She's Dancing Alone

Okay who the fuck is at my door now? I groaned, slumping to my door. I unlocked the wooden gateway and opened it to reveal Zack and Rian stood before me. It appeared smart casual was all the craze as I took in their attire.

“Can I help you?” I asked with one eyebrow raised. Zack smiled, looking backwards towards Rian to prompt him to speak.

“We’re your ride for tonight,” Rian nodded with a straight face. I whined, shifting on to one foot and leaning against the door.

“Rian I already told you I wasn’t going,” I rolled my eyes abandoning the door and allowing the boys to wander inside.

“Brianna you can’t miss out on this. It’s your homecoming party, and Carolyn’s. Do you really want to let her down?” Zack ask as I slumped over the side of the sofa.

“No,” I replied feeling guilty and pushing myself up on my side. “I’m just really tired,” I lied stretching my arms out as if I were serious.

“Then you can just show up, make an appearance then leave,” Rian smiled.

“I’m not getting out of this am I?” I muttered to which both boys shook their heads. I groaned, standing up and moving over to the door that was still swung fully open.

“Come on, it won’t be that bad,” Zack smiled reassuringly as he walked past me. I returned the smile before turning my attention to Rian. He swiftly grabbed my keys from the coffee table and moved his arm behind me, flipping off the light switch and shooing me outside so he could close and lock the door. I sighed; dropping my eyes and watching my feet kick the sidewalk as I made my way to Rian’s car. I leaned against the door to the back seat. Zack mimicked my actions, leaning against the door to the passenger’s seat next to me. I lifted my head from the car to look at him properly to which he did the same causing both of us to laugh light-heartedly.

“You know,” I began shifting my weight from the car onto my feet. “I don’t think I ever saw you with your natural hair colour. You and Jack were always skunk children,” I teased.

“Hilarious,” he rolled his eyes. “I’ve not changed that much, have I?” He asked glancing over his frame.

“You’re kidding me right? I’d say the only one who hasn’t changed drastically is Rian. You and the others used to look so awkward before,” I chuckled.

“Yeah, Alex was the worst of us though. Jack’s just stayed awkward,” he commented making me laugh.

“It’s true. Alex looked like a total loser in high school. Now, dare I say it? He looks kinda hot,” I shrugged as Rian unlocked the doors and I slid into the seat after quietly opening my door.

“Slow down Brianna Lisa’s gonna be there,” Zack laughed with raised eyebrows before opening his own door and taking a place in front of me. The car journey was silent. I absently played with my fingers, listening to the sounds of Runner Runner leaking from the stereo as I vacantly watched the passing trees. I eventually sighed, snapping myself from my thoughts and actually took in my surroundings. I frowned when I saw unfamiliar trees on the wrong side of town.

“I thought the party was at Alex’s house?” I merely mumbled staring out of all windows.

“Oh no, he didn’t want a tonne of people in his apartment considering the layout so Jack offered to host it in his instead,” Rian explained glancing at me in the rear view mirror. I sighed quietly and let my eyes shut.

“Okay,” was all I said as I sat back in my seat and leaned my chin on my hand.

“Hey guys, nice to see you all. I see the other boarder has joined us, welcome,” Jack smirked holding the door open. I grimaced at the stench of alcohol on him, but clearly the amount he was used to consuming meant he was no more than tipsy at this point in the night.

“Hi Jack,” I muttered slipping past him as the others did the same. “Girly!” I grinned walking over to Carolyn and Lisa and exchanging hugs with them both before taking a place next to them on the couch.

“Pay no attention to me then,” Alex smirked as he walked over from where he was leaned on the wall parallel to the sofa.

“Well it’s not my fault I prefer my friends over you,” I teased as he pulled away and took a seat on the floor in front of us. I took a look around the apartment, noting that it was mainly open plan with the bedroom and bathroom being the only exception, and the kitchen was separated from the rest via a counter situated where a wall must have been at some point. It was modern and cosy.

“Everyone else should be arriving soon,” Jack informed us before strolling into the kitchen closely followed by the other guys. He wasn’t wrong.

Within an hour the party was in full swing and all the guests had arrived to celebrate Carolyn and me returning. Many people were drinking, many people were drunk. High school parties looked amateurish in comparison to the party taking place around me. Carolyn and Zack had remained attached at the mouth for most of the night and I’d spent most of it stood alone. I sighed, moving through the mass bodies trying to look for my ride. I swung my head in different directions trying to find the one person who had managed to drag me here.

“Rian?” I asked approaching him when I saw him leaned against a counter talking to Kara, a few of her friends, and a few of his own. “Rian,” I sighed after finding him and catching his attention. “Do you know anyone else who could give me a ride back? I feel sick,” I commented slouching on my spot.

“Just go and find Jack, I’m sure he’ll take you back,” Rian shrugged causing me to raise my eyebrows.

“Okay?” I asked more than stated before turning and slouching off to find Jack. When I eventually found him he was leaned against a wall, his hand on the hip of an old school friend as he smirked down at her. For some reason the sight made my blood boil and anger washed over me. I had no right to be angry, but I was. This is exactly why he broke up with me, what he warned me would happen all those years ago. But for some reason seeing it right in front of me, right in the center of the party that was partly for me, the party which he had thrown, hurt more than I could have imagined. It ripped me open like a fresh wound. But I wasn’t feeling hurt. I was feeling resentment. I shook my head, turning around but making collision with another body.

“Oh god I’m so sorry!” I heard a familiar male voice call.

“Don’t worry about it,” I grinned glancing up at Jake. He looked up and noticed it was me, instantly breaking out in a grin.

“Brianna,” he greeted wrapping me in a hug. “It’s so good to see you!” He commented.

“I know! I’m so glad you came along. I missed you,” I pouted to which he chuckled and pulled away from the hug.

“Aw, I missed you too. I think everyone did. It’s so different without you, so what’s up?” he asked tilting his head slightly as he folded his arms over his chest and leaned on one foot causing his bangs to flop in front of his eyes.

“Actually I was just trying to leave,” I muttered dropping my eyes to my feet.

“How come?” He asked sounding baffled. I sighed, leaning my head back before gesturing over my shoulder at the pair. “Ah,” he muttered as his eyes fixed on the two.

“Yep,” was all I said before dropping my eyes back to my feet.

“Well come on, you can have fun without him. We’ve got a whole bunch of things to catch up on,” he grinned making me smile and totally forget about my previous worry. I followed him into the kitchen, where we stayed for some hours before the party began to die down just discussing what had happened over the past few years and just generally catching up. People were passed out, slung over others shoulders as they were carted from the premises and eventually there was only the few of us left. I hopped down off the countertop a few minutes after Jake had left and slumped in the direction of the coat rack to grab my purse. After pulling the strap off the hook I felt a pair of arms snake around my waist.

“Where are you going?” I heard a soft voice slur next to my ear. The stench of beer was prominent and I instantly froze up. I shook out of the male’s grasp and turned around to face him, slinging the strap of the purse over my shoulder.

“Home,” I simply stated looking at him blankly.

“Why?” He asked leaning against the wooden surface of the door and sending me a small but warm smile.

“Because that’s where my bed is,” I retorted dryly.

“But you came with Rian and Zack,” he commented looking confused. “Everybody else is staying here. We all agreed on it.”

“You’re kidding me aren’t you?” I asked incredulously. “I wasn’t even gonna show up, and now I have no ride home?” I asked waving my arms around as if it could change the situation at hand.

“You’re supposed to stay here too,” he smiled as if it were the most obvious answer and pushed himself off the door. I watched him walk away into his room and turned to the others who were setting out mattresses on the floor. I sent a glare in Rian’s direction to which he simply shrugged.

“Jesus man, if looks could kill,” Alex commented before returning to what he was arranging. Everyone’s sleeping arrangements were sorted in a matter of minutes. Of course, the couples shared mattresses and sheets, or in Alex and Lisa’s case, the sofa, and after a short while Jack disappeared into his room. Lisa grew tired, cuddling into Alex’s chest as he stroked her hair and gently drifted to sleep himself. Rian and Kara had long fallen asleep and Carolyn and Zack had been curled up, murmuring tired whispers until the two went silent and eventually fell asleep themselves. And so, I was the only one left awake. I picked up my cell phone from the laminate floor next to where I was lay and checked the time on the screen. It was almost four AM. I breathed a quit sigh and lay on my back just staring up at the ceiling. I heard quiet shuffling but chose to ignore it, thinking it to be nothing more than someone rolling in their sleep. After hearing the shuffling stop at the foot of where I was resting I tilted my head up, fixing my eyes on the figure leaning against the doorway.

“Jack?” I whispered causing a sleepy smile to appear on his lips before he pushed himself off the frame and came and sat up next to me. “How come you’re up?”

“I can’t sleep,” he replied just as quietly. At least I wasn’t the only one.

“So you came to talk to me?” I asked with one brow raised, the late hour causing me to forget why I’d previously been so mad at him. He dropped his eyes to the sheet I was lay under and shrugged his shoulders.

“I dunno. Just seeing everyone together,” he began referring to the couples asleep in various areas around the room. “Make me feel kinda lonely,” he confessed.

“I know how you feel,” I muttered wondering if it were actually loud enough for him to hear. His eyes lifted to meet mine once more.

“Do you want to, maybe, sleep with me? I don’t mean like that,” he quickly corrected himself before relaxing cautiously. “I mean literally, just sleep,” he finished. I studied his features, biting my lip in the process.

“Do you think that’s such a good idea?” I asked, shifting on one elbow to tuck my hair behind my ear. He shrugged once again but this time kept his eyes on me.

“I just feel kinda excluded, like I’m missing out on something because I don’t have anyone,” he confessed making my heart sink a bit as I tilted my head at him.

“Okay,” I answered as I pulled the sheets back. Jack took to his feet once again as I followed shortly after. My eyes quickly scanned over Jack’s room, but not long enough to take in detail. I moved to the nearest side of the bed, lying down and facing the wall a short distance from me. I felt the mattress sink on the other side and began to shut my eyes before I was pulled backwards and felt heat radiating from the body behind me onto my own, this alone caused my eyes to snap open.

I instantly froze up at Jack’s body being so close to mine when neither of us was wearing more than underwear and a shirt. His arms wound around my waist causing my breathing to hitch slightly before I felt him bury his face in my neck. I kept my breath held as I stayed rigid, waiting for something else to happen. Thankfully nothing did and I realised Jack really did just want to sleep, and nothing was wrong with sleeping how we were. My body relaxed slowly as I listened to Jack’s soft breaths. I knew he was awake, but we didn’t need to talk to drift into our dreams. I listened to his breathing, keeping a regular pattern which reminded me he wasn’t asleep. However the gentle pattern was soothing despite the cool chills brushing against my neck, so soothing that I not long after I was fighting to keep my eyelids open. I kept concentrating on the breaths until eventually the battle I was fighting was lost and I could feel my mind going completely blank. This had happened far too many times before, but it felt like a first experience all over again.