Therapy

"You were never a friend to me," she said.

We were standing on her porch in the scorching heat, and I was begging for forgiveness. I obviously wasn't doing that great of a job because her hands rested on her hips in a stance that clearly said, "I hate you. Get away from me. I never want to see you again." But I couldn't go down without a fight.

"Felicia, I--"

"You're what, Alex? Sorry? Sorry that you were too busy getting high to come over? Or sorry that I believed you for the eighth time when you said you would quit?"

"It wasn't my fault. Nolan came over, and I couldn't just leave. You know how he gets."

"Yeah, yeah. Save it. You can take back your misery. I don't want it. Now get off my porch. You can come back tomorrow to get your things. They'll be in boxes out here. Don't bother knocking on the door because I won't answer. Oh, and give me back your key."

As I dug in my pocket for the scrap of metal, I tried to reason with her. "Felicia--"

"Felicia?" said a voice from the door. Damn it. It was Megan. I prepared myself for the worst.

When her cold blue eyes turned my way, I actually flinched. Megan really, really, really never liked me. Even though I was always over and could almost be considered a roommate because I paid part of the bills, she hated me. With a passion. A burning one at that.

"You're such an arrogant boy, Alex. Can't you see that she doesn't want you? You're like a -- a walking travesty. I never got why a girl like Felicia would want some slacker idiot like you. Please, just crawl into a hole somewhere and love yourself so no one has to."

She turned to Felicia. "I needed to ask you something, but I'll just wait inside for you."

Once Megan was out of the way, I tried yet again to reason with my soon-to-be-ex girlfriend. "Felicia--"

But I was cut off yet again. Couldn't I say at least one thing without being interrupted?

"Please, Alex, just go to rehab. Get yourself some therapy. Then maybe we can talk."

And with that said, she turned around, entered the house, slammed the door in my face, and exited my life forever.

By the time I got back to my own house, I was ready to kill Nolan. He was sitting on the couch playing my video game. I jumped over the back of the couch and made a grab for his throat. We fell to the floor.

"Everything would have been just fine," I said while banging his head on the way-too-soft carpet, "if you hadn't come over."

He kneed my ass -- which didn't really hurt -- but caused me to lurch forward. Nolan gained the upper hand, we rolled, and I was under his body instead of the other way around. He secured my wrists with his knees so I couldn't punch him.

"I didn't tell you to smoke. I just told you to listen while I bitched about Carrie."

"Yeah, but if you hadn't come over, I could have convinced her that you just needed a friend. You knew I wanted to quit for her, but you came over anyway. You always come over. Damn it, you're hurting my wrists."

"Are you going to hit me if I let you up?" he asked.

"No."

When he gave me my hands back, I punched him in the nose.

He screamed in agony. "Ah, you bastard, what'd you do that for?"

I didn't answer because he already knew my reason. I just got up from the floor and sat on the couch. Clutching his nose, he did the same.

"Hurts like a bitch, but at least it's not bleeding," he said conversationally.

I flung my head back on the couch. "What am I going to do?" I moaned. "Felicia was my life."

"She's better off without you, dude. In fact, I'd be better off without you."

"Oh yeah?" I snapped. "But then who would you mooch off of like some sort of human leech? Huh?"

"I've got other friends," he answered honestly, never minding the insult.

I rolled my eyes. Nolan had never been known for his sincerity. He was a friend, yes, but he wasn't a very good one. Whenever he came over it was to complain about something or to eat all my food or to play my video games. He wasn't into listening about other people's problems.

After a moment's silence I spoke. "But seriously, how am I going to get her back?"

"How should I know?" he asked while picking up the game control. "She's never really said anything more than hello to me."

But I did know Felicia. She wanted more than anything to be with me. But even more than that she wanted me to be clean. So much so that she wouldn't be with me if I wasn't. I had to free myself from addiction. Isn't that what she had said herself?

I got off the couch and headed to the door.

"Alex? Where're you going?" Nolan called after me. "Hey, if you're going to Taco Bell, bring me back a couple of tacos. 'kay?"

I ignored him. I was through listening to him.

When I entered the white building, I went straight up to the front desk.

"May I help you?" the nurse asked boredly.

"Could you give me therapy?" I joked.

"Sir, this is a rehabilitation center. Rehabilitation is not a joking matter."

I nodded. "Sorry. Just trying to lighten the mood."

It took a long week for me to detox. They said I could leave after that point -- that I was technically clean -- but that treatment was usually continued for another couple of weeks or so. I was impatient to get back to Felicia, but I stayed another week just in case Nolan was still at my house. He was my major toxin I figured.

When I got out, I didn't immediately go to Felicia. I still had a lot of thoughts in mind. But after a few days of deep reflection, I was on Felicia's porch.

"Felicia, I've spent the last two weeks in rehab," I said when she opened the door.

She gasped. "Really?"

I nodded. Then I fished around in my back pocket for a folded paper.

"I, uh, wrote a song," I said. With a shaky hand, I handed over the lyrics.

She read it slowly. Too slowly. It seemed like forever, and I was about to die. Of embarrassment mostly, but also of regret for not getting help earlier.

"Isn't --"

I looked up quickly.

"Aren't some of these phrases what I said the other day?"

"Um, yeah. Yours and Megan's and even Nolan's."

She stepped down onto the porch and gave me a hug. "Alex, I don't know what to say."

"I do," I said. "I don't want to not have you in my life. I love you. With all my heart, I love you. Please, please say you'll take me back. I don't know what I'll do without you. You're like a drug to me. But you're also like -- like therapy. I don't want to be without you."

"Oh, Alex," she said into my shoulder.

"Does this mean you'll take me back?"

She pulled back, looked up into my eyes, and nodded. And I was the happiest man in the world.