Warrior Twilight

I shot straight up in bed, and slowly turned my head to the right. Lindsay was sleeping peacefully next to me. Picture of innocence. Snapshot of serenity.
And she had just kicked me.

"LINDSAY!" I yelled. "You freakin' just gave me a bruise!"
Her eyes parted slightly, but she was still completely out of it.

I growled, and shoveled her off the bed with my feet.
She made a satisfying thump against the floor.

I smiled, but then pulled my leg out from under the covers. There was a big red spot. When I touched it I flinched.
"Thanks a lot Lindsay," I said, looking over the edge of the bed. She had a bewildered expression on her face.
"You have forever rendered me incapable of walking. You are now my eternal slave, and must push me around in a wheel chair forever more."

She chuckled lightly, and then closed her eyes again.

I scowled.
"You SO deserve this," I said, and then jumped on top of her, scrunching my fingers against her belly.
She screamed, but started laughing uncontrollably. "STOP!" she gasped out, but I was merciless, and continued tickling her.

All of a sudden there was a knock on the door. We both immediately became quite.
I hopped over to the door and peered through the peep hole. I saw somebodies neck. Oh, it was Jacob.

I opened the door. He had some Burger King bags in his hands.
Ooh. Breakfast.

He walked past me inside, and dropped the bag on the bed.
Lindsay and I both dived for it.

We were caught in a tug of war for the bag, neither one of us wanting to pull too hard, as to rip the bag, but still not wanting the other to have it first.

We scowled at each other. I had hoped i would never have to use this one.
"I authort my authority over you. Give me the bag lowly servant."

She scowled at me harder, but let go, grumbling.
I smiled. "Just kidding Leapardshadow. You can have it first."
The bag was quickly snatched from my hands, and one of the burgers disappeared from inside, vanishing inside her mouth.

Pig.

I rolled my eyes. "Oh please, we aren't THAT desperate for previsions."
My hand searched around the inside of the bag. I grabbed something out of it. Breakfast Chicken Sandwich. Yum. Birds are tasty.

I devoured it in three large bites, but i chewed on it for a very long time. It really is a choking hazard to take such large bites. I should really stop.
As if on cue, i started choking. I coughed and sputtered, grabbing towards the water Jacob had also put in the bag.

I soaked a bunch down, but was still coughing.
Lindsay was cracking up.

When my esophagus was again completely cleared, I yelled at her.
"Lindsay, that is SO not funny. I could have DIED!"

That only made her laugh harder.

I grabbed one of the little breakfast potato thingies from the bag and threw it at her.
It missed her head by about an inch.

"Hey," she said, as if i had no good reason to just do that.
She fetched the now split in half breakfast potato thing, and threw it back at me. I caught it.

She got a very sly look on her face. I tensed. She went back on her haunches (or what would be her haunches if she was a cat right now) and launched toward me. I dodged her easily, but when I turn around, she had the bag in her hands, with a very evil look on her face.

So she wasn't going for me after all.

Five hash browns were now in her hands. I crouched down to be able to dodge them easier, backing a bit farther away, towards the bathroom door.

She flung them at me. The first one was too far to the right. The second hit me in the leg. The next one flung way off. I think she did that on purpose, because my eyes followed it, and the fourth one came flinging towards me, too fast for me to dodge, and the fifth one not to long after that, but it went way too high.

And Jacob just came out of the bathroom.
I arched my head upward, and he had a hash brown right smack dab in the middle of his forehead. He was looking cross eyed up at it.

I couldn't control myself. I start laughing like crazy. Lindsay was doing the same thing. My knees where too weak to hold me up, so i slunk to the floor, wrapping my arms around my stomach.

He grabbed the hash brown, looked at it for a second, and then popped it in his mouth. That made me laugh even harder.

I was forced to stop when my abs hurt to much to go on. I sighed my way into just little giggles every now and then.

I got up and we all piled into his truck again, throwing all our bags in the back seat, and continued the long drive. A long long LONG time and about 5,000 rest-stops later, we saw the 'Welcome to Minnesota' sign.

We all 'woo-hoo'ed loudly out the window.
I started paying more attention to the road map, because now it was not just highway-highway-highway.

"So, where are we headed?" Jacob asked me.
I thought about that. "Well, maybe we could... um, idk, I probably should have decided that a little sooner."

I started thinking again. "Hmm... OMG! We should totally go to Ashley's house!!"
Lindsay started laughing. "Yeah, that's a fabulous idea!"
"Who's Ashley?" Jacob asked.
"She used to be a cat, but she quit," I said.

Jacob looked at me weird... did that sound dumb?
"She lives close-ish to the cemetery, so that works out well... yeah."

I looked down at the map again, and figured out which road we had to get off on. We still had a ways.

"So," Jacob went on. "Why did she, um, quit?"
"She got so annoyed by Jacklyn, she had to leave," Lindsay answered for me.

Jacob chuckled, and then poked my cheek... What the heck?
And then Lindsay started laughing, and poked my cheek too.

What the heck???