Du bist nicht alleine... Ich bin an deiner Seite
Chapter 1
~Spencer’s POV~
Watching my sister… Yuk… Why did mom have to go out with her boyfriend if when she knows I’ve got homework to do? Ever since my dad moved out, there have been nothing but struggles between me and her, while we used to be such good friends in the past.
"Spencer! I’m going out with Gerard today! Don’t wait up for me, it’ll be late!” mom shouts from downstairs.
“Again? You’re hardly ever home when I am!” I storm out of my bedroom.
“Would you mind babysitting your sister while I’m gone?” she asks with a sweet voice.
“Mom, that’s the fucking third time this week! I’ve got school tomorrow and I’ve got a whole bunch of homework to do. How can I possibly concentrate on my homework while she’s always asking me to play with her?” I say, motioning at Emily’s room.
“I can’t cancel the date, honey. Gerard asked me to be there.” Mom says and I roll my eyes.
“You’ve got a family to support, mom! Why doesn’t he just get his ass out here and sit with us?” I ask, letting her know that I’ve only seen the guy once.
“Because we want to be on ourselves, without kids.” Mom replies and I roll my eyes again.
“You just won’t admit that he doesn’t like Emily and me! He’s an asshole, mom and you fucking know it. Why don’t you just dump him? He isn’t worth your love!” I shout, getting angry.
“Spencer Smith, god fucking dammit! Listen to me! Gerard loves you okay? We’ve been dating for two years after your dad moved out of here. Can’t I just be happy for once? Can’t you give me one chance to make this family work?”
“I already gave you that chance when dad left, mom.”
“That’s not fair, Spencer!”
“Leaving me with her again isn’t fair either. But you go and fuck him, I don’t even care, as long as you don’t come telling me I’ll have to watch on the kid you and him made as well.” I spit at her as I move back to my room, closing the door as hard as I can.
There’s a knock on my door right in the middle when I’m studying my German vocabulary. Please tell me this isn’t happening. If she comes asking me if I want to play with her, I swear I’ll kick her out of my room before she can even pronounce the word “play”.
“What is it?” I ask, rolling my eyes and turning towards the door to meet with Emily’s hazel eyes. They’re glazy and her eyes are red from crying.
“C-Can I-I c-come i-in?” my thirteen year old sister asks, stuttering a little.
“Come on in.” I reply, getting up from my chair.
She sits down on my bed, starting to sob a little. I throw my arm around her shoulder, wiping her tears away and looking at her.
“Why do you and mommy always fight?” she asks and a bulge makes its way up in my throat.
“Because mommy and I don’t get along anymore.” I reply, trying not to make this too hard for her.
“But why, Spency? You and mom used to get along fine before she introduced Gerard to us.” She asks, sniffling.
“Because I don’t think Gerard loves us all that much, if you ask me. But mom doesn’t notice and she just does whatever she thinks is good for us. When he orders her to jump, she’ll ask him how high.”, I explain, hugging her and rocking her like a little baby.
“I just want mom to be happy again, like she was before dad left.” Emily says and it’s then I realize that she’s got as much troubles with dad leaving as I had when he actually left.
“I know, Em, I know. And what she’s doing now, isn’t fair at all towards us. I may be eighteen, I still have got work for school to do… I can’t do everything around here.” I state, and she pulls back from the hug.
“I can help you if you want me to. I kind of taught myself how do make a decent dinner without screwing up.” She states and there’s a proud look in her eyes.
“That would be wonderful, I’m starving and I don’t think mom left us something to eat before she left.” I reply, smiling at her.
Em… she’s an amazing sister, really. We can have fights and bitch fits, mostly because she likes wearing my shirts a lot, and using my make-up, but besides that, I don’t think we’d be able to miss each other for more than a day. We share the same interest in music as well, which can lead to her stealing my records sometimes, and me stealing hers when she doesn’t notice, but it’s cool to have a sister like her. We giggle a lot. She’s also the only one who knows I’m different than every other guy. One day, she came up to me while I was watching a picture on my pc. It was a picture of Ryan, my best friend. At first, she got scared that I was some kind of psycho who wanted to kill her, but when I explained her that I love him, she said it was okay. I was so glad she was okay with me being gay. I was terrified to let her know, but when she said that love was love and shrugged, my heart jumped and I hugged her. From that day on, we’ve grown closer together. Mom doesn’t know a thing and she’s constantly trying me to hook up with Lynn, a girl from the neighbourhood, but she’s really a bitch, even Em thinks she’s a bitch. And I don’t want to date girls in my entire life, so yea, since that day, mom is constantly asking me when I’ll bring a girl home. Constantly, as in each day, which results in a fight each day as well. I nearly told her that I was gay once, because I couldn’t take it anymore. But Em stopped me right when I was about to tell her. Oh and Ryan, he doesn’t know that I’m in love with him. I wish he did, because he’s all I dream of lately. Him and me, together… I wouldn’t want anything more than that.
Watching my sister… Yuk… Why did mom have to go out with her boyfriend if when she knows I’ve got homework to do? Ever since my dad moved out, there have been nothing but struggles between me and her, while we used to be such good friends in the past.
"Spencer! I’m going out with Gerard today! Don’t wait up for me, it’ll be late!” mom shouts from downstairs.
“Again? You’re hardly ever home when I am!” I storm out of my bedroom.
“Would you mind babysitting your sister while I’m gone?” she asks with a sweet voice.
“Mom, that’s the fucking third time this week! I’ve got school tomorrow and I’ve got a whole bunch of homework to do. How can I possibly concentrate on my homework while she’s always asking me to play with her?” I say, motioning at Emily’s room.
“I can’t cancel the date, honey. Gerard asked me to be there.” Mom says and I roll my eyes.
“You’ve got a family to support, mom! Why doesn’t he just get his ass out here and sit with us?” I ask, letting her know that I’ve only seen the guy once.
“Because we want to be on ourselves, without kids.” Mom replies and I roll my eyes again.
“You just won’t admit that he doesn’t like Emily and me! He’s an asshole, mom and you fucking know it. Why don’t you just dump him? He isn’t worth your love!” I shout, getting angry.
“Spencer Smith, god fucking dammit! Listen to me! Gerard loves you okay? We’ve been dating for two years after your dad moved out of here. Can’t I just be happy for once? Can’t you give me one chance to make this family work?”
“I already gave you that chance when dad left, mom.”
“That’s not fair, Spencer!”
“Leaving me with her again isn’t fair either. But you go and fuck him, I don’t even care, as long as you don’t come telling me I’ll have to watch on the kid you and him made as well.” I spit at her as I move back to my room, closing the door as hard as I can.
There’s a knock on my door right in the middle when I’m studying my German vocabulary. Please tell me this isn’t happening. If she comes asking me if I want to play with her, I swear I’ll kick her out of my room before she can even pronounce the word “play”.
“What is it?” I ask, rolling my eyes and turning towards the door to meet with Emily’s hazel eyes. They’re glazy and her eyes are red from crying.
“C-Can I-I c-come i-in?” my thirteen year old sister asks, stuttering a little.
“Come on in.” I reply, getting up from my chair.
She sits down on my bed, starting to sob a little. I throw my arm around her shoulder, wiping her tears away and looking at her.
“Why do you and mommy always fight?” she asks and a bulge makes its way up in my throat.
“Because mommy and I don’t get along anymore.” I reply, trying not to make this too hard for her.
“But why, Spency? You and mom used to get along fine before she introduced Gerard to us.” She asks, sniffling.
“Because I don’t think Gerard loves us all that much, if you ask me. But mom doesn’t notice and she just does whatever she thinks is good for us. When he orders her to jump, she’ll ask him how high.”, I explain, hugging her and rocking her like a little baby.
“I just want mom to be happy again, like she was before dad left.” Emily says and it’s then I realize that she’s got as much troubles with dad leaving as I had when he actually left.
“I know, Em, I know. And what she’s doing now, isn’t fair at all towards us. I may be eighteen, I still have got work for school to do… I can’t do everything around here.” I state, and she pulls back from the hug.
“I can help you if you want me to. I kind of taught myself how do make a decent dinner without screwing up.” She states and there’s a proud look in her eyes.
“That would be wonderful, I’m starving and I don’t think mom left us something to eat before she left.” I reply, smiling at her.
Em… she’s an amazing sister, really. We can have fights and bitch fits, mostly because she likes wearing my shirts a lot, and using my make-up, but besides that, I don’t think we’d be able to miss each other for more than a day. We share the same interest in music as well, which can lead to her stealing my records sometimes, and me stealing hers when she doesn’t notice, but it’s cool to have a sister like her. We giggle a lot. She’s also the only one who knows I’m different than every other guy. One day, she came up to me while I was watching a picture on my pc. It was a picture of Ryan, my best friend. At first, she got scared that I was some kind of psycho who wanted to kill her, but when I explained her that I love him, she said it was okay. I was so glad she was okay with me being gay. I was terrified to let her know, but when she said that love was love and shrugged, my heart jumped and I hugged her. From that day on, we’ve grown closer together. Mom doesn’t know a thing and she’s constantly trying me to hook up with Lynn, a girl from the neighbourhood, but she’s really a bitch, even Em thinks she’s a bitch. And I don’t want to date girls in my entire life, so yea, since that day, mom is constantly asking me when I’ll bring a girl home. Constantly, as in each day, which results in a fight each day as well. I nearly told her that I was gay once, because I couldn’t take it anymore. But Em stopped me right when I was about to tell her. Oh and Ryan, he doesn’t know that I’m in love with him. I wish he did, because he’s all I dream of lately. Him and me, together… I wouldn’t want anything more than that.