Anorex-a-Gogo
Be Invisible
The reason I hated high school was because nobody understood. Everyone complained about too much homework, the teachers they hated or loved, or the various cliques that were more popular than they were. But no one truly understood what it meant to be a teenager and to be completely alone. Nobody cared.
Nobody cared about the boy who had absolutely no friends. They didn't care about his home life, and what went on behind closed doors. They didn't care that he had secrets too, secrets that he couldn't tell anyone in the world.
Nobody cared about me.
When I walked down the halls each day, I played a game. I called it 'Be Invisible.' Real original name, I know. The ideo of the game was to shrink back into the crowd so that nobody saw me, nobody knew me, and most of all, nobody could hurt me, I am a champion on at Being Invisible.
Only problem is, I'm a total fat ass. No on misses out on the kids who aren't thin and pretty. So Rule #1 of Be Invisible is that you can't be a fatty. This is where not eating comes in. I invented a little dance to go along with this rule. It's called the Anorex-a-Gogo, and whenever I feel like eating, I get up and do this little dance. It changes every time, so you can't map out your moves. If I'm in class, of course I can't get up on top of my desk and start dancing. Anyway, I'm 5'4 and 120 pounds, and if someone that fat got up and started dancing on their desk in class, I'd definately notice them. Which is exactly how you lose at Be Invisible. But if I close my eyes when my stomach starts rumbling, and pretend I'm in an empty room, doing the Anorex-a-Gogo, I can put off eating for at least a few more hours.
Rule #2 is that you can't really talk. Talking doesn't help, but always succeeds in getting you in trouble. I've learned that talking has never gotten me anywhere good. I avoid talking when I can.
But maybe the most improtant rule of all is Rule #3: Never ever argue. Don't argue with your parents. Don't argue with the teachers. Don't argue with the kids at school. Don't argue with Owen.
Because arguing just gets you in deeper shit than you were in before.
After lunch, I steal away to the bathroom. My math teacher Mr. Stokes has some weird obsession with me. Says I remind him a lot of himself as a kid my age. I highly doubt that, but I won't tell him so. He's the younges teacher on campus, only 22, the kind that everyone thinks they can relate to. I don't think I can, but that doesn't stop him from talking to me every chance he gets.
Anyway, he found me down at the field where I sit while everyone else eats lunch. He brought two sandwiches, told me he wanted to talk. He used the whole, "It wasn't long ago that I was your age..." line, and eventually got around to saying that he was worried about me. That a kid my age shouldn't be alone all the time, and that I seemed really off-course. I managed to tune him out mostly, replying only when necessary. But he made me eat the fucking sandwich. He told me that he knew how I was feeling, but unless I ate the whole sandwich he was going to personally take me to the Counselor.
I ate the whole thing, because I knew if I had to go to the Counselor, she would tell my Mom, and then Mom would make me see one of her stupid psychiatrist friends, and then I would be missing the whole point of Being Invisible. And that's the worst mistake I could make. So I ate the entire sandwich Stokes gave me, and I said thank you. I think I even managed a smile, but it came out all wrong, and Stokes just sort of frowned before telling me he'd see me later.
So then it was off to the bathroom to do the Anorex-a-Gogo. Luckily the one on the third floor was empty, so I quickly did my lonely dance before letting my mouth and stomach get better aquainted with the toilet. However, as I wiped my mouth with my sleeve, I realized that I was no longer as alone as I thought I was. It was perhaps the one person I most did not want to see, besides for Owen and Mr. Stokes. It was Gerard Way, and he had a tantalizing smirk playing on his lips.
Nobody cared about the boy who had absolutely no friends. They didn't care about his home life, and what went on behind closed doors. They didn't care that he had secrets too, secrets that he couldn't tell anyone in the world.
Nobody cared about me.
When I walked down the halls each day, I played a game. I called it 'Be Invisible.' Real original name, I know. The ideo of the game was to shrink back into the crowd so that nobody saw me, nobody knew me, and most of all, nobody could hurt me, I am a champion on at Being Invisible.
Only problem is, I'm a total fat ass. No on misses out on the kids who aren't thin and pretty. So Rule #1 of Be Invisible is that you can't be a fatty. This is where not eating comes in. I invented a little dance to go along with this rule. It's called the Anorex-a-Gogo, and whenever I feel like eating, I get up and do this little dance. It changes every time, so you can't map out your moves. If I'm in class, of course I can't get up on top of my desk and start dancing. Anyway, I'm 5'4 and 120 pounds, and if someone that fat got up and started dancing on their desk in class, I'd definately notice them. Which is exactly how you lose at Be Invisible. But if I close my eyes when my stomach starts rumbling, and pretend I'm in an empty room, doing the Anorex-a-Gogo, I can put off eating for at least a few more hours.
Rule #2 is that you can't really talk. Talking doesn't help, but always succeeds in getting you in trouble. I've learned that talking has never gotten me anywhere good. I avoid talking when I can.
But maybe the most improtant rule of all is Rule #3: Never ever argue. Don't argue with your parents. Don't argue with the teachers. Don't argue with the kids at school. Don't argue with Owen.
Because arguing just gets you in deeper shit than you were in before.
After lunch, I steal away to the bathroom. My math teacher Mr. Stokes has some weird obsession with me. Says I remind him a lot of himself as a kid my age. I highly doubt that, but I won't tell him so. He's the younges teacher on campus, only 22, the kind that everyone thinks they can relate to. I don't think I can, but that doesn't stop him from talking to me every chance he gets.
Anyway, he found me down at the field where I sit while everyone else eats lunch. He brought two sandwiches, told me he wanted to talk. He used the whole, "It wasn't long ago that I was your age..." line, and eventually got around to saying that he was worried about me. That a kid my age shouldn't be alone all the time, and that I seemed really off-course. I managed to tune him out mostly, replying only when necessary. But he made me eat the fucking sandwich. He told me that he knew how I was feeling, but unless I ate the whole sandwich he was going to personally take me to the Counselor.
I ate the whole thing, because I knew if I had to go to the Counselor, she would tell my Mom, and then Mom would make me see one of her stupid psychiatrist friends, and then I would be missing the whole point of Being Invisible. And that's the worst mistake I could make. So I ate the entire sandwich Stokes gave me, and I said thank you. I think I even managed a smile, but it came out all wrong, and Stokes just sort of frowned before telling me he'd see me later.
So then it was off to the bathroom to do the Anorex-a-Gogo. Luckily the one on the third floor was empty, so I quickly did my lonely dance before letting my mouth and stomach get better aquainted with the toilet. However, as I wiped my mouth with my sleeve, I realized that I was no longer as alone as I thought I was. It was perhaps the one person I most did not want to see, besides for Owen and Mr. Stokes. It was Gerard Way, and he had a tantalizing smirk playing on his lips.