Anorex-a-Gogo
Breathe
I woke up with a start, my heart racing and jumping around erratically in my ribcage. Across the room, my locked doorknob is rattling ominously. I know exactly what that means.
Mom doesn't like me locking my door, wondering what I have to hide from her. What she didn't know was that I wasn't locking things in, I was locking someone out. Not that I thought that the weak lock would stop Owen from coming in. But it was my last shot at begging him to stop.
Sure enough, the lock pops, and the door slides open. I close my eyes and turn away from him, praying that he'll think I'm asleep and leave me alone. He doesn't do either, and the bed sinks beneath him.
"Shhh, Frankie. It's just me," Owen murmurs, pushing away my shirt.
I try to think of something happy, like books. I like to read. And thinking about books makes me think about Mikey, because he likes to read too.
Owen's reaching in my pants now. He's already hard against my stomach...
And thinking about Mikey brings me to thinking about Gerard. Gerard in the bathroom today, looking at me all worried. Like maybe he cared.
He's groaning, breathing hard. I don't feel his teeth pinching my skin. I don't feel his release. By now I've become numb in all the places I used to feel...
Gerard cared about me a little. And he knew one of my secrets. Could I trust Gerard? You really shouldn't let people in on your secrets, especially when you're supposed to Be Invisible.
All the feeling has left my body. I'm far away now, far away from them all. But somehow, somehow I've managed to remember to breathe...
* * *
Mom doesn't like me locking my door, wondering what I have to hide from her. What she didn't know was that I wasn't locking things in, I was locking someone out. Not that I thought that the weak lock would stop Owen from coming in. But it was my last shot at begging him to stop.
Sure enough, the lock pops, and the door slides open. I close my eyes and turn away from him, praying that he'll think I'm asleep and leave me alone. He doesn't do either, and the bed sinks beneath him.
"Shhh, Frankie. It's just me," Owen murmurs, pushing away my shirt.
I try to think of something happy, like books. I like to read. And thinking about books makes me think about Mikey, because he likes to read too.
Owen's reaching in my pants now. He's already hard against my stomach...
And thinking about Mikey brings me to thinking about Gerard. Gerard in the bathroom today, looking at me all worried. Like maybe he cared.
He's groaning, breathing hard. I don't feel his teeth pinching my skin. I don't feel his release. By now I've become numb in all the places I used to feel...
Gerard cared about me a little. And he knew one of my secrets. Could I trust Gerard? You really shouldn't let people in on your secrets, especially when you're supposed to Be Invisible.
All the feeling has left my body. I'm far away now, far away from them all. But somehow, somehow I've managed to remember to breathe...
* * *