Green Eyes

I lay in bed, thinking, not able to fall back to sleep. There were so many things on my mind – so many things I didn’t know. What happened once I left yesterday? Did they kill Layton? Did they kill Sammi? Was she going to be at school today? Where the hell was Johnny?

That was what was worrying me the most. What if something had happened to him? I still felt the need to protect him and be there for him, even though I was the problem for him. That made me feel guilty. But I shouldn’t feel that way, right? I mean, I didn’t ask for a whole bunch of crazy vampires to come after me. I didn’t ask to be Zacky’s soulmate, though I sure as hell don’t mind. I didn’t ask for Johnny to feel this way about me, I just wish we were friends. I hate seeing him hurt. It hurts me too.

God, my life is messed up. But then, why do I love it so much?

I rolled over and sighed. Closing my eyes, I willed myself to go to sleep. Hearing laughter, my eyes snapped open. ‘You look so funny when you’re trying to sleep.’

I glared at Kaylee, pulling my blankets around me. ‘You know, I’m beginning to doubt that you were ever human.’

Kaylee raised an eyebrow. ‘Why’s that?’

Grumbling, I forced myself to sit up. ‘Have you ever heard of a door? Or knocking?’

Kaylee laughed and plonked herself down on my bed. ‘Hmm, seems to ring a bell.’

‘How did you get in anyways?’

Kaylee smiled and pointed at my open window. ‘You should try it some time. It’s awesome fun.’

‘Yeah except my bones are actually breakable. And to think I thought that I was safe at night.’

Kaylee grinned evilly. ‘Not from me you aint.’

I threw my pillow at her and she fell over laughing. ‘I meant kidnappers you idiot. Or rapists. Or maybe evil vampires. Any of that ring a bell?’

She sat up and her face went serious. ‘Good point actually.’

She got up and walked over to the window, closing it and locking it. She smiled in success and walked back to the bed, sitting down.

There was a bang at the window followed by a stream of curse words and a crash. Kaylee and I glanced at each other quickly before running over to the window. I unlocked it and carefully peered out.

Lying on the ground, rubbing his head, was Matt. Kaylee and I both cracked up laughing, causing Matt to look up at us weirdly. Matt flipped us the bird before climbing up the tree and jumping in through the window. He sighed and plopped himself on my bed. ‘Since when do you shut the window?’

Kaylee chuckled and walked over to him, kissing him on the cheek. His mood immediately brightened. ‘Since we decided it was safer ‘cause there are evil vampires out there.’

Matt looked up at me. ‘Good point.’

I smiled at him before walking over and plopping myself on my bed. ‘You guys do realise that I was trying to sleep? And also that it’s about 2 in the morning?’

Kaylee grinned and threw a pillow at me. Growling, I threw it on the floor. ‘Yeah we know. But Zacky told me to come and well, Matt decided to follow.’

I raised my eyebrow. ‘Zacky told you to come?’ This disappointed me. Why hadn’t he come to see me himself? Had I done something wrong?’

As if reading my thoughts, Kaylee smiled at me. ‘Yeah. He said he could tell that you were worried or something like that. He wanted to come but he had to set something up.’

I smiled at her and nodded. I was still disappointed though. ‘What did he have to set up?’

Matt scowled. ‘He won’t tell any of us. It’s starting to get annoying though.’

I crinkled my face up in confusion and plonked myself on Matt’s lap, who jerked in surprise. ‘It looked comfy?’

Matt laughed and put his arms around me. ‘So watcha worried about Kayla?’

I frowned. Until then, I had forgotten about all my troubles. ‘What happened last night? Did you kill any of them?’

Matt frowned. ‘Unfortunately most of them got away. Zacky was determined on getting that main guy, you know, the one with the black hair?’

I nodded. ‘Layton.’

‘Yeah, Layton. But he got away. So did the girl. We only managed to kill the two of them.’

I frowned and leaned back into his arms. ‘That means he’ll be back. And that Sammi girl will probably plan something again.’

Kaylee rubbed my leg reassuringly. ‘Not if we can help it.’

I smiled at her and sighed again, thinking of my other problems.

Matt frowned at me. ‘What’s wrong, baby girl?’

Kaylee faked hurt and hit Matt. ‘Hey, that’s my name.’

I laughed half-heartedly and rested my head on my chin. ‘I’m worried about Johnny.’

Matt sighed. ‘We all are. He’s disappeared before but not for this long. We were thinking of going to look for him soon.’

I looked up at him. ‘Can we go now? I can’t sleep and I want to help.’

Kaylee and Matt exchanged glances before turning to look at me. ‘I don’t think so. Zacky would kill us.’

I pouted and looked at them pleadingly. Matt sighed and shook his head. ‘Fine. But don’t go using that face against me.’

I laughed and got up, immediately feeling better now that I was going to get Johnny. I just hoped he was safe.

Johnny’s POV
I lay down on the beach, thinking. I needed blood – the pain of my thirst was killing me. I hadn’t drunk anything for over 3 weeks. I guess it was my way of feeling like I had control over something in my life. I didn’t want to drink it anymore. I just wanted to disappear.

But no, that can’t happen. I’m immortal.

I hate my life. So much. The one thing I wanted, the one thing I craved with all I had I couldn’t have. And not only that, I had to watch one of my best friends have her exactly the way I wanted.

I want her to be mine. I need her to be mine. All want to do is hold her. I need her to make me feel whole again, which I haven’t felt since Lorette died. I want to be the one that makes her smile, I want to be the one to hold her when she’s sad. But I can’t. Instead I have to watch someone else do that right in front of me.

Boyfriend. He was her boyfriend. Not only that, they were soulmates. And to think, when I first saw her, I thought she was mine. I thought I’d found mine at last.

Screaming in anger, I threw myself off the ground and kicked the sand. She was mine! She had to be!

I picked up a massive rock and threw it into the sea, growling in frustration. I fell to my knees, tears pouring down my face. If I couldn’t have her – I couldn’t watch her be with someone else. I had two options. One was to go, to just leave and get away from everything. But I couldn’t do that. I had nowhere else to go. My friends were here – they were like my family. And I knew that even on the other side of the world I would still need her.

Well then what did that leave me with? Dying? That seemed to be the only way to get out of this. Actually, I didn’t mind the thought.

But could I? Was it possible for a vampire to die?

The thought hit me. Fire.

I smiled grimly and ran to the nearest tree, ripping it out of the ground. I threw it to the ground, and began ripping out others, taking out my anger. I was screaming, letting the world know the pain I was in. With every tree I pulled out, I thought of everything I wanted, everything I couldn’t have.

I threw them all to the same spot and began working on creating a fire. This was it. This was the end. Was it weird that I was scared?

The flame erupted and I laughed quickly before throwing it onto the pile of trees, setting them ablaze. I was beginning to feel a bit crazy. I liked it.

I took a deep breath, preparing myself for what was about to happen. In my mind I pictured all the good things in my life; Lorette, meeting the guys, Kayla, holding her in my arms.

I took a step forward, enjoying the heat of the blaze. I wasn’t going to wuss out. No, for once I was going to just do it. Then it would be over. Empty.

Just as I was about to step forward, I heard a voice.

‘JOHNNY! NO!’

If it had been any other voice but that one, I would have stepped into the fire. But this one made me turn around.

Kayla was running towards me, fear covering her face. Was that for me?

I turned back to the fire. I had to do it quickly. I had to let go of her forever.

I felt something warm grab my arm and I turned around to look into Kayla’s worried face. She was crying. ‘Johnny don’t do this. Please. I need you!’

This broke my heart. She needed me.

No. I couldn’t let this get to me.

She tried pulling me but of course she couldn’t move me. I was a vampire! I turned to face her, my heart instantly freezing at the sight of her tear stained eyes. ‘Kayla. I can’t have you. I can’t do this if I can’t have you.’

Kayla tried pulling me again, but instead wrapped her arms around me. ‘But I still need you Johnny. I know it hurts but you’ve got to stay. You can’t just die. I don’t care if it takes me forever – I’ll help you find your soulmate. I’ll search the world with you. I promise.’

Tears began to fall from my eyes. I looked over her shoulder to see Matt and Kaylee running towards me, screaming. But I couldn’t hear them. If I could, I didn’t care.

I felt Kayla’s tears hit my shoulder. I looked up into her eyes and saw the pain in them. I couldn’t do this to her. I knew it would hurt me not to have her as mine, but I would surely go to hell for hurting her this way.

Reluctantly, I allowed her to lead me away, her grasping my hand tightly. Matt reached us and went to the fire, blowing it out. I collapsed on the sand and Kayla fell with me, still holding my hand.

Kayla turned to look at me and wrapped her arms around my waist. ‘Thankyou Johnny. You may not be my soulmate, but I’ve definitely got a place for you in my heart. And I don’t care if it takes an entire lifetime, I’ll help you find her. You deserve it.’

I just looked into her eyes, enjoying the depth of emotions in them. I guess they mirrored my own. I reached up and wiped her tears away, never once looking away from her face. It was though in preparing myself to never see it again, I had forgotten just how good it felt to look at.

‘Promise?’ I whispered.

Kayla smiled. ‘Promise. Just as long as you promise to never do that to me again.’

I smiled weakly. ‘I promise.’

She grinned and hoisted herself off the ground, rubbing the sand off her back. She held her hand out to me and I took it, smiling slightly.

It felt good. In death I would have never felt this way. And that wouldn’t be what I wanted after all.

It was then I knew. I may not have her, but I could still be with her. Yeah, it hurt, but it was going to have to be enough.

Matt ran over to me and wrapped me in a man hug. He pulled away and I could see he was fighting back tears. ‘Johnny you little bugger. Don’t do that to me again, you hear?’

I nodded and smiled weakly. Kaylee ran over to me and I could see she was also shaken. I didn’t know what I was doing would have this big an effect on the people I knew. She hugged me tightly and pulled away, shaking her head. ‘Bloody hell Johnny you scared the crap outta us.’

I laughed weakly. ‘Sorry. I just couldn’t handle it, you know?’ I turned away to stop them from seeing I was crying. God, what sort of wuss was i? Men don’t cry!

I felt something warm grab my hand and I looked up to see Kayla smiling at me. ‘Next time, talk to me, ok? I’ve been told I’m good at listening.’

I smiled and we began walking, followed closely by Matt and Kaylee. Kayla swung our hands, and began to whistle peacefully. ‘So where are we going to look first? Paris? Japan?’

I laughed softly and turned to look at her. ‘How about for now, we just go home?’

Kayla pouted and sighed dramatically. ‘Damn, I was so looking forward to seeing the Eiffel Tower. But I guess we could just go home.’

I laughed and turned away, continuing to walk.

Kayla made me happy. For the first time in years, I felt complete. Maybe not fully, but better than I was. And although I may not have her the way I want her, I’ve still got her, right? And she’s right. I deserve to be happy.