Boys and Girls. Love and Heartbreak. You're In The Game.
Frank Iero's Point of View. Part One.
..::Frank Iero’s Point Of View::..
She just got up and ran out of the room. I looked at the other guy’s. They all looked just as confused as me.
“Go see what’s wrong! She is your best friend after all” Gerard almost ordered me. I nodded in agreement and proceeded to run after her. She was only half way up the stairs when I got to her, but I knew she wouldn’t just stop. I’d have to get hold of her, which is harder than it sounds.
“Phoebe please. Tell me what’s wrong! Please. I want to help. You’re my best friend, best friends help best friends” I pleaded to her, but she still wouldn’t stop. She just kept on running away from me. I have no idea why, what did I do? What did I say? What is going on in that head of hers. it’s a mystery to me.
She just got to the top of the stairs and I was right behind her. Just about to grab hold of her waist and hold her back when she ran to the bathroom. Why the hell does she have to be so quick? She got the bathroom and slammed the door right in my face. I shoved all my weight against the door but she had already locked it.
“PHOEBE LET ME IN PLEASE!” I yelled through the door, pounding my fits into the door. I cant imagine what she’s doing. I only hope she isn’t falling into her old way’s, but with Phoebe, and in this state, I’m not sure really anymore. “PHOEBE PLEASE!” I cried once more, hitting the door as with all my strength. “PHOEBE LET ME IN PLEASE! PLEASE! PHOEBE PLEASE!” I don’t understand her. Why did she just run out like that? Why wont she talk to me? It’s killing me not knowing what’s wrong. I’m supposed to be her best friend and she wont let me in anymore. I still tell her everything. She knows me better than anyone else In the world, and I thought I knew her. Your supposed to be able to tell your best friend anything. W always have told secrets and listened to each other so why is now any different? We have known each other since we were three; now were twenty five, that’s twenty two years we’ve known each other. I don’t understand it. "PHOEBE PLEASE! DON'T DO ANYTHING STUPID! JUST LET ME IN! PLEASE! PHOEBE PLEASE!" I know what she can get like, when she locks herself away. She used to-do bad things to herself but I made her promise never to do it again. Whether she’ll keep that promise is a completely different matter though.
I knew the door wouldn’t just magically open by hitting it with my fist, and it was obvious now that Phoebe wasn’t going to let me in any time soon. So I started to kick the bloody door. Soon enough after kicking it a few times it came off its hinges and fell to the floor.
There I stood. In the door way of the bathroom where my best friend is sat against the wall, tears streaming down her pretty face, make-up smudged and blood. Everywhere. She sat there staring at me for a moment and them quickly looked back at her arm. She broke a promise. The first promise she has ever broken. She broke a promise. She broke the promise she made to Me.
“Oh Phoebe.. Why?” I asked breaking the deafening silence. Who knew that silence could be deafening, well I just found out it is. I stood there staring at her for a moment and occasionally glancing at the blood on the floor, not to mention pouring out of her arm, I stepped forward towards her but she moved slightly away.
She shook her head slightly “That’s something I cant tell you..” with that last sentence I saw her tense up so much, she pushed that object I hate the most, further into her arm, so deep it was like you couldn’t see it anymore. After a few seconds I could see her eye’s closing slightly and sliding against the wall. I couldn’t just stand there and watch her die. I caught her just before she hit the floor, and I couldn’t help myself anymore. I cried. I couldn’t be brave. She was my best friend, the only person I knew I could talk to, the only person in this whole world who knew what it was like to be me. Now I might be loosing her. I can’t imagine life without her. She opened her eyes slightly but then her slightly tense body went completely limp and felt dead. I felt like screaming, so I did.
“GERARD!!!” I shouted as loud as I could “GERARD WAY GET HERE NOW!” I could hear him running up the stairs, along with all the rest of the guys, but they can’t get here quick enough, I need them here, I need their help. Suddenly the sound of people running up the stares ceased. They were behind me. I could feel their eyes burning holes into my neck trying to see what was wrong.
“Frankie, what’s happened?” Gerard asked quietly. I could hear in his voice he suspected the worse, and from the tension in the room so did everyone else.
“She’s dying. Call An Ambulance.” I said simply. I didn’t hear any movement. I turned to face them. “CALL A FUCKING AMBULANCE!” I shouted at them, I saw Holly looking shocked and tensed up when I shouted, she‘s never seen me cry, or shout like that before, I don’t want her to be scared of me, but my best friend is laying almost dead in my arms. How am I supposed to be? Mikey turned away and ran back down the stares to phone for an ambulance. Ray and Bob just looked so shocked that they didn’t know what else to do but stare. I looked at Gerard again, he was almost in tears as well, he has known Phoebe as long as I have, they were close, we we’re all close.
“Frankie” Mikey said at the top of the stairs “Ambulance will be here soon.. She’ll be fine.” he said with a weak smile, I know he’s trying to help but I can’t help but feel so angry, how can be so sure she’ll be okay, he cant.
“Come on guys, lets wait outside for the ambulance” Gerard said walking towards Mikey and going down stairs, everyone followed apart from me, and Holly. I held Phoebe in my arms tight and made sure she didn’t slip from me, I’m not letting go on her, she can’t leave me. I could feel a faint heart beat against my own chest as I held her close, that reassured me that she was okay, well alive, she’s not okay, she’s just alive. A few more tears fell from my eyes onto her cheeks, I quickly wiped them off her and then wiped my own eyes. I don’t want to cry anymore, no matter how much pain I’m in, she wouldn’t want to see me cry. I’ll be brave for her.
“Frankie baby..” Holly whispered faintly, I could barely hear her “Are you okay baby?” I cant believe she’s asking me this, what a stupid question.
“No. I’m Not oh-fucking-kay” I said, well stated rather coldly “My best friend is laying almost dead in my arms, I’m going to loose her, my best friend, do you even know what that feels like? To be so close to loosing someone so close to you? the person you have known all you life? The person who was always there for you even if you weren’t there for her? The person who knew everything about you? No You don’t. I’m loosing her. And its all my fault” She’s never seen me like this, I didn’t want her to, but its my best friend, I’m aloud to be a little snappy with people.
“Fine be like that Frankie, I’ll see you around” She said harshly and walked down the stairs, I heard mikey and Gerard ask where she was going but she just ignored them. The one time I ever need her to be there for me and not to ask questions, to just be there and listen to me and comfort me, she walks out on me. I love her but if she cant be there for me when I need her most I… I well don’t know. Phoebe suddenly went all tense and tight like she couldn’t breath, and then she just went limp. I pulled her closer to me but I couldn’t feel her heart beating.
“GERARD! GERARD!” I couldn’t help it I had to cry, I cant be brave “Is the ambulance here yet?” I asked with panic in my voice, and still trying to find her pulse. He simply shock his head in shame “GERARD I CANT FIND A PULSE” I half yelled, half sobbed, he rushed over and tried desperately to find a pulse with me, our tries have been in vain we couldn’t find one anywhere.
“GERARD! FRANK! THE AMBULANCE IS HERE!” Shouted Mikey to us, soon followed by pounding footsteps coming up the stairs. I looked at Gerard, he had tears rolling down his cheeks, he ran his bloody hand’s through the mess of black hair on top of his head and stood up.
“We think she’s died.” he stated quietly to the paramedic. About three paramedics came over to me and took her out of my arms and put her on a stretch board thing and quickly yet so carefully took her away from me. Gerard came over to me and just hugged me. I sobbed uncontrollably into his chest and he just stood there and let me. I could feel it that he was crying as well. I pulled away from our hug and ran down the stairs.
“I NEED TO GO WITH HER!” I shouted just as the last paramedic got into the ambulance, he looked at me with confusion.
“Fine.” he said and got out of the ambulance and opened the back up to where phoebe was. About four or five men were crowding round her and trying to get her to breath again. I stood in awe as I saw them try and get her to breath again. She looked perfect, even when covered in blood. Her skin so pale and tinted slightly blue, with black seams around her eyes, and blood, well basically covering the top half of her body. Its an awful sight to see the person youlove call your best friend in, its always going to stick in my mind now.
She just got up and ran out of the room. I looked at the other guy’s. They all looked just as confused as me.
“Go see what’s wrong! She is your best friend after all” Gerard almost ordered me. I nodded in agreement and proceeded to run after her. She was only half way up the stairs when I got to her, but I knew she wouldn’t just stop. I’d have to get hold of her, which is harder than it sounds.
“Phoebe please. Tell me what’s wrong! Please. I want to help. You’re my best friend, best friends help best friends” I pleaded to her, but she still wouldn’t stop. She just kept on running away from me. I have no idea why, what did I do? What did I say? What is going on in that head of hers. it’s a mystery to me.
She just got to the top of the stairs and I was right behind her. Just about to grab hold of her waist and hold her back when she ran to the bathroom. Why the hell does she have to be so quick? She got the bathroom and slammed the door right in my face. I shoved all my weight against the door but she had already locked it.
“PHOEBE LET ME IN PLEASE!” I yelled through the door, pounding my fits into the door. I cant imagine what she’s doing. I only hope she isn’t falling into her old way’s, but with Phoebe, and in this state, I’m not sure really anymore. “PHOEBE PLEASE!” I cried once more, hitting the door as with all my strength. “PHOEBE LET ME IN PLEASE! PLEASE! PHOEBE PLEASE!” I don’t understand her. Why did she just run out like that? Why wont she talk to me? It’s killing me not knowing what’s wrong. I’m supposed to be her best friend and she wont let me in anymore. I still tell her everything. She knows me better than anyone else In the world, and I thought I knew her. Your supposed to be able to tell your best friend anything. W always have told secrets and listened to each other so why is now any different? We have known each other since we were three; now were twenty five, that’s twenty two years we’ve known each other. I don’t understand it. "PHOEBE PLEASE! DON'T DO ANYTHING STUPID! JUST LET ME IN! PLEASE! PHOEBE PLEASE!" I know what she can get like, when she locks herself away. She used to-do bad things to herself but I made her promise never to do it again. Whether she’ll keep that promise is a completely different matter though.
I knew the door wouldn’t just magically open by hitting it with my fist, and it was obvious now that Phoebe wasn’t going to let me in any time soon. So I started to kick the bloody door. Soon enough after kicking it a few times it came off its hinges and fell to the floor.
There I stood. In the door way of the bathroom where my best friend is sat against the wall, tears streaming down her pretty face, make-up smudged and blood. Everywhere. She sat there staring at me for a moment and them quickly looked back at her arm. She broke a promise. The first promise she has ever broken. She broke a promise. She broke the promise she made to Me.
“Oh Phoebe.. Why?” I asked breaking the deafening silence. Who knew that silence could be deafening, well I just found out it is. I stood there staring at her for a moment and occasionally glancing at the blood on the floor, not to mention pouring out of her arm, I stepped forward towards her but she moved slightly away.
She shook her head slightly “That’s something I cant tell you..” with that last sentence I saw her tense up so much, she pushed that object I hate the most, further into her arm, so deep it was like you couldn’t see it anymore. After a few seconds I could see her eye’s closing slightly and sliding against the wall. I couldn’t just stand there and watch her die. I caught her just before she hit the floor, and I couldn’t help myself anymore. I cried. I couldn’t be brave. She was my best friend, the only person I knew I could talk to, the only person in this whole world who knew what it was like to be me. Now I might be loosing her. I can’t imagine life without her. She opened her eyes slightly but then her slightly tense body went completely limp and felt dead. I felt like screaming, so I did.
“GERARD!!!” I shouted as loud as I could “GERARD WAY GET HERE NOW!” I could hear him running up the stairs, along with all the rest of the guys, but they can’t get here quick enough, I need them here, I need their help. Suddenly the sound of people running up the stares ceased. They were behind me. I could feel their eyes burning holes into my neck trying to see what was wrong.
“Frankie, what’s happened?” Gerard asked quietly. I could hear in his voice he suspected the worse, and from the tension in the room so did everyone else.
“She’s dying. Call An Ambulance.” I said simply. I didn’t hear any movement. I turned to face them. “CALL A FUCKING AMBULANCE!” I shouted at them, I saw Holly looking shocked and tensed up when I shouted, she‘s never seen me cry, or shout like that before, I don’t want her to be scared of me, but my best friend is laying almost dead in my arms. How am I supposed to be? Mikey turned away and ran back down the stares to phone for an ambulance. Ray and Bob just looked so shocked that they didn’t know what else to do but stare. I looked at Gerard again, he was almost in tears as well, he has known Phoebe as long as I have, they were close, we we’re all close.
“Frankie” Mikey said at the top of the stairs “Ambulance will be here soon.. She’ll be fine.” he said with a weak smile, I know he’s trying to help but I can’t help but feel so angry, how can be so sure she’ll be okay, he cant.
“Come on guys, lets wait outside for the ambulance” Gerard said walking towards Mikey and going down stairs, everyone followed apart from me, and Holly. I held Phoebe in my arms tight and made sure she didn’t slip from me, I’m not letting go on her, she can’t leave me. I could feel a faint heart beat against my own chest as I held her close, that reassured me that she was okay, well alive, she’s not okay, she’s just alive. A few more tears fell from my eyes onto her cheeks, I quickly wiped them off her and then wiped my own eyes. I don’t want to cry anymore, no matter how much pain I’m in, she wouldn’t want to see me cry. I’ll be brave for her.
“Frankie baby..” Holly whispered faintly, I could barely hear her “Are you okay baby?” I cant believe she’s asking me this, what a stupid question.
“No. I’m Not oh-fucking-kay” I said, well stated rather coldly “My best friend is laying almost dead in my arms, I’m going to loose her, my best friend, do you even know what that feels like? To be so close to loosing someone so close to you? the person you have known all you life? The person who was always there for you even if you weren’t there for her? The person who knew everything about you? No You don’t. I’m loosing her. And its all my fault” She’s never seen me like this, I didn’t want her to, but its my best friend, I’m aloud to be a little snappy with people.
“Fine be like that Frankie, I’ll see you around” She said harshly and walked down the stairs, I heard mikey and Gerard ask where she was going but she just ignored them. The one time I ever need her to be there for me and not to ask questions, to just be there and listen to me and comfort me, she walks out on me. I love her but if she cant be there for me when I need her most I… I well don’t know. Phoebe suddenly went all tense and tight like she couldn’t breath, and then she just went limp. I pulled her closer to me but I couldn’t feel her heart beating.
“GERARD! GERARD!” I couldn’t help it I had to cry, I cant be brave “Is the ambulance here yet?” I asked with panic in my voice, and still trying to find her pulse. He simply shock his head in shame “GERARD I CANT FIND A PULSE” I half yelled, half sobbed, he rushed over and tried desperately to find a pulse with me, our tries have been in vain we couldn’t find one anywhere.
“GERARD! FRANK! THE AMBULANCE IS HERE!” Shouted Mikey to us, soon followed by pounding footsteps coming up the stairs. I looked at Gerard, he had tears rolling down his cheeks, he ran his bloody hand’s through the mess of black hair on top of his head and stood up.
“We think she’s died.” he stated quietly to the paramedic. About three paramedics came over to me and took her out of my arms and put her on a stretch board thing and quickly yet so carefully took her away from me. Gerard came over to me and just hugged me. I sobbed uncontrollably into his chest and he just stood there and let me. I could feel it that he was crying as well. I pulled away from our hug and ran down the stairs.
“I NEED TO GO WITH HER!” I shouted just as the last paramedic got into the ambulance, he looked at me with confusion.
“Fine.” he said and got out of the ambulance and opened the back up to where phoebe was. About four or five men were crowding round her and trying to get her to breath again. I stood in awe as I saw them try and get her to breath again. She looked perfect, even when covered in blood. Her skin so pale and tinted slightly blue, with black seams around her eyes, and blood, well basically covering the top half of her body. Its an awful sight to see the person youlove call your best friend in, its always going to stick in my mind now.