Boys and Girls. Love and Heartbreak. You're In The Game.
Frank Iero's Point of View. Part Three.
… Time Elapse …
..::Still Frank Iero’s Point Of View::..
I walked to her room. The first time I will have seen her in about 3 hours of the incident and I cant believe how much I’m shaking. I stand staring at the door to her private room. I want to open it and see her, but I’m afraid of what I’ll see. It’s a sort of complex situation you see, I can run away and risk her being awake and think I don’t want to see her, or she might still be in a coma… I guess I’ll never know until I step inside and find out. I took a breath and took hold of the door handle and turned it and stepped in.
There she lay, my best friend. The only person I have ever been able to be myself around. Now she lay there, hooked to so many machines, in a undisturbed slumber. She lay in the middle of the bed, one arm bandaged up and so many wires hooked to her body. I want to just rip them all off and take her home, but I know I’d probably do more damage doing that. I cautiously step towards her with my stomach doing loops, my mouth feeling dry and my hands sweaty. I pull the chair up next to her bed and take hold of her hand, its cold, too cold. I stare at her for a while. Her naturally pale skin looking ever paler now, her pink red lips now a white pink colour, her pink black and white hair now messed about everywhere. Even at a time like this she still manages to look so beautiful. How such a person with such great beauty can say their ugly is a mystery to me.
“Hey Pheeb’s” I said in a whisper “I hope you can hear me, It’s me Frankie. Just come to see you I guess.” I started not really knowing what to say to her, I’m not even sure if she can hear me, but I truly hope she can. I gripped her hand a little tighter. “Come on Pheeb’s, your going to be fine yeah, your going to wake up soon and we can talk things through, get everything fixed, yeah? Make it all okay again… please” I asked her, I could feel the lump in my throat getting bigger and bigger, but I don’t want to cry. I wont let myself cry. I didn’t say much for a while, just trying to collect myself up again, trying to keep calm. I want to break down so badly, I want to constantly cry. I feel so helpless. I cant save her no matter how much I want to I just cant save her. “oh Phoebe…Why? Please just answer me that, that’s all I want to know, why you did it. It’s not the fact that you did it, it’s the fact that you wont or can’t tell me why, I’m your best friend Pheeb’s, nothing you do or say will ever make me leave you. Please wake up, come on, for yourself, you the guys, for me. I miss you so much.” I paused for a moment thinking whether I should tell her what’s doing on in my head right now, about that I was feeling when I found her. ”You know when I had you in my arms, and you collapsed, My whole world fell apart. Did you know that? That you’re my whole world. Nothing means more to me then you. I’ve known you my whole life and you’re a part of me. You always will be. Please don’t leave me, I don’t think I’d survive. Please, come on, do it for me.” I a few tears fell, and I didn’t bother trying to stop them. I just poured my thoughts out to her and she might not even be able to hear me, I think that’s what hurting so much. A few of my tears fell on her hand and I just wiped them off with my thumb and kissed her hand.
“Come on love, visiting hours are over now, I’m sure she’ll be fine until the next time you can come in, she’s a fighter, if she wanted to go she would have already, you got a strong one there” said the rather tallish nurse, I looked around at her and smiled weakly and nodded. She walked out of the room and shut the door.
I took a deep breath “I love you” I said simply. I kissed her forehead and stood up. More tears fell from my eye’s and again I didn’t stop them. I put her hand back to where it was and pulled the chair back. I stepped away from her and I felt my heart tear even more. She has no idea how much I’d give to just hear her say that she love’s me too. I turned away and left her room. The nurse was waiting outside for me, she hugged me, I cried into her shoulder slightly and she comforted me. “Thanks” I said politely and walked down the stairs and out of the hospital doors. I hope that nurse is right. I hope she is holding on. No I don’t hope. I need her to hold on.
..::Still Frank Iero’s Point Of View::..
I walked to her room. The first time I will have seen her in about 3 hours of the incident and I cant believe how much I’m shaking. I stand staring at the door to her private room. I want to open it and see her, but I’m afraid of what I’ll see. It’s a sort of complex situation you see, I can run away and risk her being awake and think I don’t want to see her, or she might still be in a coma… I guess I’ll never know until I step inside and find out. I took a breath and took hold of the door handle and turned it and stepped in.
There she lay, my best friend. The only person I have ever been able to be myself around. Now she lay there, hooked to so many machines, in a undisturbed slumber. She lay in the middle of the bed, one arm bandaged up and so many wires hooked to her body. I want to just rip them all off and take her home, but I know I’d probably do more damage doing that. I cautiously step towards her with my stomach doing loops, my mouth feeling dry and my hands sweaty. I pull the chair up next to her bed and take hold of her hand, its cold, too cold. I stare at her for a while. Her naturally pale skin looking ever paler now, her pink red lips now a white pink colour, her pink black and white hair now messed about everywhere. Even at a time like this she still manages to look so beautiful. How such a person with such great beauty can say their ugly is a mystery to me.
“Hey Pheeb’s” I said in a whisper “I hope you can hear me, It’s me Frankie. Just come to see you I guess.” I started not really knowing what to say to her, I’m not even sure if she can hear me, but I truly hope she can. I gripped her hand a little tighter. “Come on Pheeb’s, your going to be fine yeah, your going to wake up soon and we can talk things through, get everything fixed, yeah? Make it all okay again… please” I asked her, I could feel the lump in my throat getting bigger and bigger, but I don’t want to cry. I wont let myself cry. I didn’t say much for a while, just trying to collect myself up again, trying to keep calm. I want to break down so badly, I want to constantly cry. I feel so helpless. I cant save her no matter how much I want to I just cant save her. “oh Phoebe…Why? Please just answer me that, that’s all I want to know, why you did it. It’s not the fact that you did it, it’s the fact that you wont or can’t tell me why, I’m your best friend Pheeb’s, nothing you do or say will ever make me leave you. Please wake up, come on, for yourself, you the guys, for me. I miss you so much.” I paused for a moment thinking whether I should tell her what’s doing on in my head right now, about that I was feeling when I found her. ”You know when I had you in my arms, and you collapsed, My whole world fell apart. Did you know that? That you’re my whole world. Nothing means more to me then you. I’ve known you my whole life and you’re a part of me. You always will be. Please don’t leave me, I don’t think I’d survive. Please, come on, do it for me.” I a few tears fell, and I didn’t bother trying to stop them. I just poured my thoughts out to her and she might not even be able to hear me, I think that’s what hurting so much. A few of my tears fell on her hand and I just wiped them off with my thumb and kissed her hand.
“Come on love, visiting hours are over now, I’m sure she’ll be fine until the next time you can come in, she’s a fighter, if she wanted to go she would have already, you got a strong one there” said the rather tallish nurse, I looked around at her and smiled weakly and nodded. She walked out of the room and shut the door.
I took a deep breath “I love you” I said simply. I kissed her forehead and stood up. More tears fell from my eye’s and again I didn’t stop them. I put her hand back to where it was and pulled the chair back. I stepped away from her and I felt my heart tear even more. She has no idea how much I’d give to just hear her say that she love’s me too. I turned away and left her room. The nurse was waiting outside for me, she hugged me, I cried into her shoulder slightly and she comforted me. “Thanks” I said politely and walked down the stairs and out of the hospital doors. I hope that nurse is right. I hope she is holding on. No I don’t hope. I need her to hold on.