The Happiness I'm Fakin'

I opened my droopy eyes to see the back of Bam's head. I tried to get up but realized that...I couldn't. Gah! My head hurts so fucking bad! I love drinking as much as I hate hangovers. After a few minuets of thinking about how much my head hurts and how I dumb I was to let Bam get his way again, I pulled my phone out of my back pocket to check the time. I opened it and the light shined in my eyes startling me a bit as I then moved too quick for my head to catch up.

"Owww-" I moaned.

I must've woken up Bam because he kicked my leg making me frown as I finally got a glimpse of the time...2:34 p.m.

I sighed as I looked at my surroundings. We were in my room...Why? I wondered. On the other hand there was nothing to worry about because we were both still in the clothes we were in when we went to Duffers.
Suddenly Bam's phone went off causing the both of us to jump.

"Shit!" Bam yelled as he clutched his head and threw his phone at the wall letting it shatter to the ground which didn't help my headache.

I gulped before I closed my eyes again and tried to fall back asleep but I didn't succeed with that because the doorbell rang.

"EHHHHHH!!!" Bam yelled frustrated.

He's always cranky when he has a major hangover. Can't say I blame him. Suddenly he turns over to me but I quickly close my eyes and pretend I haven't heard a thing. If only that would've worked. Bam slapped me hard on the butt and yelled in my ear to go get the door because he and I both knew that Novak was gonna get it.

"Fuck you!" I yelled back in his ear. "YOUR house, YOUR door, YOU get it."
He groaned."I don't wanna." He whined.
"Me neither. "

The door rang again just as I closed me eyes for the final time as I fell asleep some how but not for long because I realized that some opened the door.

"Awww Phil! Look at them, it's just like when they were little!Except now they're older and drunk..." I heard Ape say.
"Ape. Shut. Up.." Bam mumbled starting to doze off as well.
"Is that any way to talk to your mother!?" Ape asked.
Bam laughed a little before he was knocked out.

I couldn't take it anymore. I sighed as I raised myself up off the bed and turned around to see Ape and Phil smiling at us for their own reasons.

"Hi Ape. Hey Phil." I greeted them as I stumbled over to Ape to give her a hug and Phil a little pat on the tummy.

After I changed into some comfy jammys, I walked with Ape to the kitchen. Just as she began to make her famous pancakes as she promised. I took a seat at the table trying to get everything back in focus.

"I wish you guys wouldn't go out an drink so much." Ape said as she took a little break from her cooking and set two tylenols down on the table for me with a bottle of water.I raised my head up and gave her a small smile before I stared at the little white pills.

"Now I know you don't like taking pills honey, but you look like you may need them and they're not gonna kill you." She said the last part with a chuckle.

I giggled as I placed one pill on my tongue and successfully chugged it down with some water.

"I'll save the other one for Bam." I told her as she began to mix the batter in front of me.

She sighed. "You know you've always been against pills, even as a kid you were afraid to swallow them."
"Haha, I was afraid I'd choke on one!" I said with a tiny frown.

Suddenly the memories of when Ape used to babysit me, Bam, and Jess came into my thoughts. It was so much fun growing up with them. They're like the brothers I never had. I especially appreciate Ape and Phil. They're the coolest parents! I was never really had a mother figure in my life, but Ape was all I needed and so much more. Phil is awesome and so sweet, I remember how he would lift us up in the air and we'd pretend to be airplanes. Ah...memories.

"Remember that clown Jess got Bam for when he was in the hospital after that gnarly crash on his skateboard. I was like six and Bam was like 7 and Jess was eight."
"Fuck yeah! That little shit was scary looking! He got me that on purpose to scare me." Bam said walking towards me.

I laughed as I sooted up in the chair as he sat on the little space I left available for him to sit down. I rested my head on his back in front of me as I closed my eyes.

"I used to love scaring you with that." I said as I opened my eyes and let my legs hang from his sides.
"Psh! Yeah" He said eyeing up my legs.
I gave him a weird look as I yelled at him "What'r you looking at!?"
"What! ...There's..something on the floor." He said.
"Ew! Is it a bug?!" I yelped.
"Haha! Nah, it's a fuzzy."
"Ohhh where?!" I screeched as I set my coffee cup down on the table before I tried to look below us to catch this fuzzy in action.

Ape snickered at our childish behavior.

"Ah! Look! You made it fly away!" Bam said as he stole up my coffee from the table and gulped it.
I quickly looked up at him as my mouth fell open in shock. "Hey! APE! Bam stole my coffee!"
"Oh hush you two!" She scolded us.

I curled lip and Bam pretended to frown.

"Don't look at me like that." She said to us.

We both snickered as Ape finished making her delicious pancakes. It wasn't too long before Novak woke up and joined us and it wasn't too long before Bam did something totally uncalled for to ruin Novak's meal.

"Watch this." Bam whispered over to me.

He grabbed one the half empty syrup dispenser and brought it to him as Ape was talking to Novak. He brought it under the table.

"What'r you doin?" I asked him.
"Look under the table." He laughed in a hushed tone so no one would hear him.
"What?" I said as I peaked under the table.

I shouldn't have...I REALLY shouldn't have. I looked under the table to see Bam stuff the syrup dispenser in his pants. I made an 'O' shape with my mouth as I accidently saw a tiny bit on Bam's umm...you know... -cough-. I quickly looked back up as I suddenly lost my appetite at the thought of some one eating pancakes with piss on it.

"Ha ha!" He laughed to himself as he placed the dispenser back on the table where it had been before he urinated in it.

He looked at me as Novak grabbed some more pancakes.

"Your so gross!" I whispered to him.

He gave a devilish smile as he picked up the dispenser more obviously now. He looked over at Novak as he placed another pile of Ape's fantabulous pancakes on his plate.

Bam pretended to put syrup on his pancakes as he held it up. "Aye Novak."
"Yo?"
"You want some more syrup?"
"Yeah pass that."

And just as Novak requested, Bam passed the syrup.

As Novak was pouring Bam's urine all over his pancakes and as I was cringing Ape said "What's that God awful smell?"

Bam nearly choked on his food a bit as he laughed. I couldn't help but to laugh to. Novak just stiffened up his nose in disgust and said "I don't know."

"Bam! " Ape accused her son.
"What!" He said as he laughed harder as Novak cut into his pancakes with his fork.

I grabbed onto Bam's arm in astonishment as Novak picked up a piece and had it heading towards his mouth.
Bam noticed his mom was still watching him so he made up a quick lie." Okay I farted!"
"No..no thats not it." She told him.

This only made us laugh harder.
We watched as Novak put the pancake in his mouth and began to chew.

"Uhhhh!" I yelped in disgust.
"Amber what's wrong?" Bam asked knowingly as he was laughing his ass off.

Just then Novak spit his food out. "Ew! What the fuck happened to the syrup! Ape!" He squealed.

"What are you talking about!? that's perfectly good syrup-" Ape yelled back.

"Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!" Bam and I busted out laughing as Novak was scraping his tongue rid of that, what I would imagine, horrid taste.

"What the hell did you do?!" Novak yelled at Bam.
Bam tried to ease up on his laughing. "Well..lets just say, I don't need tah use the bathroom anymore. Ha! Ha!"
"Uhhhh! Bam! You Ass!" Novak yelled at Bam as he stormed out of the room.

Ape looked at Bam with mean eyes.

"Bam! Why'd you always gotta do that?" She asked him seriously.
"What!?" He asked as if he had done nothing wrong.

I sat there and shock my head at him, laughing.

"And Amber!" Ape called me out.
"Wha!?" I asked innocently.
"You didn't even stop him!"
"But Ape!" I cried.
"You two are unbelievable." She shuck her head at us.
"Jeez I'm sorry! Don't bring Amber into this." Bam told his mom still giggling.
I gave him a little punch in the arm. He didn't bother to feel the pain because he couldn't stop laughing.

As I was helping April clean up the kitchen Bam came up behind me and tickled me at my sides. I hated when he did that, I'm so ticklish I laugh like mad woman!

"Hee! Hee! Bam!" I shoved him away. "Stop!"
"Heh! Hurry up and get ready! We're gonna leave in an hour."
"An hour? Are you even ready?"
"Yeah I just showered."
"Don't you have a hangover?" I asked him.
"Nahh. The tylenol worked! Or do you not wanna go anymore?"
"Nuh uhh! I still wanna!" I yelped.
"Where are you two goin?" Ape asked us as she finished washing some dishes.
"New York!" I yelled in excitement.
"Yeah! Now get ready!" Bam yelled in my ear as he lift me up off the floor and carried me up stairs.
"Bam! If you drop me!" I yelled at him.

A few minuets later Ape and Phil had already left and everyone else was ready to go! We were all headed towards the door when the door bell rang.
I opened it to see...Jessica?

"What are YOU doing here?" I asked her.
"I'm going to New York with Bam! Where are YOU going?"
"YOUR WHAT!?" Novak yelled from behind me.

...Oh Jeez...