Learning to Fall

I never fully understood just how important my invite to the party was to Kaitlin, Rae and Julia. But, when they attack me with questions on Monday at lunch, I start to get the feeling that it’s almost crucial to them.

“How was it?”

“Did you have any fun?”

“Where there any hot guys?”

I just stare at them for a second and then sit down at the table. “It was good. I met a few girls who I talked to. They were nice.”

“Senior girls?” Rae asks, eyes wide.

“Yeah.”

“Wow. That’s cool. Which ones?”

“Um… Their names were Tara, Stef and Kelly.”

“I don’t think I know them…” Julia says with a shrug.

“So anything interesting happen?” Kaitlin asks, giving me a knowing look.

“Um… no not really.”

“Oh, please. I can tell you’re hiding something. Spill.”

I give the girls a small smile. I guess it wouldn’t hurt to tell them… They are my friends, after all. Aren’t you supposed to tell your friends if you make out with a really hot guy at a party?

“Well, okay, fine. Alex kissed me.” The three of them gasp and then Kaitlin shrieks. “Oh, God! Don’t do that!” I complain, covering my ears. I glance around the cafeteria, and thankfully nobody is looking at us.

“He kissed you?” She hisses across the table.

“Yeah, but before you say anything, it was nothing. He said he doesn’t want to be in a relationship.”

Kaitlin’s about to respond, but then her eyes focus on something across the room. “He’s coming over this way,” She says in a soft voice.

I sit still, not wanting to turn around, because I actually really do not want to see him. A few seconds go by before I see him walk past the table. He doesn’t even glance over at me.

“See?” I say, trying to hide how hurt I actually am. “It was nothing. He was pretty drunk.”

**

After school, I wait outside for my mom to pick me up. She said she was going to be a few minutes late, meaning she won’t be here for another 20 minutes, I’m sure. She’s been busy with work.

I sit down on a bench in front and take out my science notebook. I might as well get started on homework, since there’s really nothing else for me to do. Five minutes go by before the school’s front doors open and I see Alex walk out. Following behind him is a girl – I think a senior – with brown hair, a tight black t-shirt, and obnoxious pink skinny jeans. She’s laughing at something he said, and they’re walking towards his car. He’s walking faster than her, though.

“Hey,” She calls out after him. “Wait up!”

“Maybe you should walk a little faster, Gracie. I don’t really have all day.” I hear him say in a cool tone, and the girl shuts her mouth.

I’d like to say that I have no idea what’s going on, but that would be a lie. I’d also like to try and convince myself that Alex sleeping with random girls would not upset me in the slightest. I really shouldn’t get into the habit of lying, though.

**

At 11:15, I’m about to shut down my computer and head to bed. I just finished my 2 page English paper not due until Friday. I don’t have to worry about it anymore.

I click the ‘shut down’ button and wait for the screen to turn black before closing the laptop. I got it last Christmas from Zack because he thought I would write better school essays on a laptop. He was right, as much as I hate to admit that.

My cell phone rings on my bedside table, and seriously, who the hell is calling me right now? But when I see the name, I take that question back.

“Hello?” I say into the phone while packing my backpack.

“Stella, it’s Alex.”

“Yeah… I know.”

“Oh… right. Well anyway, I was hoping we could get together tomorrow. I have a math test on Friday, and I have no clue what’s been going on.”

I bite my lip as I hear someone – a girl – say in the background ‘Who are you on the phone with?’

“Gracie didn’t leave yet?” I ask, and I instantly regret it. It’s not my business.

“How’d you…?”

“I saw you leaving with her.”

“Oh.. Hey, Stella, I thought we were on the same page here.”

“We are,” I lie.

“Okay… Um… well I have to go… but I’ll see you tomorrow after school at your locker… okay?”

“Yeah… alright.”

“Night, Stella.”

I hear the *click* and then the dial tone and I have to literally force myself not to cry. He’s not worth it.