I Would Miss Her

I couldn’t decide what I would miss most.

Her hair, beautiful blondish hair, that she had dyed so many times that within a year of knowing her I had lost count. Her hair that fell in a weird not quite bob with her pretty fringe. Her hair that was dead straight, even before she got a straightener at it.

Then there was her face, with her huge hazel eyes. They were never the same color twice. Always changing from brown to green, to almost yellow at times. Her nose, her rather odd shaped nose. She hated it, but I loved it. It was beautiful. Like everything about her. And her lips. Her pale pink lips. That had spoken so many words I didn’t understand. That had kissed me more times than possibly memorable.

After her face there was so much more. Her arms. One scarred from years of self harm and one completely smooth and unblemished. Her stomach that she always though was bigger than it really was. Her legs, her beautiful pale white legs. And those were just the physical things.

There was how she spoke and her accent, how she could never say draw. It always ended up sounding like drawl. There was the way she made sentences work, using big words that I didn’t understand but would still get anyway from the other half of the sentence. There was her personality, so happy and bright at times, but then quite and reserved at others. How she went from happy to quite in the blink of an eye.

I would miss her conversation, where we would talk about the stupidest things. Where we could go twenty minutes without saying a word to each other but still be glad we had the company of the other. And then there was the times where we couldn’t shut up.

I would miss everything about her. Nothing in anyway more than another. Noting in anyway less than another. I would miss everything and I would miss it equally as much. That’s the problem though, that I had to miss it. That I couldn’t appreciate it anymore. Well I could but not properly. She was six feet down in the ground. Slowly turning to dust, as I lived and breathed up here without her.

It wasn’t her fault she was gone. It wasn’t her fault that the idiot didn’t slow down before his truck hit our car killing her. It wasn’t her fault. But now she was dead, and all that happened to the truck driver? He got a two year driving ban and a don’t do it again.

So now she was gone, and I would miss her.