She's Dancing Alone

I awoke feeling more secure than ever. I turned around in the arms looped around my waist and looked at Jack. He stirred slightly before his eyes flickered open and he looked at me with a tired smile on his face. After the momentary happiness the memory soon clicked in that we were simply friends now. I shook my head. It was strange. Waking up like this like I had done so many times had made me forget that we were no longer lovers. It just seemed natural to be waking up next to him. I let out a low sigh and sat up letting his arm drop from around my side. I threw my legs over the side of the bed, letting my feet hit the cold surface of the floor before standing and walking towards the open door.

I could hear Jack moving from inside the room but ignored it. I made sure to be quiet as I stepped out into the room of sleeping bodies. They were all completely still in their places in one another’s arms. If it weren’t for the rising and falling of breaths within their chest anyone would have thought they were lifeless.

I continued to paces across the floor in the direction of the counter separating the kitchen from the living area. I heard footsteps hurry behind me and turned around to place a cautioning finger to my lips before turning back and continuing my short journey. I took a seat on one of the bar stools at the counter as Jack furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

“What are you doing?” He asked to which I simply shrugged. “Is something wrong?” He asked taking a seat from next to me and sitting faced fully towards me. I sighed, letting my fingers run through my hair before dropping to my lap.

“No. I’m fine,” I shook my head, sadly he didn’t look convinced. I rolled my eyes. “Seriously Jack, I’m fine,” I giggled quietly.

“Well something’s on your mind then,” he concluded. I simply bit my lip and tilted my head at him. “Tell me what you’re thinking,” he pleaded softly taking a hold on one of my hands and playing with my fingers. I didn’t see anything wrong with the contact; it was a simple gesture of security. I looked back up at him and debated on what part of the truth I should tell him.

“It’s just really overwhelming having you guys back,” I confessed.

“How so?” He asked pushing a strand of hair away from my face.

“I dunno,” I shrugged. “I go from not seeing you at all and now that we’re all together again it’s like nothing has changed,” I explained. “It’s like we’ve started senior year all over again,” I sighed. A weak smiled tugged at the corner of his lips before he dropped his eyes to our hands. He played with my fingers for a long moment; I suppose he was just wondering what to say.

“I know what you mean,” he mumbled before bringing his eyes back up to meet mine. “But you’re back from college. That means we can see each other a lot more,” he pointed out, hope apparent in his eyes to which I bit my lip.

“But Jack what happens after you start touring again?” I asked before looking across the counter at all the couples. “When will we ever be like this again?” I asked gesturing to everyone. He turned his attention to where mine was fixed and looked at everyone lay across the room clinging to each other’s arms in their coma like states. “You go into the studio in a few days, you’re gonna be busy all the time and then straight after you’re leaving for Warped Tour,” I commented before hanging my head and looking at my knees. I felt almost stupid for coming back home. I was feeling lonelier now than I was within those first few months of college and I was surrounded by all the people who supposedly cared for me at this point. Jack shifted in his seat and I could feel his arms wrap tightly around my shoulders. I leaned into his chest not wanting anything right now other than to be consoled.

“You can always come down to the studio; I know the other girls are,” he mumbled. I thought for a short moment, but there wasn’t much to be considered. I nodded against his chest and felt him smile into my hair before feeling him kiss my cheek and sit back down in his place. I turned my body in my place so we were both fully facing each other. “So now that everyone’s home I’m guessing you’ll be getting your certificate soon,” he assumed resting his hand on his cheek as his elbow pressed to the counter. I bit my lip nervously and nodded a little.

“It’s really strange. It’s worse than what it would be if I were actually there to see it,” I shrugged.

“I suppose it’s because you don’t know when it’s going to happen,” he concluded. I smiled and nodded once again before watching his face drop. He looked past me; I couldn’t read the expression on his face as he dropped his eyes. I furrowed my eyebrows and watched as he continued to frown into his lap.

“Jack?” I asked quietly. “What’s wrong?” I asked cautiously. He quit frowning and looked back up. I tried reading his eyes, seeing nothing. The look he had told me that he didn’t quite know what he wanted to say. He opened his mouth several times, finishing by biting down on his lip. I raised an eyebrow at him expectantly and waited for his reply.

“Brianna,” was all he managed to whisper before a loud yawn erupted from the sofa. I turned my attention to the living room seeing the tall brown haired sprawled across the sofa with his arms stretched in the air above his head so much so that his sleeping girlfriend was forced from his side and over the edge of the sofa. Mid fall she woke up and swung her arms frantically trying to claw her way back onto the sofa but fell miserably onto Rian and Kara’s legs who screamed and woke up.

“Shit! I’m so sorry!” Alex apologised pulling Lisa back up next to him who was laughing hysterically along with Kara and everyone else who had woken up in the process due to Kara’s shriek. I rolled my eyes and turned back to Jack.

“I’m sorry,” I apologised. “You were saying?” I prompted but he simply let out a low sigh along with a quick smile.

“It’s nothing,” he shook his head causing me to frown. I opened my mouth slightly to reply but was cut off when he spoke again. “I’m gonna go and get dressed,” he informed me as he stood from the stool. “Help yourself to anything,” he smiled before disappearing into his room and closing the door. I frowned at the painted surface before looking at the rest of the people in the living room. I took to my feet and carried myself over to the others sitting down on the mattress I had left in the early hours of the morning and joining in with the conversation. Conversation with Jack could be left until later.