There's Things That Aren't Worth Giving Up

Natalia unpacked a box, waiting for Marty to get home. Practice for preseason had just begun, and Marty had gone out afterwards with the guys. Natalia grabbed a picture frame out of the box, shaking her head as she looked at it. It was a picture of her and her dad the first day he had started working for the Blackhawks. They both looked so happy, and it was unreal to think that they weren’t even on speaking terms any longer.

He had called her about a week ago, telling her that things could go back to how they were if she would just leave Marty and admit that she had been wrong the whole time. Natalia had wasted no time in telling John that he was absolutely crazy if he thought she was going to leave Marty, and she had promptly hung up on him.

She still hadn’t told Marty about that conversation, knowing that he still blamed himself for her and John’s falling out. Natalia still believed it was inevitable, and if it hadn’t been her and Marty being together, something else would have caused her and John to fight and end up the way they currently were.

Natalia had come to terms with the fact that she and John were never going to go back to the way they were. She was still debating with herself as to if she should invite John to her wedding or not. She figured that he wouldn’t come even if she did invite him, but a part of her knew she would feel bad if she didn’t invite him.

Her thoughts changed when she pulled another picture out of the box, this time a picture of her in her Army gear from when she first joined the armed forces. She couldn’t believe everything she had gone through since she had been eighteen and first joined. Her post traumatic stress disorder seemed to be under control right now, and she knew she had Marty to thank for that. Though, she still had to go to a psychiatrist on a regular basis, she knew she wouldn’t be half as healthy as she was if she had never met Marty.

She was pulled out of her thoughts when the front door opened and Marty walked inside. “Hey, what are you doing?” he asked her, walking over to her and sitting down on the floor next to her, taking the picture out of her hands and looking at it.

“I was just unpacking a little bit,” she told him. “That picture was taken when I first joined the Army,” she told him. “Before everything happened,” she said, knowing he would know what she was talking about.

“Have I ever told you how sexy you look in your Army outfit?” he asked her with a smirk.

Natalia couldn’t help but shake her head and laugh at him. “No, you haven’t,” she told him. “Anyways, how was your day today? Did you have fun with the guys?” she asked him.

“Yeah,” Marty said. “We went out to a bar afterwards.”

“Oh?” Natalia asked. “And, did you pick up any girls?” she asked jokingly.

“No,” Marty told her. “Oh, and some of the guys and their wives and girlfriends are going out tomorrow, and they wanted us to come along. Are you up for it?” he asked her. He knew that she still wasn’t comfortable around strangers, and he didn’t want to say they’d go if she didn’t want to.

“Yeah,” Natalia answered. “I mean, we’re going to be around these people for the next how many years? And, who knows, maybe they’ll become my new best friends,” she said, thinking about how close she, Summer, and Olivia had become in the little while she had known them.

“That’s a good way of thinking about it,” Marty told her.

***

Natalia uncomfortably sat at the table, plastering a smile on her face as she felt out of place next to Derek Boogaard’s girlfriend, Vivian, and Josh Harding’s girlfriend, Camilla. For some unknown reason to Natalia, they had excluded her from the conversation all night.

They all stood up to leave, much to the relief of Natalia, when the guys suddenly got mobbed by a bunch of Wild fans. Natalia moved to the side, not wanting to get caught up in the crowd, still not comfortable around a whole bunch of strangers, not to mention a bunch of crazy fans. She smiled to herself when she saw all of the fans ask Marty for his autograph, happy that they had already accepted him as one of their own.

Vivian and Camilla were suddenly at her side, looking back and forth between her and the mob around the three men. “You know you’re never going to fit in here, right?” Vivian asked, and Natalia turned to look at her, wondering who she was talking to.

Natalia realized she was directing her words at her, and she looked taken aback. “Excuse me?” Natalia asked her.

“You’re not going to fit in here,” Camilla repeated.

“How can you know that? Yeah, I’m not going to fit in with you, obviously, but that doesn’t mean anything,” Natalia replied.

“No, you won’t fit in with anyone. You’re crazy, and no one’s going to want to be friends with a crazy person,” Vivian told her. “We’ve heard all about you, and you’re truly out of your mind. I mean, you’re diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder.”

“Just because I have PTSD does not make me crazy,” Natalia said through gritted teeth. She didn’t like discussing her post traumatic stress disorder with anyone, especially two women that she had just met and knew next to nothing about.

“I heard that you have to see a psychiatrist because you have all these crazy delusions that some men are going to come here and kill you and Marty,” Vivian spoke up.

“That’s not true,” Natalia told them. She hadn’t had those nightmares in months, not that they were any of their business.

“Just face it. You’re not like us, and you’ll never be. You’re crazy,” Camilla said with a smirk just as the guys got away from the fans and walked over towards them.

Marty saw Natalia staring angrily at Vivian and Camilla, and he gave her a questioning look, which she just shook her head to in reply. “You ready to get out of here?” he asked her, and she quickly nodded her head. “I’ll see you guys later,” Marty said, turning around towards Derek and Josh. “It was nice to meet you,” he added to Vivian and Camilla.

“Yeah, you too!” Vivian said with a smile.

Natalia rolled her eyes, walking out of the restaurant, not even bothering to say goodbye to anyone. She didn’t care what they thought of her after that. She was furious at what those two had said to her. “Nat,” Marty called out to her, jogging down the sidewalk to try to catch up to her. “What was that?” he asked her, obviously upset at how she had acted towards his teammates at the end of dinner. “You didn’t even say goodbye.”

“Don’t worry about it, Marty,” she told him as she continued down the sidewalk, finally reaching their car. She waited on him to unlock the doors, but he stayed in place, watching her, waiting on an answer. “Marty, open the door,” she told him.

“Not until you tell me what happened,” he replied.

“Open the door,” she repeated more forcefully, but he didn’t budge. “Damn it!” she yelled. “They called me crazy!” she yelled, and Marty continued to stare at her, waiting on her to finish. “They knew about my PTSD, and they told me that I was crazy because of it. How’d they even know that I had it?” she questioned, staring straight at him.

“I don’t know,” Marty said, putting his hands out in front of him. “I didn’t say anything, I swear,” he told her.

“Maybe they’re right,” she muttered under her breath.

“What?” Marty asked her.

“Maybe they’re right,” she repeated so that he could hear her.

“They’re right? About what?”

“Maybe I am crazy,” she suggested.

Marty took a step towards her, putting his hands on her shoulders. “You are not crazy,” Marty assured her, moving one hand and placing it on the side of her head. “Look at how far you’ve come,” he added. “Nat, you’re making progress.”

“I know, but I hate when people judge me for it. I mean, they don’t even know what happened, and they’re judging me. And, they already hate me. They said that I’ll never fit in around here. I just wanted to fit in with them. I mean, they’re going to be our new family, and they already hate me.”

“That was just two players’ girlfriends. That doesn’t mean that everyone’s going to feel that way,” Marty told her.

“But, what if they do? What if they all think I’m crazy and they hate me? How am I supposed to stay here if they’re all like that?”

“Are you reconsidering your decision to move here?” Marty asked her, concerned.

“No,” Natalia sighed. “I just don’t want to be the odd one out, you know?” she asked him, and he nodded his head.

“You won’t be,” he assured her. “Why don’t we go out with some of the other guys and their wives and see how that goes?” he suggested.

“Sure, but can we just go home right now?” she asked him, and he nodded his head, unlocking the car doors as Natalia quickly jumped inside.