Love Is Insane
Drunk on Shadows
Bam had fallen asleep on Ville's chest. Ville smiled and glanced at the clock. Great, something must interrupt this perfect moment. Fucking useless therapy...
Ville tried to move without waking Bam but, failed.
"What are you doing?" Bam asked sleepily.
Ville sighed, "I've got to go to therapy. But, I'll be back soon."
Bam continued to frown. "Oh."
Ville started to get up. But, Bam pulled him back down.
Bam smile. "Thought you could leave already?" He pressed his lips to Ville's. Ville smiled intot he kiss. Bam wrapped his arms around Ville and pulled away just to say "I love you". Then continued kissing him. Ville bit Bam's lip. Bam moaned into the kiss and moved his hand towards Ville's thigh.
Ville pulled away, "Bammie..." he warned, "I've got to go..." he gave an evil sort of smile. Then, left the room and headed down the hall.
Bam sighed. "I love you Ville Valo...more then anything."
"You don't know what love is."
"I do so..." Bam said out loud, to the empty room.
"Do not. You can't feel anything because you're crazy."
"I might be crazy, but I know I'm in love with Ville..."
"He's just going to hurt you." Laughter filled the air.
"He wouldn't..."
"He would, because your not enough."
Bam looked at the floor. I'm probably not... he though to himself. Bam lied down on the bed. He stared at the ceiling. He felt something crawling up his leg. Bam sat up. "Fuck...I HATE THIS!"
He lied back down. "I'm fucking crazy and there's nothing I can do about it..." Until I get that surgery...then it'll all be gone. Bam smiled. "Then I'll be good enough..." he whispered to himself. He thought about Ville.
Ville sat in the small, hot therapy room.
"How are you?" Dr. Langston asked, in her normal, way to cheery, voice.
Ville looked at the ground. "Fine..."
"Why can't you talk to me?"
"I don't want to. I never have wanted to. Can I just go back to my room?" Ville said. I miss my Bammie...
"Don't you want out of this place?"
"Yes..." as long as Bammie can come with me...
"You haven't given up hope?"
"Nah..."
"But, you still don't believe in God?"
"Not exactly..."
"What do you believe in?"
"Karma...I also believe in fate and love." Ville said.
"That's better then nothing, isn't it?"
"Love definitely is..."
"What made you believe in love, Ville?"
Ville smiled, "Someone...who's amazing."
"How did you meet her?"
"Her? It's him..." Ville said.
"Oh...him?"
"Yeah, he's perfect." Ville looked out the window.
"Who is he?" Dr. Langston asked wearily.
"Bam...he's my roommate."
Dr. Langston nodded. "Have you always liked men?"
"I have." Ville said. "But never in my life have I felt this way about anyone...I even feel less irritable."
Dr. Langston kept writing in her notebook. "So this Bam, what's he like?"
"He's...energetic." Ville smiled. "I think he may even love me back...He's the one who suggested we push out beds together." Ville was silent for a second. "But, he is schizophrenic."
"Oh, I see. So he talks about hearing or seeing thing you can't."
"Yes, he's always talking about these voices. I wish he didn't have to see things and hear things...Once he woke up in the middle of the night, jumped up and said something was crawling on him...But, nothing was there." Ville sighed. "I just wish he was okay and nothing could ever bother him every again...But soon, he's going into surgery..."
Dr. Langston looked up at Ville. "You do realize after this surgery, his mind could think totally differently then it did to begin with."
Ville nodded. "I know..."
"That means he may not want to be...well he may not want you and him to be so close."
Ville nodded. "Yes...I know. That's what I'm afraid of. He's a beautiful person...I don't want that to change..."
Ville tried to move without waking Bam but, failed.
"What are you doing?" Bam asked sleepily.
Ville sighed, "I've got to go to therapy. But, I'll be back soon."
Bam continued to frown. "Oh."
Ville started to get up. But, Bam pulled him back down.
Bam smile. "Thought you could leave already?" He pressed his lips to Ville's. Ville smiled intot he kiss. Bam wrapped his arms around Ville and pulled away just to say "I love you". Then continued kissing him. Ville bit Bam's lip. Bam moaned into the kiss and moved his hand towards Ville's thigh.
Ville pulled away, "Bammie..." he warned, "I've got to go..." he gave an evil sort of smile. Then, left the room and headed down the hall.
Bam sighed. "I love you Ville Valo...more then anything."
"You don't know what love is."
"I do so..." Bam said out loud, to the empty room.
"Do not. You can't feel anything because you're crazy."
"I might be crazy, but I know I'm in love with Ville..."
"He's just going to hurt you." Laughter filled the air.
"He wouldn't..."
"He would, because your not enough."
Bam looked at the floor. I'm probably not... he though to himself. Bam lied down on the bed. He stared at the ceiling. He felt something crawling up his leg. Bam sat up. "Fuck...I HATE THIS!"
He lied back down. "I'm fucking crazy and there's nothing I can do about it..." Until I get that surgery...then it'll all be gone. Bam smiled. "Then I'll be good enough..." he whispered to himself. He thought about Ville.
Ville sat in the small, hot therapy room.
"How are you?" Dr. Langston asked, in her normal, way to cheery, voice.
Ville looked at the ground. "Fine..."
"Why can't you talk to me?"
"I don't want to. I never have wanted to. Can I just go back to my room?" Ville said. I miss my Bammie...
"Don't you want out of this place?"
"Yes..." as long as Bammie can come with me...
"You haven't given up hope?"
"Nah..."
"But, you still don't believe in God?"
"Not exactly..."
"What do you believe in?"
"Karma...I also believe in fate and love." Ville said.
"That's better then nothing, isn't it?"
"Love definitely is..."
"What made you believe in love, Ville?"
Ville smiled, "Someone...who's amazing."
"How did you meet her?"
"Her? It's him..." Ville said.
"Oh...him?"
"Yeah, he's perfect." Ville looked out the window.
"Who is he?" Dr. Langston asked wearily.
"Bam...he's my roommate."
Dr. Langston nodded. "Have you always liked men?"
"I have." Ville said. "But never in my life have I felt this way about anyone...I even feel less irritable."
Dr. Langston kept writing in her notebook. "So this Bam, what's he like?"
"He's...energetic." Ville smiled. "I think he may even love me back...He's the one who suggested we push out beds together." Ville was silent for a second. "But, he is schizophrenic."
"Oh, I see. So he talks about hearing or seeing thing you can't."
"Yes, he's always talking about these voices. I wish he didn't have to see things and hear things...Once he woke up in the middle of the night, jumped up and said something was crawling on him...But, nothing was there." Ville sighed. "I just wish he was okay and nothing could ever bother him every again...But soon, he's going into surgery..."
Dr. Langston looked up at Ville. "You do realize after this surgery, his mind could think totally differently then it did to begin with."
Ville nodded. "I know..."
"That means he may not want to be...well he may not want you and him to be so close."
Ville nodded. "Yes...I know. That's what I'm afraid of. He's a beautiful person...I don't want that to change..."