Corrupt Innocence

His hips swayed slowly as he moved from table to table under the fluorescent lighting of the school’s eco-friendly light bulbs. He was helping all the people in our AP History class who were either too stupid to pay attention and do their work. I on the other hand, didn’t do my work for a different reason. I wanted that gorgeous little boy near me so I could listen to his high-pitch voice as he stammered out simple questions to jog our memories so that everyone could get the answers right. Also so I could tease him and make him blush.

His eyes traveled to me since I was the last person he hadn’t helped. I leaned back in my desk, chewing on my pencil as I shifted my eyes up to the ceiling. His sigh was barely audible as he trudged over to my desk.

“And to whom do I owe this great honor of having your undivided attention?” I asked sarcastically. He searched my face for a moment before lifting my worksheet from the table. His eyes scanned over it quickly, sighing again as he realized that none of the questions had been answered.

“D-Don’t y-you k-k-know any of the-t-these?” He whispered placing my paper back on the table, rubbing the back of his neck. A silver bracelet around his right wrist jingled at the movement. I noticed a promise wring on the ring finger of his left hand.

“Hey, isn’t that a promise ring?” I asked loudly, pointing.

The gorgeous boy before me blushed brightly, placing his hand behind his back.

“D-Do-Don’t change the sub-subject, please, Clarke.” He whispered again, glancing in our teacher’s direction.

Mr. Black had his gaze trained on us. I rolled my eyes and glanced back up at the ceiling.

“How about you come over later and give me a private tutoring session.” I purred reaching out to put my hand on his waist. He just stood there for a couple seconds before turning and walking back to his seat. His face was the color of a red skittle.

After class, everyone shot out of the class room except for Mr. Black, Sterling, and me. The teacher was organizing his things and Sterling was slowly placing his things into his book bag with an OCD manner. I was just hanging around, waiting to follow Sterling out of the class room.

“Sterling…may I see you for a moment?” Mr. Black called from his desk, motioning for me to leave. Sterling gave a slight nod, still hovering over his book bag. I left the room without a backwards glance, shutting the door behind myself.

Before I could get too far though, my ears picked up a surprised squeal coming from behind the closed door. My feet took me back to the door so I peeked in through the window. Mr. Black had his hand on Sterling’s and was whispering in his ear.

“Mr. Black, I forgot my pencil!” I announced slamming the door open and striding quickly to my desk just as the teacher grabbed Sterling’s chin. Mr. Black jumped away from the shy, gorgeous boy, hurrying back to his desk. Sterling jerked his bag off his table, rushing out of the class room. I snatched my pencil from the top of my desk, stuffing it into my back pocket.

Outside of the class room, the sound of gentle sobbing was coming from the bathroom. I followed it and saw Sterling gripping the rim of the sink with slim, pale fingers, staring up into the mirror in front of him. Tears streaked down his red face and his sides were heaving.

“Sterling…”

“I have to go.” He interrupted me suddenly, rubbing the tears from his face. He slung his bag over his shoulder and pushed past me out of the bathroom. I sighed and followed him out to the parking lot. He turned left in the direction of the church where his father was the resident priest while I clambered into my old red ’69 Camaro.

Over the next couple days, Mr. Black didn’t ask Sterling to stay again, and not once did Sterling ever bother to come ‘help’ me with my work. It was obvious that he was ignoring me even when I tried to talk to him or get his attention. After school, he would just go straight to church.

One night, around eleven forty-five, I left my little apartment, unable to go to sleep. I walked to the park and settled onto one of the swings, kicking my legs lazily, not really going anywhere. After a couple minutes, I felt a pair of eyes on me. I looked up and noticed Sterling lying across the monkey bars, resting his chin on his forearms, staring down at me.

“Hello Clarke.” He mumbled sitting up and dropping between the bars, landing on his feet with his legs bent and fingers keeping him from fallings over from the impact. He reminded me of a cat. His eyes were nervous as he placed himself in the swing next to me.

“Hey gorgeous,” I replied with a smirk. “Wanna come back to my place?”

Sterling looked up at the moon that was casting its soft white light over the park. He sighed, causing the heat of his breath to fog in the chilly night. He put his arms around his skinny frame. It was then I noticed he was wearing a thin black wife-beater and dark blue boxer shorts. His body was shaking.

“Shit man, why are you dressed like that? Didn’t you know how cold it is out here?”

“Yeah…I guess.” He whispered seeming to be in a daze. His eyes had a faraway look in them, causing me to feel concern.

Sterling rose from the swing next to me, starting to walk off.

“Hey, go home!” I called after him but he didn’t seem to hear me. I picked myself up, jogging to catch up with him.

“Come to the church with me.” He mumbled without looking at me. He jerked away when I tried to grab his shoulder.

Sterling wove his way through the streets as if in a trance, with me following not too far behind him. He never once looked back to see if I was coming. As soon as we reached the church, I could hear screaming from inside. It was only one person who was doing the screaming. Otherwise, nothing else could be heard. The words of the person inside the church were slurred so I’m guessing the guy was drunk.

Sterling sat on the steps of the church, burying his face in his hands. His shoulders quivered, only to make me realize that he was crying.

“Come back to my place with me. You can stay there till he leaves.” I sighed feeling horrible for picking on him when he was this upset.

He didn’t move from the steps so I picked him up and carried him over my shoulder like an awfully light sack of potatoes. His hip bones dug into my shoulder but I didn’t really care. It didn’t hurt too horribly. He didn’t squirm like I had expected him too. Instead, he just let me carry him all the way to my apartment.

I unlocked the door and shoved it open, kicking it closed with my foot behind us. He allowed me to set him on my bed and pull the sheets over him. His eyes were already closed and his breathing was even. I brushed some fresh tears off his face with my fingertips, drying them on my jeans.

A sigh escaped my lips as I settled down next to him, squirming under the thick, warm covers. I placed my arms over his waist since he was still shivering. He curled into a ball with a feeble whimper.

In the morning, his irritated cry woke me up. His face was ashamed as he wriggled out of my arms and darted out of my room. I shoved the covers off my body, getting up to find him fumbling with the lock on my front door.

“Sterling…just calm down…” I sighed grabbing his wrists, tugging him away from the door. “I won’t do anything to you.”

“I have to go to church.” He gasped.

“Sit down,” I growled pointing to the couch. His eyes widened but he obeyed. “I’m making you breakfast.”

He relaxed against the couch cushions, slipping to the side, pulling an afghan over his thin body.

For breakfast, we ate waffles, bacon, and eggs. He wolfed down the food like he hadn’t eaten in ages, because he sure looked like he hadn’t. I ate slowly, noticing that he kept glancing up at me and shaking his head as if he was trying to dislodge something from his ears.

“Sterling…is everything ok?”

He didn’t answer me. He glared at his plate like it had bit him, setting his fork down.

I sighed and stood, taking my plate to the sink. He just sat there, staring at his plate without answering me. I didn’t try to pry the answers out of him anymore, sensing that it would be best to just leave him alone.

I placed myself on the couch in the living room in full view of the door, but my eyes were glued to the TV. A small body curled up next to me under the blankets. He was shivering again…even though the apartment was warm because I had cranked up the heater before heading to bed.

“Don’t ask me to talk about it.” He whispered pulling the blanket tighter around his shoulders. His cinnamon brown hair hung in his shocking green eyes as he tilted his face away, glaring at the afghan. I put my arm over him, causing him to jump away from me.

“I’m not going to do anything.” I sighed rolling my eyes at him.

Sterling snuggled back against me, burrowing deeper into the covers. The strong urge to kiss him hit me hard. I shook my head, forcing my attention back to the TV. It was difficult because he was shivering uncontrollably.

“Do…”

“NO!” He shouted pressing his face against my side.

I sighed shaking my head at him. He whimpered slightly, lifting his head, his eyes scanning quickly over the room.

“Blankets are in the closet in my room. Would you like me to go get you a couple more?”

He nodded slightly but his hands grabbed my shirt, binding me to him. I couldn’t get up with him like this.

“Sweetie, let go of my shirt.” I soothed running my fingers through his hair. He shuddered as his face reddened. His shaking slowed and he finally let go.

As soon as I was back with the blankets, Sterling tackled me onto the couch, curling up on my torso. I pulled the three blankets over him, rubbing his back gently. He was shaking violently again, clinging to me as if for dear life.

“Protect me, save me, please don’t leave me.” He whispered. Tears began to slip down his face, dripping onto my burgundy short-sleeve, v-neck shirt. That shocked me. I had never expected him to say something like that.

Even after he fell asleep, he was still clinging to my t-shirt, quivering like a leaf in hurricane force winds. I shifted him to where his back was pressed against the back of the couch and I turned to face him, pressing my body around him. He was so cold.

When he woke up, it was around eight o’clock at night. I had fallen asleep as well. His shivering stopped now and he was squirming away from me.

“What happened to you earlier?”

“Panic attack… I get those a lot. Don’t worry. Just ignore me and everything I say or do.” He shrugged pacing around the room.

“Why do you get them?”

“I told you not to ask me. I’m fine.”

“Tell me.”

“No.”

“Sterling…you need to tell me.”

“My mother died when I was sixteen. Almost everyday after that, my father rapes me and calls me by my mother’s name. He says it’s my entire fault that she’s dead. I’m scared to go back. He gets drunk all the time and sometimes, he does even worse things than beat me.” Sterling whispered still pacing.

“Haven’t you called the police?”

“He’s the priest. No one would believe me.”

“It doesn’t matter. You should call them.”

“It’s scandalous.”

“We’d leave.”

“We…” He scoffed. “You’d probably do the same thing to me to, except call me by my mother’s name.”

“I’m not a complete monster. I do know what “No” means,” I sighed holding my arms out to him. “Stay with me. Let me protect you.”

He watched me for a brief moment before allowing himself to slip into my arms, putting his thin arms around my waist.

I kissed his forehead gently, holding him closer to me.

He let out a contented sigh, nuzzling his face against my chest.