Hidden Within

The bus begins to roll forward and I pretend to listen to Sandi as she rambles on about cheer some more. It’s only the first day of school and I want her to shut her gob about stupid cheerleading. I can only imagine how I’m going to feel as the year progresses. I’m probably going to wanna shove a pencil into my temple by the time the middle of the semester rolls around…

“Hey, Alana!” a familiar voice exclaims and I blink a couple times, pulling myself out of my daze. I look up and see Jimmy and Matt have relocated themselves to the seat in front of me and Sandi.

“Hey, guys,” I smile at them.

“So, did Lynn tell you about the park?” Matt asks me with a warm, dimpled smile on his face.

“Yeah, she did.”

“You coming then?” Jimmy asks excitedly.

“I’m going to try. I’m not sure if my parents will be cool with it or not.”

“Of course they will be, Lana,” Sandi interjects.

Jimmy and Matt both turn their eyes from me to my sister, reminding me that I never introduced them to each other. You would think after going to the same schools for so long we would have already known each other by now. But then again, Huntington’s big enough that I’ll probably never know all of the kids in my class by name.

“Oh, this is my sister, Sandi,” I say, introducing the boys to her. “Sands, this is Jimmy and Matt. They’re friends of Lynn’s boyfriend.”

“Nice to meet you guys,” she says with a large smile…Especially at Matt. I thought I told her already that Matt’s taken? Goodness!

“Nice to meet you, too,” they reply together.

“Do you wanna join us?” Jimmy asks her.

“Uh, it depends on what you guys are doing. Lana was a little fuzzy on the details.”

That’s probably because I don’t even know all the details myself. All I know is that it’s the park. Matt, Laney, Lynn, Zacky, and Jimmy are going to be there. Maybe that short kid…Johnny, that’s his name, and his girlfriend Danni will be there, too. I don’t really know.

“We’re just gonna be hanging out at the park with a few of our friends,” Matt tells her. “Nothing huge or anything like that; we just wanna get out of the house for a while and hang out.”

“Well, I might come join then.”

“Cool,” Jimmy smiles.

A somewhat awkward silence falls over us, none of us knowing what to say. Which is surprising to see for Sandi; normally I have the hardest time getting her to stop talking. But she’s too busy batting her eyes and smiling at Matt. Apparently the fact that he has a girlfriend has not deterred her one bit. That’s my sister for ya.

“So, Lana, how are you feeling?” Jimmy queries, breaking the semi-awkward silence.

“I’m alright…” I reply, unsure as to why he’s even asking me.

“You sure? Because Brian said that you took a pretty nasty fall last hour,” he replies, looking at me worriedly.

“You what!?” Sandi exclaims, tearing her eyes away from Matt long enough to look at me with a ‘Why-didn’t-you-tell-me?’ expression.

“I’m alright,” I assure everyone.

“But what happened?” she asks, looking more concerned with each passing second.

“We were running laps and I just pushed myself too hard, that’s all. I wasn’t used to running like that and so I fell. I’m alright. I went to the nurse and she said I’m okay. There’s no need to worry, Sands.”

“Alright… But I wish you had told me, Lana.”

“I didn’t want you to worry,” I tell her softly, giving her a tiny smile. “Now, what in the world was Brian doing talking about that?” I ask, turning my attention back to Jimmy.

“Uh… Well, he…”

“He was just saying that you may not feel like going to the park because of that. He said that maybe you wouldn’t be feeling well enough and would want your rest,” Matt quickly cuts in with a fairly nervous looking smile; why he looks so nervous, I’m not sure.

“Oh… Okay…”

“Who’s Brian?” Sandi pipes up.

“He’s one of our friends,” Matt replies. “He and Jimmy have been best friends for years now.”

“Oh, that’s cool. I might know him; what’s his last name?”

“Haner.”

“Brian Haner… Why does that name sound so familiar?”

I don’t bother to answer her question.

Instead I start to sling my backpack over my shoulder and start to stand up as the bus rolls to a stop at the corner of our street.

“This is our stop,” I tell the guys with a small smile, ushering Sandi to get her shit together so I can get out of the seat. “I’ll try to make it to the park though, promise.”

“Alright, see ya later, Alana!” they reply, giving me small waves goodbye as Sandi and I make our way down the narrow aisle to the front of the bus.

We wait for the driver to open up the door and I follow Sandi out onto the sidewalk. She leads the way to our house, which is only about two houses away. I notice my mom’s car in the driveway and bite my lip. I was kinda hoping that I could have just done the whole leave a note on the kitchen table saying I went someplace with Lynn thing. I wasn’t anticipating actually having to ask one of my parents if I could go to the park.

“What’s wrong?” Sandi asks, taking note of my trepidation to continue on the way to our house.

“Mom’s home,” I mumble as I kick a rock out onto the street.

“So?”

“So, I’ll have to ask to go now. What if she says no?”

“She won’t. Just tell her that you’re going to hang out with Lynn at the park. She knows Lynn. She loves Lynn. You’ll be allowed to go. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Alright?”

“Alright…” I sigh, trudging after her as she starts her way to the house.

“So, I was wondering something.”

“What were you wondering?”

“Why does the name Brian Haner sound so familiar? I swear I’ve heard that name before, I just can’t remember where.”

“You’re kidding me, right?” I ask, raising an eyebrow as I look at her incredulously.

“No, I’m not. I really think the name’s familiar.”

“I wasn’t talking about that. I was meaning you really don’t remember?”

“I don’t. Why is that so hard to believe?”

“Because Brian Haner is the name of the boy who has made my life a living Hell since I was in elementary school; that’s why,” I tell her as we reach the end of our driveway.

She bites her lip, her expression falling. “Oh... I guess I forgot about that.”

“I guess I shouldn’t have expected you to remember. I mean, we weren’t sisters all of elementary school anyway. It’s just hard for me to forget the boy who pulled on my pigtails every day for years on end, the boy that would push me at recess, the same boy that would chase me around the playground whenever he found some weird bug that would freak me out.”

“He really did all that?”

“Yes, he really did all of that. He just didn’t know when to stop. Even when we got sent to the principal’s office, it wasn’t enough to make him stop.”

“Wow,” she chuckles.

I narrow my eyes at her. Why is she chuckling? Out of all the things she could be doing right now, she’s actually laughing at my childhood torment. What kind of a sister is that?

“What’s so funny?”

“Nothing, really,” she answers; a light chortle in her voice. “It’s just that the boy did all of those things to you, for years on end, without stopping. If I didn’t know any better I would say that it sounds like he had a crush on you.”

“What did you just say?” I ask, my voice raising an octave.

“I said, that it sounds like he had a crush on you,” she repeats with a teasing smile on her face.

“Did you not hear any of the things I just said? He pulled my hair, he pushed me around, he-”

“Was being a boy and picking on the girl he liked,” she cuts me off with that smile still playing on her lips. “Didn’t you pay attention to anything when you were growing up? Ninety-nine percent of the time little boys pick on little girls because they like them, not because they hate them. It looks like this Brian boy had himself a crush on you, Lana.”

“You clearly don’t know what you’re talking about, Sands,” I retort, marching up to the front door and wishing nothing more than for this conversation to be over with. Of all the things in the world I do not feel like talking about Brian Haner.

“I know exactly what I’m talking about, sis. You just don’t wanna admit that I know what I’m talking about because then it’d be admitting that this guy liked you.”

“Look, Sandi, I know you’re just trying to be a helpful sister or whatever, but I actually know this guy. Believe me; if he liked me then I would be able to tell. And he doesn’t, so end of story. Alright?”

“Fine,” she sighs. “But it seems a little weird that someone who doesn’t like you would be talking to his friends about you.”

“He was talking about me falling in Gym. That doesn’t mean anything.”

“If you say so…” she trails off as we reach the front door.

I roll my eyes at her, shaking my head as I twist the doorknob and open the door. “Mom, Sandi and I are home!” I call out as we walk into the house, dropping off my schoolbag by the door. I’ll pick it up when I go upstairs in a bit.

“I’m in the kitchen!” she shouts out to us.

“Alright, well, I’ll be up in my room!” I tell her, picking up my bag off of the floor and starting to make a dash for the stairs.

“Okay!”

“What do you think you’re doing?” Sandi asks me as she grabs a hold of my shoulder and pulls me back.

“I’m going up to my room,” I reply matter-of-factly.

“Uh, what about talking to Mom about hanging out with the super cute boys after school?”

“Yeah, about that, I think I’m going to pass on it. I have, like, a whole bunch of Geometry homework to do.”

“Lana, it’s the first day of school. No one has time to assign anything after they go over their stupid little syllabus. Now what’s wrong? I thought you wanted to have fun and be with your friends.”

“I do…”

“Then what’s holding you back? Are you really that scared to ask Mom something as simple as if you can go hang out with your friends?”

“It’s just… I don’t wanna lie to her…” I mumble.

“Lie to her? How would you be lying? You’re just going to ask her if you can hang out with Lynn after school.”

“Exactly, I’m going to be leading her to believe that it’s just Lynn. She won’t know about Jimmy, Matt, Laney, Zacky, and quite possibly Johnny, and Danni. All of whom she doesn’t even know.”

“That’s what you’re worried about? Lana, Mom isn’t going to care that she doesn’t know these other people. Hell, she doesn’t even have to know that there is going to be anyone else there. And even if you tell her about them I doubt she’s going to object to this.”

“Sands, of course she will object. If she doesn’t know who they are then she’s not--”

“Lana, Mom’s been wanting you to make new friends for years now; and you know it. She has been worried that you don’t have a whole bunch of friends and that all you really have is Lynn. Just give it a shot. You know you’ll be kicking yourself later if you don’t go.”

I let out a heavy sigh and nod my head. “Alright…”

I take a deep breath, drop my backpack back onto the floor, and slowly make my way to the kitchen to see my mom standing in front of the sink, probably already starting up dinner. I bite my lip for a moment and take another breath.

“Mom?”

She turns her head and smiles at me. “Hey, sweetie. Come here,” she says, waving me over after she’s dried off her hand. I walk over to her and she wraps her arm around me, enveloping me in a warm hug. “How was your first day?”

“It was pretty good.”

“That’s great. Did you make any new friends?”

That’s it; this is my opening to ask.

“Actually, I did.”

“Really? That’s wonderful, sweetheart!” she replies with the biggest grin I’ve seen on her face in a long time.

“Yeah, it really is. They even invited me to go hang out with them at the park in a little bit. Lynn’s gonna be there, too. Would it be alright if I go?” I ask her, nervously biting down on my bottom lip as I try to read the expression on her face.

“Of course you can go! Just make sure you’re home by seven for dinner, alright?”

“I will. Thanks, Mom!” I beam, wrapping my arms around her and hugging her tightly. “I’m gonna call Lynn and let her know I can come!” I grin, starting my way back to the living room to use the phone.

“Okay. And you have a good time, sweetie!” she calls out after me.

“I will!”

I practically run into the living room, diving onto the couch that Sandi’s sitting on. She lets out a loud laugh as I land next to her, leaning over her as I reach for the phone sitting on the charger on the small end table.

“I take it someone gets to go hang out with her new friends,” she chuckles as I lean back against the couch and start dialing Lynn’s number.

“Yep, she’s cool with it,” I smile. “You comin’ with me?”

She shrugs her shoulders. “I dunno. I might stop by with Whitney and Gaby to see what you guys are up to. But I doubt I’ll actually go with you. Sorry, but this is your thing.”

I stop dialing the phone and press my lips together into a thin line. That wasn’t the answer I was expecting. I had even kinda hoped that she would say that she was going to tag along, even if it would be because she wanted to stare at Matt the whole time.

“It’s alright. Doubt you’d have any fun anyway. As far as I know all the guys are taken, except for Jimmy. You would have had no one to flirt with.”

“I don’t flirt,” she protests, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Oh, really?” I query, raising an eyebrow at her with an amused smirk on my face. “Then what would you call you on the bus batting your eyelashes at Matt?”

“That wasn’t flirting,” she defends. “That was being nice to your new friend.”

“Well, why weren’t you showing the same courtesy to Jimmy? He’s one of my new friends and you were hardly even looking in his direction.”

“That’s because he was a little more focused on you.”

I close my eyes and shake my head at her. When will the girl stop? First she comes up with some crazy theory that Brian liked me when we were little and that is why he picked on me. And now she’s saying that Jimmy’s got a thing for me. Can’t she just see things for what they really are? Why can’t she see that Brian hates my guts and that Jimmy is just trying to be nice to me because I’m new to their group? I thought it was quite easy to see that. I mean, if Brian picked on me when we were little because he liked me then why in the world is he still being an ass to me? He should know by now that boys are nice to the girls that they like. And then as far as Jimmy goes; well, it should be clear that when a new person is added to your little circle of friends you try to be nice to them.

At least that’s what I’m telling myself. I don’t want to think of the other reason why he’s been nice to me…

“Sandi,” I say with an exhaustive breath. “That may be the case when it comes to someone like you. But with me, it’s not.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that I’m not pretty and popular like you. Guys don’t notice me. And when guys are nice to me it’s because they feel obligated to do so, not because they think I’m cute or anything like that. I know it must be hard for someone as pretty as you to understand, but that’s how things go for girls like me. If they are nice, it is because they feel sorry for me or have an obligation.”

She doesn’t say anything. She just stares at me with her mouth slightly open, gaping at me as if she didn’t understand a word that came out of my mouth. Figures that she would be like that. Like I had said, it’d be hard for a gorgeous girl like her to comprehend the fact. I don’t think she’s ever had a guy be nice to her simply because she’s friends with one of his friends. I highly doubt that she’s ever had a guy be nice to her because he didn’t want to date her. That’s just the way things go for my sister; that’s all she knows.

She blinks her eyes a couple of times and shakes her head. “Is that really what you think?” she whispers.

I don’t know what to say to that. I mean, those words did come out of my mouth, did they not? Isn’t it kinda clear that is what I really think?

“Lana, do you really think that low of yourself?”

Again, I don’t really know what to say in response to that.

“You do… Do you not realize how pretty you are? Do you not see what an amazing person you are? Lana, there are times where I would kill to be you. I mean, look at you! You’re thin, you have beautiful facial structure, and you’ve got an awesome personality to go along with it. Guys notice you; you just don’t realize that they notice you. You’re like blind when it comes to guys; you don’t pick up on the little things that they’ll do when they like you.”

I let her words sink in and bite my bottom lip.

She’s right; I don’t pay attention to things like that. I am blind. And maybe if I wasn’t so blind then I would have been able to notice everything this summer.

But then again, I did have a weird feeling. My gut was telling me that there was something off, something amiss. And I should have paid more attention to that feeling. I shouldn’t have brushed it off the way that I did.

But I was stupid. I was naïve. I thought I was safe because he was family. I had lulled myself into a false sense of security, and it was the biggest mistake of my life. And I do not want to make that mistake again.

“I guess you’re right, Sands,” I tell her with a small smile, getting up to my feet. “I’m gonna go call Lynn now. Maybe I’ll see ya later at the park.”

“Okay.”

I give a small nod of my head and turn to walk away, holding onto the phone tightly as I head towards the stairs. I find my backpack on the floor and crouch down to get it off of the floor. I sling the bag onto my shoulder and trudge up the stairs to my room. I walk into my room and close the door behind me, letting my bag slip off of my shoulder and landing with a thud on the floor. I immediately scrunch up my face, remembering that I had stuck my flute case in my backpack. That fall couldn’t have been good for that… Oh well…

I cross the room to my bed and fall back onto the mattress. I glance over at the phone in my hand and chew on my lip. Maybe I should just say I can’t go. But then if Sandi stops by to see how things are going she’ll know I bailed. There’s no backing out of it now.

An audible sigh escapes my lips and I look at the phone in my hand again. My thumb goes to the first digit of her number and I slowly start to dial the phone. I bring the phone to my ear and wait for someone to answer as it rings. Maybe I’ll luck out and no one’s home to answ--

“Hello?” Lynn’s mother answers.

“Hey, Mrs. S, it’s Lana. Is Lynn home yet?”

“Hi, Lana!” she says and I can hear the smile in her voice. She always has liked me. “Yeah, she is; she just walked in. Just a second.”

“Thanks.”

I listen as she calls for Lynn and the soft shuffle of the phone passing from one person to the other.

“Hey! So, what’d your parents say? Can you come?” Lynn asks excitedly, causing me to bite the inside of my lip for a moment.

“Yeah, I can come. Just gotta be home in time for dinner and all that.”

“Awesome! Me and Zacky will be by your place in like twenty minutes, alright? You’re going to have a blasty today!”

“Great! I can’t wait!” I reply, forcing the smile on my face so that I can sound even remotely convincing.

“I’ll see you in a little bit! Bye!”

“Bye.”

I let out a heavy sigh as I hang up the phone and let it fall onto the bed as I stare up at the ceiling. Let’s hope that this goes well…

~

I run my fingers through my hair and glance at the clock. Lynn and Zacky should be here any second now. I lean back, resting against the couch, as I keep an eye on the window, waiting for the appearance of their figures as they walk up to my door. I can hear my mom walking around in the kitchen, water running every now and then as she gets everything ready to start dinner. Sometimes I wonder if my mom ever takes a break. She always seems to be doing something; going to work, cooking meals, taking us places, fixing up tears in Kris’ clothes. She’s like Superwoman or something; she can do anything.

There’s a knock on the door and I hop up off of the couch, walking to the door and peeking out the window to see people standing in front of the door, I can only assume Lynn and Zacky. I open the door and smile at the people on the other side of the door.

“Hey, ready to go?” Lynn asks with a huge grin.

“Yeah, just let me tell my mom. I’ll be out in a bit.”

“Alright,” they chime, smiles plastered on their faces. Is it mean-spirited to think that they’re too happy right now?

I stroll out of the living room and on into the kitchen, walking up behind my mother.

“Mom?”

“Yeah, Alana?”

“Lynn’s here so I’m gonna be leaving now. I’ll see you at dinner, alright?”

“Alright,” she smiles, tugging down the dishtowel resting on her shoulder so she can dry off her hands, and gives me a hug. “You be safe, alright? And I’ll see you in a few hours.”

“Okay, I will.”

“I love you, sweetheart,” she says softly, tucking a section of hair behind my ear.

“I love you, too, Mom.”

She kisses my cheek and I give her a small wave as I slowly back away from her, making my way back to Zacky and Lynn.

“Alright, let’s get going!” I announce as I grab my hoodie off of the arm of the sofa.

They step back from the door to give me some room and we begin our short journey to the park. I tie my hoodie around my waist and look around as we keep walking to our destination. I don’t really know what to say to them right now. Especially since they look like they’re having a moment. They’re holding hands and I hear Lynn giggle at something he whispers to her. Maybe I should have opted to walk myself to the park seeing as how I’m kinda a third wheel now.

“So, Lana, are you excited to get to know everyone a little better?” Zacky asks me, breaking the silence that’s been hanging between me and them.

“Uh, yeah, I’m lookin’ forward to it,” I mumble, not really sure what else I should say.

“Don’t worry, I told Brian to be on his best behavior.”

Brian?

Did he just say ‘Brian’?

No one said anything about Brian coming along. But now that I think about it, why wouldn’t he be there? He’s friends with them, too. There was no reason for me to even think that he wouldn’t be there.

“Oh, that’s good. But it’s alright, Zacky, I can hold my own against him. I’ve been doing it for years now,” I reply with a tiny chuckle.

“He’s a nice guy, Lana,” Lynn adds on. “I think once he learns that we’re not in elementary school anymore you two will be getting along great.”

“Of course.”

I wouldn’t bet on it though…

We arrive at the park and see that Matt, Johnny, and Danni are already here. I scrunch my eyebrows at the sign of Laney’s absence. I don’t know why, but I figured that Matt would be with her.

“Sullivan, I swear if you try to make me fly off of this thing again, then I’m gonna kick your ass!” I hear a very familiar voice shout out.

I look to my right and see Laney and Jimmy playing on the teeter-totter. And Jimmy’s clearly trying to use enough force to try to catapult her into the air.

“Ooh, look, Lynn, Zacky, and Alana are here!” Jimmy cries out, hopping off of the teeter-totter and causing Laney’s side to come crashing down to the ground.

“Jimmy!”

“Oops, sorry, Laney!” he calls out as he looks over his shoulder, not stopping to see if she’s okay as he jogs over to us. “Hey, guys.”

“Hey,” the three of us reply.

“Jimmy, what the hell did you do to my girlfriend?” Matt shouts and he runs past us to Laney, who is picking herself up off of the ground.

“Sorry, I forgot that we were on the see-saw for a second!”

“So, how long have you guys been here?” Lynn asks them, glancing over at Matt as he wraps his arm around Laney.

“About ten minutes.”

“Brian’s not with you guys?” Danni asks.

“No, I figured he’d come with Jimbo,” Zacky replies.

“I guess he’ll just show up on his own in a bit,” Johnny says with a sigh.

“So what are we gonna do?” Lynn asks.

“Well we were going to play around on the see-saw and swings,” Laney starts as she and Matt approach us. “But seeing as how someone isn’t a good see-saw buddy I’m going to have to say we’re not doing that anymore.”

“It was an accident! I was just excited to see Zacky, Lynn, and Alana,” Jimmy defends.

“Well, we can still swing and stuff,” Matt says. “And the monkey bars and shit like that.”

“We sound like we’re fucking five-year-olds,” Zacky chuckles.

“Very potty mouthed five-year-olds,” Danni laughs.

“Well, it’s playing on the playground shit, talking, or going to the spot. And none of us have any booze now.”

“Hey, maybe that’s where Brian is!” Johnny chimes hopefully.

“I don’t think so,” Laney tells him.

“Why?”

“Because that doesn’t look like he’s got booze.” She points out past my shoulder and I turn my head to see someone coming in our direction with a skateboard tucked underneath his arm.

“Hey, guys,” Brian greets us with a smile on his face.

“Where the hell have you been?” Jimmy asks.

“Brent hid my board and I didn’t feel like walking,” he replies simply with a shrug of his shoulder.

“You’re just a lazy fucker, aren’t ya?” Johnny laughs.

“Hey, you better watch it, Shortshit. I could kick your ass and we both know it,” he points out with a smirk.

“Hey, don’t be picking on my Monkey,” Danni tells him, hugging onto Johnny.

“Your Monkey?” Matt chuckles.

“I wouldn’t be one to talk, Dimplekins,” Jimmy says teasingly, reaching out to pinch Matt’s cheek. But he quickly slaps it away.

“Alright, that’s enough of that!” Lynn chuckles, trying to keep the peace. “What are we gonna do now that we’re all here?”

“I wanna swing!” Laney smiles. “Will you push me, Dimplekins?” she asks Matt with a small pout of her lips.

“If I didn’t love you so much you would be so dead for calling me that,” he chortles, pressing his lips to her forehead. “Of course I’ll push you.”

“Yay!” she cheers, taking his hand and running over to the swing set.

“I wanna swing, too!” Lynn smiles. “Come on, Z!” she grins, taking his hand in hers.

“It’s like we’re fuckin’ five,” Zacky chuckles as she drags him over to the swings.

“You wanna join them?” Johnny asks Danni with a light laugh.

“Might as well,” she smiles as she laces her fingers with his, leaving me to stand here awkwardly between Jimmy and Brian.

Well… This is… Nice…

“Hey, dude, let me see your board.”

“Uh, sure. Here,” Brian replies unsurely as he hands the board over to Jimmy.

“You ever been on a skateboard, Alana?” he asks me as he takes the board from Brian’s hands.

“Uh, no,” I reply with a shaky chuckle. “I would probably bust my ass if I did.”

“It’s not that hard. You wanna try? I can teach ya how.”

“Umm… Sure?”

“Great, come with me!” he beams, waving his hand for me to follow him as he leads me over to a long straight stretch of sidewalk. He stops and sets the board down on its wheels, standing up straight as he brushes off his jeans. “Alright, first you need to get on the board.”

“Okay…”

I eye the board nervously, and look behind me, wondering if Brian’s around to laugh at me and my feeble attempt at skateboarding. He’s not anywhere in sight so I carefully get on it like I’ve seen several people do before, and try to maintain my balance.

“You’re goofy,” he comments, causing me to look at him funny. “Sorry, I meant the way you stand on the board. It’s what we call goofy.”

“Oh…”

“Anyway, that’s perfect. Now all you’ve gotta do is bring your foot down and push on the sidewalk until you think you’ve gained enough speed, then you bring it back up. You think you can do that?”

“I can try.”

“Don’t worry,” he smiles, his blue eyes locking onto mine. “I doubt you’ll go too fast. I’ll be there to catch you if you fall.”

“Thanks,” I reply with a small smile, a weird feeling knotting up in my stomach. A feeling a lot like the one I got this summer… A lot like the one that I ignored… Maybe I should think twice about hanging around Jimmy…

“It’s not a problem. Alright, now let’s get started!”

I nod, letting out a shaky breath as I bring my foot down to the ground like he instructed, the bottom of my shoe hitting the hard concrete as I push off, setting the board into motion. I do this a couple more times before I think that I’m going a little too fast for comfort and quickly bring my foot back up to the board, trying my best to not fall and bust my ass.

I’m not sure how far I’ve gone, but I think it’s safe to say that I wanna stop now.

And that’s the one thing he didn’t tell me how to do.

I can see that I’m running out of sidewalk, and am about to crash into some poor unsuspecting guy. Maybe I should scream to let him know he needs to jump out of the way…

I open my mouth to make my presence known. I want to scream, “Watch out, stupid girl on a skateboard that doesn’t know what she’s doing!” but instead all that comes out is an unattractive squeak-like sound.

He turns around to face me just as I make a weak attempt to stop the board, awkwardly tipping the front of it to the ground and causing me to fall forward, consequently flying into the guy.

“Ugh!” he huffs as I slam into his chest, knocking him down to the ground.

“I am so sorry!” I quickly apologize. “My friend was just teaching me to skateboard and I--” I stop mid-sentence as my eyes lock onto a familiar pair of brown ones.

Fuck.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!

I quickly scramble to my feet, pulling myself off of Brian.

“It’s okay, Sunshine,” he mumbles as he pulls himself up onto his feet, brushing off his jeans. “Are you o-- What the fuck did you do to my skateboard!?” he exclaims, reaching behind me for the board that I had just flown off of.

“Umm… I’m sorry… Jimmy didn’t tell me how to stop and I didn’t know what to do, so I panicked and… I… I’m sorry…” I ramble.

“You killed it!”

“I didn’t mean to… I’m really sorry… I’ll get you a new one…”

“Don’t even fucking bother, Fray,” he spits, shaking his head as he stomps off in the opposite direction.

I bite my lip, hugging myself as I watch him walk away.

I knew the park was a bad idea. Now he’s going to treat me even worse than before…