She's Dancing Alone

I sat down in my last class for the day, chemistry. I was situated near the back. Curtis arrived shortly after and took a seat next to me.

“What’s up girly?” He asked ruffling my hair. I groaned inwardly and began to flatten my bangs.

“I can’t wait to leave you behind,” I grumbled earning a scowl from my left. “I just want to go home,” I sighed leaning my head forward across the desk and draping my arms either side of me.

“Well this is your last class of the year. Then we graduate,” he shrugged. “It’s only a couple of days.”

“It’s nearly a full week until I get to go home though!” I whined looking back up at him.

“What’s got you wanting to go home so bad?” He asked with a small smile on his face.

“I just miss everyone so bad,” I mumbled leaning my cheek on my hand as sadness enveloped me at the thought of their smiling faces.

“I’m gonna miss you y’know. You’ve been fun,” Curtis smiled. I let out another small sigh and returned the smile.

“I’ll miss you all too. Hey maybe we can-”

“Manage me, I'm a mess. Turn a page, I'm a book half unread,” erupted from my bag cutting me off as my cheeks burned.

“Fuck,” I muttered as I fished through my bag. I quickly pressed a button to silence the noise and ignored the text as I pressed the power button.

“What is her obsession seriously,” I heard a girl from the row behind us mutter to her friend. I furrowed my eyebrows and turned to Curtis whose expression mirrored mine.

“I’m sorry what was that?” Curtis asked with a sense of frustration to his voice.

“No.” I mouthed firmly to him.

“Whatever,” the girl, Isabelle, muttered as her friend sent us both death glares.

“Seriously girls, if you don’t have the guts to back up your comments, don’t comment in the first place,” Curtis added causing me to kick him under the desk.

“No.” I repeated just as sternly.

“Sorry but I’m thinking everyone’s getting bored of her and Carolyn obsessing over that band and claiming to know them,” she scoffed. I turned around with an utterly confused expression on my face.

“What are you talking about?” I asked as if she were stupid.

“Save it Brianna,” she mumbled.

“What do you mean ‘claiming to know’?” Curtis explained to which both girls laughed. Her friend, Heather I think, was the next to speak.

“Do you seriously expect us to believe that a band as big as All Time Low is tight with a random girl that just happens to go to our college? If you ask me she’s just one of those obsessed little fan girls who likes to make up shit,” she spat. At her words I could feel my chest ache. My biggest fear was losing the guys, having them get so famous it’d all go to their heads and they’d just forget about me. When I thought about it, Nothing Personal was one of the most anticipated albums of the year. Each guy had over thirty-thousand followers on twitter. I’d only seen the guys once since I’d started college due to them being so strict on holidays. If things escalated any further I could just be another one of those girls. I could feel my breath hitch in my throat as the argument grew more heated and more people got involved.

“What the fuck? She dated Jack, he broke her fucking heart!” Curtis growled.

“Does she have anyone to back her up other than Carolyn?”

“I’m pretty sure whatever they say they can back up unlike you cheap whores.”

“Hey that’s my friend you’re talking about!”

“Oh please they couldn’t back up shit. What have they got? A guitar pick that they ‘caught at a show’,” Isabelle snarled using air quotes.

“Hey bitch you don’t know what evidence they have or haven’t got!”

“At least Carolyn and Brianna have more decency than to split their legs to a different guy each week!”

“From what I’ve heard they’re claiming they split their legs for those band guys.”

“You shut the fuck up!” I screamed rising from my chair with fists balled at my sides.

“Miss Ashton!” I heard my name called. I ignored it and sent daggers at the girls before tears pored over and I sat back in my seat. Curtis pulled me into his side and I kept my sobs muffled as the tutor made his way over. “Brianna is everything okay?” He whispered bending down to my level as spectators began to break into whisper and the people backing me up crowded around us. I let out a sob slightly louder than I’d wanted and buried my face into Curtis’ shoulder before any more sounds could escape me.

“Those girls just hit a nerve. They’ve really upset her,” Curtis explained placing a hand on my back to reassure me that he was there for me.

“Is this a personal issue?” The tutor asked.

“Yeah, they brought up some troubles back home and broadcasted their opinions,” Curtis almost snarled as he recalled the events.

“Brianna?” The tutor began turning his attention back to me. I didn’t answer. “Do you want to head back to your dorm room? You can take a friend if you like,” he offered. I pulled back, holding my breath and shook my head. Before anything more could be said I quickly packed my stuff back away and fled from the room. As soon as I got out of the class and walked down the halls I let my tears flow and my sobs quietly escape. When I reached my room I burst in and locked the door behind me.

I screamed and fell to my knees. I couldn’t help feeling so weak at my current situation. I didn’t care that people thought I was faking. I didn’t care that people thought I was a slut. What really got to me was my biggest fear becoming a reality. I ripped my bag open, shakily picking out my phone at a frantic pace and attempting to press the right buttons as my vision became clouded. Finally getting the combination right I thrust the phone to my ear and waited. Each ring seemed to last a minute and eventually there was a voice on the other end.

“Hello?” came his sweet voice.

“What’s my middle name?” I asked not even trying to disguise my scratchy throat.

“Brianna? What’s wrong why are you crying?” He asked, worrying flooding into his tone.

“What’s my middle name?” I repeated more sternly.

“Emma, now will you tell me what’s wrong?” He asked trying to seem calm.

“What happened when I was six years old?” I asked avoiding his question.

“Brianna please tell me what’s-”

“Answer me, please Jack,” I begged letting myself go limp.

“You had a cat called Molly who died but your mom said she ran away,” he stuttered.

“How many cousins do I have?”

“Three: Jamie, Ashley and Tyson.”

“What did I get you for your seventeenth birthday?”

“A guitar pick signed by Mark Hoppus.”

“Tom! Tom! It was Tom!” I half screamed letting my cries choke out once more.

“Brianna what’s going on? Seriously you need to tell me what’s wrong. I want to help you, please Bri you’re scaring me,” he pleaded.

“I miss you Jack. I miss you all so much. I hate it here,” I confessed. “They all think I’m lying about you, they think I’m a whore. They all hate me,” I recalled gripping my nails into the carpet as if it would relieve my pain.

“Anna, calm down. Please,” he whispered calmly. I went quiet quickly, looking at the material balled in my fingers and slowly let go, letting myself catch my breath.

"I want to go home,” I muttered.

"Then go,” was his simple answer.

"It isn't that easy," I sighed leaning back against the wall.

"Yes it is. Nothing's holding you back. I'll come and see you," he reasoned.

"You mean that?" I asked feeling the aching die down.

"If you want me to." I could almost see him shrugging on the other end of the line.

"Only if it isn't a problem," I replied cautiously hoping he’d come no matter what.

"Not at all." I could hear the smile in his voice.

"Jack?"

"Yes?"

"I love you," I replied subconsciously instantly regretting it as soon as I heard myself.

“You... You do?” He replied seeming taken aback.

“Well... yeah, you’re my best friend,” I recovered hoping I sounded convincing enough. God this was like senior year all over again.

“Oh, yeah, of course. You’re my best friend too Brianna,” he replied softly. I let out a low sigh and ran my fingers through my hair, feeling disappointment surge through me. “So. You’re really coming back early?” He asked.

“I want to.”

“Then do it.” I halfheartedly chuckled to myself at his answer.

“Jack I’m supposed to be graduating. I just skipped my last class of the year,” I explained.

“What? Why?” He asked, concerning creeping back into his tone.

“I’ll explain some other time,” I shook my head in exasperation. “Not now.”

“Okay. You sound rough,” he commented. I simply bit down on my lip and let the silence do the talking. “I’m coming to get you.” I could feel my face drain at his words.

“What? No! Jack I can’t ask you to. I only have a few more days. It’s too far away!”

“You’re only in the next state. I’ll get your mom to call and say something’s happened and you need to come home,” he replied confidently. Knowing I couldn’t stop him I looked around in worry as if an answer would leap out at me.

“Fine,” I sighed, not thinking of anything. “But I’m getting a taxi,” I bargained to no avail.

“No you’re not. I’ll get your mom to call; they can send you your thing in the mail or whatever. She misses you like hell so I know she’ll do it. If I set off early I’ll be there by noon,” he informed me in an assertive tone. I wasn’t entirely convinced but I knew I couldn’t get out of it.

“Whatever,” I muttered.

“I miss you Bri. We all do,” he commented. I noticed my tears had stopped as a small smile tugged at my lips.

“I miss you a lot,” was my reply.

“Ooh, I think Alex is done making me fruit juice,” he chirped sounding excited and causing me to laugh. It didn’t matter how old Jack got, he was always making comments to bring down his maturity level.

“You go drink your fruit juice. I’ll call you back tomorrow,” I half smiled.

“Aw, I wanna keep talking to you. Fine and don’t, I’ll be driving tomorrow. Ring me back later on,” he sang letting me hear the grin in his voice.

“Wow, you’re serious,” I teased.

“Why are you driving tomorrow?” I heard Alex ask from his end of the line.

“Of course I am. I don’t joke around!” Jack replied ignoring Alex’s question. I rolled my eyes, of course he is.

“Okay. Bye Jack.”

“Bye Brianna! Love you best friend!” He screeched earning a laugh from me as I hung up. I shook my head and went and sat on my mattress. It was then that it hit me, Jack was coming to see me tomorrow.