No Control

When Faris wakes up as a girl, he takes a moment to get his breathing in check, and then fucking curses whoever did it, because he’s still really fucking tall.

When Josh wakes up with tits, he screams, like a girl (also, like normal), falls out of his bunk, and mourns his ‘perfect length hair’ which has been replaced by something much longer.

When Tom wakes up as a chick, he calmly makes sure that he’s shaved where girls are supposed to be, because there’s nothing grosser than a hairy woman.

When Rhys wakes up and he’s a girl, he carefully pulls his shirt off and pokes and prods analytically, because hmm, this is odd.

And when Joe wakes up as a girl, he tries not to cry, and then tentatively calls out, “Am I the only one who woke up with a vagina?” He pokes his head out of his bunk, and looks at Josh on the floor, with actual tears running down his face, and Joe would laugh, so very hard, if he weren’t in the same boat.

Like a cartoon (a really fucked up cartoon), the heads of the three others poke out through their curtains, and Joe looks up at them. They’re all looking more like girls, than feminine males. Rhys’ cheekbones are less defined, Faris’ nose is smaller, and Tom’s lips pout a bit more. Joe takes a moment to look himself over - at least he didn’t get small breasts.

He finally shuffles out of his bunk, stands up awkwardly on legs he’s not used to, and feels glad he didn’t wear a white t-shirt to bed. He’s tempted to go to the bathroom to relieve himself, but it’d be weird, so he just goes to the ‘lounge’ and perches on the edge of the seat, all dainty like, and waits for the others.

They emerge, one by one, all looking awkward and frightened. They all keep silent and just watch each other closely, before Tom clears his (her?) throat and speaks up. “So,” he makes a squeaking sound in the back of his throat when his voice comes out several octaves higher than normal. “So.”

Joe figures that’s all he’s got to say, and looks at the others expectantly. Josh is a no-go, because he’s still mourning his hair, Faris is looking about 40% more homicidal than normal, and Rhys looks surprisingly okay about the whole thing.

Then, he pipes up. “I think we all make lovely women.”

And Faris groans, Tom rolls his eyes, and Joshua starts crying again.

* * *

Two days pass and they still haven’t changed back. Rhys spoke to their tour manager and said they all had a rather nasty case of bronchitis, and they all need lots of bed rest. Cancelling shows was never fun for a band to do, but they barely had any choice. They all stayed in their connected hotel rooms, only speaking to each other, and that was usually about how the fuck they’re going to change back.

Josh suggests they track down whoever has their bodies, but that could take years.

“Here, look,” Joe turns his laptop to show Faris, because he’d Googled ‘spontaneous sex change’. Faris frowns, because it only came up with something to do with animals, and then stupid people asking if it can happen naturally.

“There’s nothing,” Faris finally says, standing up. He rolls his eyes at Joe, because Joe seems so satisfied with that. “I’m going to bed.” He turns and leaves, slamming the door that joins his, Tom’s and Josh’s room to Rhys and Joe’s.

“Well, I thought it was interesting,” Joe mutters. Rhys laughs, his laugh coming out more like, well, his sisters. He gets up to change and remembers things are different now, and goes into the bathroom to, instead. He would have, usually, had no problem at all with stripping down to his boxers in front of Rhys, or any of the band, but now he has tits and a cunt and long hair, and he supposes if things stay the way they are, he can always call himself ‘Josephine’, Jo for short. “Hey Rhys?” Joe calls out, after a moment; his new, feminine voice, is still so very foreign to him. He pulls a black t-shirt over his head and opens the door. “What’ll you call yourself if we stay this way? I mean, I’d be Josephine…”

Rhys laughs. He really laughs, throwing his head back against the pillows, and Joe looks at his neck, all long and stretched out and without an Adam’s Apple like usual. And then when he’s done, he pretends to wipe away a tear, then says, “I’m not really sure; Rhysleen?”

Joe sinks down onto his own twin bed next to Rhys’ and sighs. “I don’t want to stay like this; I liked my dick.” Rhys makes a sound in his throat, which Joe takes for agreement. They sit in silence for a few minutes. Joe is thinking about… “What do you think it feels like?”

He looks up and wide eyes greet him, because Rhys obviously knows what he means. Kind of. “You mean just getting off, or sex?”

And Joe shrugs, because he just meant it generally. The female orgasm.

They both sit there for a little while longer, before simultaneously agreeing that it was time to sleep. Joe is almost asleep when he feels Rhys shake his shoulder. He rolls over, and reaches up to turn the little light above his head on. “Whaaat?”

“…I can’t get it,” Rhys mutters after a moment. Joe isn’t really sure what he means for a moment, then thinks back to their last conversation. And he laughs. “Don’t you fucking laugh at me,” Rhys hisses, hitting Joe’s shoulder. “I’m a fag, I don’t understand the female anatomy!”

Joe keeps laughing, until he can’t breathe, and Rhys keeps hitting him, over and over and over. “Okay, come here,” Joe gasps, still laughing slightly.

“No!” Rhys shrieks, pushing himself away slightly. “I just want you to tell me how!”

Joe rolls his eyes and pushes his covers off himself. “I can’t just explain it. Just, c’mon, don’t worry, we’re both girls, so it’s not at all heterosexual, if you’re worried.” He laughs at himself again, and grabs Rhys’ arm. “Don’t be a fucking…Just, come here.” He pulls Rhys closer and pushes him down onto the bed. “We’re never going to speak of this, yeah? Good.” he breathes out heavily, then leans down and kisses his best friend, who also turned into a girl a few days ago, and tries to pretend the situation they’re in is half normal.

* * *

They wake up in the morning, naked and tangled together and slightly more male than they had been the last few days. Rhys doesn’t seem too bothered waking up tangled with another man, but Joe’s straight, so he’s slightly perturbed by the whole thing. He slides out of bed and attempts to cover up with one of the hotels pillows, shuffling awkwardly into the bathroom. Rhys laughs at his back, the whole way.

Faris comes barging in twenty minutes later, and thankfully, Rhys and Joe are dressed already, and a little bit past the whole ‘I shagged my best friend’ stage full of shock and embarrassment; they’re sitting there talking about how they’re going to miss that feeling from the night before next time they’re intimate with someone - getting off as a guy sure was easier, but being a girl, it just felt better. Faris, though, is still female, and looks even angrier when he sees that Joe and Rhys, in fact, are not.

He starts screaming again, Tomasina (Tom had insisted it really was a girls name - after laughing at him a lot, then deciding to actually Google it, Joe discovered he was right (funnily enough, it also means ‘twin‘)), who followed Faris in, rolls his eyes, still as giant and brilliant as ever. And then Josh, who, like Faris, refuses to call himself by a girl name, wanders in, as well.

He starts crying…again.