It's up to Me to Make You Bleed

My heart sank upon realizing that my attack hadn’t done as much damage as my confident mind had perceived. I gripped the last knife in between my shaky fingers as I continued to back away from the approaching wolves. Brian had returned with his knives already removed and in hand; Matt was slowly pulling his out from between his layers of skin. Their eyes never tore away from me. They were watching my every move, ready to strike.

After a minute or so, Matt finally looked away for a moment before lifting his face back up, sharing his demented grin with me. He chucked his bloodied knives at me with more precision than I expected. Each of the knives landed on opposite sides of me, clinging to my torn and baggy clothing, thus pinning me up against the wall. I’m not gonna lie – I immediately let out a sigh of relief after noting that neither one pierced my skin.

Brian decided to follow suit and throw his knives at me. His weren’t as accurate – one landing near my foot and the other next to my head. That second one came way too close for comfort. “Look at Courtney’s brave mommy now, trapped against the wall,” Matt taunted, stepping closer toward me. “Too bad she can’t save herself and live happily ever after with her daughter.”

My face twisted into a mixture of disgust and anger. “Burn in hell,” I muttered.

Brian and Matt exchanged amused looks before they completely closed in on me. “It’s over, Julianne. You might as well give up now. The courageous act is getting old,” Brian commented.

I grinned as I opened my mouth as if I was going to say something, but instead sent a nice spit wad hurtling in Brian’s face. I used the brief amount of time I was given to tug my arm forward, completely ripping most of my shirt off in the process, but separating me from the wall nevertheless. I leaned forward slightly just enough to slap him across the face.

“The ‘courageous act’ is never over when my family is in danger,” I declared.

Brian, who had fallen off balance, glared up at me with noticeable hatred and disgust in his eyes. “Fucking bitch,” he muttered, as he used the backside of his hand to wipe the spit off.

While all this angst was taking place between Brian and I, it would seem that I’d failed to notice that Matt had stepped out of the room. It wasn’t until the heated iron rod made contact with my skin that I stumbled upon this realization. My jaw dropped wide open as pain and flame ate away at my flesh. The rod had been thrown with perfect precision, cutting right through my elbow and nailing my arm to the wall. Blood poured out onto the heated piece of metal and seemed to boil as it dripped.

“Play time is over. Now you’re going to die,” Shadows said from across the kitchen table.

To be perfectly honest, I couldn’t tell whether he was serious, just threatening, or trying to scare me into complying. I decided to show them that they can’t scare me. “You can say whatever you want, Matt, but that doesn’t mean it’s going to happen.”

His eyes widened noticeably before sinking back into his skull. He stalked over toward me, eyes scanning the surrounding table and countertops until he found something he liked. He stopped in front of the blender. Turning with an evil grin, he plugged the blender in an outlet that was closer to where I was pinned. I forced myself to swallow the recently developed lump in the back of my throat – which proved to be rather difficult seeing as my throat has turned into a desert.

Matt held the blender up with one hand and came at me with another. He tightly gripped the arm that was broken – the one without the iron rod shoved inside – and bent my wrist so that my hand was facing downward. A small groan of pain escaped my lips as he squeezed tightly on purpose, knowing that the bruised skin was only a cover to mask the real injury below. My eyes squeezed shut as the blender roared to life, spinning its blades rapidly. It’s kind of hard to believe that just a couple days ago I had used that very blender to make strawberry smoothies for Joe and I.

Slowly, each of my fingers was simultaneously lowered toward the ravished set of spinning blades. Skin was ripped from the bone and muscle was reduced to mere pieces. Blood graciously poured out from the freshly made openings. I tried biting down on my tongue, but it was useless. Screams scratched away at my throat as my eyes shot open, coming face-to-face with blood flying all over the place in circular fashion, like one of those sprinklers. My screaming seemed to disappear as my mind temporarily floated to a better time.

Any one of those warm summer evenings…when James and I would sip chilled martinis and laugh as Courtney ran through the sprinkler in her little pink bathing suit, with such a big smile on her face. Oh, what I would give to have those moments back – to have him back. To think, if James and I had stayed together…Courtney and I would’ve never had to endure this horror. My eyes watered up at that thought as a sudden feeling of regret and despair overtook the fear and pain.

The buzzing sound of the blender finally faded into the distance as the cord was pulled from the outlet. The cool air bit away at my freshly exposed insides, causing a shiver to crawl across my body. I glanced over to find that most of my hand was either missing or entirely deformed. Skin dangled loosely off the edges were lazy incisions were made. Blood still dripped every now and then from the several locations that were available.

The blender was filled nearly to the brim in thick blood, with a touch of floating skin and muscle every now and then. Some chunks of bone had sunk to the bottom, others still clutching to what’s left of my arm. I could feel all three sets of their eyes watching me, but I refused to give them the time of day. I could hear their mocking words and cruel laughter fill my ears, but I tuned them out by doing something I hadn’t done in what seems like eternity. I prayed.

I didn’t ask God for a chance to live. I didn’t ask God for mercy. No, instead I asked him for a favor…and for forgiveness. Ever since that mess between James and I, well, I grew distant in my faith. Could that be why all of this has fallen apart? I can’t understand why I’m meant to die in this way, but that’s all irrelevant now. God, I know that my time has come and that I have failed to be the best mother that I could be. But please hear me out. Courtney is all I have, even so close to death and even after death; she’s all I have. Please protect her and keep her safe from these demons. I know that I ruined my chances, but all I ask is that you watch over her. I don’t care how painful my death will be, as long as it means my baby will be ok.

Of course, that private portion of my prayer was kept inside my head. But I couldn’t stop a couple of “Our Fathers” and “Hail Marys” from being spoken. I watched as their faces contorted into a confused, furious frustration. All this time they had been throwing objects at me and yelling their heads off – yet I offered them absolutely no reaction. I was at peace now, and there was nothing they could do to stop that.

Silence finally descended upon us as a stare-down ensued. Jimmy stepped forward, leaving the camera propped up on the tripod. On the way over, he pulled a large steak knife out of a collection of knives near the oven. “If there’s nothing left to do, then it’s best we get this over with. Since your daughter killed my father, I say it’s only justified that I do the same to you,” he explained. I held my breath until he stopped right in front of me. “You turn to prayers to comfort yourself. You sacrifice yourself to allow your daughter to reach safety. In all instances, your heart has clouded your judgment. Allow me to do you a favor,” he whispered, aiming the knife directly at my heart.

Of course, I simply assumed that he was going to stab me there to make it quick and easy, but that was inaccurate. A glint of twisted pleasure began to turn his eyes into black orbs as insanity overrode him. The point of the knife touched my chest, just above the sternum. I found it difficult to breathe. He didn’t hesitate much longer before sliding the knife slowly forward, separating one piece of skin into two.

Once the knife was a couple of inches deep, he began rotating it clockwise, moving in circle formation. Tears instantly fell from my eyes as the tightening, hard pain in my chest began to increase. My heart beat rapidly, trying its best to keep doing its job despite the fact that a knife was encircling it. Even still I wasn’t quite sure what his plan was. Soon the circle was complete as the knife returned to its starting point. My breaths were reduced to wheezing as I stared down at the bloody circle between my breasts.

Jimmy pulled the knife out of the circle and gave me one last sick smile before plunging the knife deep into the center of my chest causing blood to gush out upon impact. I wanted to scream so badly, thinking it could possibly relieve me of my pain, but I couldn’t make a sound. He made sure the knife was truly wedged in there before he pulled back suddenly, taking the circular chunk of my chest with him. I screamed as the flesh was ripped from my body, leaving my heart beating in the open. I’d never seen a human heart in action before…and I never planned on it.

Light-headedness came upon me as my legs weakened. I wasn’t sure if it was from the pain, or the gruesome, bloody sight. And he wasn’t done yet. He dropped the knife down on the ground, with the chest cavity still attached. He reached forward with his hand and dug into the hole until his fingers wrapped around my beating heart. Finally, I knew what he was going to do. My head shook from left to right in a begging fashion, pleading with him to stop and kill me in a humane manner. But he didn’t care.

His fingers tightened around my heart before he finally pulled his arm back toward his body, severing the veins and arteries and holding a bloody, beating heart in his hand. A flood of red fluid spilled out of my chest and sloshed across the floor. Breathing seemed impossible at this point, and yet I was still conscious. I could hear Jimmy or one of the others squeezing my heart and laughing as blood rushed over their skin. Wind blew through my chest, which was now nothing more than a hollowed hole.

“Dude…she’s still alive,” Matt said after a few more seconds had passed.

“Yes, it’s called slow and painful death for a reason,” Jimmy replied.

“No, man, I think you’ve done enough.”

A gun cocked into place and a trigger was pulled. The impact of the gunshot was the last thing I felt before everything turned black. All that mattered was that I knew Courtney was safe and this suffering was finally over.