She's Dancing Alone

Jack
I collapsed, rolling onto my back as the girl next to me gathered her breath. As always I was flooded with regret that my self-control had failed me once again.

“Fuck,” I muttered pressing my hands over my eyes. The girl however took this as a complement and wrapped her arm around my torso. I tensed almost instantly at the contact and could sense her looking at me. Too bad she didn’t move her fucking arm.

“Is there something wrong?” She asked. I let out a heavy sigh and pulled my hands from my eyes, shifting to cause her hand to move and drop to the mattress of the bunk.

“I’m sorry. This shouldn’t have happened,” I replied leaning my elbows on my knees and massaging my temples.

“What?” Came her bitter reply.

“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to do...that. Could you just leave?” I asked not caring how rude I sounded. With a mere scoff the girl got up and began to pick up her clothes and put them on. As soon as she was appropriately dressed she stormed out of the door we’d stumbled through close to an hour ago. I ran my fingers through my hair and stared at the ceiling of my bunk. “Fuck,” I repeated. What was I actually doing with my life? Sure, I was in a band and we were doing well. But relationship wise? I was fucked up. I hadn’t been more than friends with a girl since we started our first tour. It was hard but it got easier as time went along.

I still kept in touch with Brianna. Things weren’t awkward thankfully. After all it’d been three years so it shouldn’t be really. I found myself thinking about her every now and again, unfortunately whenever I did I found myself missing her. But I’d never tell her. She was happy, what right did I have to ruin that for her?

I shook my head to myself and picked whatever stray clothes were lying around me. After dressing myself I grabbed my cologne and sprayed it everywhere. Tossing it carelessly back onto the bed, I dragged myself from the bus to the rest of the guys that were still outside signing things and talking to fans. Upon walking outside I was immediately surrounded by fans, mostly underage girls. I groaned inwardly but forced a smile for all the pictures. After mingling with people and putting the gifts people had brought out into one hand Alex approached.

“Yo, man you ready for the after party?” He asked appearing over my shoulder causing some of the girls in front of me to go quiet and whisper excitedly to their friends.

“Yeah sure,” I answered feeling a sense of relief wash over me. “Guys I’m gonna have to go so I can only take a few more pictures,” I explained earning I few ‘yeah it’s cool’s and nods in understanding. After I figured I’d been sufficiently blinded by eager moms and shaky friends I said my goodbyes, gave a few hugs and made my way back to the bus. Alex was stood in the doorway, a bottle in hand and his back to the front window.

“Wassup my man,” he greeted. I simply nodded before moving past him. “Check this shit the fans got us,” he grinned holding up the bottle to reveal it was Jack Daniel’s.

“How much?” I asked sceptical as to why he was hording the bottle for himself.

“If Zack and Ri haven’t taken theirs then there are three over on the counter,” he pointed. I nodded and moved in the direction. Sarcasm aside alcohol was a good way of dealing with things. I probably sound like someone who depends on drinking to keep him sane but seriously, if it helps me to forget things it’s good.

After finishing the Jack and polishing off a few other drinks we’d found lying around we were verging tipsy. A couple of the guys from some of the other bands we were playing with decided to come out to our bus and joined in on the fun. Vinnie, Matt and a few more members of our merch team and crew joined us soon after. Thinking there was enough people to amuse themselves I removed myself from the group and headed in the direction of my bunk. I sat inside and closed the curtain before taking my cell phone from my pocket. I’d made sure I’d stayed fairly sober so no one aside from the guys would pick up that I’d been drinking. As I typed in the numbers I could feel my chest clenching as it usually would. I pressed the device to my ear and within no time I heard a voice.

“Hello?”

“Hey,” I grinned to myself scratching my chin. I should probably shave.

“Hey Jack,” came her chirpy voice. “How’s tour going?” She inquired.

“It’s good, we just finished getting attacked by teenagers so I think the rest of the night’s gonna be good,” I smiled. The next thing I heard was her soft laughter flooding my end of the line.

“Awesome. So I suppose it’s gonna be another party for you now?” She asked.

“Of course, how could you expect any less from us? You went to high school with three of us,” I commented.

“True. And I’m predicting whereas you and Alex will be totally shitfaced Zack and Rian are gonna be more sensible with their fluids.”

“Ooh harsh.”

“It could be worse,” she sighed.

“How’s college going?” I asked changing the subject.

“I honestly can’t wait until it’s over. It’s driving me insane,” she groaned.

“But you’ve only got a while longer right?” I asked tilting my head and running my fingers along the top of the bunk. “In fact how long is there left for you?”

“Two weeks give or take.” My eyes shot wide open.

“Are you serious?” I half yelled.

“Yeah. About sixteen days or something. Why?”

“It just didn’t seem that soon,” I whispered. I heard her chuckle lightly before taking in a deep breath.

“When are you done with tour?” She asked.

“Our last date’s on the seventeenth and then we’re coming home for a while,” I answered. “I dunno how long but we’ve gotta go into the studio to see how the record’s coming along and we’ll be rehearsing at Alex’s.”

“Sweet. Think I could come and see you?” She asked.

“Of course you can,” I smiled. “What are your plans when you get home?”

“I dunno. I think I may just take a break then see what I really wanna do with my life. I’m gonna take it slow.”

“Sounds like a plan,” I whispered for some reason grinning at her choice. At that point Alex yanked the curtain back and chuckled to himself.

“Dude come on you gotta see this. Trace is out of it,” he giggled.

“Can it wait?” I sighed.

“No! Come on!” He yelled running back into the front lounge. I let out another sigh of disappointment and sat o the edge of the mattress.

“Have to go?” She asked.

“Afraid so,” I replied hoping she wouldn’t be able to tell how disappointed I truly was.

“Go enjoy yourself. I’ll speak to you tomorrow,” she reasoned.

“Okay...” I reluctantly replied.

“Bye Jack,” she chirped.

“Bye Brianna,” I smiled. I kept the phone to my ear until I could hear her hang up and the tone filled my end of the line. I shook my head and placed the phone back in my pocket before getting up and walking back into the lounge. Cassadee and Jersey from Hey Monday had now joined us and were sat on the sofa laughing at Trace from Metro Station attempting to pull himself up from off the floor just as Alex had described. I rolled my eyes but found myself smiling as I went and took a seat down next to Matt who was laughing along with the others. Sure I couldn’t wait ‘til tour was over so I could see my familyand Brianna but I knew I was gonna miss these guys.