowds that had formed. Paparazzi lined the entrance and there were crowds of people hoping to catch a glimpse of America’s golden boy. Running my thumb over Nick’s hand, I continued to look outside and struggled to grasp the fact that all of these strangers were desperate to get their hands on my Nicky. When they looked at Nick they all saw an icon; a god. When I looked at Nick I saw the boy that stole my heart as a teenager and was yet to return it. He meant everything to me.

Turning my head I looked back at Nick who was focused dead ahead on the road that was slightly blocked by a large coach pulling into the airport.

“I haven’t seen in that bad in a while.” Nick commented, his eyes still ahead. “It’s because of you.” He said whilst turning his head towards me. I crinkled my nose and watched a smile form on his lips. “They know I’ve found someone. I’m known as the guy that keeps everything private, doesn’t party or hook up with loads of girls.”

“A bit of a boring old fart then?” I grinned.

He chuckled and squeezed my hand. “Something like that.” His laughter was breathy and heart warming. “Now they’ve finally got something to chew on. News travels fast and all I needed was to be snapped with you once back at Heathrow Airport and all of the paparazzi this end would have been informed. It doesn’t take much.”

“Does this attention ever make you regret being so successful?” I asked as we pulled out of the airport and headed towards the motorway. He let out a deep breath and thought for a while; not knowing how to answer the question.

“I get to do one of the things I love and being recognised for my ability in the game is so rewarding. But it’s when people pry into my life off the field that I get angry. As long as I perform well on the field, why should it matter how many bathrooms my new apartment has or where I get my hair cut? I’m just worried about all of the press you will now be getting.” He glanced briefly my way and then returned his eyes to the road but still brought my hand up to his lips. “I don’t want you to feel swamped with media attention and for it to heavily impact your day to day life. You shouldn’t have to pay for my life decisions.”

I could hear an element of guilt in his voice as if he’d summoned me to a life of darkness.

“Nick, I’ve got you and that’s all that matters.”

“You say that about everything.”

...

“Do your parents know you’re coming?” I questioned as Nick and I walked towards the front door of his families house that I still considered one of my homes.

“They know I’m coming...not you.” He chuckled. “I told them to make sure Joe and Kevin are also here.”

As I said, neither of our families knew we were back together and thankfully news of our reunion was yet to hit American shores which left us to do the honours. Nick held me firmly against him, his arm around my shoulders as I had a hand placed on his broad chest.

“Hello?” He called into the large house but there was no one in sight. “Mum? Dad?” He called again before we heard laughter coming from the direction of the dining room.

“Nick, I don’t want to seem rude by turning up unannounced.” I whispered, tightening my grip on his shirt. Turning to face me, he ducked his head and brushed his lips against mine.

“You’re family. Heck half the time it felt like you were more of a Jonas than I was. You should know that by now.”

“I know. I just don’t want to seem rude.”

Chuckling he ran his hand through my hair and continued to slide his hands down to my lower back. “They love you so much, Charlene. You are the only woman who can make me happy and they all know that. Believe me, they want nothing more than for this right here.” He motioned to our hands that were interlinked so tightly it was almost painful. “Now come on before lunch get’s cold.” He smiled, pulling me tight against him once more as we headed for the dining room.

“Hello?” Nick called as we headed towards the kitchen. “Hello?” He called again, slightly louder this time.

We heard chairs all being pushed back and the sound of fast footsteps heading our way. I looked up as I saw them all quickly hurrying from the dining room but all stopping one by one when they saw me.

I took in all of their faces, realising I had not seen this family, apart from Denise, in five years. They all looked the same yet so different. There was also a young woman with long brown hair who I assumed was a girlfriend or wife of Joe or Kevin.

Denise emerged from the pack and walked slowly towards us, a gentle smile on her face the whole time. She knew.

“So...what do we have here?” She smiled warmly, taking in how closely Nick and I were standing.

“You have your son back and it’s all thanks to this one here.” He looked down at me and I could feel my eyes filling as I stared back at him. “Who for some reason loves me just as much as I do her. God knows what I have done to deserve her;” We looked back at the family who had now gathered around in a semicircle just in front of us, “but he has blessed me with the woman of my dreams. The strongest person I know who has brought back the old Nick. The woman I can finally call mine again.”

With that the entire family pounced on us; smothering us with kisses, hugs and tears, the entire atmosphere buzzing. Nick’s hand somehow found mine and he pulled me to him, allowing people to pretty much swamp us but keep us together no less. By the time we were allowed to breathe there were tears from everyone in the room and I’m convinced even the tiny puppy in the corner was crying...well, maybe not but you get the point.

“Nicholas, I haven’t seen you smile like this in years.” Paul commented whilst wiping underneath his eyes.

“How did this all happen?” Denise interrupted, her eyes brimmed with tears.

Nick shook his head and pressed a kiss to my temple. “This right here,” he motioned to our intertwined bodies, “is all that matters.”

Denise clapped her hands in excitement, jumping slightly on the spot. “Oh you two must come. We’re just having lunch, won’t you join us?”

“Oh, we were going to head over to Charlene’s house to tell her parents the good news...”

“No, no.” I said softly, placing my hand on Nick’s chest. “We can go after lunch. Besides, I’ve missed Jonas food.” I smiled at a delighted Denise.

“Hey, I cook for you!” Nick exclaimed, scoffing to himself which brought on laughs from the whole family.

“Nicholas, it’s not quite the same.” Denise chuckled to herself whilst taking my hand and leading us to the dining room and making me regret ever leaving this family.

...

With Nick’s hand in mine we walked the path leading up to my family home, Nick’s grip especially tight.

“Are you nervous?” I asked softly, gently squeezing his hand back.

“Let’s just say your father wasn’t exactly accommodating last time we met.”

I knew Nick had plead with my father shortly after our break up in an attempt to track me down but I still knew little of what had actually been said between the two and I doubted I would ever get the full story.

Ringing the doorbell I still kept my hand in Nick’s, our grip tight yet soft. The door opened and there stood my mother, a large smile on her lips. “Charlene honey, what a pleasant surprise! I was just -” She paused when she stepped forward and then saw the man on the end of my arm. An even wider smile then appeared and my heart calmed slightly. “Nicholas Jonas.” She smiled knowingly.

“Hello Mrs Howard.” He said politely, a warm smile present.

She smiled at him and then turned her gaze to me before she embraced me in an intimate hug. “I love you baby girl.”

“Love you too mum. Nothing beats coming home.” Smiling I pulled back and watched as she moved over to hug Nick, whispering something in his ear to which he responded with “I know. Thank you for everything.”

I eyed them suspiciously but it was soon forgotten as my mum ushered us inside.

“Your father’s in the study, I’ll just go and fetch him.”

“No, I’ll go and surprise him.” I said cheerfully, releasing Nick’s hand and walking swiftly through the house to the closed door at the end of the long corridor and knocking.

“Yes?”

I smiled and pushed open the door and chuckled quietly as I watched how absorbed he was with his work. His desk was covered with army codes, none of which I had ever understood despite how much he and Jesse had explained them to me.

“Hey daddy.”

His head sprung up and a chuffed look spread across his face.

“Well look who it is.” He laughed and stood, engulfing me in a huge hug that lifted me slightly off the ground. “You look so much healthier than the last time we saw you sweetheart.” He said whilst smoothing down my hair. Pressing a kiss to my forehead I smiled and took his hand in mine.

“Would you like to see the reason I’m looking so much healthier and happier.”

He watched me curiously and then it clicked and a genuine smile flashed. Everything was going to be ok.

“Golly I haven’t seen Mark in a while.” He laughed, trying to walk past me. Colour drained from my face and I pushed my dad back, fear now pumping through my veins.

“Dad.” I said warily.

“Charlene, stop being silly now, I’d like to see the chap who will no doubt be family one day.” He winked and tried to walk past again.

“Dad, stop.” I croaked which instantly stopped him.

“Princess, what’s wrong?”

“Dad.” I croaked again and his eyebrow rose along with my heart rate. I wanted out. I didn’t like where this was going. “Dad, it isn’t Mark.”

That’s when his smile dropped. “Oh?” His questioning tone was never good. “Then who?”

I looked away and gulped, wondering why I was so scared.

“No.” He snarled.

He knew.

“Yes.” I whispered in response, looking up into his anger ridden gaze.

His jaw tightened and his face slowly darkened. My eyes began to blur and my body slowly shook.

“I love him.” I whispered.

“Is he here?” He snarled again. “Charlene answer me! Is that disgusting excuse for a human being in my own home?!” He yelled and I then heard footsteps come flying down the corridor before the door flew open revealing my mum and Nick.

My dad’s head flew up and his eyes pinned to Nick. “You.” He growled. “Who do you think you are?” He continued as he walked slowly over to Nick. I ran to Nick and draped my arm over his chest, whimpering as I clung to him. “You think you can just toy with my daughters heart for the fun of it?!” He yelled, moving ever closer to Nick. I had never in my life seen my father this angry before and truth me told, it petrified me. I was seeing the side of him that his army cadets saw. A side of terror and intimidation. “I told you to stay away from her! I warned you what would happen if you came after my family again!”

“With all due respect sir-”

“Don’t give me that bullshit.” My dad spat which only ignited something within me.

“Don’t you dare speak to him like that.” I said lowly, my eyes now dark with fury. “Do not speak to him as if he is beneath you.”

“He always will be and there is not doubt about that.” He and Nick had still not dropped the eye contact and I could see fear in my mother who was standing behind my father.

“No!” I yelled and then my fathers eyes were on me. “Who the hell do you think you are?! This man is the love of my life and you speak to him like he is a piece of shit?!”

“Because he is! He broke your heart and being the naive little fool that you are, you let him back into your life again! You’re just a stupid little girl who has never been capable of running her own life! You’re a mess Charlene!”

I went to yell back but Nick’s gentle voice caught me off guard. “Why would you say that to your own daughter?”

Even my mum was struck by the tenderness of his voice.

“I would never dream of saying things like that to the one’s I love.” He continued.

“Oh yes, but fucking other women is so much better, Nick?!”

“I have had to live with my drunken actions for the last 5 years of my life. Don’t pretend you haven’t read all of the articles about how dark and screwed up I was.”

“Am.” My dad corrected with a spiteful glare.

Nick continued as if my dad’s words didn’t affect him though I knew they would have, but his strength and courage just proved why I loved him so much. “You know deep down that Charlene needs me just as much as I do her but you just can’t admit that your own flesh and blood would associate themselves with someone like me.”

“Don’t tell me what I ought to feel. You don’t deserve to be anywhere near my family, especially not Charlene. She finds the perfect man for her and then you come along and spit on everything like you always do. She falls for the perfect English gentlemen who-”

“Shut up! Just shut up, dad! If you love England so bloody much then move back there as soon as you are done with your work here! You have this ‘amazing’ plan for us to all move back and live this little fairytale but it won’t happen, dad! I’m 22 years old and won’t be pushed around by you anymore. I love Nick and I will be with him regardless of where we are or what the future has in store for us. My life is with Nick now, not as your puppet.”

His face was unchanged.

“As much as you may hate this little fact, Charlene; you are my daughter and that will never change. I only want what is best for you and he is not it.”

I sobbed and tears continued to stream down my cheeks, my heart breaking with every passing second. Nick pulled me into his chest and I clung onto him for dear life, wanting him to take all of my pain away like he always could.

“Why can’t you just be happy for them?” I sniffled and looked over Nick’s large biceps to see my mother now standing beside us, her hand on Nick’s back. “Charlene is happy and with the man you must have known that she would somehow end up with. The man I know is perfect for our daughter. Surely her happiness comes before your male pride.”

My dad breathed heavily, everyone watching as his anger boiled. “Claire, not now.” He said through gritted teeth, glaring at my mum. He shot his eyes up to Nick and his words were full of venom as he spoke. “Get out of my house and never let me see you again. You do not want to know what I am capable of doing to you.”

“And you.” He spat as he turned his focus on me. “You’re a disgrace to this family.” He shook his head and scoffed to himself. “You’re not the daughter I brought up.”

I wiped beneath my eyes and stood up straight, still holding onto Nick. “And you’re not the father I know and love.” I said, looking him up and down before leaving the room with Nick’s hand firmly in mine.

“That’s right. Get out and never even think of coming back; you’re a fucking disgrace. You hear that? A disgrace!” He yelled before I heard him slam the study door.

Walking out to Nick’s car I noticed his grip on my hand tightening when all I wanted was for him to hold me close and never let go. Nick unlocked his car and held open the door for me but still didn’t drop my hand. I looked up at him timidly, sniffling as tears silently streamed down my face.

Without a word he dropped my hand and pulled me into him, so tight that I felt the air whoosh from my lungs. I only began to cry harder, knowing I was no doubt drenching his shirt at the same time. He wrapped his arms even tighter around me as I cried, covering my entire body with his. I just wanted to melt into him and escape from everything. Was happiness too much to ask for?

“Tell me everything’s going to be ok. Please, Nick.” I whispered, my face pressed to his chest.

He didn’t reply.

“Nick, please.” I begged, looking up at him to see him staring back once more.

“I can’t tell you something that I’m not sure of. I can’t tell you that your dad will ever approve of me or us together. I can’t lie to you, Charlene.”

“Please.” I whispered again, my voice full of sadness and devastation.

“No.” His voice croaked as he shook his head gently. “I love you and that is the only thing I am certain of right now.”

Sobbing, my body began to shake and Nick just held on tighter whilst trying to be strong for me. But I could feel his heart beating heavily beneath my palms and I knew he had been more affected by the argument than he was letting on. He’d never been one to show weakness.

“Why?” I cried, a heart wrenching sob leaping from my throat. “Why is it too much to ask that things go our way for once?”

My eyes opened when I felt Nick’s hands on my cheek, pulling me back ever so slightly so he could look into my swollen and blurry eyes. “But they have.”

“No they haven’t, Nick.” I sobbed again, my throat now beginning to burn as I felt it growing more raw with every breath.

“Well if that’s true.” He pressed a kiss to my forehead, allowing his lips to hover there. “Then how come we have been blessed with another shot at this? How come we are still just as crazy in love as we were five years ago, regardless of the circumstances and barriers we’ve had to overcome?”

“Because we’re meant to be together.” I whispered, pressing my hands into his chest, his heart still beating fast.

“Exactly. I don’t know when or if everything will ever work out perfectly, but one thing I can promise you is that I will always love and be here for you ok?”

I didn’t say anything so he lowered his head even further, his eyes level with mine. “Ok?”

“Ok.” My hushed voice replied before he hugged me again whilst bending down, allowing me to rest my chin on his shoulder. But at that very moment I opened my eyes and froze as I saw my father in the living room staring back at me. Even from the driveway I could see the fury and resentment in his eyes and it was the first time in my life that I had seen such a look directed at me. The harder I stared at him, the clearer his eyes became and I could feel tears welling in my own as I continued to study him.

The look in his eyes was something of disgust, betrayal and as much as I didn’t want to admit it; hatred. He was no longer the man that had raised and loved me; he was a stranger.

I’d chosen and he couldn’t accept it. I’d made my priorities very clear and he couldn’t grasp that he was not my number one.

But I think the hardest thing for him to accept, being a passionate family man, was that I had chosen Nick.

I had chosen Nick over my own family; my own flesh and blood.