Moving On Up

Nick POV

I waited until I knew Charlene and Mark had gone before pulling back from Katie, seeing her dark, lust filled eyes looking back at me. “I’ll drop you off.”

“Baby.” She pouted, trailing her hands down my chest. “I want to stay with you tonight. That big bed in my hotel can get awfully lonely.” She slipped her hands under my shirt and slowly rubbed my abs, biting down on her bottom lip the whole time.

“I just want some time with my thoughts tonight.” I said.

“But baby.”

“For fucks sake Katie, just give me some god damn space.” I spat, pulling her hands from my chest and dragging her towards the lift.

“Why are you being like this suddenly? You were all over me a minute ago.” She whispered.

I rolled my eyes, groaning as she began sniffling. I hailed a cab and stepped in after her. It was quiet the whole way to her hotel and when we pulled up she slowly leaned over for a kiss. “Goodnight Katie.” I said coldly. She whimpered and stepped out, quickly running inside.

“Girlfriend troubles?” The cab driver asked.

“Why don’t you just shut up and do your fucking job.” I growled. He rolled his eyes but I couldn’t be arsed to question him about his attitude. I threw some money into his hand and stepped out, trudging the steps to the huge building that I lived in.

“Goodevening Mr Jonas.” The doorman said and as expected, I ignored him. I got into the elevator and mentally cursed when two young kids were in there. Great and I was the penthouse apartment which meant I was stuck with these people.

“Excuse me, could we get your autograph?” The little girl asked.

“Sure.” I mumbled, taking the sharpie and signing their shirts.

“Can we get a picture with you as well?”

“Is an autograph not enough for you kids?”

The little boys’ bottom lip started shaking and his sister stared at me in shock. The doors opened, signally their floor and they quickly got out, the boy bursting into tears.

“Thank the lord!” I yelled once we reached my floor. I walked down to my apartment which was the only one on the entire floor. The joys of being rich. I slammed the door behind me and started breathing heavily.

Thoughts of Charlene and Mark swam through my head. Them kissing over the table, holding hands, looking into each others eyes lovingly. It was sickening. I screamed and threw the coffee table on its head, everything on it smashing to the floor. I was now heaving and filled with rage, needing to vent somehow. I picked up a baseball bat from the kitchen and went on a rampage, smashing everything in sight.

After trashing practically the entire house I ran into the spare bedroom that held all of Charlene and I’s memories. I let out a loud scream and began kicking and smashing everything in sight. Every single picture on the wall felt the impact of my baseball bat as glass shattered all around me. I picked up one of the boxes and threw it across the room, hearing the smashing of everything inside. I fell to my knees and screamed as a sharp piece of glass entered my knee. I cursed and yanked it out, bringing on even more pain. I then looked down to see my bloody knee pressed into a photo. I picked it up and sobbed at what I saw. It was a picture of Charlene and I and the love we had for each other was crystal clear. I had my face buried into her neck, my lips pressed to her skin. She was laughing and squirming away but my arms could be seen around her chest. I then flicked to the picture behind it and sobbed again.

Charlene’s fingers were tangled in my hair as she lay on top of me in a huge field where we were surrounded by daisies. Sara had taken the picture as soon as Charlene had pushed me down and jumped on top of me. I remember saying a sarcastic comment about her hair being greasy which I knew would get to her. As usual, it had escalated into a full blown kiss and we had blocked out Sara and Henry’s presence like we always did.

My hands began to tremble and I fell backwards on my behind, bringing my knees up to my chest. I looked timidly around the destroyed room, at all of the memories I had ruined. My entire house was trashed but all I could think about was this room and the damage I had done.

“What have I done?” I whimpered. “What have I done?!” I screamed.

…

“Oh I hope they know how to get here.” Katie said as we sat in a diner in the upper east side of New York. Her leg was bouncing under the table and it took all of my patience not to yell at her. I placed my hand on her leg to stop the movement and smiled at her, thanking the lord when she smiled back and relaxed. “Oh there they are.”

I turned my head to see Mark and Charlene enter, their hands intertwined with Mark leading the way. As expected, Charlene looked amazing. She was wearing black skinny jeans and a long blue trench coat which set off her dark hair. She had a large grey scarf tucked into her jacket which snaked around her neck. I’d never seen a scarf look so good on someone.

“Hi, sorry we’re late.” Mark smiled as they reached our table. I got up and hugged him, giving me an opportunity to look at Charlene even closer up. Beautiful was all I saw.

Charlene stepped around Mark and over to Katie who jumped up and hugged her, telling her she looked amazing. Charlene sat opposite Katie, meaning she was sitting as far away as she could from me on the table so I ended up opposite Mark.

“I’d just like to apologise for last week. I don’t know what came over us.” I chuckled, resting my hand on Katie’s on the table for Charlene to see.

“Oh, its fine.” Mark smiled though I knew he wasn’t impressed with how I acted. He was just too much of a gentleman to call me out on it. “I hope you two had a good night after we left.”

Katie and I just nodded. Maybe I should have spoken up. ‘Actually, I sent Katie to her hotel, went home and trashed the place including all of the memories I shared with Charlene. Yes, the same Charlene you sleep with every night. Didn’t she tell you we were once engaged? Oh and Mark, did you know I’m the one to hold her virginity? Oh, she didn’t tell you that either! God, what else has she not told you!’ That would have gone down a treat. But then I looked over at Charlene who was listening to something Katie was saying about her elementary school students, and I couldn’t bring myself to do it. She was smiling and nodding her head at everything Katie said, asking her questions even though she probably didn’t give a shit either way.

“Babe, do you not want to take off your scarf?” Mark asked once Katie had finished speaking. I didn’t like how well Charlene and Katie were getting along one bit.

“No, I’m good. It’s like having a blanket around my neck.” She grinned and so did Mark, just before he leant over and pecked her lips.

Just as he settled into his seat, his phone buzzed in his pocket, a loud ringtone filling the table. He pulled it out and rolled his eyes at the screen.

“I’m so sorry, but I’m going to have to take this.” He smiled apologetically at us, kissing Charlene again before leaving the table and heading outside.

Katie started speaking about something and Charlene and I sat there listening to her, though I doubted either of us were really taking it in.

“Excuse me; I just need to visit the little girl’s room.” Katie smiled and slid from her seat, walking off to the bathroom.

I looked up at Charlene to see her looking at me for what felt like the first time. Butterflies instantly formed in my stomach and I could feel my palms begin to sweat. What was wrong with me?

“You look well.” She said quietly.

“Yeah, well looks can be deceiving.” I said back, smiling weakly. “I wanted to apologise for last week at the dinner.”

“You already apologised Nick, its fine.”

“No, I was an ass that night. It just caught me off guard.”

“Me too.” She whispered.

There was silence again and I reached over and placed my hand on hers. That certainly caught her off guard. “I want us to go out together.”

“Are you trying to be funny?” She scoffed, trying to pull her hand from mine but I tightened my grip.

“Not like that. I’m not stupid; you are clearly head over heels for Mark.”

“And you’re with Katie.” Oh shit, I forgot about that.

“Yes, I’m with Katie.” I let out a heavy breath. “I want us to catch up. Whatever you want; coffee, dinner, whatever; but just you and me. We have a lot to talk about and you know it.”

She pulled her hand from the grip I had on it and she lightly shook her head. “I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”

“Why not?”

“I just think we should leave the past in the past. Besides, since you were so keen to have these double dates, we will see each other a few more times before Mark and I leave again.”

“Leave the past in the past?” I scoffed, feeling my anger boiling. “That’s bullshit. I know you want us to speak, just as much as I do.”

“Don’t speak to me like that.” She spat and its then I remembered that unlike Katie, she never took any shit I threw at her and strangely, I had missed that. “You don’t know me Nick, it’s been freaking 4 years so don’t act like you know what I will or will not want to do. I have my own mind and won’t be pushed around by you.” She added and I knew she was referring to Katie. “And judging from the other night, you’ve clearly changed as well, or just gone back to how you always were.”

“Oh, so you were pissed off about that?” I smirked.

“No, I was disgusted and so was Mark but he’s too bloody polite to say anything. I refuse to meet up with you until I begin to at least recognise the Nick I once knew and loved.”

My smirk fell from my lips and I saw sadness in her eyes as she spoke that last line. She was right. We had both changed, but I had changed for the worst and I wanted to prove to her that I was still the same person she fell in love with. “Charlene-” I reached for her hand again but quickly pulled it back when Katie suddenly appeared at the table, making both Charlene and I jump.

“Those bathrooms are beyond nasty!” She laughed and sat down, not having a clue on what she had interrupted. Charlene sent me an apologetic look, as if to say sorry that she didn’t recognise me as ‘her Nick’; as if it were her fault.

A few minutes later the food came and Charlene waved at Mark from outside to come in. “Is everything ok?” She asked once he was seated again.

“No, one of the executives of JB Sports has been sacked and the deal we had is now up in the air.” He groaned. He looked over at Charlene and I saw a smile form on his lips and love radiate from his eyes. I remembered the feeling. No matter how angry or stressed I would become, I’d always looked into Charlene’s eyes and instantly relaxed. “But, I’m not going to let that ruin a perfectly good meal.”

Charlene smiled and rubbed his leg before taking a sip of her water. I couldn’t help but watch them for the entire meal and how perfect they seemed.

After the meal Katie told them that she just had to show them to the best ice cream store in all of New York. I didn’t know if they even wanted to go but they smiled and nodded, agreeing to go. Mark knew the district as well so didn’t have to hang back with me and Katie, making small talk.

Charlene and Mark walked ahead of us, their hands intertwined. Katie and I walked in a comfortable silence, with me watching the couple ahead whereas Katie glanced in the passing shop windows. Charlene said something and they both started laughing, leading Mark to lean down and kiss her lips before wrapping his arm around her. I then got a retched feeling in my stomach as I watched on. I knew they were in love, but when I really stopped to watch I could see it was real love. Their bond looked unbreakable and though I knew I was probably already out of the picture, I knew getting to Charlene would be close to impossible. It felt like she was millions of miles away, not a few feet away. Plus it didn’t help that Mark was the most likeable person I had ever come across. As nasty as it sounds, I would have preferred her be with a bastard meaning there was no competition. But if she were to be with anyone but me, he was the guy because he treated her like the princess that she was; my princess.

My princess. I still considered her mine even though I knew that was wrong.

“Aww, aren’t they cute.” Katie smiled at Mark and Charlene who were still ahead of us, whilst Katie linked her arm through mine.

“Yeah.” I whispered. “They are.”

…

“Well it was great seeing you guys again.” Mark said as he hugged me. I glanced over to see Katie saying goodbye to Charlene. Mark stepped past me to hug Katie, leaving me standing awkwardly with Charlene.

She smiled softly and nodded her head at me, waving slightly. I smiled weakly back. “Bye.” I said quietly.

“So, if you guys are up for another one of these that would be great.” Katie smiled. I knew she really like Charlene. It was almost as if she wanted to be like her, but who wouldn’t want to be like her; she was perfect.

“Maybe we should give them some space.” I said softly. Charlene’s eyes moved to mine and I tried to hold the contact as long as I could. “I’m sure they want some time to themselves without us butting in.” Her eyebrows came together and I let out a deep breath, staring back. “Maybe we’ll see you around.”

“We’ll see how things go.” Mark said. Charlene and I had clearly forgotten about those around us.

“Yep. We’ll see if fate wants us to come together again.” I chuckled, though Charlene picked up on it. Katie and Mark laughed but Charlene didn’t. She remembered our conversation from graduation just as clearly I did.

“Nick, what don’t you get? We’re not together anymore, you chose that. Even if I didn’t have a, a boyfriend we would still be in this predicament. I think we just need time out to reassess our feelings for each other and then decide what is best in a few years. Fate will decide if we meet again.”

“But what if fate decides to be a bitch?” I said. She chuckled and placed her hands on my chest and slowly rubbed the material of my gown. I could still remember the feelings of her hands stroking the soft fabric, her fingers trickling down my chest, as if it were only yesterday.

“Fate will do what is best. It always does, you just have to have faith.”

I looked up and saw Charlene staring at me and much to my surprise, I could see her eyes had gotten slightly wet with emotion. She had definitely remembered the conversation.

That night I spend hours going through pictures and videos of me and Charlene in happier times, remembering when my life was perfect and I had the girl of my dreams. I picked up a case I could never remember seeing before and looked inside to see a blank DVD, no indication for what was on it. I frowned and stood up, shuffling into the living room and putting it in the DVD player.

The clip began with a hand over it and some laughing in the background. “How do you work this stupid thing?”

I laughed as I listened to Henry trying to figure out the camera. It turned and was suddenly looking into his face; he smiled then turned the vision to Sara who was playing twister by herself. My ears perked up when I heard Charlene’s laughter. The door opened to the living room and in walked Charlene, wrapped under my arm. I stared, feeling my vision blurring at the love we once shared.

Charlene grinned when she saw twister and quickly joined in. I chuckled as I noticed every single one of the moves I took, meant I was closer to her. By the end of the game Charlene was doing the crab and I was above her, trying to intimidate her to fall so I could win. I didn’t even remember this day, but it just shows how many precious memories we shared that this was just one of the millions. Charlene lifted her head and pressed her lips to mine and I smiled as I watched on, feeling like I was invading a private moment. I laughed when Charlene suddenly bucked her hips into mine, sending me falling to the ground. She stood up and cheered.

“Victory!” She high fived Sara and they both laughed at me as I remained on the floor scowling at them.

“Henry, she gets disqualified!” I screeched, standing up and stepping to the camera.

“What? No I don’t, there was no rules against it!” Charlene said, stepping closer to me. I chuckled to myself as I watched me and Charlene staring each other down, neither refusing to give in.

“Fine.” I had grabbed Charlene’s hips and pulled her against me, smirking down at her. “I demand a rematch, and this time you get to be on top.” Charlene grinned as well at my sexual innuendo and Henry began yelling.

“No, no, no! Not in my house you don’t!” His hand covered the camera and then the film ended, not before the laughter of me and Charlene filled my ears.

Without realising what I was doing I began to cry. I lay down on the couch and sobbed into a pillow, feeling nothing but pain. I heard my phone ringing from beside me and slowly pulled it out, frowning when I saw a private number coming through.

“Hello?” I croaked, not caring it was obvious I had been crying. It was completely silent and then I heard some light breathing. “Who is this?” Still nothing. “Fine, I’m hanging up.” Just as I was about to end the call I heard it.

“Nick?” She breathed. My eyes widened and I screwed the phone to my ear, gripping it insanely tight.

“Charlene?” I whispered.

“Hey Nick.” She whispered back. There was no talking for a few minutes and we just stayed listening to each other breathing. “I’m sorry if I’m calling too late.”

“No, no, it’s fine, don’t apologise.” I didn’t mention that I had been dreaming of this moment for years, hearing her voice and having her reaching out to me. “Was something wrong?”

“Yes.”

“What is it?” I asked, instantly concerned as I ran my fingers through my hair, ready to run over to her hotel and ensure she was ok.

“I need to apologise.”

“Apologise? For what?”

“For being rude at lunch today. I shouldn’t have snapped at you and spoken to you the way I did, it was rude and disrespectful and I’m sorry.”

“Charlene, you didn’t do anything wrong. I wasn’t taking your feelings into consideration, I get that it’s a shock to see me again but I didn’t think about how it was making you feel so I am the one that is sorry.”

“That’s it though. I’ve been so thrown out of the loop seeing you again. It’s been 4 years and now you are suddenly everywhere I turn, I mean there is a huge billboard with your face on it just over the street from my hotel.” She chuckled, and reminded me how much I had missed her laughter.

“Have you seen the one in times square?”

She laughed again. “Yes, I’ve seen that monster billboard as well.” I laughed at the amusement in her voice.

“Nick.” Her tone was suddenly serious and I gulped, not liking where this was going.
“Nick, can I ask you an honest question?”

“Go ahead.”

“Do you think it is for the best we don’t see each other again?”

“Nick, are you still there.” She added when all she heard was my heavy breathing.

“Yeah, I’m here.” I whispered. “Honestly, I need to see you. It may not be good for us but it’s what I need. You probably don’t need to clear the air as much as I do, but we both know there are a lot of unanswered questions.”

“I just don’t want to get into something I’m better off out of.”

“Charlene, all I am asking for is one meal together. I just need to know some things but I can’t do that over the telephone. One meeting and then you can decide if you want to speak to me ever again.”

“You still there?” I chuckled at how the tables had turned.

“Yeah, I’m here.” Her breathing was the only thing to fill the line and the tension was slowly tearing my heart apart. “Can you do tomorrow? Mark has a conference and I can say I’m going out with Sara and Henry.”

“That sounds amazing.” I wanted to thank her for meeting me but that would make me look desperate, as if I was begging. “I can send a cab to your hotel if you like; bring you straight to my apartment.”

“To your apartment? I don’t know if that’s such a great idea.”

“Its just that we could get photographed if we are out together and that would look mighty weird since we are not supposed to know each other all that well.” I said quickly, trying to hang onto the meeting with dear life.

“Ok.” She sighed softly. “Your apartment it is.”

I gave her my address and she agreed to swing by tomorrow at about noon.

“So I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

“Definitely; I’ll cook us something for lunch.”

“Oh no, you don’t have to do that.”

“But I want to.” I said softly, placing my hand on the window and staring out into the city, feeling so alone in such a huge and heavily populated city.

“Then I look forward to it. Goodnight Nick.” She said timidly, a far cry from the strong and defensive woman at lunch.

“Goodnight Charlene.” She put the phone down. “I love you.” I whispered into the dead phone line. “I love you so much.”