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Chapter 4
~Spencer’s POV~
I grab the remote from the TV, trying to avoid every form of eye contact with Ryan.
“Did she tell you when she was going to be home?” He eventually asks.
“Who?” I ask back, looking at him.
“Your mom.” Ryan replies and I slap myself for the dumb question.
“She told me it was going to be late.” I reply, shrugging.
“I really wish I could make it better for you.” He says, and again, I feel butterflies well up in my stomach.
Again, because when I noticed I was on top of him, I slightly panicked. I couldn’t help but blush.
“I don’t think there’s something you can do about her. I tried talking some sense in to her, but apparently, she only listens to what he says.” I say, flicking through the channels on the TV in front of us.
“Bugger. It’s stupid that she doesn’t want to listen to you. You’re her only… hey wait, go back for a sec, will you?” he says.
“Huh? What for?” I ask, going back through the channels.
“That’s Johnny Depp!” Ryan squeals and it makes me smile.
“And Orlando Bloom.” I add, smiling.
“Pirates Of The Carribean.” We both say and giggle afterwards.
“That man is the ultimate form of sexiness.” I say, taking some nuts out of the bowl.
Ryan looks at me intently, as if what I said was something extraordinary. Like I’m some kind of alien.
“Did you just say Johnny Depp is the ultimate form of sexiness?” he asks, disbelieving me.
“Yea. Come on, you’ve got to admit that he’s hot.” I state, pointing at the TV-screen.
“It’s not that…” he says, shaking his head.
“Then what is it?” I ask, not understanding what he’s saying.
“Nothing, never mind.” He says, switching from me to the screen.
“Ry… What do you mean? I don’t understand. What’s wrong with saying that Johnny Depp is sexy?” I ask, putting my hand upon his cheek.
“Nothing, okay? I just had a complete different thought in my mind.” He says, putting my hand back on my lap.
Fuck, what did I do? Why did I put my hand on his cheek? Why did I even say Johnny Depp is sexy? It’s pretty obvious that he doesn’t like me the way I like him. Tears jump in my eyes and I excuse myself, running off to the bathroom. I lock the bathroom door behind me, erasing the stains of eyeliner. What the hell did I do? How stupid can one be? I look in the mirror and more tears well up. I’m so fucking stupid! I bang my fist against the wall. He doesn’t love me. He doesn’t love me.
“Spence?” a knock on the door interrupts my thoughts.
I don’t know what to do, I don’t want to unlock the door. But my heart is telling me to unlock it. Eventually, I follow what my heart is saying and I unlock the door to the bathroom. I sit on the side of the bath, burying my head in my hands.
“Spence, what’s wrong?” Ryan asks, sitting down next to me.
“Nothing, I’m okay.” I lie, I don’t want him to look at me like I’m some kind of perv.
“Don’t lie to me, Spence. When you’re okay, you don’t run off crying like that.” Ryan says, running his hand over my back.
Butterflies well up again when he does that, it feels so amazingly good.
“Come on. I’m your best friend, you can tell me what’s wrong. You know I can keep my mouth shut.” Ryan says, trying to comfort me.
“I know, Ry. I just can’t tell you this one. I’m sorry.” I say, going back to honest.
“Is it that difficult to tell your best friend about your problems?” he asks, and I nod.
Ryan holds me close to him, and it feels like I’m in heaven or something. If only he knew how I feel when he’s around or when he’s not around. What he’s doing now is more than I’ve ever wished for and I don’t want to let go of him.
I grab the remote from the TV, trying to avoid every form of eye contact with Ryan.
“Did she tell you when she was going to be home?” He eventually asks.
“Who?” I ask back, looking at him.
“Your mom.” Ryan replies and I slap myself for the dumb question.
“She told me it was going to be late.” I reply, shrugging.
“I really wish I could make it better for you.” He says, and again, I feel butterflies well up in my stomach.
Again, because when I noticed I was on top of him, I slightly panicked. I couldn’t help but blush.
“I don’t think there’s something you can do about her. I tried talking some sense in to her, but apparently, she only listens to what he says.” I say, flicking through the channels on the TV in front of us.
“Bugger. It’s stupid that she doesn’t want to listen to you. You’re her only… hey wait, go back for a sec, will you?” he says.
“Huh? What for?” I ask, going back through the channels.
“That’s Johnny Depp!” Ryan squeals and it makes me smile.
“And Orlando Bloom.” I add, smiling.
“Pirates Of The Carribean.” We both say and giggle afterwards.
“That man is the ultimate form of sexiness.” I say, taking some nuts out of the bowl.
Ryan looks at me intently, as if what I said was something extraordinary. Like I’m some kind of alien.
“Did you just say Johnny Depp is the ultimate form of sexiness?” he asks, disbelieving me.
“Yea. Come on, you’ve got to admit that he’s hot.” I state, pointing at the TV-screen.
“It’s not that…” he says, shaking his head.
“Then what is it?” I ask, not understanding what he’s saying.
“Nothing, never mind.” He says, switching from me to the screen.
“Ry… What do you mean? I don’t understand. What’s wrong with saying that Johnny Depp is sexy?” I ask, putting my hand upon his cheek.
“Nothing, okay? I just had a complete different thought in my mind.” He says, putting my hand back on my lap.
Fuck, what did I do? Why did I put my hand on his cheek? Why did I even say Johnny Depp is sexy? It’s pretty obvious that he doesn’t like me the way I like him. Tears jump in my eyes and I excuse myself, running off to the bathroom. I lock the bathroom door behind me, erasing the stains of eyeliner. What the hell did I do? How stupid can one be? I look in the mirror and more tears well up. I’m so fucking stupid! I bang my fist against the wall. He doesn’t love me. He doesn’t love me.
“Spence?” a knock on the door interrupts my thoughts.
I don’t know what to do, I don’t want to unlock the door. But my heart is telling me to unlock it. Eventually, I follow what my heart is saying and I unlock the door to the bathroom. I sit on the side of the bath, burying my head in my hands.
“Spence, what’s wrong?” Ryan asks, sitting down next to me.
“Nothing, I’m okay.” I lie, I don’t want him to look at me like I’m some kind of perv.
“Don’t lie to me, Spence. When you’re okay, you don’t run off crying like that.” Ryan says, running his hand over my back.
Butterflies well up again when he does that, it feels so amazingly good.
“Come on. I’m your best friend, you can tell me what’s wrong. You know I can keep my mouth shut.” Ryan says, trying to comfort me.
“I know, Ry. I just can’t tell you this one. I’m sorry.” I say, going back to honest.
“Is it that difficult to tell your best friend about your problems?” he asks, and I nod.
Ryan holds me close to him, and it feels like I’m in heaven or something. If only he knew how I feel when he’s around or when he’s not around. What he’s doing now is more than I’ve ever wished for and I don’t want to let go of him.