What's This Feeling?

‘Uh, think fast! What am I going to say to Light? I doubt he’d believe that this was an accident… grr! What do I do?’ I thought.

“Uhh… Li…Light… it’s not-” I tried to say.

Ryuuzaki then tried to take the string that was attached to him off of my button on my bottoms.

“The string from my pants got caught on her button…” Ryuuzaki said, he seemed pretty calm.

“Oh, okay, let me help.” Light said and walked over to help Ryuuzaki untangle it.

I felt useless, they were trying to get it out, and I had nothing to do but lie there.
It took them about 2 minutes to get it untangled.

“There, it’s all good.” Light said, and Ryuuzaki got off of me. I stood up too.

“So… Rena can I have some of your cupcakes, that was the reason I came in here.” Light said.

“Sure.” I said. I looked over at Ryuuzaki, he looked either sad or confused… or something, I can’t really tell. He’s in deep thought.

Light left my room and made his way to he kitchen to get some of my cupcakes.

“Ryuuzaki-kun…” I said.

“I think I should head back now… Watari may be a little worried…or he may be asleep and I don’t want to disturb at a later hour, good night Rena-chan.” Ryuuzaki said scratching the back of his neck, and headed for the door, I followed him.

“Bye, Ryuuzaki…” I said. I wanted to ask if something was the matter, but something told me not to… or at least not now.

“Bye.” Ryuuzaki said, as he left.

He looked lonely to me, it was sad.

‘It’s funny… me and Ryuuzaki are pretty lonely, and it seems for the same reason. It’s hard for us to trust people, but we trust each other…maybe because of that, so we feel like we’re the same, like we’re connected somehow…’ I thought this same thought again.

“Are you gonna stand there all night?” Light asked coming out of the kitchen.

“Huh…uhh, sorry I was just thinking… Can I come to your room?” I asked, quickly coming back to the world.

Light came by my side and grabbed my hand, he looked sad… or worried. He didn’t say anything, then he seemed to realize I was looking up at him; he came back to planet earth, and started walking up the steps.

“Rena…” Light said when we were in his room and his door was shut.

I always dreamed of him saying my name like that… I know it would be incest, but we aren’t technically related… he’s just my foster brother. He was the only one I ever liked. He seemed to be the only one who understands me, and the only guy I ever felt really comfortable around. He’s a good match for me, but I don’t think I would date him… I don’t know why, just something is telling me or hitting me not to.

While I was on the moon, Light said something. But I wasn’t really listening.

“Oh, sorry Light. I didn’t hear that last part. Can you repeat it?” I asked.

“I said, Are you okay, is there something the matter?” Light asked, “Lately you seem to look lonely.”

I don’t believe it! The exact same thing I thought about Ryuuzaki! Kind of weird.

“Huh… well I… I don’t know, I feel the same as I always do.” I said.

“…To me you seem different ever since we met Ryuuzaki.” Light said, “You day dream more, and think things through more.”

‘Wow, do I really? Oh my gosh… what does that mean? should it mean something?’ I thought.

“Huh… uhh, okay well I’m going to go into my room now…bye and good night. Don’t tell dad Ryuuzaki was here.” I said, slowly backing out the door.

When I got into my room I turned my computer on. I typed in ‘symptoms’. I got a hug list of all sorts of symptoms for being sick, hating someone… and… loving someone. That one popped out more than all the others.

‘I don’t think that’s what it is though…right?’ I wondered.
I looked down the list, it did mention day dreaming a lot and thinking more than usual. Maybe I’m just overanalysing everything… but still, all the things it listed seem to be more and more like how I am. Am I in love? I don’t know.. Hopefully it’s just a coincidence I prayed and shut the computer down, and headed off to bed.

x

The next morning.

I woke up by a text message from Ryuuzaki.
<Can you come over?>
I texted him back: <Yeah.>
I realized that Light wasn’t here today. Oh yeah! He’s going around doing what the journal said today…
I shoved on some white nylons and my green plaid mini-dress.

Knock, knock, knock, knock.
Watari answered, “oh, hello ms. Yagami. Please come in.”
I walked in, and sat down on the couch, next to Ryuuzaki.
“Yo!” I greeted, “What’s up?”.
“Want to watch your brother with me?” Ryuuzaki asked.
He turned the T.V. on and it was already hooked up to the cameras where Light was.
“Sorry ‘bout the other night…” I said. It was so weird I just kept smiling so brightly. I had a weird feeling, it was so strange… and indescribable.
“… It’s alright…” Ryuuzaki said. After that it was pretty quiet, but it didn’t seem like and awkward silence, maybe that’s because we’re both pretty much shy, quiet people, it feels natural.
“Uhh… Ryuuzaki, I may have to go in an hour to work.” I said.
“Oh, okay…” He replied.
It was kind of boring watching my brother walk around with Matsuda and his friends.
“ I think I’m going to go now…” Just as I said that my cell went off.
I answered,” Hello?”
“Rena you coming in today?” I heard a boy say on the other end. It sounded familiar. Oh wait! It was Gin!
“Oh yeah I was just about to leave.” I said.
We both hung up.

“Okay… I’ll be seeing you Ryuuzaki. I’ll come back at 9:00p.m.” I said, just as I was about to leave Ryuuzaki grabbed my arm.

“Uh…Ryuuzaki? Is there something else?” I asked. I think I was blushing… I’ve never been this close to a guy, except for that time at my place, when Ryuuzaki fell on me.

Ryuuzaki gave me this… almost longing look, but I guess he realized what he was doing and shocked was on his face. He quickly let go of my hand.
“Uh… be careful.” He slightly mumbled, but enough so I could still hear.
I ran as fast as I could to work, it was hard since I was stupid enough to not bring my scooter.

I wonder why Gin called me, maybe because work was getting out of hand? It is almost lunch time…

“Hi, sorry if I’m a bit late” I said when I walked in the door, out of breathe,” I had to run all the way here from the ho-, uhh I mean… from my place, and halfway when I was here I forgot I should have brought my scooter.” I said.
Phew, that was close. If I had said ‘hotel’ it would have token me awhile to explain. And it would be harder because I couldn’t say I’m working on the ‘Kira’ case. It would have sounded worse if I said I was with a guy, too.
“You know…-” Gin was saying, but got interrupted by my cell ringing.
I answered,” Hi?”
“Rena-chan… it’s me Suzuki. I need more help with Gin…” Suzuki said on the other line.
“Oh… well I’m here right now, with him…I’ll help.” I said.
‘I swear if she hadn’t told me her name I would have not known her name. I’d forgotten again. I guess I have a bad memory.’ I thought.
“Yay, thanks.” Suzuki said, and we both hung up.

“Sorry, you were saying Gin?” I said.

“Oh yes… do you like me?” Gin said with this weird twinkle in his eyes.

Suddenly I got worried, where was the ‘big boss’, Koji? Where was Teru!? Why is he here alone?

“Uh, where is everybody?” I asked, backing up a bit, he matched me, foot for foot.

“They left me in charge, they had to go to their daughter’s baby-shower.” Gin said.

“G-Gin… I don’t l-like you…no… what about Suzuki, do you like her?” I asked.

“Hmm… maybe…” He said. All of a sudden I felt weird, it felt like this was the real Gin, Gin wasn’t that nice guy type. No… and he likes, me?!
I gulped, I’m kind of scared now.

“Gin… what are you-” I said but got interrupted by Ryuuzaki.
Ryuuzaki?!

Ryuuzaki walked in a hurry, and jumped in between Gin and me.

“Don’t you touch her!” He said, protecting me. I felt helpless, it felt weird, I didn’t think I’d be able to fight Gin off if he tried anything. It would feel weird, because one of my friends likes him. What if I hurt him badly. I don’t want crush Suzuki.

“Who-Who the hell are you?!” Gin said, he seemed very surprised. But not as surprised as me. He should be back at the hotel watching Light and Matsu.

“C’mon, Rena. Let’s go.” Ryuuzaki said, he grabbed me and got me out of there before Gin and I could even say anything.

“R-Ryuuzaki… Uh…how long were you, how’d you get here?” I asked.

“I followed you, I had… a bad feeling I guess. That something was going to happen to you.” Ryuuzaki said.
So that must have been what he was going to tell me before I left. I see.

“Oh! Okay… well thank you Ryuuzaki.” I said.

We drove back to the hotel.

“So…is Watari watching the Light and Matsu thingy?” I asked.

“Yes…” Ryuuzaki said.

“But then who’s driving us?” I asked.

“It’s one of the hotel assistant‘s… I’m giving him an extra tip for this.” Ryuuzaki said.

“Oh.” I said.

“Ryuuzaki… do you think of me as a friend?” I asked.

“…You are the first person I think of as a friend.” Ryuuzaki said, biting on his thumb-nail.

“Great! You’re my first friend too.” I said, smiling.
Just then my phone began ringing, I checked the caller ID. It was… my work’s number. It’s probably Gin… Should I answer it?

“Aren’t you going to answer it?” Ryuuzaki asked.

“But… it’s Gin, the guy from before.” I said.

“Well, in that case,” Ryuuzaki grabbed my phone and answered, “Sorry, you dialled the wrong number.” He hung up. He said it in a totally different voice. It was… like a high-pitched boy’s voice.

“Thanks.” I said, and he handed my phone back to me.

We were back at the hotel.
Ryuuzaki sat down on the couch and I sat next to him.

“Where’s Watari?” I asked looking around.

“He’s in the other room, making some sweets for us.” Ryuuzaki said, he continued to bite his thumb-nail.
Watari came in, rolling a trolley filled with goodies on it.
Ryuuzaki took some cheese cake. I took some pistachio ice-cream.
Watari left the room again.

“There.. There it is again!” I said, pointing at the dark spot above Light’s head on the screen.

“where’s what again?” Ryuuzaki asked.

“There’s always this dark spot thing around Light…” I said, then I grabbed my head and fell to the floor. “Ow, my head really hurts… I feel… dizzy…” my vision started to blur and I felt sick to my stomach like I normally do when I’m around cameras or sound bugs.

x

I woke up, I was lying down on Ryuuzaki’s bed in the hotel.
I got up and wandered into the living room, where I was last.
“Ryuuzaki?” I asked, then tumbled, and fell down to my knees.

I heard footsteps coming closer and closer, “Rena… you alright, let me help you.” Ryuuzaki said, grabbing my arm and pulling up towards his room again.

“Here, you could change into these.” Ryuuzaki said handing me some of his clothes. It was a white t-shirt and some knee length navy blue shorts.

“Thanks” I said, pulling my nylons off, Ryuuzaki left and waited just outside of the shut door.

I opened it, “Ryuuzaki… I still don’t feel so good…” I said holding onto my stomach. I know that it wasn’t because I was on my period. It hurt like how I normally get ‘sick’.

“Maybe you should stay here for the night…” Ryuuzaki said.

Oh shoot, I looked over at the time, it was already 9:00p.m.

“Okay.. Is it alright if I do though?” I asked.

“Yeah.” Ryuuzaki said.
I called my house, “Hi. Mom uh, I’m going to be staying over at a friend’s house tonight…just call my cell if anything.” I said.

“Oh alright honey.” my mom said. And we both hung up.

‘Okay, so I’m going to be staying at Ryuuzaki’s tonight then… it’s sounds fun’ I thought.