The Truth

It began on the Honda Civic tour, really. Or at least, that's when it started for Jon and Spencer. For Brendon and Ryan, the Honda Civic tour was just another tour for them to do- more time for them to be together, more kisses to share, both onstage and off, somewhere in their four-year relationship.
But it was on the Honda Civic tour that Spencer finally found the balls (and the alcohol) to tell Jon how he felt. And Jon.... Well, he would never forget that night.

A soft giggle escaped Spencer's lips. "Jonny?"
An exasperated sigh flew out of Jon's. "Yeah, Spencer?"
"I love you."
"I know, buddy. Love you, too.." Jon pulled back the curtain to Spencer's bunk, ignoring how the three words sent his heartbeat into an irregular frenzy.
"No, I mean... I love you, Jon." And Spencer pressed his alcohol-tainted lips against Jon's dry ones, and Jon let him for some reason..
For some reason, that night, he let himself fall.

And for the next year, the two were very nearly as inseparable as Brendon and Ryan- attached by the hips (and often lips, hands, arms, and other body parts). The band radiated a surprisingly good feeling between the two couples. It was impossible to not see how in love the boys were with each other- especially Brendon and Ryan. There were the stares that went on for too long, the giggles at jokes that weren't funny, and playful flirting. Nobody knew, but that was okay with them. Sure, Brendon lost the necklace with Ryan's first pick on it (that they later found in the practice space when they were cleaning it out). But they were okay.
They were okay.

"Mm, hey, Bren?"
"Yeah, Ry-baby?"
Ryan would yawn, turning over and pressing his face into Brendon's cool, bare chest. "I love you."
This is when Brendon would grin, running a hand down Ryan's back gently. "I know."
And Ryan would giggle. "Night, Brendy."
"Good night, Ry."
It was routine.

Birthdays were shared. Christmases were celebrated. And engagements were made.

"Ryan?"
Ryan looked up through heavy-lidded eyes at Brendon. "Hm?"
"I have a question for you." Brendon propped up on one elbow, leaning over and letting his eyes sweep over Ryan's bare torso.
Ryan, however was past caring about Brendon's blatant ogling. "What is that?"
Brendon hesitated and disappeared from their bed. Ryan turned his head to watch as Brendon rooted through a door, then jumped back onto the bed, still naked and covered in a light sheen of sweat from earlier activities. In his hand was a black box, and he flicked it open easily to reveal a diamond ring.
"Marry me."
And Ryan didn't think twice as he murmured, "Of course," and pulled his fiance in for a kiss.

None of them thought it would end. They never entertained the thought that Ryan might one day be unfaithful to Brendon, or that Jon might be the one he would be unfaithful with.

"One... Two... Three!" Brendon and Spencer burst into Ryan and Jon's hotel room - the two had shared due to some much-needed "best friend time." "Happy birth-" The words began to get jumbled between the two boys as the sight was taken in.
"R-Ryan?" Brendon whispered, gripping onto the doorframe, his knees buckling.
"Brendon?" Ryan blinked, clearing his throat then. He started to smile, but frowned at the sight of Brendon starting to cry. "What's wrong?"
"Ryan! What the fuck-" Brendon broke off as a sob caught in his throat.
"I- Oh." Ryan's eyes widened. "Oh."
"Fuck you, Ryan."
Brendon's words were echoed by Spencer, whose horrified eyes were stuck on the naked boy beside Ryan, just now waking up. "Fuck you, Jon."
And Spencer pushed Brendon out the door, slamming it shut behind them.
They found a bathroom on the lobby level, and collapsed in the handicapped stall, crying together.

"Brendon, I am sorry."
"No, you're not." Brendon's eyes were blazing. "Just leave."
"No.. I didn't mean to."
A similar case was being pleaded at Spencer's apartment. "Baby, you know I didn't mean to hurt you."
"Congratulations, you did."
"Spencer-"
"Jon, shut up. I don't want to see you, ever." Spencer drew in a deep breath. "I don't know if you know this yet, but you will now. Jon, I'm leaving the band. I don't want to see you," he repeated. "Ever."

But things change. After long nights- a lot of very long nights- spent on the phone with Brendon, Spencer was no longer even thinking of leaving the band.
They were going to kick Ryan and Jon out.

"Listen to me right now," Brendon hissed, grabbing Ryan's jaw and forcing it up, making Ryan look at him. "You can either quit the band right now. Leave with some dignity, and nobody ever learns what happens. Or, we can kick you out- Spencer and I will tell everybody. Everybody. And then nobody will want you."
"What about Jon and-"
"Of course, you're worried about Jon. Well, just so you know, he's getting this same speech from Spencer. So make up your mind. I suggest you do it quickly."

Monday, July 06, 2009
To Whom This May Concern

Ryan Ross and Jon Walker will be leaving Panic at the Disco to embark on a musical excursion of their own. Though the four of us have made music together in the past, we’ve creatively evolved in different directions which has compromised what each of us want to personally achieve. Over the years, we have remained close and honest with each other, which helped us to realize that our goals were different and that parting ways is truly what is best for each of us. We are all excited for the future, you should be too.

-Ryan & Jon

Stay posted to the Panic site for updates on Ryan and Jon’s new project, as well as a message from Brendon and Spencer who will continue on as Panic At The Disco. All touring and album plans for Panic will continue as previously announced.

Monday, July 06, 2009
from Brendon and Spencer

We just wanted to let you know, that the news of Ryan and Jon leaving the band is unfortunately true. It's been an amazing journey being in a band with them, but sometimes individual tastes take friends in different directions and you can't ignore it. They are some of the most talented guys we know, and we're sure that whatever they do next will be great. That said, Panic At The Disco is alive and very very well. We are working on new songs that we are excited for you to hear. Our dates with Blink and Fall Out Boy start in a little less than a month, and we wouldn't miss those for the world. We know everybody has a lot of questions at this point with everything being so out of the blue, most of those should be answered in the coming weeks. We appreciate every one of you, and hope you continue with us on this incredible ride.

Pay attention we have a surprise in store for you.

-Brendon and Spencer

PS we were cleaning out the practice space and you’ll never guess what we found!